The second I see her, my heart begins to ache, yet I’m so happy she’s here. She made it before dad passed, immediately I feel a tiny bit of relief swirl within me, and I shoot up off the bed and run over to embrace her.
When we hug, we begin to cry in each other’s arms, but after a few minutes of holding on to one another, Courtney pulls back and looks over in dad’s direction.
“He doesn’t even look like Dad anymore,” she whispers. “He’s so skinny and frail-looking. I’ve never seen him helpless before. I’m so scared, Cassie,” she cries.
“I know, Court. So am I,” I coo.
Courtney drops her arms from around me, walks over to our father, takes the seat closest to the bed, and places his hand in hers. A moment later, dad’s brother, Will, walks into the room and the moment I see him, I race over and into his waiting arms. “What are you doing here?” I cry.
His grasp on me is strong. I feel so overwhelmed by the support of my family. I should’ve known Will would come. “I couldn’t bear the thought of you girls here going through this. I knew you had a strong support team already in place, but I felt I needed to be here, too. To keep my mind at ease, I hopped on the flight with Courtney.”
Courtney turns to face us. “Mum wasn’t going to let me come, at all. So I called Uncle Will and filled him in about what that bitch of a woman was doing, and within a half-hour, he and Gabby arrived at the house to pick me up. I didn’t say one word to mum on my way out the door,” Courtney explains while shrugging her shoulders.
“Good on you.” I then look up at Will. “Where is Aunt Gabby, did she come with you?” I ask.
“She’ll be here soon, love,” he assures me. “I wanted to come straight from the airport, but Gabs was desperate for a shower. I think Carol will be bringing her over shortly.”
“It’ll be nice to have her here.” I then look around the room and see Tristan quietly sitting on the guest bed, and that is when it hits me. “Oh my God, I am so fucking rude.” I walk over and take Tristan’s hand in mine and pull him up so until he's standing. I then turn to Will. “Uncle Will, this is Tristan. Tristan, my Uncle, Will.” He reaches across to shake Will’s hand.
“It’s good to meet you, son. I have heard nothing but good things. Thank you for taking care of Cassie for us. It was a relief to know she had another person here she could lean on.” Will smile's and it meets his eyes, telling me he's being genuine. I don’t think he’d be insincere, especially at a time like this, but to me, it’s important I have my uncle’s blessing. Will’s opinion means a lot to me. I respect Will just as much as I do my dad.
They part hands but don’t move away from one another. “It’s been nice to get to know her. I’d do anything for Cassie.” Tristan says as he drapes his arm across my shoulders.
Will nods in acceptance. “That’s very good to hear. I don’t know if you’ll remember, but we did meet four years ago when I last visited Carol and George.”
I watch Tristan intently. I know from our long talks that Tristan wasn’t the same person he is now. He was drinking heavily, smoking weed, and banging random whores. I also know that he’s ashamed of his past. I find it hard to believe he was ever that person. The Tristan I know is selfless, loving, and husband material.
Tristan’s eyes close for longer than if he were just blinking. My heart is aching for him. I give his hand a gentle squeeze desperately hoping he understands the meaning behind it. “I want to be straight with you,” he begins.
“Okay.” Will waits, patiently.
Tristan takes a deep breath. “I don’t remember meeting you, and that alone to me is embarrassing. Four years ago, I was so fucked up. I was acting like a spoilt brat, and I wasted a good few years being a drunken jerk. I can assure you I am not that person anymore, and I never will be again. I love, Cassie, and I’ll do everything in my power to protect her and keep her happy.” I want to press my lips to his and tell him how much I love him, but I know I'd get carried away, something I don’t want to do in front of my uncle's and sister.
When I look at Will, my heart grows two sizes. He has a smile on his face, one that's genuine, and he rests his hand on Tristan’s shoulder. “We all have a past, son. I’m pleased to know how much you care for my niece. In the time you’ve been dating Cassie, Patrick’s had nothing but kind words to say about you.”
