The Beginning

by Teigen Harper

  As soon as we are met by an attendant, we're seated in a very quiet section up the back of the restaurant. I order two bourbon and cokes and shift my attention back to Haim. “So, how is Courtney coping with everything, so far?”

  I play with my engagement ring as I search my brain for the right answer. “She’s been such a trooper. Of course, she has days where there’s nothing I can do to cheer her up, but fuck, what can you do? She needs to be able to grieve in her own way and in her own time. But unfortunately, at the moment, there are other things that we need to focus on.”

  Moments later, the waitress returns with our drinks and takes our dinner orders. When she leaves us again, Haim sets his attention back to me. “Do you mean the court case?”

  I furrow my brow, confused by the fact that Hamish knows what’s going on and I haven’t said a word to him about it. “How the fuck did you find out?”

  “Your mum told Mitchell, Mitchell told me.” He shrugs.

  What a bitch. My mother tells everyone everything because she’s an attention whore. Fuck that, I hope to hell I get to keep Courtney, I don’t think she'd cope being back under our mother’s roof. “Of course, she did. She gossips about court cases, but not about the fact that her ex-husband, the father of her children, is dead.” I pause and calm myself before continuing. “Anyway, what the hell were they doing talking to each other, anyway? That’s just creepy in my books, at least, I know whose side she’s taken. Not that I’m surprised.”

  The bastard laughs. “I’ll bet that they have a secret club called ‘Cassie, is a fucking bitch.’”

  He continues to laugh, so I kick him under the table. “Ouch,” he grabs his leg, “What the fuck was that for?”

  Now, it's my turn to chuckle. “You know you deserved it.”

  “No, I didn’t. I’m not the one that has a secret ‘I hate Cassie club.” He straightens and takes a long sip of his drink.

  “Anyway,” I continue, “I haven’t seen or spoken to you in forever. What’s new, how are thing’s going in Hamish’s world?”

  He leans across the table again and takes my hand in his. “We’re not here to talk about me, Cass. What happened with your Dad? The last I heard he was meant to at least live another nine months from now.” I can see he’s sad. Hamish loved my dad when we were growing up. To my friends, he was the man to go to with your problems when you thought your parents would be upset with you.

  I let out a long breath, and prepare myself for the emotions that will without a doubt, come to the surface. “Cancer spread to his bones, and it was aggressive. Dad began to go downhill the moment we hit Cairo. I was so frustrated for him, but he pressed on. As soon as we landed in Ireland, I noticed a change in him. He was happy to be home.” Hamish squeezes my hand in a show of support. “He never had any energy, but he still had his sense of humor. Thank god, because if he lost that, I would’ve had a complete breakdown early on. It wasn’t long before he was consumed by the C-word. He began staying in his room for days at a time. My uncle and aunt hired a nurse to care for him, to be there to administer his pain relief when he needed it, but in the end, he had to be taken to the hospital. My uncle George had arranged for Courtney to jump on a flight, Will and Gabby traveled with her so she wouldn’t be alone. Luckily for us, dad had been waiting for Court to arrive. He got to see her.” I reach up and wipe away my tears. “He got to tell her he loved her, he got to see and know that she had wanted to be by his side, despite what that bitch of a mother had tried to do to her. She fucked up when she tried to use parental alienation. It had the opposite effect. I’m glad it did. I don’t wish harm on her, not at all. I just don’t want her having anything to do with us. And now we are going to court, and I hope to hell we win.” I take my glass and drain it. Right now, I don’t think there is enough alcohol in the world that could ease my apprehension.

  He closes his eyes and slowly shakes his head. “Shit, I wish you’d called, Cass. I would have tried to help in some way. He was a good man, your dad. He’ll be sorely missed.” He takes my other hand, then all of a sudden, he pulls it up to his face while yanking me over the table.

  “What the hell are you doing?” I ask as I almost knock his drink over.

  He lifts my hand so my engagement ring is on display for the world to see. “Um, is there something else you were meant to mention to me, but didn’t?” He gives me a questioning sideways glance.

