Being Dharma

by Ajahn Chah

  The Buddha intended for us to be free of attachment to the five aggregates, to lay them down and give up involvement with them. We cannot give them up, however, because we don’t really know them for what they are. We believe happiness to be our-selves; we see ourselves as happy. We believe suffering to be ourselves and see ourselves as unhappy. We can’t pull the mind out of this view, which means we are not seeing nature. There isn’t any self involved, but we are always thinking in terms of self. Thus it seems that happiness happens to us, suffering happens to us, elation happens to us, depression happens to us. The chain of self is constructed, and with this solid feeling that there is a self, everything seems to be happening to us.

  So the Buddha said to destroy this conception, this block called self. When the concept of self is destroyed and finished, we are free of the belief that there is a self in the body, and then the condition of selflessness is naturally revealed. Believing that there is me and mine and living with selfishness, everything is understood as being a self or belonging to a self or somehow relating to a self. When the phenomena of nature are seen thus, there is no real understanding. If nature appears to be good, we laugh and rejoice over it; if phenomena appear to be bad, we cry and lament. Thinking of natural phenomena as constituting ourselves or something we own, we create a great burden of suffering to carry. If we realized the truth of things, we would not have all the drama of excitement, elation, grief, and tears. It is said, “Pacification is true happiness,” and this comes when attachment is rooted out through seeing reality.

  Reality exists in the phenomena of nature, in their appearing, changing, and disappearing. That is their truth. It is people who are not true. We become excited by things, but phenomena are not excited in themselves. We become attached to things, wanting them to be a certain way, taking them to be ours. We react with extreme emotions depending on whether they seem to turn out in the right way or the wrong way, meaning whether they turn out according to our desires.

  Thus, Anya Kondanya saw the nature of all things. His view was transformed in the moment when he first heard the teaching of the Buddha. He saw clearly and truly. From that moment on, whatever he encountered, he just saw arising and passing away. Pleasant and unpleasant phenomena still kept appearing to his mind, but he merely recognized their appearance. There was no way he could again fall into the states of extreme suffering that are called the lower realms. His mind firmly established in awareness, he could no longer react to things with gladness or dejection. So it is said that Kondanya received the eye of Dharma that sees according to reality; wisdom knowing the truth of all existence was born in him. This is one who knows and sees Dharma. When one knows one renounces and lets go of things, lays down the burden. We try to bear giving things up, employing forced endurance and renunciation, but we don’t see Dharma through this. When one really attains and sees, there is nothing to be endured or given up. When one sees Dharma, there is only Dharma, and in Dharma there is no enduring or renouncing. But when we don’t yet know and realize Dharma, when it is not our being, we have to apply the conventions of Dharma, exerting ourselves in various practices. We have to apply effort because of the tendency to laziness. We employ endurance and forbearance because of a lack of determination and an inability to bear things and restrain ourselves. But if one has practiced well and is habituated to it, no kind of forced effort is needed.

  Fumbling and Groping

  ONE WHO HAS PASSED BEYOND doubt no longer needs to grope. If doubt hasn’t been removed, you sit and try to develop samadhi, reciting verses to invite the deities and invoke their help. It’s just superstitious attachment to rites and rituals. This is talking on a subtle level.

  The stream enterer has no doubts. There are still things he has not realized, but he has no doubts. He has removed the first three fetters—belief in a self, doubt, and superstition. The mental afflictions of the stream enterer are of one type, those of the once-returner (at the next level) another. These afflictions become more refined and subtle. What is heavy for a child and what is heavy for an adult are different. Through the stages to attaining the full awakening of the arahant level, it is all different. The afflictions may have the same name, but the weight is different. However, they will all eventually be finished and gone.

  Even though there still is something remaining, it doesn’t matter; there will be no ill effects. The groping mind that doubts and wonders, Is this right? Is that wrong? is done with. When one realizes the truth of cause and effect, there is no more doubt as to what is right and wrong. If people at this level act correctly and someone else calls them wrong, they will not be moved by that; but they also won’t argue with anyone over it. An argument between someone with doubt and someone with no doubt will probably not get very far.

  Belief in the body as being or belonging to oneself, doubt, and superstition are all simply groping. For example, when we sit in samadhi for a long time, do long periods of walking meditation, confess our transgressions of the precepts, and thus feel that we have purified our minds, this is all blind belief in rites and rituals. It is just groping.

  It’s like if you walk along in this cramped little hall, and you keep bumping into the corner of a bench—then there is groping. If you were just sitting there and didn’t go and bump into something, there wouldn’t be this reaction. For this groping to occur, there has to be something to set it off. Others don’t walk into the bench, so their legs won’t hurt and they won’t have this reaction. I’m trying to illustrate it as simply as possible.

