The Beginning

by Teigen Harper

  He shakes his head just a fraction. “Not a strange request at all.” He kisses my forehead and leaves the room. I close the door behind him, walk over to the coffin and lift the lid.

  I grin when I see his beautiful face. “So, Dad. You couldn’t even hint to me that Tristan was going to propose?” I ask as I stare down at him.

  “No, love. I couldn’t.”

  I jump back, both startled and scared. Was that my dad’s voice or is my mind playing horrible tricks on me? I glance around the room, but I don’t notice anything out of place. There's no smart-ass fucker trying to play a cruel trick on me that I can see, so I take in a deep breath. “It’s official. I’ve gone insane,” I tell myself aloud.

  “No love, you haven’t. I’m coming out now, so don’t scream or the others will come running in here and have you committed,” the voice chuckles. Fuck, it must be him.

  I brace myself against the wall, still searching the room. “Dad, is that really you? Because if you’ve faked this whole thing, I will fucking kill you. And that is a promise, not a threat,” I say as I continue to search the room.

  My stomach churns as he appears in the far corner. “Yes, love.”

  My eyes are wide, my lungs empty. “Oh my, God. How can this be? How is it that I can see and talk to you?” I clasp onto the first thing my hands can find. My grip is tight, so tight that my knuckles are aching and white in color.

  “I don’t know.” Ghost Dad shrugs. “But so far, you are the only one that’s responded to me. No one else has been able to see, or hear me.”

  Still in a state of shock, I ask, “Am I able to hug you, or will I walk right through you like Demi Moore with Patrick Swayze in Ghost?”

  Dad simply shrugs. “I don’t know the answer to that yet, and I guess there's no harm in trying.”

  I walk over to him, and I reach out with my hand first. I can feel the fabric of his shirt, the shirt we had the funeral parlor put on him because it was his favorite. Forever on, he will be creeping around wearing a T-shirt that says, ‘Trust me, I’m a doctor.’

  I reach up with my other hand, wrap my arms around him, and I begin to cry. “I’ve missed you so much, dad,” I blubber. My grip on him is extremely tight as if I am subconsciously making sure he can’t leave me again.

  He pats my head. “How the fuck could you have missed me, Cassie? I’ve been watching you for two days now, and all you’ve done is come in here and cry. You haven’t been away from me long enough to miss me.” He smirks. “I’ve wanted to appear and smack you across the back of the head and tell you that you need to move on.” He’s all-out laughing now. Laughing at me, and I love it.

  I pull away from him enough to be able to stare at his face. The beautiful face I remember and love. “Funny,” I say sarcastically. “What’s it like? Are you in any pain?”

  He shakes his head. “Nope, I don’t feel pain anymore. Dead or not, I feel fantastic. I swear, if I had to suffer for another twelve months with that cancer shit, I know for a fact I would have found a way to kill myself.”

  “It’s nice to see you smile again. Do you think I'll be able to see you again in this form? Because if I can’t, I promise you I will never leave this room, ever again.” Even though he didn’t live with us or even close to us when he was still alive, meant nothing to me.

  If there were ever any problems or issues in my life, Dad was always the first call I made. He was always the voice of reason, especially since I could never count on my mother.

  “Since you can touch me, I’d say the safest bet would be, yes. Yes, you’ll be able to see me again. Now, go upstairs and see that fiancé of yours. He is a keeper, my girl. He has so much love for you.” Dad’s face beams with pride. “Now you need to get your ass upstairs and get dressed. It wouldn’t bother me if you showed up for my funeral in your bathrobe, but the other guests may frown upon it.” He laughs.

  There is a knock at the door which makes me jump. “Cassie, are you okay in there?” I hear Uncle Will call through the door.

  I grin to myself. “Yes, Will. I’ll be out in a second,” I call. I look back up at my dad. “I’d better get out there, or they’ll come in.” I wrap my arms around him once more. “Come and see me again?” I ask, hopeful.

