Mere Phantasy

by Ashley Lauren

  “Who? Jack?” Zane blew through his lips. “He can wait a few hours. You smell like wet dog.”

  And so with an offended slap to his chest and a last check of the fire’s withered flames, Zane and I headed back toward the Nevertree again. And all I could think was, What have I gotten myself into?

  The pleasant smell of baking came to my nose as I stepped back into the hideout, bathed and feeling ten times better. I’d been hesitant to swim in the river again, but thanks to the comfort of my necklace, I made it through alive and confident, with no Naiad attacks, thank goodness.

  The Nevertree was empty besides the sleeping Zane and busy Lox in the kitchen/living area. Since Peter’s slumber started, Lox had busied herself with baking. A lot. Ginger cookies, pretzels, and even some strange Neverland delicacy she called “poriagee” (which I really think was just oatmeal with a fancier name). Not that I was complaining about it, but it was a side of her I hadn’t expected to arise, especially with the kick-butt persona she always put on.

  Satisfied with what Lox was doing, I turned to check on Peter with a yawn, rubbing my tired eyes.

  But I stopped as soon as I saw it. A snake’s tail of red dripped from Peter’s nose and down his lips. Blood.

  I gasped with worry, my whole body trembling as I moved to get to him.

  “Peter?” I gasped, not knowing how to help if there was internal bleeding. Heck, I didn’t know how to help with any kind of bleeding. In fact, blood made me want to puke. And puking made me want… to pass out…

  Zane appeared first by my side, looking over Peter as well. “Poison,” he whispered near me.

  The horror on Lox’s face and Zane’s comment made my heart plummet to my toes. Was Peter going to die? Was I about to lose my one shot at getting home? The longest friend I’d ever had (kinda)?

  Just as I was taking in all that’d happened, Zane stepped forward and yanked my necklace from me. I gasped, reaching up to touch my bare neck, and stared at him in shock. “Zane—”

  “I poisoned him.” He snickered. “I betrayed you. I lied.”

  “No!” Lox shouted in alarm as Zane stepped forward, a knife poised in the air above Peter’s heart. Just as he was about to stab at him, everything went dark.

  Then I came back to consciousness, gasping straight up in bed.

  “Whoa, princess. What’s—” Zane startled me by speaking.

  Instinctively, I lashed out, slapping him in the face so hard it stung my hand. Such a pansy thing to do, but my mind was focused on keeping him away from Peter. I’d do anything to keep him away. Kick, bite, punch. I’d protect him with my life—which was the dream still talking.

  Zane reeled back, cursing and spitting at me as Lox tried to calm me down. I looked around the room. Where was Peter? My breath was heavy, panicked, my eyes bulged to try and take everything in.

  “You’re fine. It was just a dream, Lacey. Calm down.” Lox soothed me, and I finally realized what was going on. I’d been dreaming. Another nightmare. I was trembling as Lox covered my shoulders with a blanket and led me to lie back down. “Just breathe, okay?” she told me. I tried blinking at the ceiling a bit, wanting nothing more than to get the images out of my mind.

  I was left alone as Lox dragged Zane away from me, thinking I couldn’t hear them as I closed my eyes to try and slow the throbbing in my head.

  “What was that about?!” Zane asked in a yelling whisper, now in the corner of the room.

  “I don’t know. But just… forgive her for now or something. She’s still a bit sick from running in the rain,” Lox answered, peering back at me as I pretended to close my eyes.

  “She just slapped the features right off of my face! Bloody hell,” Zane protested.

  “Stop whining,” she hissed. “You’re such a big baby.” From what I could tell, her famous finger point was being given. “Go get some firewood or something. Make yourself useful.”

  Finished, Lox moved away from him and toward me.

  “She hit me!” Zane protested, but Lox just waved him off.

  “Wood. Now,” she told him. I listened to her coming toward me again. I opened my eyes.

  There was an annoyed string of curses, and then I heard Zane’s heavy footsteps stomp out of the room. “‘Stay with her while she’s sleeping,’ she said. ‘She’ll be happy to see you,’ she said,” he grumbled before leaving the curtained room, still holding his face.