Tristan’s shoulders slump with relief. “Thank you, sir. That does make me feel more relaxed.” I reach up on my tippy toes and kiss Tristan on the cheek. I'd assured him he had nothing to worry about, but I guess he had to hear it for himself.
Courtney comes up beside us and goes straight in for the hug. ‘Fuck, I am so fucking rude,’ I think.
“Hi, Tristan. I’m Courtney. It's so nice to finally meet you.” I notice she holds onto him a little longer than she would normally hug a semi-stranger for. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not jealous. It’s more the fact that Court already feels comfortable with him, and I like it.
I can see him hug her back with care. “It’s good to meet you, too.” While walking over to dad’s side, she catches my gaze, winks, and I smile in return. It is so fucking good to see her.
We all take seats around the room and quietly talk until Courtney starts yelling, “His eyes are open!” All of us hop up and race to his side.
I lean over him. Yes, his eyes are open, but it doesn’t look as if he is in there. He’s vacant, just as Mark was when he had the heart attack. “Dad, can you hear me?”
“Yes, love,” his voice a mere whisper.
I cup the side of his face in my hand. “Courtney’s here too, Dad.”
She leans in so that he can see her. “Hey, Princess. It’s so good to see you," his voice is so low, and he attempts a smile, but it looks as if even that small action is too painful for him.
“It’s good to see you, too.” I can hear she's already crying. “Uncle Will is here also.” She points in his direction.
“Hey, Patrick. Looking good as always, you sexy beast,” he chuckles.
“Sexy is just something you’re born with,” Dad whispers, and we laugh. “Court, Cassie.”
“Yeah, Dad?” we say in unison.
“You both need to take care of each other. Cassie?”
I take a seat at his side, and my hand is now in his. "Yeah, dad?"
He closes his eyes for a very long moment. “Keep Courtney safe.”
Furiously, I nod my head. “I will, Dad. I promise.”
He blinks in a way of recognition. “Courtney.”
“Yes, Dad?”
He tries his hardest to swallow. “Dad, do you need some water?” I ask. He nods his head.
I go to jump up, but before I do, Tristan places his hands on my shoulders. “George is getting it,” he whispers.
“Courtney, I want you to live your life for you and not your mother,” Dad says flatly.
“I will, Dad. I will make you proud. We’ll both make you proud.” She cries.
“Good, I know you will.” He lifts his head a little. “Will,” he calls. Uncle Will comes forward at the mention of his name. “Yes, Pat?”
My eyes close, it's now becoming apparent that Dad knows there’s no time left, and I let the tears fall. I can’t hold them back a moment longer. When I become overwhelmed, I turn and reach for Tristan, he takes me in his arms but doesn’t say a word. He knows I’m trying to listen to my father as he speaks to Will.
“Could you keep an eye out for my girls?”
Tristan’s grip on me tightens when my sobs continue. I don’t know what the fuck I would do if he wasn’t here to be my protector.
“Of course, I will. That goes without saying, little brother.” Will answers.
“Thank you.”
“Courtney and Cassie.” I open my eyes and turn to face him, but I can barely see him through my blurry vision. “Don’t you ever forget how much I love you,” he has a small smile.
“We won’t Dad,” we say in unison.
Suddenly, the machines start goi
ng crazy, and I see that dad has closed his eyes again. The moment the nurses and doctors come running into the room, it dawns on me what is happening.
“No, no, no, Dad, don’t leave me!” I begin screaming until my lungs begin to burn. I shove him with my hands begging him to stay with me, and that’s when I feel hands on my shoulders, but I can’t see anything through the tears flooding my eyes. I shove the hands off of me and kneel on the bed begging. I can finally see, and it’s Nurse Hottie that’s in front of me, blocking my view. “I’m sorry,” is all she says to me empathetically.
I jump off the bed, sink into Tristan’s waiting arms, and I cry. I cry harder than I have ever cried before. My head is pounding from the sobs, and I can’t even attempt to open my eyes, so I don’t. I slump onto the spare bed and let Tristan hold me in his tender and loving embrace. “It’s okay. I’m here for you,” I hear him whisper. I bury my head into his chest and continue to cry. I don’t know how long I sit in place sobbing, but I don’t come out of it until I hear one of the doctors pronounce my father's death.
