The Darkest Hour

by Roberta Kagan

“Well, then. Enjoy a lovely dinner with Lily and don’t worry so much. How the money came her way is none of your concern.” He pressed a kiss on her lips, before he walked out the door. “I’ll see you in the morning, Schätzchen.”

  Sabine busied herself doing the chores around the house. Cleaning, dusting, washing. And preparing a meal for Werner when he came home in the morning after a long night shift.

  Then she retreated to bed, trying not to worry about the unusual invitation her neighbor had extended. Probably Lily was simply as lonely as Sabine was and needed some company.

  Chapter 4

  The next day Lily knocked on the door as soon as Sabine returned from work.

  “I just came home,” she said and invited her neighbor inside. As always Lily looked the part of a frivolous actress with her red coat and a fashionable hat in the same color, but it was when she took it off to hang it on the coat rack that Sabine’s breath hitched. Lily wore a shimmering silk dress in beige and copper tones that matched the copper color of her hair. The dress was molded to her body, exposing perfectly rounded breasts and hips – a luxury not many women possessed after years of rationing.

  “You look beautiful,” Sabine complimented her neighbor and added, “Make yourself at home, while I get changed.”

  “Take your time,” Lily said, inspecting Sabine’s home. All the houses on the street featured the same shape: a kitchen and a small sitting room on the ground floor and two tiny bedrooms and a bathroom upstairs. But the pride of the owners were the modern water toilets just beside the main entrance, which meant they didn’t have to trudge to the outhouse anymore or use a chamber pot at night.

  Sabine disappeared upstairs and dressed in her nicest outfit, a dark blue two-piece suit with a material-saving pencil skirt, even knowing she could never compete with Lily. A silk dress!

  When she returned downstairs, Lily was looking at the photographs from Werner and Sabine’s wedding and asked, “Werner is a very handsome man. How’s he doing?”

  “He loves being a fireman, but…” Sabine caught herself just in time before she said anything compromising. It was no one’s business that Werner disliked the way the SS interfered with his work. “…the weeks with the night shifts are hard.”

  “I can only imagine! Although I admire him for becoming a fireman. We need strong and dedicated men to protect us.” Lily put the framed photograph back on the chest of drawers.

  Sabine looked at the picture of herself and Werner on their wedding day and as always, the butterflies started up in her stomach.

  “You do love him, don’t you?” Lily asked with a soft voice.

  Surprised at her neighbor’s sudden perception, Sabine said, “Yes. He’s the best thing that ever happened to me. I couldn’t imagine having to live without him.”

  “The two of you are a great pair. Shall we go?”

  “Sure.” Sabine followed Lily to the nearest bus stop. “Where are we going?”

  “It’s a surprise, but I’m sure you’ll love it.” Lily giggled.

  For lack of anything better to say, Sabine engaged Lily in the safest topic of them all: the weather. As a child, it had always struck her as peculiar how adults could literally talk for half an hour about the current, future or past weather. And now she resorted to the same tactic when she didn’t know what else to say and couldn’t let the conversation descend into uncomfortable silence.

  The bus arrived and, despite its being crowded with passengers, it took Lily only one of her dashing smiles to make an elderly man offer her his place. Sabine secretly rolled her eyes. Nobody ever did this for her. What was it about her neighbor that all the men seemed to dance to her tune?

  “We have to get off at the next stop,” Lily said.

  Once off the bus, Sabine looked around the affluent neighborhood. “Where are we?”

  “Charlottenburg, home of one of the best restaurants in Berlin.” Lily tugged at her gloves and interlaced arms with Sabine.

  Lily’s bizarre behavior hit Sabine in the middle of her chest with a stab of discomfort. In twenty years of knowing each other, Lily had never graced Sabine with any kind of interest. She lifted her face up into the dark sky, trying to get past the queasy feeling in her stomach.

  “You’re still working at the gun factory?” Lily asked as they turned around the corner.

  “Yes. It’s been very busy recently.” Sabine sighed, not wishing to go into detail about her tedious work.

