Book of the Dead: AESLI-00: (A reverse harem, post-pandemic, slow-burn romance) (The JAK2 Cycle, Book 1)

by V. E. S. Pullen

  Tai: It’s not like she can escape us, right? If it’s true what we think, then we’re being forced into her orbit.

  Luka: I don’t want it to be because of what other people are doing to force it. She’s never going to fucking trust me unless I make the effort NOW. If I wait and it’s really awful, she’ll never believe I really mean it.

  Tai: He’s right. That’s why I promised I’d tell her everything.

  Sasha: You sound like you care about her.

  Tai: I don’t like what they’re doing to her. She’s a fucking human being, she doesn’t deserve to have medication withheld or have experiments run on her.

  Luka: *I* care about her and I’m not going to pretend I don’t. She’s supposed to be my friend, and I really like her. She makes me laugh, and she’s so goddamn honest.

  Sev: That’s true, she is the honey badger. She doesn’t give a fuck what anyone thinks, she just does her own thing. I respect that, but I’m still pissed at her.

  Luka: She won’t even look at me. I fucked up so bad. I should have never gone along with your stupid plan to have those bitches hang with us at lunch, you’re just pissed and want to punish her.

  Sasha: Yeah, I am pissed. She’s acting like a goddamn child.

  Sev: She doesn’t have any right to judge us.

  Luka: That’s what YOU think is going on, you don’t know that’s what she’s mad about.

  Sev: She didn’t get upset until we said we left our family behind to come here so we could get the vaccine. It’s pretty fucking obvious what she thinks of us.

  Me: I really don’t think it’s about that. Or the girls. I think it’s something else that has nothing to do with us.

  Tai: If I’ve learned anything from spending time with Azzie, it’s that it is hardly ever about ME or anything I’ve done. She isn’t faking her disinterest.

  Luka: SHE CARES ABOUT US. I know she does. She’s just mad and I don’t want it to go on and then she realizes things are easier without us in her life. We fucked up. And we made it worse today, and I’m so PISSED about that. We chose the fucking enemy today. Dad would be fucking ASHAMED of us, we showed no loyalty to her. That shit has been drilled into our heads since birth, and the second it’s not easy or obvious, WE FUCK UP.

  Sasha: …

  Sev: Fuck.

  Me: I respect what you’re saying, but I’m still not sure it has anything to do with you or them.

  Luka: Then why did she walk out when I said I was sorry about lunch?

  Me: FUCK. Stay in your seat, I’ll handle this.

  I found her eventually, but it took awhile. She was in the stairwell, down a flight and sitting on a step out of view from above with her head buried in her arms. I thought she was crying, but when I got close, she lifted her head and I could see her cheeks were dry.

  “Please go away,” she said in a hollow voice, no life in her face. She was so pale and her eyes sunken — how did I not notice that immediately, the first time I saw her? It was so obvious she was sick.

  I sat down on the same step, on the other side. “I’m sorry,” I said quietly. “And Luka will back off.”

  “Yeah? Did you give him an order to? Or is Tai the one in charge?”

  “No one is in charge.” She snorted. “Or rather, we don’t know who is in charge,” I amended, and she stilled. “Why is this suddenly an issue? You know we were recruited for a study, Tai told you days ago. We still don’t know why we’re here, they are supposed to tell us eventually but we don’t know when, and you’ll know as soon as we do.”

  That got her attention. She sat up straighter, her head jerking around to face me, her eyes narrowed. “Why are you so willing to share all this with me?”

  I shrugged. “Because it’s pretty fucking obvious that you figured something out that we don’t understand yet, and Tai said that he made you a promise to tell you anything he knows. I’m just honoring that promise. And I think any of the triplets would do the same. We’re not your enemy.”

  “Tell me what’s going on.”

  “All I know is that we were recruited, all of us that you know and some others. There’s a pair of twin girls that are Sophomores, and twin boys that are Juniors too. We don’t know why, other than they’re studying something about the genetics of multiple births, which Tai already told you. And I don’t know for sure that it has anything to do with you — no, really, no one ever said your name or told us about you, but I think you’re right. There’s too many coincidences.”

