Magical Murder: An Urban Fantasy Mystery (The Lyon Fox Mysteries Book 1)
Page 15
Cumin, better than Flowers.
Tabasco, nicer than Flowers.
Ghost peppers, as evil as Flowers.
I fall to the mat, not even caring that it’s been the site of many a sweaty man’s nethers during our wrestling matches. My blonde hair splays out and I close my baby blues, cursing myself for thinking that becoming an investigator was a good idea. It’s just five more months. Just five more months … I don’t think five months has felt this long since I was a kid. And it’s only five months of half nights. I spend five hours a night at the Academy and five more at the office training on paperwork. I’m a month in. Just five to go. Unfortunately, the workout is the first two hours every night at the Academy.
I open my eyes to peek at the clock on the wall of the gym. We haven’t hit the two-hour mark tonight. Gah!
Flowers—I seriously think he must have some demon blood in there somewhere, though officially he’s a tiger-shifter—leans over me and whispers, “One more, Fox.”
My arms tremble as I force my body into position. I hiss through my teeth. “I hate you.” But I do it.
“Way to push through,” he slaps me on the butt with a towel before moving off to torture someone else.
The room goes hazy for a second and I think I’ve died. If he’s killed me, I’m totally going ghost and haunting his toned abs. Literally. I think I’ll pop my head through his stomach and start talking at strategic moments. I smile as I picture ruining every date he’ll ever have.
Seena and Becca, two other Academy recruits, haul me up so we can go jump over some tires. You know, because I see the police doing that every day. Job essential. Obviously. I’ve tried to bring up my theory that if we want real-world skills we should practice napping in cars, but Flowers didn’t appreciate my insight.
Flowers lines us up so we’re three across and blows a whistle like it’s kindergarten gym time. “When the person in front of you is three tires ahead, you start. First row. Go!”
I’m toward the back, so I get a breather. Thank goodness.
Seena lines up next to me. He’s a Persian shifter. Haven’t asked him what kind yet. We’ve bonded over our hatred of the first two hours of the day. He’s in this thing because he’s some kind of genius analyst who wants a legal reason to hack computers and outsmart other nerds. And apparently he got bored over at LAPD because—and I quote— “Humans just don’t know how to be as devious. We’ve had centuries more practice.” He thinks working as an investigator in Tres Lunas will be more interesting than his last job. Only problem? Every investigator is required to go through the Academy.
“Damn initiation rituals,” Seena moans as he rubs his shoulder.
I envy his ability to curse the moment aloud. My fairy mother thought cursing was a nasty habit of mine when I was a teenager. So, what’d she do? Hired a witch to curse me with a cursing curse. Meaning I can’t curse aloud. Ever. I try to make up for it internally. But it’s not really the same. The best I can do is spit out some texty curses, or some lamebrain options like—
“It’s total horse puckey.” I nod fervently, agreeing with Seena.
Becca lines up on my other side and grins. She’s an effervescent and cheerful sprite, whom I befriended against all odds. Normally I don’t like girls as bubbly as soda pop. But there’s something about her that’s just so damn lovable. Maybe it’s the fact that she’s got one of those perfect heart faces with eternally pinchable cheeks.
“The fun team is ready to rock!” She crosses her eyes and does a devil sign with her hands.
Screech! Our turn.
Seena puffs as he runs the tires next to me. “Okay. You ready? Persian insult … of the day: zahré mar. It means … poison of the snake. Like bullshit—”
“How are those even … equivalent?” Becca asks, words punctuated by hard breathing. “I mean … bullshit stinks. Gross. But snake poison? Not … the same level. Death. Totally illogical.”
“They both suck … to step on?” Seena offers. “I don’t decide translations. I’m just here … to expand your vocab.”
“Well, that translation’s … zahré mar,” Becca retorts.
“Too busy dying … to learn! … Zahré mar!” I retort, as my legs catch on fire. Seena’s been on this kick to help me expand my cursing abilities. Apparently, my mom’s curse doesn’t pick up on Persian words.
“Good!” Seena pants. “Both proper uses.”
“Whoop!” Becca loses her balance and grabs my arm. I trip, tumbling face first into Seena. He falls forward into the cadet in front of him, and we create a domino effect, effectively felling those in front of us.
Screech!
Flowers blows on his whistle. As if that’ll do anything to stop the disaster.
“Okay dimwits. Since tires are too complicated, let’s do laps.” His glare at our trio clearly spells out who’s responsible for the laps. Thanks man. As if this hazing thing wasn’t enough. Like tripping was Becca’s fault? She’s barely five feet! Those tires are almost as high as her knees.
We groan, detangle, and run laps. And laps. And laps.
Until we finally hit that blessed two-hour mark.
But we don’t get to collapse. Nope. Shower? Nope. We get to move on to practicing spells.