  I sat up slowly and rubbed my head.

  “How long have I been asleep?” I asked calmly, the only feelings of panic now subsiding into the back of my mind, thankfully.

  “What do you mean?” Lox tucked in the sheets closer around me like a worrying mother, strange to see, but I accepted it willingly. When she didn’t answer me, again, I stopped her by holding down her hand, forcing her to look up at me again.

  “I mean how long was I sleeping? I have a meeting with the general later today,” I told her, moving to see where I was. Lox’s room. Right.

  “Well, since you passed out after Zane brought you home, I didn’t really think to wake you.” She shrugged, a passive look on her face, getting up to clear away some garbage on the nightstand.

  I gave her a look of surprise.

  “What time is it?” I jolted to get out from under the covers, stumbling to get to my boots and drying clothes. I’d only wanted to sleep an hour or two, so they couldn’t have been too dry yet. But when I felt them, they were completely lacking in moisture, along with my hair.

  “No one ever told me about a meeting!” she protested as I ducked out of the curtained room and into the main area. I was in the middle of stumbling to pull on my boots when I glanced over to Peter. Poison. Blood. The dream had been so real.

  Shoes only halfway on, I distractedly walked over to Peter’s bed, where I checked his pulse. It was beating fast. Faster than normal.

  At first. I thought something was wrong, panic spiking in my chest. But Lox came up behind me and put her hand on my shoulder before I could call to her for help.

  “He’s fine. His blood pressure’s just spiking because he’s Peter Pan, and being asleep like that is killing him.” When she said that, my heart dropped. Lox quickly corrected herself. “Not literally, Lacey.”

  “I don’t know what’s a dream or what’s real anymore,” I croaked, hugging myself tightly. Not that I ever have. I wanted to cry from the lack of control, but I was too tired. That nap hadn’t helped fill the aching in my muscles or fixed my pulsing headache whatsoever. I was beginning to see when I dreamed, it didn’t replenish my energy like sleep should have. It drained me. I felt like a grape sucked dry. A raisin. I was a raisin.

  Lox let go of me, walking over to the kitchen. “Sorry, I should’ve woken you.” She picked up her bag before turning back to me. “Hey. Do you remember how to get to the Neverland camp?”

  Nodding, I spun around to face her slowly. “Yeah, I remember.”

  “Good, then you don’t need an escort, or an annoying one like Zane, anyway,” she said. I wanted to offer that he wasn’t such a bad guide, but didn’t think I should. Lox was tying her duffel closed in front of her. “I have some business to do.”

  “Like what?” I questioned as she hauled the bag over her shoulder, sitting to actually tie my boots. If the general needed my help so badly, then he could wait for me to come when I was ready. Rushing and looking like the mess I was wasn’t going to do either of us any good.

  Lox didn’t answer me at first, just moved to climb through the exit of the Nevertree. When she was at the foot of it, she turned around and smiled briefly. “Maybe it’s better you don’t know everything I do, Lace.” Her eyes moved to my necklace slowly.

  Furrowing my brow, I opened my mouth to ask what that was supposed to mean, but she was up and out before I could.

  With a frown, I realized I was alone in the Nevertree now, the Lost Boys off on another adventure to distract themselves from their leader being dormant. Maybe if I were a rebel, I’d run off and ditch my meeting. But
I couldn’t. After my dream, it made me rethink all that’d happened lately. Was I really doing all I could to help him? Was there a spell or some book that could help us figure out how to wake him? It was all just a big mystery, all of it, and it angered me beyond belief. Where was Google when I needed it?

  Moving over to Peter’s bed, I pushed him over so I could fit on the bed, too. I could feel his warm breath on my shoulder, and it made my heart dip low in my chest.

  Maybe somewhere, deep inside whatever world he was stuck in at the moment, Peter could hear me. I wanted him to. God, I wished he could hear me.