  She stared straight ahead at nothing, her mind going a million miles an hour. “What about Ryan and Jason?”

  “What about them? They were recruited too.”

  “What do they have to say?”

  “Haven’t asked. They aren’t really— they’re assholes, okay? We don’t talk to them, not really. Tai and me got along with Sasha, Sev, and Luka during orientation, and we kind of worked out an alliance of sorts.”

  “But not with Ryan and Jason? They’ve been nice to me. Nicer than you, at least.”

  I winced. “Fair enough.”

  “Ask them.”

  “Huh?”

  “Bring Jason and Ryan into your little sewing circle, and ask them what they know. Tell them you think it’s about me, see what they say.”

  “They won’t— they aren’t going to be willing to help us with anything.”

  “Ask them. They might surprise you.”

  “Okay,” I agreed and her eyebrow shot up. “Don’t look so fucking shocked, I’m not that bad.”

  The corner of her mouth curled up but she didn’t say anything. We sat quietly for a few more minutes, then the urge to apologize became too much, even though I wasn’t even sure what I was apologizing for. “Look, I’m sorry—”

  “You had orientation?” She interrupted me, not interested in what I had to say, but she also seemed distracted like her mind was still working through something.

  “Yeah, a week when we first arrived. And it still didn’t help. This place…”

  “Not exactly like the rest of the world, eh?”

  “It’s surreal, honestly. I didn’t think places like this still existed.”

  “There’s a few,” she said, and I could tell her mind was elsewhere because she was giving away too much. From everything I’ve seen, most of the kids at this school didn’t know anything other than this place, like the town had been sealed off and preserved in all its glory, but she knew. “It’s ridiculous but they think it’s necessary. To be honest, I wish it was like a regular base, or like—” she stopped, her eyes wide as she focused on me again. “I don’t suppose you’ll forget what I just said?”

  “Not a chance. If we need to share information, then you do too.”

  She smirked. “Not a chance.”

  “Why?” I was genuinely confused. We all wanted the same thing, why wouldn’t she share what she knew?

  “Because there are things that you just can’t know,” she said, and in that moment I felt like I was talking to someone decades older than me. I felt like a child being told “because I said so.”

  I resented it, but I wasn’t a child, and I wasn’t going to act like one. “I can see that you believe that’s true, but you have to recognize that we have a better chance of figuring everything out if you share what you know.”

  “It’s not relevant,” she said, dismissively. “Look, I know what this sounds like, but you’re asking me to trust you and it works both ways. You have to trust me that there’s more going on than you ever need to know, and I can’t— fuck! You might think it’s fucking ridiculous or I’m being purposely cryptic to make myself seem more important, but the shit I know is above your pay grade, okay?” There was some element of apology there, but it was buried under layers of arrogance, and if I didn’t somehow think it was warranted, I would have gotten up and walked away right then.

  “You’re really fucking infuriating, you know that?” I shook my head, more disappointed then pissed.

  She barked out a mirthless
laugh. “You have no idea. I often think your brother is going to punch me.”

  “Nah, he likes you,” I said, chuckling at her shock. “I’m serious. And he’s really mad that your doctor isn’t giving you any of the meds that—”

  “Yeah, he needs to back the fuck off of that,” she said, legit upset. “I mean it, he can’t start involving himself in that, he’s going to piss off the wrong people and draw attention. I’ve tried telling him to back off — please, please make sure he’s not doing anything on his own—”

  “I’ll try but he’s stubborn,” I shrugged. She seemed pretty determined about this but my brother was stubborn and he wasn’t going to back down.

  “Spider,” she said, grabbing my arm, her eyes so big they seemed to take up half her face. She was genuinely afraid for him. “If he asks the wrong questions of the wrong people, they will not hesitate. They will kill him, and probably you too. I can tell by the look on your face that you think I’m exaggerating or being melodramatic or something, but I’m not. It’s happened before.”