  “It doesn’t sound like you enjoy the work,” Lily said.

  “It’s important for the war effort, so I don’t complain, but I could think of more pleasant things to do with my time.”

  Lily stopped in her tracks and stared at Sabine, breaking out into laughter. “Who wouldn’t? I couldn’t imagine slaving away day in day out in a factory like you do.”

  Sabine’s eyes widened.

  “There are definitely easier ways to help the war effort. I see we are on the same page,” Lily said, taking up her pace again. “We’re almost there.”

  Several minutes later, they reached their destination. The liveried employee at the entrance greeted them, “Welcome, ladies, do you have a reservation?”

  “A table for two. Kerber is the name,” Lily answered gracefully and cast a charming smile at the poor employee, who didn’t know what hit him. Blissfully ignoring Sabine, he almost fell over backwards to lead Lily inside and help her out of her fancy coat.

  Sabine studied the menu in disbelief. Things she’d long forgotten that existed graced the menu. Lamb. Salmon. Oranges. Real coffee. Her mouth watered just looking at the words.

  After they ordered their meals, Lily retrieved an elegant, black cigarette holder from her purse and moments later the waiter dashed to their table to light the cigarette for her. Inhaling deeply, she leaned back and then puffed out little smoke clouds with a satisfied smile.

  “There’s nothing more relaxing than a good gasper,” Lily said, before she squinted her eyes for a moment in a pensive expression. “Would you like one?”

  “No, thanks, I don’t smoke,” Sabine said. Besides the fact that cigarettes were expensive, and the rations could better be used for food, Sabine had never approved of women smoking. It was frivolous.

  Lily nodded and then abruptly changed the topic. “I understand an older woman came to work at the munition factory a few weeks ago. A Frau Klausen?”

  Sabine looked at her, confused at the direction the conversation had taken. “Yes. Do you know her?”

  “She’s quite a bit older than the other workers. Does she appear to be getting along alright?” Lily asked, ignoring Sabine’s question.

  “I guess so.” Sabine had come to like her new coworker, because she was quiet and never asked nosy questions or tried to pry private details from anyone. In fact, Frau Klausen never talked about any other topic than her children when they were still young – or the weather.

  “But she works next to you, correct?” Lily asked, leaning back and taking another drag on her cigarette.

  “Yes, she does.” Sabine paused, not sure what to make of this interrogation. She hated giving away personal details and tried to mind only her own business. “Why are you asking about her? Do you know her?”

  “Not personally.” Lily looked around and then leaned forward, lowering her voice slightly. “I’m working for the government and Frau Klausen’s name appeared on a watch list as a potential enemy of the Reich.”

  “What?” Sabine gasped, swiftly putting a hand in front of her mouth. That accusation was completely unbelievable. Or maybe it wasn’t. Even if it was, Sabine didn’t care either way. That was none of her business.

  “I’m afraid so, yes.” Lily observed Sabine behind heavy eyelashes, painted in perfect black with mascara. “Would you be willing to relay information on Frau Klausen to me?”

  “Me? Information about Frau Klausen? To you?” Sabine felt like a complete idiot repeating Lily’s request. “No. I’d rather mind my own business.”

  Lily frown
ed at her, giving her a harsh look and an even sterner verbal warning. “That is no way to stay alive during these treacherous times. The only way to keep yourself safe is to join the winning party. That’s what I’ve done and it’s an opportunity I’m offering to you. Either you’re for the government or you’re against it. There is no middle ground.”

  Sabine’s head spun as Lily stopped speaking long enough for the waiter to serve their food. Lily graced him with a measured smile and he wandered off again, grinning like a schoolboy. Lily had always had the ability to make men melt into puddles at her feet.

  For many years Sabine had been jealous, until she fell in love with Werner, two years senior, attending the same school. The one man – boy back then – who’d never succumbed to Lily’s charms. Not that she hadn’t tried.