I groan.
I’m a mutt. My mom has some strange amalgamation of fairy blood—white, fall, flower… you name it, it’s in her gene pool. It’s been diluted over the centuries by other creatures and humans too. My dad? Full human. So, though I’m fairy enough to have been born with a blue jewel in my chin and black toenails, magic ain’t my game, yo. That’s my fairy gangster voice. It’s what I used to use whenever I was pretending to be standoffish when I’d visit my mother beyond the Veil. It totally worked. Made all the powerful fairies back right off. Yeah. I wish.
I do have two minuscule powers. The first is—you guessed it (because every magical creature’s got it)—quick healing. Maybe I’d feel better about this one if I was a were-animal and prone to fights for alpha status. Or if I was a troll who just liked to fight. But I’m basically a reading-and-junk-food-obsessed shut in. So that power’s never been all that good to me. (I’ve totally suppressed the memories of the time I was attacked by a crazy vampire and later accused of her murder. So not bringing it up.) My other lamebrain power is … wait for it. Losing things. Yup. That’s me. Need something lost? I can do it for you.
Flowers is under some delusion that I can learn to enhance my power. Ha. Yeah. I can see that being so useful as an investigator. Let me help you lose your keys. No keys? How about your kid?
I rub a tired hand over my face. I need to tamp it down. And focus. Or I’m not gonna make any ‘progress’ and I’ll be on Flower’s shit list. The bottom three recruits each night get tasked with some awful assignment. And he’s clearly gunning for my little trio since we caused the pileup tonight.
I line up near Becca and grab a couple of yoga blocks. I’m supposed to try to ‘lose them’ to a specific location.
I stare at my block. Concentrate. Visualize. Like all the self-help spell books say to do. “I’ve lost my yoga block in the men’s locker room.” The block disappears.
But does it go to the men’s locker room? Of course not. Instead, it reappears just above Flowers head.
Bonk.
My classmates all laugh. I can’t help it. I laugh. He didn’t even see it coming.
But I stop laughing when he marches right over to me.
“Fox!”
“Yessir.”
“I’m going to assume that was a mistake.”
“Yes, sir, it was.”
“Please demonstrate your spell.”
I try not to let my hands shake as Flowers glares at me. I don’t know where he learned to glare like that, but he’s got a good one. It’s got me ready to cry and run at the same time. Not to mention the fact that every eye in the gym is now about to watch me and my lame powers. I’d hoped to fly under the radar through the Academy. No such luck.
I gra
b a new block. I stare at it, willing it to behave.
“I’ve lost my yoga block in the men’s locker room.”
Bonk.
This time the block bonks Seena on the head.
“Hey!” Seena throws the block at me and misses.
Flowers lips don’t even twitch. I wonder if he’s secretly a cyborg.
“You’re not focusing.” He steps closer and shoves a new block into my arms.
Right now, all I can focus on is his steely-eyed glare. My BFF might think he was sexy. JR’s got a thing for strong Latino men. But Flowers is frickin’ intense. In a scary way.
I take a slow deep breath. Don’t tempt the monster.
“Stop trying to be a clown. Send that block somewhere serious.”
“Like your office? That’s about the most serious room in the building.” Dammit! That just slipped out.
A middle-school-like chorus of “Oooooooh,” sounds off around us.
A deep breath. That’s his only reaction. A deep breath. This guy’s got nerves of steel. I can’t help admire that a little. Until he leans in. Then I’m scared again.
“Fill my office with blocks, Fox. Until you do, you’ve earned a permanent spot on my list.”
Mother eff. Frickin’ idiot. I’m so stupid.
He saunters off, all cool confidence. I drop my block and ball my free hands into fists to keep myself from throwing the block at him.
Seena comes over and pats me on the head. “Don’t worry, Lyon. I’m sure it’ll only be the worst thing possible short of death.” His brown eyes glitter in amusement.
I smack him in the stomach.
Seena takes it like a computer nerd and crumples to the floor. I feel slightly better for being mean. Pecking order right? Until he winks up at me and hops to his feet. Dammit! Faker!
Becca bumps my shoulder from the other side. “Meow. Who’s that?” She not-so-subtly jerks her head toward the double doors of the gym.
“Frick. Frick. Frick.” I pull her in front of me.
“That’s the double ex,” Seena whispers across me as I try to use the two of them as a human shield.
“Is that a porn reference? God, I hope he’s on film naked somewhere,” Becca giggles.
I smack her arm. “No. That’s my ex.”
“What’s double ex mean then?”
Seena raises an eyebrow as Bennett walks our way. “It means Ly-Ly was stupid enough to break up with this guy twice.”
“No!” Becca turns to me. “Say it isn’t true?”
I duck further behind Seena, not giving up the ruse, though Bennett’s eyes are locked on mine.