  “I’m scared,” I told him in a whisper. When he didn’t answer, I didn’t hesitate to continue, relying on what little memories I could look back on. “You always thought I had an important job, that I’d be good at it, whatever it was. A-am I now, Peter? Am I doing a good job? I don’t know what to do anymore. Tinkerbell’s gone—not that we were on the best terms to begin with. Hook’s army is stronger, a-and people are looking up to me. To me, for the answers. I don’t know what I should do.” I sighed, looking over his features and feeling like the pit in my chest was aching with guilt. “You aren’t here to help me, and it’s my fault. I wish you would wake up. Just… please wake up,” I begged, but the only answer was silence and soft snoring coming from his softly freckled nose.

  “You believed in me,” I ran my fingers over his shirt, pressing a wrinkle flat to his chest. “You always did, even when I didn’t. No one’s ever done that for me before.”

  Tears welled in my eyes.

  “You believed in me even before you knew your fate, and all you wanted was to save your world. So I’m going to do this for you. Because you deserve it. And so does Neverland.”

  After a few minutes of watching him with silent tears on my cheeks, I moved to get up, grab my jacket, and head out to do what I needed to do. It was time to meet with the general, by myself, and for Peter and no one else, not even me.

  Twenty-Four

  Apologizing was never one of my strong suits. In fact, I couldn’t remember the last time I’d set aside my pride in order to say sorry to someone. My ego liked to eat away at me, wrap me up in its blanket of confinement, and stop me from ever being able to do the right thing.

  So this time wasn’t any different than the others.

  “So…” The general raised an eyebrow as I sat in a chair across from his desk. My jaw was clenched so tightly my teeth were beginning to hurt from the effort. He shook his head with an amused smile. “You’ve come back to talk.”

  “Yes, I have, General.” I tried to make good eye contact with him, wiping my sweaty palms over my pant legs at the same time.

  The general pursed his lips. “Call me Jack, Lacey. The way you say general is far too condescending for my taste,” he joked.

  I swallowed and gazed around the room. Anywhere but at him.

  “All right.” I licked my lips, nodding. “Jack.”

  His fingers gripped the back of his chair as he looked over at me. “Is this talk we’re about to have about you willingly going against Peter’s orders again? Or can we put this small act behind us?” he questioned, tilting his head to await my answer.

  All I had to do was say sorry. Say I was stupid. I didn’t have to explain myself, and I most definitely didn’t have to give him any satisfaction. I’d just let it be said and then step right out that door.

  But of course, that wasn’t so simple for me to accomplish.

  I sent him an annoyed look. “I find it kind of funny,” I started.

  Jack watched me steadily. “Find what funny?”

  “That you need my help to go through with this plan of attack.” I challenged him, knotting my fingers to cover my nervousness. This side of me, this confident, rebellious side, only came out when I couldn’t put aside my pride. I found some way to pin it on the other person. And the hilarious part of that was I knew exactly what I was doing wrong.

  But I never thought about the consequences until it was too late.

  This was one of those times.

  “I don’t make the decisions for this army. That’s Peter’s jo—”

  “Peter’s not here.” I interrupted. “You’re the one in charge now.”

  Jack’s expression was vividly annoyed. “Wait, whose side are you on again?”

  “Obviously, this one,” I told him. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t see the flaws in its system, too.” I moved to get up, turning my back to him. My fingers trailed over another chair’s rim as I glanced his way. “You think by following what Peter wants me to do, it’ll prove to everyone you’re following his wishes?”

  “They’ll already know I do, because that’s called having character, Miss Rose.” He defended.

  I turned back to him, close to the tent’s opening now. Say it. I just had to say it.

  “No, they’ll be lied to. You don’t care if what Peter wants gets carried out. You just want the troops to think that. And I’m not saying I won’t help you do this, because I really do believe it’s the best option to get these soldiers rallying behind you. But…” I tried to keep my gaze and voice steady. “If I find out you’re really a scumbag like I think, I promise I will not hesitate to expose you,” I hissed.

  “I wish you could see how naïve you sound right now.” Jack laughed mockingly. “You’re accusing Peter’s top general of mutiny. How do you think he’d reply to that if he were here right now?”