I look across the room and see Courtney is hugging Uncle Will. As soon as the nurses and physicians have moved away from my father, I sit down on the bed next to my dad and take his still warm hand in mine. I don’t say anything because what's the fucking point of saying anything? He’s dead.
After some time, Courtney sits on the other side, next to dad, and I take her hand in mine. “We will be okay,” I tell her, and she nods her head without looking away from his peaceful face. He looks calm, maybe even happy. There’s no pain anymore. Which is exactly what he wanted, and deserved.
Eventually, we’re asked to leave the room. George had contacted a funeral home, and they arrived at the hospital to take my father away. Before I leave, I lean in and kiss my dad’s cheek one last time before taking Courtney in my arms. We walk out of the room and away from my father. Forever.
Chapter Twelve
When I wake, I quietly head downstairs, careful not to disturb any of my family. It's been a rough couple of days. Well, it was until they delivered my father’s body to the house last night. In parts of Ireland, it's still traditional to have a party with the dead. This enables the departed to begin the final journey with their grieving loved ones, and it seemed appropriate for Dad.
Slowly, I walk over to the coffin that rests in the middle of the downstairs living area and run my hand across the top until I feel cold metal underneath my fingers. I take a look and see that a silver engraved plaque has been added. I look closer to see what it says.
Patrick O’Grady. My mobile number is 04378139783; you may have a better chance of me answering it now.
I can’t help but laugh, and it is a good laugh, the type that has you snorting. Only my father would have thought to have something like that written on his coffin. God forbid what he'd have written on his headstone if he were to have one, however, he’s being cremated as per his wishes, so no plaque for him. He’s going to be stuck on my mantle for the rest of my days.
Slowly, I open the lid to the casket and say good morning to him. He looks so peaceful now that he's in no pain. I gaze at him for a few moments, and then I close the lid. I feel a panic within me when lowering the top, my brain keeps screaming that he’ll suffocate and that he still needs oxygen to breathe, but in the end, the sensible part of me takes over, and I continue to close the lid.
I turn when I hear footsteps behind me. It’s Tristan, he takes my hand and kisses me. “Hey, baby girl. I woke up, and you weren’t in bed. I had a feeling you'd be down here. How are you feeling this morning?”
“I’m okay. I did manage to fall asleep, which was a nice change. I’m sure I’ll sleep peacefully once the funeral is over and done with.” I glimpse back to the coffin and smile before I turn back to Tristan and lean in for a hug, resting my chin on his chest so I can look up at him. “I love you so much. I don’t know what I would’ve done if you hadn’t been at my side.” I stand back and eye him. “What would you say if I asked you to come up to bed and make love to me?”
His face lights up. With everything that's been going on with dad, I haven’t taken any time out to make Tristan feel loved or wanted. He’s put up with a whole lot of shit from me, and he more than deserves a little loving. “Only an idiot would say no,” he whispers.
The minute we are in the room, I press my lips to his, and while I do, I reach down and take the hem of his shirt in my hands. I break the kiss long enough to pull it over his head and drop it to the ground. While moving to the bed, Tristan expertly strips off my clothes. For now, I just want to kiss him. I want him to feel my love for him, but he pulls away too soon. I want his lips on mine again, but I can see in his eyes that he has something on his mind. “What is it?” I ask, my breathing erratic.
He doesn’t even blink. “Will you be my wife?”
Without even having to think, I tell him, “Yes.”
“Yes?” his eyes are full of hope.
“Yes.” I smile. I cup his face in my hands and press my lips back to his. Honestly, I have not an ounce of doubt in my mind. He is it for me. I need him like I need air.
After making love, I lie back, wrapped up in his safe and warm arms. “I love you so fucking much,” I tell him.
His grip on me tightens just a fraction. “I love you, too. You know, I did ask your dad’s permission to propose to you while he was still here at the house.”
I look up at him trying to hold back the tears. Knowing that my father knew Tristan was going to propose to me, warms my heart. “So he knew, and he didn’t say anything to me?”