  “Of course, I will, my love.” He squeezes me one last time then steps away. My jaw hangs agape as I watch him fade to nothing. “Fascinating,” I mumble. I shake away the creepy feeling that now consumes me and I turn to open the double doors. When I do, I’m a little shocked to see that everyone is standing outside the door, staring at me. “Did I miss something?” I ask puzzled.

  Will is the first to speak. “There was a lot of laughing going on in there.” He points towards my father’s coffin. “And considering you haven’t really laughed since your dad’s passing, we were growing a little concerned for you.” Jesus, they're all giving me the dreaded head tilt, and their eyes are sad and worried for me.

  “I’m fine, honestly. But by the looks on your faces, you may want to check me into a clinic and have psychiatrists administer a drug test on me.” I smile as I make my way over to Tristan and take his hand in mine. “I had some excellent news to share with Dad, and I must have gotten carried away, is all.” I look back up and give Tristan a quick kiss.

  Courtney steps forward. “So, what's the good news?” I can see she’s dying to know what it is I have to tell her. I’m surprised she hasn’t spotted the small planet that is now orbiting my ring finger.

  I look up at Tristan. “You tell them,” I prod.

  “Okay.” He kisses me and then turns his attention to the family members who are eagerly awaiting the announcement. “I asked Cassie to marry me, and she said yes.” His grip on my hip tightens, and he pulls me closer to him.

  The smiles that are on their faces fill me with confidence. Carol comes to hug me first. “Congratulations, my dear girl, such beautiful news.” While still in her arms, she whispers, “You deserve nothing but happiness.”

  “Thank you. He couldn’t have picked a better time if he tried,” I whisper in return.

  Courtney comes over next, and I can see she has tears in her eyes, so I take her in my arms. “What’s the matter, Court?” I ask. I squeeze her in my arms. I'd give absolutely anything to make Courtney feel whole again. I know her relationship with Dad was strained, but he was her father. I need her to be guilt-free for not coming sooner than she did, and for not believing dad when he told her what our mother was truly like as a person. How was she to know at such a young age?

  I know Courtney better than anyone else does, and I know that she will begin to blame herself. “I’m so happy for you, but also so sad for Dad. I can’t figure out which emotion I’m supposed to run with when people get here.” I hug her tighter.

  “Express how you truly feel, not what you think other people expect you to feel and act, okay?” She nods her head. “Just remember that they’re not the ones who just watched their father die. They didn’t see him suffer, and they didn’t know him as well as you did.” I pull back and wipe her tears away. “Now, shall we all head upstairs and get ready for the funeral? People will be arriving soon,” I say to the room, and they all agree in return.

  As I begin to walk up the stairs, suddenly, I come to a halt and realize I don’t have anything to wear. “Shit.” I can’t believe I'd been so selfish the last two days. All I wanted to do after coming home from the hospital was sleep, and so I did, a lot.

  Tristan stops by my side and turns to me. “What’s the matter, baby girl?”

  ‘I am so fucking stupid,’ I think. I look up at him. “I have absolutely nothing to wear. I didn’t think to go shopping for a presentable outfit for my dad’s funeral.”

  He leans in and wraps me up in his arms, his lips close to my earlobe. “Don’t sweat it. My mum’s already up in our room, and has some outfits for you to choose from.”

  “What?” I cannot believe what he's telling me. His wonderful

  mother somehow knew I wouldn’t be pr
epared, and she took it upon herself to organize clothing for me.

  He places his hand on the small of my back guiding me up the stairs. “Come on, let’s go up and find something for you to wear,” he says as he brushes his lips across mine. When he pulls away, I follow Tristan up to our bedroom where he opens the door for me, and when I enter, I am in utter shock.

  Karan’s in the corner of the room laying jewelry out on the dresser, and my room is lined with racks of clothing. I just want to break down and cry because I’m not used to so much generosity.

  “Hi, Karan,” I say in a quiet voice, desperately trying to swallow the lump that’s formed in my throat. I’ve always seen Karan as being a stylish woman, and today, she looks stunning. She’s wearing a yellow knee-length, figure-hugging dress, with matching pumps along with large gold hoop earrings and a beautiful yellow gold Belcher necklace with a matching bracelet.