  Lily cleared her throat and Sabine stopped her musings. “My sponsors aren’t stingy. They reward those who work for them generously. All this,” she pointed at the table with its exquisite-smelling meals, “wouldn’t be possible without their generosity.” Then Lily cut her salmon and pierced a small piece with her fork, before she dipped it into honey mustard sauce.

  Sabine followed suit, her mouth watering even before she put a piece of duck with orange-chestnut filling into it. The sweet-sour taste slid across her tongue, as she carefully chewed the fatty meat.

  For a while Lily seemed content to talk about food in all forms, shapes and tastes. As they finished their meal, the waiter brought real coffee and even a dark chocolate praline.

  “So, have you thought about my offer? It’s not hard work and the Führer will reward you for it,” Lily said, sipping at her coffee while holding the cigarette holder in her other hand. She could have stepped right out of a motion picture.

  “What exactly do you do?” Sabine couldn’t help but ask.

  Lily leaned forward and whispered, “Well, I gather delicate information. My sponsors see that I am invited to the right kind of parties and events, where I meet the suspect, usually a rich and powerful man, to find out where his allegiance lies.”

  “And they tell you just like that?”

  “Of course not, silly,” Lily broke out into sparkling laughter, drawing all eyes to them. She lowered her voice to a whisper again. “A bit more effort is needed to make the target open up. You wouldn’t believe the amount of information a man gives you, when he finds you willing.”

  Sabine felt herself blush all the way down to her toes. She must have misunderstood. But the way Lily pursed her lips, to give an air-kiss, didn’t leave much room for misinterpretation.

  “I’m a married woman! I couldn’t do that,” Sabine protested in shock.

  Lily only grinned at her. “You’d be surprised what you could do given the proper motivation. Besides, there are other ways to get information.”

  “What exactly would I have to do?” Sabine asked, dreading the answer.

  “Not much. Just telling me what Frau Klausen says and does. Whom she’s friendly with, what she does in her leisure time.”

  “I’m not really talking to her except about the weather and her children,” Sabine twisted her hands fretfully in her lap, while she stared at the far wall, wishing to return home and lock herself into her bedroom until Werner came home in the morning.

  Lily cocked her head to the side and suggested, “Why don’t you sleep on my offer and then get back to me with your answer? The government is very generous to those who help them.”

  Sabine nodded, not knowing what else to do. If the offer was so generous, then why did she feel like a mouse caught in a trap?

  Chapter 5

  Sabine slept fitfully all night, plagued with nightmares about dark-clothed men coming after her and asking for Frau Klausen. In the morning she woke with a shock to find a big man standing in front of her bed on this sunny Sunday morning.

  Her heart racing, it took her almost a minute until she shook off the remains of her dream and recognized Werner, who’d just returned from his night shift.

  “Sabine? What’s wrong? Are you ill?” He sat down beside her, frowning when he clasped her cold hands. He pulled them between his own and started rubbing them. “Sabine. Talk to me, please! You were screaming in your sleep.”

  She shook her head and gave the shadow of a smile. “It’s nothing; I just had a bad dream.”

  “A bad dream? That’s all it was?” He slipped beneath the covers at her side and wrapped his arms around her. “You’re still shivering.”

  She couldn’t deny the truth of his words as she struggled to draw breath. Too strong were the images of the dark-clad men…Since Werner wouldn’t give up until he’d coaxed the truth out of her, she decided to let the cat out of the bag. “Lily asked me to spy on a coworker who supposedly is an enemy of the Reich.”

  Werner drew in a breath and she felt his heartbeat speeding up. “She wants you to spy for the Gestapo?”

  “She never mentioned the Gestapo by name, but I guess so. She said I would be generously rewarded for relaying information and would do my country a great service.” Sabine turned in his arms to look into his eyes. “Werner, I’m scared. I don’t want to get involved with these people.”

  He squeezed her hands and nodded, his voice serene. “Just as well. SD, SS, or Gestapo – one agency is worse than the next. It’s best to stay as far away from them as possible.”

  She knew he talked from experience. In his work as a fireman he was often forced to work closely together with those agencies and he rarely found a nice word to say about any of them.