  Why is there groping? There is doubt, so there is this discomfort in the mind. Did I do this? Did I do that? It depends on intention as the cause. A mosquito bites you and you brush it away, then you notice, Oh! My hand is full of blood. The mosquito is dead! You don’t need to start groping at this point: Did I create some bad karma here? Did I have intention to kill it? Even if there was no intention, I am supposed to be mindful. You can get really worked up over it, groping around. If you just see that the mosquito died and you are aware that it was an unintended happening on your part, you let it go. You can return to your dwelling later and not be chewing it over. Tomorrow, you won’t be bothered by second-guessing. You get straight about your intentions in this way and conquer the anxiety. Then when you sit down to meditate, you needn’t return to this memory and worry over it. It’s like not walking into the bench. If you walked into it, you would have to put some balm on your leg. There is something here, some pain, so there is this reaction. The mind is apprehensive and unsettled over something, so there will be this groping.

  There is the view that the body is ours. The Buddha says it isn’t ours, and we come to yield on this point. We recognize that this is true and don’t need to grope anymore. The next fetter is doubt. Previously unsure about all phenomena, we are no longer in doubt now that we have relinquished the belief in a self. Then there is attachment to rites and rituals, blind belief in the efficacy of conventional modes of behavior. The three are connected, one leading to the other, three types of mental affliction. From seeing the nature of the body and letting go, doubt disappears. And when there is no doubt, there is no more groping. This applies to all the aggregates—body, feeling, perceptions, conceptualization, and consciousness.

  Let’s speak about it in terms of the Eightfold Path. It begins with right view. If your view is right, then thinking will be right, and all the other factors will be right. But it will be right to a limit, depending on the individual. There is the right view of stream entry, the right view of a once-returner, and the right view of the nonreturner. None of these have yet reached the supreme right view of the arahant. On each level of the path, there is a corresponding level of right: right view and the rest. But there is no doubt from the beginning of entering the stream; there is right view for each level. That of the stream enterer is limited, unlike that of an arahant, but such a person still will not have any wrong understanding. When there is right view, wrong view cannot also be present. When there is no wrong at all
within a person’s being, that is the arahant level. When there is still some wrong within the person, she is at stream entry or some other lesser level. She cannot yet go where the arahant can go, but she has reached a certain level of right. When right comes to fulfillment, she will be an arahant. Saying, “I have reached the limit of my strength, I have lifted as much as I can,” has a different meaning when it is spoken by a child and by an adult. They are the same words, but the meaning is different.

  Getting to the end, doubt is finished. Mind and body are relinquished. Everything is exhausted and finished with. You don’t desire the body, don’t desire the things of mind. Their power over you is finished, and nothing remains. Why would there be anything left? If there is, let the dogs and cats have it.

  We have to hear the teachings and then let go, cast the concepts aside and really practice. The knowledge that will dry up doubt comes from doing, from effort in practice. It doesn’t happen from asking questions of someone else. But it’s hard to maintain enthusiasm for exerting ourselves in practice. We want to get attainment quickly, but we tend to be lazy. The Buddha said, “Doubts will be exhausted in the mind of the Brahmin because of unflagging practice. . . .” It won’t come from anywhere else. So he urged us to apply ourselves with consistent effort.

  Whatever arises, pick it up, examine it, and see it clearly. If you can’t yet see it for what it is, put it aside for the time being. Today you meet it through this explanation, but only on the level of knowledge. What you don’t yet understand, you have to put it aside and practice. Too hot, too cold, neither is right. Not fast or slow, that’s not it. You can’t find where it is. This is something that only you can know; when you try to explain it to someone else, it doesn’t work. Another cannot truly believe simply by hearing. It is something to be contemplated with constant, even mindfulness.

  If you practice unceasingly, there will come a moment when you know this clearly. But you have to give up desire for it to happen. If you don’t give up this desire, you won’t come to know. Right now, all you know is desire. When you let go, that’s it. Instantly things are different, and you can practice with the attitude that if you attain some realization, that is fine, and if you don’t, never mind. That way you have ease and comfort in your practice; it lies in this direction, not in the direction of wishing and struggling.

  You may own a diamond, for example. It falls into the water, and you get very upset. You keep on searching in the water, trying to find it, not caring how hungry or tired you get. Finally, you may think it over and decide, Never mind if I get it back, that’s OK. If it’s lost, that’s OK, too. Then you can return home without the burden of worry.

  The crucial moment is when you let go and give up your obsession with it. If you keep on thinking, Oh, what a terrible loss! Where can I find it? This is really bad! Why did this have to happen? you are only increasing your suffering. If you can accept whatever happens, whether you get the diamond back or not, you will feel better. There will be some calmness then. You don’t need to waste too much energy on it.

  Take care of yourself, pay attention to the things you have, and keep developing and increasing mindfulness. If you develop it first and foremost above other things, you won’t be mistaken and your formal meditation practice will certainly not suffer. You probably have doubts about what you’re supposed to do in your practice—this is it, right here. But you really have to keep at it to make mindfulness complete, increasing it gradually until you can be aware fully and clearly of everything that happens. When your mindfulness becomes really clear and bright, knowledge will be born. Then you are aware of whatever occurs.