  She turns ninety degrees until she's facing me. “Hello, Cassie,” she greets as she starts to walk towards me and I hold my arms out to hug her.

  “How did you know I didn’t have anything to wear?” I ask her, my voice no higher than a whisper.

  “I had the same problem when my father passed away. What you’re going to wear to a funeral isn’t on top of the priority list. I pulled Tristan aside yesterday and asked him if you’d been shopping. When he said no, I had him go through your closet and find out your dress size. And I had him do the same for Courtney.”

  The damn tears are again welling in the corners of my eyes, and before I can try to wipe at them, they're falling down my cheeks. “This would have to be one of the most thoughtful things anyone has ever done for me. Thank you.”

  She pulls me in for another hug. “Cassie.”

  I clear my throat before answering, “Yeah, Karan?”

  “Congratulations on the engagement.” She then pulls back, her hands now square on my shoulders, her eyes on mine.

  My tears are now joined with a bright smile. “Thank you. Is it okay if I ask you something?”

  “Of course, what is it?”

  “Are you and Brendan okay with us being engaged so soon? We haven’t been together all that long. I know we’re ready and that I’ll never love anyone as much as Tristan, but I’m worried about what it may look like from your perspective.” I know I’m cringing. Back in Australia, getting married at this age or even thinking about getting married, is considered ridiculous. I have no clue how it is perceived here in Ireland.

  She chuckles, and I’m taken back by her reaction. “My son did tell you the kind of person he was before he met you, didn’t he?” Her eyes move between where Tristan is standing behind me and back to me.

  I nod. “Yes, he told me everything.”

  “Good. I’ve seen a huge change in him since meeting you, and I like it. I know in my heart that if he didn’t truly love you, he never would have asked you to marry him. My son isn’t the type of person who’d do something so important just because he can. He loves you with all of his heart, and so do his father, and I. Tristan came to us and asked our opinion, and we told him we were thrilled with his decision. We love you, Cassie, and we always will.” She presses her hands to my cheeks. “If you ever need anything, do not ever hesitate to come to us. We are your family now.” I see the tears in her eyes, and they're about to spill over.

  I feel a weight lift from my chest. I hadn’t realized how important it was to me that Brendan and Karan were on board with our decision. I didn’t want to be that wife who was hated by her in-laws. I’d seen it happen with my mother, but I never felt sorry for her. I knew the reason why my grandparents never got along with her. If she hadn’t been so selfish, I know they would have warmed to her.

  “I’m so glad both you and Brendan are happy with our news. It means the world to me.”

  “Did you think we wouldn’t be?” Karan is looking at me as if I am out of my freaking mind.

  Now I’m questioning if I am of sound mind and body. Hell, my dead father just appeared and spoke to me. Maybe I do have some mental issues that need to be dealt with? “I was worried you'd think we were both too young to even be thinking about marriage,” I explain.

  She leans down and picks up a huge pair of gold hoops and holds them up close to my ears. “If he’d proposed to any one of his ex-girlfriends, trust me, I wouldn’t have been happy at all. I can’t begin to tell you how skanky they were.” She shakes her head with exasperation. “But seeing the two of you together over the last few months tells us what we'd already guessed.” She pauses for a moment, then continues. “I haven’t seen a love like yours since I met Brendan. Even to this day, I still get butterflies in my stomach when he walks in the front door from work.” I swear to god she is swooning. “We’ve never been parted for long. The two of you were destined to find each other. I can, without fail, tell you when someone will be divorced before they have even married. So far, I haven’t been proven wrong, and I see that the two of you will be together until parted by death.” Karan then drops the jewelry onto the table and hugs me.

  “That’s so sweet. I already see the rumors that will be making the rounds back home. People will think I’m pregnant and having a shotgun wedding!” I roll my eyes at the thought because I know it’s true. Plus, the source of the gossip will come from my bitter mother’s mouth when she finds out I'm going to be married and that she won’t be invited.