Tristan chuckles. “Of course, he didn’t. He wanted you to be surprised when I asked. I told him I wasn’t planning on anything big because I know that you’re not into that. I explained to him that I would ask when it felt right.”
I kiss him again. “The timing was perfect. I love you more than you could ever know, baby. I wouldn’t have been able to get through the last few months without you picking me up when I felt beaten down.” The absolute truth. Tristan is the rock I’ve needed. The one who tells me everything is going to be okay. He never gives me empty promises just to cheer me up. He tells me how it is, but at the same time, assures me he will be standing by my side so I'm not alone.
“That’s what I’m here for.” He lifts my head so he can reach over to open the top drawer of the bedside table. I see him pull out what looks like a Tiffany & Co. box and he asks me to sit up.
While keeping the covers wrapped around my chest, I sit up. When he opens the box, my mouth drops open, and I look up at him with surprise. “Who told you that I like black diamonds, was it my dad?” I ask.
He shakes his head as he takes the ring out of the box. “No one. I saw it, and I immediately thought of you. Here, hold out your hand.” I hold it out for him, and I notice that I’m shaking, he spots it too and laughs as he slides the ring onto my finger.
“It’s the most beautiful ring I've ever seen,” I tell him in awe. My eyes fill with tears, and I hold my hand out and stare at it from all angles. ‘How the fuck did I get so lucky?’ I ask myself. Again.
“I knew you’d love it. It screamed Cassie to me the moment I saw it. My mother told me it was three carats, and apparently, that means something to you girls.” He takes my hand and has a closer look at the ring. I see nothing but pride in his features, and he should be proud, because he did good, really freaking good. I am, however, shocked by the fact that it’s a three-carat diamond. I can see it’s huge, but not three fucking carats huge! I’m going to need a security detail to follow me wherever I go. Things like this don’t happen to people like me, to people that come from struggling backgrounds. It’ll take some time before I’m accustomed to my new way of life, but I’ll still be me. I’ll still be the girl that wears Trailer Park and The It Crow T-shirts. I just hope Tristan’s okay with it. I can’t change me, and I don’t want to.
“That must have set you back a fortune,” I whisper.
“The last th
ing you need to be worrying about is money. That is something you will never need to stress over ever again. Do you remember what I told you when we were away for the weekend?” he asks, looking at me with what I can only decipher as concern.
My brain’s not working to its fullest potential right now. I’m still on a high from the amazing sex we just had, and the fact that there is now a huge rock on my finger. “I’m sorry, babe. Remind me?” He then leans his face close to mine, so I reach up and cradle it softly in my hands, and kiss him. “Our life, our love, our forever,” he whispers, and I weaken at the meaning behind it. He is my all. He is my everything. I lean in and kiss him again for a long ass time.
As we come back up for air, he says to me, breathless, “Do you want to go and tell your dad the big news before everyone arrives for the service?”
“You see,” I point my finger at his chest, “right there is why I will love you for the rest of my life.” I kiss him again. “Who else would suggest I go and talk to my dead father, just so that I can tell him some news?”
“Dead or alive, your father will always remain a huge part of your life. Now, go and tell him. I know you are desperate to share the news with him,” he says as he kisses my naked shoulder.
“Thank you. I’ll be right back,” I kiss him one last time, hop out of bed, throw my dressing gown on and head to the door. “I’ll only be a few minutes,” I tell him as I turn the knob.
“Take your time.” He smiles.
I bolt down the stairs, careful not to trip on the length of my robe and when I walk into the living area, I spot Uncle Will, as he lowers the lid of the coffin. He soon looks up and spots me. “Hi Cassie, how are you this morning, my love?”
“Better, much better.” And I know I'm speaking the truth. Now that my father isn’t in pain, I feel a sense of relief. “Strange request, but would you mind if I had a minute alone with Dad?” I cringe as I point toward the coffin. I don’t need any of my family members thinking I’m any more fucked in the head than I already am, but at the same time, I know my family is all just a little crazy, too. Which makes me love them all the more.
The Beginning Page 20