  “What did you tell her?” he asked after a long silence.

  “That I would think about it,” Sabine said, leaning against his warm chest. In his arms she felt safe, in his arms she’d even confront the Gestapo.

  “That’s good. Continue to let her believe you are considering her proposal. Stall for more time. In fact, we should think about leaving the country.”

  Sabine groaned. “That’s a little drastic, don’t you think? Nobody’s going to do me any harm, just because I refuse to become a spy. I haven’t done anything wrong. Neither have you. We’re both law-abiding citizens, we have nothing to fear.”

  Werner looked at her with fear in his beautiful blue-grey eyes. “Things have changed. They’re not what they used to be.”

  “You think I’m wrong?”

  “I think you’re being naïve if you believe there is nothing to it. I’ve seen firsthand how these thugs operate.”

  Sabine rested her head on his chest once more, and Werner rubbed his hand up and down her back. She wore only her nightgown and when he slipped one hand beneath it, she forgot all about Lily’s proposal and turned her head to give him access to her lips.

  “I want you and since you don’t have to leave for work, there’s no need to rush,” he murmured against the soft skin of her neck. Sabine purred her agreement and he divested her of the nightgown before he slipped out of his own clothes and made sweet love to her.

  Several hours later, while Werner slept, she prepared a meal for them and took it upstairs on a tray to wake him up.

  “I love you, Schätzchen,” he said when he opened his eyes and then invited her to sit beside him and share the meal. “Promise me you’ll be careful in dealing with Lily?”

  Chapter 6

  Two days later Sabine’s supervisor, Herr Meier, called for a meeting during lunch hour. Such meetings were never a source of good news, and the women entered the assembly place with long faces.

  “Twenty-seven employees called in sick with the flu,” Herr Meier said. Sabine groaned inwardly because she already knew what he would say next. “Our production is directly linked to the war effort and only with enough rifles can our soldiers succeed. Even though we are short-handed we must meet our daily quota. To remedy this situation, everyone will stay two hours longer today and come in one hour early tomorrow.”

  Nobody cheered. But nobody objected, or groaned either.

  “Total War! Sieg heil!” he shouted, shooting his right
arm up in the Hitler salute.

  “Sieg heil!” the women shouted back.

  Sabine drudged back to her workstation grumbling beneath her breath, when Frau Klausen fell in pace beside her.

  “There’s no use frowning, now is there? It won’t change a thing and we’ll all get a little extra in our paychecks come the end of the week,” Frau Klausen said, glancing at Sabine’s frown-lined forehead.

  “A ten-hour shift is grueling enough, now they make us work twelve? When will this ever stop?” Sabine said with a vigorous shake of her head, only to raise her hand to check up on her Sabine rolls.

  “You look lovely,” Frau Klausen complimented her, but even the friendly words couldn’t cheer up Sabine. She kept growling about the awful work in the awful factory.

  “Frau Mahler, would you like to talk about something that makes you happy?” Frau Klausen suggested with a bright smile, apparently fed up with hearing Sabine’s complaints.

  “Why don’t you stay out of my life?” Sabine snapped back at her. Moments later, guilt swamped her for speaking such harsh words to the woman who’d only tried to be friendly. It wasn’t Frau Klausen’s fault that Lily wanted Sabine to spy on her. Or maybe it was? Why did the older woman have to get on the bad side of the government? And when she insisted on sticking out her neck, why did she have to come and work next to Sabine?

  She gritted her teeth, counting the minutes until her shift would be over and she could go home and tell Lily that she wasn’t the right person for this job. She just couldn’t do it.

  Her feet ached, and she rubbed her back every so often to alleviate the pain located just above her tailbone. Would this horrendous shift ever end? Working as fast as humanely possible without injuring herself, she finally reached her increased quota and slipped out of one shoe to wriggle her toes, before walking over to the supervisor’s station to hand in her tracking sheet.

  “Well done, Frau Mahler,” he said, giving her an appreciative glance. “You’re not only fast but accurate. Help your neighbor finish her batch and then everyone should be ready to go.”