Black hair, piercing green eyes, chiseled jaw. A dragon-shifter heartthrob. That I told I needed a break. Because… I stare at his eyes. He’s staring back so intensely that I have a hard time remembering why we’re on a break.
Becca smacks me. “You broke up with that?”
Her smack snaps me out of the spell his eyes have put on me.
“Yup.”
My eyes slip to Bennett’s pecs, outlined in detail by the wife-beater he’s wearing. He’s also got on official Tres Lunas Investigation sweats. He must be here for a workout. My mind slips back to the workouts he used to give me in the bedroom. And suddenly, I’m sweating for a reason that has nothing to do with my aching muscles.
“Are you crazy?” Becca stage whispers.
“Maybe,” I reply.
Bennett reaches us and gives respectful nods to Seena and Becca.
“Ms. Fox. Can I have a word?”
Shit. He’s sought me out and is being formal. This can’t be good.
Read more of Enchanted Execution here:
Enchanted Execution - The Lyon Fox Mysteries Book 2
A Personal Note from Lyon Fox
Hey!
So, we're like friends now, right? Not like secret friends. But like friends who talk and post on Facebook for each other's birthdays and stuff, right? (Mine's October 16th.) Because I totally just told you like tons of personal stuff. And it would be really embarrassing if you turned me down after that.
Ouch! Gah, the writer's poking me to tell you about real-life moments from the book.
Um, they are all true to my life. But apparently my life doesn't count. Because I'm a fictional character. What B.S. Hello? Did you not feel my fear when I thought I was going down for that Georgina thing? What's more real than that?
Apparently, these things:
1. There was actually a first date at an Indian restaurant where the bathroom door was locked and dine and ditch looked like a possibility.
2. A version of Squirts.
3. There is a woman who's ditzy enough to only read coloring books. Yeah, it's mean. But I bet you know one, too.
Ugh. And now, as if things aren't bad enough, she wants me to tell you that I write the emails for the reader group. WHAT? No. I refuse. I already have a new job. And apparently, it's harder to be a cop than an attorney because I have to go to the Academy and train.
B.S. I am not writing you any letters. (Totally writing you letters) FUDGING FRICK! She's taking over my fingers. Make this stop. Don't one-click books 2 or 3. Not worth it.
Whoa. Hold up. She’s saying if I suck at advertising, she’s gonna kill me off. Call the cops! Don’t let her kill me! Shoot. Shoot. Okay. Fine. Please—pretty please tell your friends about me and how awesome I am. Tell that weird co-worker who has no social skills and all the people on Amazon.
Ignore this crazy bee of an author’s threats and just tell me you love me. Leave a review. Because, like, how else am I gonna know about your love? I only exist in words. So, anything that's not written down technically doesn't exist for me.
Peace out-
Ly
Afterword
Thank you so much for reading! You are amazing, and you are the reason I can keep dreaming up beautiful worlds. If you liked this book, please leave an Amazon review and tell your friends!
Your reviews and recommendations keep me pumped up as I write the next book. So, thanks!
Acknowledgments
Big thanks to the following people:
The hub. Obviously. For being awesome and pushing me to pursue this dream.
Raven, Ivy, Mia, Aubry, S, Janie, Christine, Rebecca, Lacey, Josephine, Misti, Kezi, and everyone else who provided feedback or love to Lyon. I couldn’t have done it without you.
The kiddos. Thanks for the nights you went to sleep early.
Other Books by Ann Denton
The Lyon Fox Mysteries
Magical Murder
Enchanted Execution
Supernatural Sleep
Hexed Hit
My first reverse harem series is the Tangled Crown series. It’s a medieval fantasy with a bully romance feel in the first book.
Tangled Crowns Series
Knightfall - Book 1 - Available Here
MidKnight - Book 2 - Available Here
Knight’s End - Coming Soon!
My second reverse harem series is the Lotto Love series. Its a rom-com reverse harem with a private island, lottery money, and tons of handsome men.
Lotto Love Series
Lotto Men - Book 1 - Available Here
Lotto Trouble - Book 2 - Available Here
If you’re in the mood for more intrigue, check out my Postapocalyptic Thriller series.
Timebend
Melt
Burn
Connect and Get Sneak Peeks
If you like to read exclusive snippets from different characters, make predictions with other readers, see my inspiration for books, or just come hang and be yourself, I have a Facebook reader group.
Feel free to join Ann Denton’s Reader Group.
About Me
I am a Virgo, have driven around town finding landmarks based on a friend’s dream, and am addicted to dark chocolate bars with espresso. I have a hubster who encourages my crazy pants ways. I have two amazing little humans who look up to me right now, but won’t for long because I’m very
short. Other than that … I’m pretty much an open book. :)
Ann@AnnDenton.com
www.AnnDenton.com