  In return, I give him the most innocent smile I can muster. “Yeah, about that. I was hoping to ease into it.” I cringe. I want to tell Haim everything, and I know he’ll support me, but at the same time, I don’t want him to feel he has to hide information from Mitchell. Before I can begin telling him about my future husband, the waitress approaches with our meals. “The lobster tortellini,” she asks.

  “That’s mine,” Hamish tells the girl, and she places his meal down in front of him.

  “That makes the Fettuccini Carbonara yours.” When she places my bowl on the table, I thank her, and she leaves.

  Before I even take a bite, I smother my pasta with Parmesan and salt. I didn’t realize how hungry I was until I smelled the cream, cheese, and bacon, but as I go to take a bite, Hamish stabs my fork with his so I can’t put it in my mouth. “What the hell are you doing, asshole? I’m starving,” I whine like a little child.

  He shakes his head. “You don’t get to take a single bite until you tell me who the hell you’re marrying.” He keeps his fork in place, stopping me from eating. “Well, who is he, what does he do, where does he live, is he better than Mitchell? What am I saying, of course, he’s better than Mitchell, hell, Charlie Manson would make a better boyfriend than Mitchell ever could.”

  I throw my head back in laughter because it’s true. “Okay, okay,” I surrender. “His name’s Tristan. He’s in line to take over his father’s company, he’s a fucking millionaire, and he lives in Ireland, but he wants to come out here and see how he likes it down-under. I told him I’m happy anywhere he wants to be, but I think he wants me to continue to live in my dad’s house, at least, for a while. He wants Courtney and me to work through our loss before we make any further life decisions.”

  He plays with his chin as if he is contemplating what to ask me next. “Fair enough.” He nods. “He sounds like a decent guy. Have you met the family yet? And if you have, do you like them, and do they like you?”

  I manage to sneak a cheeky bite of my food, then continue to give him the answers he seeks. “Yes, I’ve met them, and they are the most beautiful people you could ever come across. They’re happy and supportive of our decisions. They trust us to do the right thing. According to his mother, Karan, Tristan and I hung out while I was visiting Ireland when I was six. Both his mother and father grew up with my Dad. They were close friends even after my family moved out to Australia. They are amazing people, Hamish. You’d love them.” I then manage to sneak in another bite.

  “Tristan sounds pretty damn awesome, Cass.” Haim then pops a piece of tortellini in his mouth.

  I nod in agreement. “He is. So, enough about me, how are you? What’s been happening with you?” I ask while taking a sip of water. I didn’t want to ruin the taste of my Carbonara by drinking bourbon.

  In between huge mouthfuls of food, he answers, “You know what I’m like, nothing ever changes with me. I still work the night shift at the supermarket, and I still play my childish video games. Oh,” he looks up from his food, his facial expression tells me that he is hiding something juicy. So I put my fork down, grab my water and wait for him to tell me his gossip. “I do have a girlfriend now.” He shrugs, and I almost drop my glass, but I quickly recover and stand it up again.

  I try to stay calm, but I end up blurting, “Bullshit!” at the top of my lungs. I clasp my hand over my mouth, embarrassed, I take a quick look around the room, and there are many eyes focused on me. I raise my hand in apology, then turn my attention back to Hamish.

  He shakes his head nonchalantly, but I see his smile. “No bullshit, she
really does exist.” He goes to place another forkful of pasta into his mouth, I intercept it and lower his hand, my eyes boring into his.

  I would love to yell at him, but who the hell am I to demand an explanation? Fuck, I hadn’t even told him that my dad had died. But, if I didn’t give him a hard time about it, he would think there was something wrong with me. “Here you were giving me a lecture and twenty questions, and you had this up your sleeve. I’ll play it your way. What’s her name, where’s she from, how old is she and what does she do?” I rest my elbows on the table and prop my head on top of my fists, eager to find out everything there is to know about this girl. Hamish has never really dated before, so it felt kind of strange knowing he has a girlfriend. He’s always just slept around, but he never seemed to be able to settle on one girl.

  “Her name is, Chloe.” Another bite. He is doing this shit deliberately. He knows how desperate I am for information, so the asshole is going to take his time.