  “What?! Are you serious?”

  She nodded, then looked around as if to make sure we were alone. She leaned in, our heads bent together as she spoke in hushed tones. I could smell her shampoo, something herbal and fresh this time, like she hadn’t showered at home. Fuck me, why am I suddenly jealous? She continued talking, oblivious to my moral dilemma. “A teacher here. I’d feel worse about it, but he was fucking creepy and it wasn’t out of concern for my well-being, if you get my meaning. So I’m not one hundred percent positive that it was because of me, I think he’d…involved himself with other girls too, but it was right after he told me that he was going to save me, he was going to rescue me or some bullshit. The next day I found out he’d been out in the woods running and was shot by a patrol accidentally, except that Mouse heard gunshots right outside the medical center. And I really shouldn’t be telling you any of this but you have to make Tai listen to you. He can’t talk to anyone about me. Okay?”

  I nodded, at a complete fucking loss for words. If all that was true? Holy shit. We somehow managed to stumble into something massive. “I promise, I’ll make sure he lets it go, at least for now.”

  She slumped down, her back now against the wall, facing me but with her eyes closed. I don’t know if she even realized her knee was resting against mine, but I knew, and I had an almost overwhelming urge to hold her again, give her some illusion of safety. I wanted to tell her everything was going to be okay.

  “The ironic thing is that none of this might matter in a few days.” I’m not totally sure she realized that she said that out loud, it was like an after-thought. I debated whether I should ask what she meant, and decided to wait, see if she said more. It was the right call, because a few seconds later, she said in the smallest whisper, “I’m so fucking scared.” Then her eyes snapped open, realizing I was watching her, hearing her, and she went cold again, a mask of indifference settling on her features. “Good talk then. We should get back. I have stuff to do after school today, but I’ll serve your fucking detention tomorrow.” She was smirking, but it was all for show.

  “What are you afraid of, Azzie?” I asked, my hand landing on her knee and keeping her in place when it looked like she was getting up. “Don’t run away, talk to me.”

  She shook her head. “Nothing that you need to be concerned about,” she said, then seemed to rethink her avoidance. “Some other stuff is going on, unrelated to any of this, and part of me wishes I could tell you, that I could talk about it to anyone, but I can’t. I just can’t.”

  “What do I need to do to get you to trust me?”

  She shook her head, helpless. It almost hurt me to watch her shut down. “It doesn’t matter if I trust you or not. I have responsibilities, and they aren’t always pleasant. We all have to do things we don’t want to sometimes, and you just need to suck it up and do your job. This is something I have to do, even if it scares me.”

  “Whatever it is, it can’t possibly be worth what it’s doing to you,” I said reasonably, keeping my tone even. “You’ve shut us all out, people who genuinely care about you.”

  Her eyes… her face. I’d never seen someone so young carry a weight so heavy, it aged her. She shook her head again, and I knew whatever it was, nothing I could say would ever convince her.

  “Why am I so worried about you now?”

  “I don’t know,” she whispered, “but is it wrong to say that I like it? No one but Mouse has worried about me in a really long time, not really. It’s like they forget I’m human.”

  I couldn’t look away from her, her confession tearing new holes inside me, puncturing the armor I forgot I even wore. Whatever was going on was bigger than me, bigger than us, but not bigger than her. I suddenly understood Luka.

  And then she tore my heart right out of my fucking chest.

  “Just don’t forget me if I die, okay? The real me, not the puppet they’ll all talk about.”

  She pushed up off the stairs and disappeared, heading back up to the class I’d abandoned, and I couldn’t move. I couldn’t think. Everything was different now, and so very fragile.

  Once I was sure I wasn’t going to throw up, and my heart had slowed down to a normal pace, I cradled my phone in shaking hands, reopening the group text.

  Me: I talked to Azzie.

  Sasha: Is she okay?

  Sev: How is she?

  Tai: Where are you?