  “I say fuck the lot of them,” she says, and I'm taken back a little as I’ve never heard Karan swear before now. “If there are people who can’t be happy for you, then you’ll know that they’re not worth having in your life.”

  Still a little stunned, I say, “That is an excellent point. We don’t need any negativity in our lives whatsoever. After the last few months of dealing with Dad’s illness, I don’t need any more bullshit.” I shake my head.

  Again, she places her hands squarely on my shoulders, her eyes staring into mine. “You are a good woman, Cassie, and you’ve been through a hell of a lot in the past few months. If anyone does cause any problems, then you come and tell Brendan or me, and we will deal with them directly, okay?”

  “Okay.” I nod. “Thank you.”

  “No problem, my love.”

  “Honestly, I can’t wait for the next chapter. I know it will be a lot better than the one I'm about to close. I’m in no hurry for children, but I know that when the time comes, it will be amazing.” I can’t help but smile at the thought.

  Karan’s smile matches my own. “I felt the same way before having Tristan. I wanted to have many children, but unfortunately, it just wasn’t meant to be.” I see her take a deep cleansing breath while the pain runs through her features.

  She almost looks lost. I don’t know if asking the question will lead to heartache, but my mouth doesn’t wait for my brain’s decision. “Can I ask what happened? Only if you can answer. I mean, if it’s still too painful, I’ll completely understand if you can’t,” I assure her.

  “No, my dear girl, it’s okay. Unfortunately, there were complications during Tristan’s birth. I began to hemorrhage, and I had to have an emergency hysterectomy. Once I was out of surgery and had discovered what had happened, I was devastated. The only thing that kept me from wallowing in self-pity was the moment they bought this one in to see me,” she says, pointing at Tristan who comes forward and drapes his arm around me. “This boy is the reason I am still here today.” She smiles, but I can see the pain she's still carrying with her.

  I don’t know if I want more than one child, but I sure as hell know I don’t want the decision to be made for me. “I’m so sorry, Karan. It’s always the people that deserve children that are punished. Then you have the people that sure as shit should never have kids pop out twenty babies. They don’t realize what a privilege it is to have those children.” The area I lived in with my mother, was crawling with families who couldn’t afford to have children in the first place. I never understood why it happened. Sure, I realized that they were given money from the
government, but that money isn’t enough to buy the kids the things they want. My mother was a perfect example. The money she was given to care for myself and Court, was spent on her. She never bought Courtney or me the things that were in fashion at the time, or the toys everyone else had. Something we were teased for by our peers.

  Staring at Karan, I can see tears forming in her eyes. “I know what you mean. I’ve seen it happen again and again. The newspapers are continuously filled with articles that show case upon case of violence against children.” She stops to take a breath and slowly exhales. “Okay, let’s change the subject. I’m going to go and get changed, and I suggest you start looking through these outfits and try to find something you like."

  After trying on a few different pieces, finally, I decide to wear a lilac, knee-length dress. When Karan comes back in, she finds the perfect pairing of diamond earrings, a matching necklace, and a bracelet to finish off the look. Before his passing, I'd promised my dad I wouldn’t wear black to his funeral.

  Black was not who he was, my father was a bright light in many people’s lives. When you felt like things couldn’t get any worse, my father would come in and lighten the mood with, on most occasions, inappropriate humor. It always worked.

  While sitting on the bed waiting for Tristan to get changed in the bathroom, there’s a knock at the door. “Come in,” I call out. The door opens, Courtney walks in, and she looks stunning. She has on a deep purple sheer, blouse, and tailored black pants with matching black pumps. I’m okay with the black pants because the blouse is so bright and cheerful. “You look beautiful,” I say as I stand and take her in.

  “You look so grown up,” Karan says to her, beaming as a proud mother would. I love that about her. She’s shown to me over the last week that she also considers Courtney to be part of her family, and this tells me I have the best mother-in-law any girl could only ever dream of.