  “That’s a sexy name,” I add.

  “Yes, it is.” His head bobs with pride. He’s really into this Chloe chick, and it’s so freaking cute. “She’s twenty-two, she writes children’s books, and Kerry introduced us.” Kerry’s Hamish’s older sister. She’s already married and has been trying to find the perfect girl for him for a while now. It looks like she may have done just that.

  “She sounds nice.” I take another bite of my dinner.

  “She is, we’ll have to arrange to have dinner when your man is in Australia.”

  “Defiantly. Tristan and I haven’t made a date, but the wedding will be soonish, and I expect you and your girl to be there.” I point my index finger at him and glare at the same time.

  He leans forward in his chair. “Wouldn’t miss it for the world, chick.”

  After sharing a huge piece of mud cake with Haim, I drive him back to his house. But as I pull into the driveway, I immediately wonder if my eyes are deceiving me, because I swear I can see Mitchell standing in the front yard.

  The moment I realize that he is, in fact, real, my heart begins to race. I don’t know if I want to panic or vomit, maybe I should just do the two. I don’t want to see him. I don’t want to look at him. “What is he doing here?” I seethe, my voice is barely louder than a whisper.

  Even Hamish seems shocked by Mitchell’s appearance. “I have no idea. I hope my Mum didn’t tell him I was out with you, but you know my mother, she speaks before she thinks!”

  I pull the car to a stop and shift the gear into park. “Fuck, I guess I’m going to have to face him. I’ll only look like chicken shit if I haul ass out of here.” I shake my hands in a bit to stop them from sweating and trembling. I am beyond furious that he is here, he looks as if he has been waiting for our return, which in turn pisses me off.

  Haim places a hand on my shoulder while I continue to seethe in Mitchell’s direction. I don’t think he can see us because my car has the darkest legal tint on the windows. “Just set him straight.”

  “I will.”

  My gaze moves to Haim’s. “Thanks, Haim.”

  “No problem.” Hamish leans across and kisses me on the cheek. He then hops out of the car and closes the door behind him.

  My eyes close and I take a breath, I leave the car running for a quick getaway and rest my head on the steering wheel. When I hear the passenger door open, I don’t look up, I just grunt, “What does he want?”

  “I don’t want anything.”

  My head shoots up, and I see Mitchell standing inside the open passenger door. “Mitchell?”

  “Hey,” he smiles, but I’m not sure it’s genuine.

  Immediately, I move my attention to the petrol gauge. I want to look at anything that isn’t him. “Honestly, Mitchell. I can’t do this right now. I have to go.”

  “You don’t have five minutes to talk?”

  “I don’t have anything to say.” I shrug my shoulders because it’s the truth. I have nothing left to say to the man that treated me like shit for half of our relationship.

  “Well, I do. You don’t have to talk. You just have to listen.”

  “Fine, do your worst.” I lean back in my seat and tilt my head so I’m staring at the roof and not him.

  I hear him swallow before beginning. “I want to say that I’m sorry. I’m sorry for the way I treated you while we were together. It wasn’t until you left that I panicked and realized what I should have done, what I should have said. I let my mates get in the way of us. You were right, I was still living the single life, but it wasn’t intentional, I just didn’t know what I was doing. I want to plan for the future now, Cassie. I want to have a family of my own.”

  I’m genuinely surprised. Mitchell never spoke like this when we were together, if he had, I would have had more faith in him. But now, it’s too little too late. “That’s great, Mitchell. I’m glad you now know what you did wrong in our relationship, it shows that you have grown as a man. I’m happy for you, but, can I go now?” I don’t want to talk to him or look at him any longer. He is my past, a place I would like to keep him.

  “Are you serious? Why would you want to leave? Cass.” He leans across the center console, and I move away, my back now against the car door. “I want us to map out our future. I want to start fresh, Cassie.”

  My brain goes into meltdown, and I cannot believe this jackass. I look up at him and let out a long sigh. “You’re too late, Mitchell.” I don’t want to be a bitch right now, but I have to tell him.