  Me: Tai, you need to stop whatever investigation you are doing about her illness and treatment. Do not talk to anyone about it, do not ask questions. This is not negotiable.

  Sasha: Could you at least answer one of us?

  Tai: ??

  Me: Say you’ll back off. Say it and mean it. I’m invoking the twin law.

  Tai: It’s that serious?

  Sev: WTF? Why are you investigating her PV?

  Me: Yes, it’s that serious. If what she said is true, someone might have DIED because they asked too many questions. She begged me to convince you to stop. And even if it’s not true, the last thing she needs is to worry about me and you when it’s something we can very easily just not do. Okay?

  Luka: WHAT? Someone DIED?

  Me: I’ll explain later but it sounds likely.

  Tai: Fine. I promise I’ll stop doing any research. Okay?

  Me: YES. Thank you. She asked if we could include Jason and Ryan in any discussions we have, or at least ask them if they know anything.

  Sev: They aren’t going to tell us shit even if they know something.

  Luka: Why the fuck does she care about those assholes? WHY?

  Sasha: She has no idea what they’re like or she wouldn’t ask that.

  Sev: In their defense, we aren’t exactly sterling citizens either.

  Me: It doesn’t matter. We just need to do what she asked.

  Luka: The fuck we do.

  Sev: Luka, chill.

  Sasha: You’re suddenly awfully accommodating, Spider. You hate those assholes as much as we do. What changed? Got a little crush going? Dude, you’re a TEACHER.

  Tai: Yeah, and you’re a high school student. Don’t be an ass.

  Me: It’s not like that. I don’t think. I’m scared for her, I’m really fucking scared right now.

  Tai: What? WHY?

  Me: She’s doing something. I don’t know what, but something is happening in the next couple days and she’s terrified. She asked me not to forget her, the REAL her, if she dies.

  Sev: WHAT THE FUCK??

  Luka: Whatever it is, we have to stop her. She came in and grabbed her stuff and left. I’m going to try to catch her, we have to stop it. I don’t care if we have to lock her in our room for the next week, we can’t let whatever it is happen

  Me: It’s not up to us. Whatever it is, it’s her decision, and she believes it’s necessary. And I believe that she knows better than we do what has to be done.

  Sev: No. No, that’s not acceptable.

  Sasha: I agree with my brothers. Whatev
er this is, we have to stop it. She doesn’t get to make this kind of decision, I don’t care what you say. She’s only seventeen fucking years old, she doesn’t get to choose to do something that could kill her. No.

  Tai: Spider, why are you so accepting of this? This isn’t like you, you’re the fucking white knight always rushing in to save the day.

  Me: The conversation I just had with her changed things. We HAVE to trust her. We just have to. She knows what she’s doing, this isn’t a frivolous decision. This thing, whatever it is, is her responsibility. Do you understand? She doesn’t want to do this, but for whatever reason, she doesn’t have a choice and she’s fucking terrified but she’s doing it anyway because adults have to do things they don’t like. Her words. I believe the best thing we can do right now is just BE THERE for her and not make this any harder.

  Luka: SHE COULD DIE

  Me: Yeah, but she could also live. And if you make it more difficult than it already is for her, you won’t be in her life afterward, I can guarantee it.

  Tai: It’s possible that adding stress and anxiety about what we’ll do or say or how we’ll interfere might make it MORE likely that things will go wrong.

  Spider: Exactly. There are so many reasons not to try to force this issue, and only selfish ones to try to stop her.

  Sev: It’s not selfish to want her alive

  Me: It’s her choice to make, not yours and not mine. And I can’t stress enough that she isn’t doing something that she WANTS to do, I really believe it’s something she feels she NEEDS to do. We have to respect that.

  Tai: She’s just a kid though.

  Me: No, she’s not. You see it too, I know you do. We can’t make this harder on her.

  Luka: I can see why they fucking made you a teacher. I promise, too.

  Sev: I won’t do anything to interfere, but want to talk to her. If she doesn’t want to talk, I’ll try to respect that.