  I gave him a taut smile. “He’d agree with me. Because if anything gets in the way of winning this battle and it comes down to you who’s responsible?” I let out a low whistle. “You better bet you’ll have something coming to kick you in the butt for it.”

  “You have no right to speak to me like that.” Jack glared, jaw clenched and whole body quaking with anger.

  A little red flag in the back of my mind waved frantically. Stop. Don’t push him to dislike you. Just say you’ll help him and move on.

  “I’m not from around here.” I snorted and moved to push the curtain aside and leave. “I think I can talk to you however I want.”

  Jack’s voice sounded resentful. “So what? You just came here to mock me?”

  Twisting around to look at him one last time, I pushed the tent flap up with a shake of my head. “Nope. I’m going to do what you want me to do. I’ll start training or whatever you need me to do tomorrow.”

  “This makes no sense to me.” Jack seemed baffled by my response, thick eyebrows dipped low over his eyes.

  With a slight smirk, I stepped out. “Story of my life, General.”

  I’d just sealed my deal to help Neverland. And no matter how much confidence I’d faked, I was scared as hell.

  When I was far enough away from the tent, I slipped between the soldier barracks and slumped against one of the supporting beams. Acting tough was hard work. I felt drained, nerves at the absolute edge. Did I really believe all those things I’d said about Jack? Maybe. I had no proof. I’d honestly just come up with it to cover up the fact I was guilty. Peter had asked his general specifically to resort to me to be the face of his army. To give the Neverlanders hope, even when he knew I’d have none. How could I? I wasn’t trained for any of this. A few flimsy sword fights with Peter wasn’t enough to make me appear strong to others.

  These soldiers would now look up to me to lead them into a situation, which from my point of view seemed like a lost cause. Hook was powerful, malicious. I didn’t know the facts; I didn’t know the first thing about war or the darkness thriving behind it. But the one thing I did know was I still had to try. I had to try and live up to what standard Peter had set for me. If he believed in me, maybe I could, too.

  I inhaled sharply. What if I had to make a “their finest hour” speech or something?

  Oh God.

  No, no. I couldn’t think of this; I couldn’t freak myself out before I actually knew the details. Tomorrow, I’d find out what my real duty was.

  And possibly what else the general was up to.
>
  It was around dusk when I finally calmed myself down enough to start home. The aroma of camp food had gotten the best of me. I was starving. Thinking back on it, I hadn’t eaten since Lox’s pancakes that morning.

  Well, I thought, it’s kind of hard to remind yourself to do a simple thing like eat when you’re living in a real-life fairy tale.

  I was so consumed in my thoughts as I walked that I hadn’t picked up on a sound coming from somewhere nearby in the forest. My boots crunched to a stop on the gravel, looking around me to see if I heard it again. If it was another giant sloth or Nephilim beast, ready to devour my flesh just because they felt like it. I deserved to be allowed to get a little farther away from camp before they licked my bones clean of their Lacey-ness.

  But to my surprise, when I listened closer, it didn’t sound like any monster. In fact, it sounded like something I’d never, ever expect to find here in Neverland.

  Of course, that didn’t mean much here.

  Still, hearing the cry of a baby was shocking to me.

  Taking a few steps toward the sound, I tried to navigate my way toward its wails. Motherly instinct was it? Carrying me toward the random sound of an infant’s cries in the dead center of a mythical creature-infested forest? I sure hoped so, since there wouldn’t be any other excuse for doing something so absurd.

  I rushed forward, and my head jerked to the side when the cries suddenly sounded closer to me. Had I really traveled that fast so quickly? The forest felt like it was swallowing me whole, completely off trail toward the Nevertree now. Maybe an escort would’ve been a good thing to bring along after all.

  But when the howling sounded even closer, I pushed aside all conscience trying to warn me, only driven forward by the baby in danger. What if someone abandoned it? Or worse, what if it was hurt? My stomach felt like it was a giant knot as I moved to push past some brambles. I couldn’t deal with those negative thoughts.

  In mid-step, though, I felt rough hands yank my arms behind me in an arching motion, flinging me back and away from where I’d been trying to go. When the shriek left my mouth, fingers stopped it, and the person grabbing me held me still.