  “What does that even mean?” The poor, useless-looking bastard is clueless.

  I place my elbow up against the window and prop my head up with my hand. I guess the only way to do this is just to come out and say it. “It means you should have treated me like your girlfriend and not someone you see and talk to when you’d feel like it. I don’t even live in this state anymore, Mitchell. I’ve moved away.”

  His eyes bulge out of their sockets. “Where did you move to?”

  My head shakes from side to side. “I’m not telling you where I live.”

  I can hear the frustration in his voice now, and he has no right to feel that way. “Why won’t you tell me? What’s the big secret you aren’t letting me in on?”

  I growl out of frustration. “Because Mitchell, I’m engaged.” I hold up my huge, black diamond, and when I do, I see his world crumble down around him. My voice raises until I’m almost screaming. “You had your chance, you treated me like shit. Now, I have a man that gives a fuck about me. He prefers to spend time with me more than his friends. He would, and does, drop everything and come to me when or if I ask him to. It’s a lot more than I can say for you.” I hadn’t realized how much he’d hurt me in the past until this very moment. No more, I will not let him drag me down anymore. I’m done.

  His head drops in defeat. “That explains the BMW then.”

  Holy fuck, I’m going to prison because I’m going to kill the fucker. I swear to god, I could reach over the console and choke him until he’s dead. “Excuse me, Tristan did not pay for my car. Yes, he has more money than god, but I don’t want him for his money. He treats me like I matter, he treats me in a way that you never did. He gives a fuck about me, Mitchell. He loves me! You just said the words, you never meant them. It was convenient for you. I deserve so much better than the way you treated me,” I scream. My heart is thumping, and it's taking all of me not to reach over and punch the asshole in the face. Sitting here, looking at him, I cannot believe I ever let myself love someone so heartless. Maybe I was the idiot, not him.

  His eyes close, his head still down. “I did love you, I still do. Did all that time we have together mean something or anything to you?” he whispers.

  Yep, if he asks one more stupid question like this, he'll be dead. “Don’t give me that shit, Mitchell. You cannot and will not try to pin our break up on me. I loved you, and you took me for granted, my love was unconditional. I don’t believe you ever loved me in the traditional sense. I believed you loved me in your own way, which was,
‘I’ll love Cassie whenever the fuck it suits me.’” I shake my head and switch on and rev the engine. “I’m leaving. Can you get the fuck out of my car, please? The car that my future husband did not buy for me.”

  “Goodbye, Cassie.” I can hear the tears in his voice. Typically, I would cave in and feel bad for him, but now I have a man that loves me, that respects me. I will never look back from that. Ever.

  I didn’t answer him, and the second the door had closed, I was out of that driveway in a flash. I was upset as I drove along the freeway, so I dialed Tristan’s number and put him on speaker.

  “Hi, baby girl.” My chest feels lighter just from hearing his voice.

  “Hey, babe,” I sigh with relief.

  “What’s the matter, you sound down?” I love that he knows me so well.

  “I am. I just had dinner with my friend Hamish, the guy I told you about.”

  “Your friend back home, the one that you grew up with?”

  “Yep, that’s him. Anyway, we had a nice time catching up, but when I pulled into his driveway to drop him off back, that asshole Mitchell was standing there waiting for us.”

  “Shit! What did you do? You didn’t kill him did you, Cassie? I’m not your one phone call from prison, am I?”

  I can’t help but chuckle. “No baby, I’m not in lock up,” I continue to laugh. “He caught me. He said he now knows how he treated me when we were together, and he proceeded to tell me that he had our future mapped out. I told him he was too late and that I was marrying someone that cares about me, and loves me. All the asshole did was drop his head, and that’s when I asked him nicely to get the fuck out of my car so that I could leave. But get this, when I told him about the wedding, he said, ‘Oh well, that explains why you have a BMW.’ The fucker thinks I’m marrying you for money.” I slam my fist against the steering wheel. I'm still shocked by the fact that Mitchell would think I would marry for money and that he would think I didn’t have enough brains in my head to be able to buy my own damn car!