  This knowledge that comes from having firm, clear mindfulness will be the cause for wisdom as you come to know and see things as they really are. Without mindfulness, this won’t happen. So make your mindfulness as great as you are able. It is the extraordinary treasure that can support your knowledge and awareness and enable you to enter a state of peace. It is the Buddha himself. It will help support and admonish you. You can call it being near to God or Buddha because when you have mindfulness you will be awake. You will know and see, and you will have restraint and caution.

  When the more subtle afflictions are still in the heart, lying hidden from your sight, it is because mindfulness is not complete. You do not see them, so they are able to hide from you. Whenever mindfulness is there in sufficient force to clarify things, it makes the mind bright, it makes your wisdom clear. It’s like putting water in a bowl. You can look into the bowl and see your face in it when the water is still and clean, just as with mindfulness you can see yourself. And not just yourself—your awareness will extend to many things. Even if a tiny insect falls into the water, you see it. If the water is stirred up or unclean, you can’t see much at all. You won’t be able to see your reflection clearly. If the water is still and clean, you can see the ceiling. If there is a lizard on the ceiling, you will see it reflected in the still water. Having mindfulness is similar to that. There will be restraint and caution because of the knowledge and sensitivity that has been born of mindfulness.

  This mindfulness we have been discussing and practicing can be called recollection. There could be some confusion over the terminology here. When mindfulness arises and knows something, it becomes perception or memory, and this is impermanent, something that can deteriorate. For example, I may want to call the monk named Jagaro, but I say, “Pamutto.” I know what I want to do, but when it comes to speaking, I say something else. And I am aware of this happening. That’s the impermanence of perception. This change and instability occur as time passes, we get older, and the brain weakens. It’s only the natural decay and worsening of the elements, according to the principle that perception is impermanent. We can see this happening clearly, but it happens by itself. We see it is like that, and we accept it. The Buddha taught that memory is impermanent, as are the other aggregates of body and mind. So we don’t hold tightly to all these things as being self or other.

  If there’s nothing happening, you don’t need to investigate anything. Just remain in an ordinary state. For example, when you are sweeping your dwelling, if no one calls to you, of course you don’t need to look. If someone calls, “Hello there!” then you look, and you are aware of what is happening and what business the person may have with you. After that, you just keep on sweeping. If something is there, we investigate. If not, there’s nothing to investigate. We are just mindfully aware of our own abiding. There is careful attentiveness; we are not simply letting ourselves go. Whatever may occur, we will know. It isn’t dwelling in unawareness. But we don’t have to go thinking and seeking, trying to find something or to figure anything out. When there is contact through the senses, we have the inner awareness to watch it.

  When mindfulness is in charge and protects us in this way, there is tranquility in the mind, which will lead to wisdom because of seeing all these things. Please look into this.

  When it’s time to sweep up leaves, then sweep. Maintain your awareness as you sweep and contemplate whatever occurs. Don’t merely sweep with a blank, indifferent mind. If you keep your mindfulness up, the mind can enter a concentrated state. You will think, Well, sweeping the grounds is good, after all. We keep the monastery clean, and we practice meditation to sweep the afflictions out of the mind. Your mind will converse with itself like this, and wisdom will keep on growing.

  When the mind is in a settled and awake state resulting from proper meditation, it’s like a freshly swept path: as soon as a few leaves fall, you will notice them. They will be easy to see on the ground. But if the mind is not guarded or controlled, it is like a forest floor covered with leaves: if a few more leaves fall, they are lost among those already on the ground.

  Wisdom grows as we see the nature of phenomena. We see there is no way to solve, undo, or adjust things. We accept the transitory nature of existence, accept things as they are, and the result is peace. Suffering is quelled because of this surrender and acceptance. When we surrender, clingi
ng attachment is uprooted, and we see there is really nothing there; there is nothing left. We have perceptions of self and others, beings, people, and so forth, but in fact these are only conventions, appearances. In ultimate transcendent reality, there is nothing. The body we perceive is only a coming together of the elements. Men and women are like that. Asians and Westerners are like that. Everyone is actually like that. All are the same, and seeing this leads to a state of ease.

  For example, we are taught to meditate on the food we eat. Looking at it and contemplating properly, we can see there is nothing really special, not a whole lot there. There is the food, and there is us, the two parts that are just the elements, and then they get put together. That’s it. You won’t get too worked up over your food now. But if you cannot see it like this, if you cannot accept that this is all there is to food, you will suffer. The person who accepts that the food and the one who eats it are the same mere combinations of elements will have lightness, but for the person who cannot accept, there is heaviness.

  In your practice, you should aim at this kind of understanding. Seeing things in this way can alleviate and reduce your experience of suffering. Before you can end suffering, you have to reduce it first, little by little. All of you who have undergone the training should be able to verify this. I’ve observed some of you changing over the years, and you can compare what it was like for you before and now. Look at the condition of your mind. There are big differences now. Why is it like that? The things you grasped at so much have been losing their power over you.

  But still desire wants instant realization and accomplishment. It’s pretty ordinary that everyone wants to be liberated right away, but it can’t happen. I remember how one monk used to read stories of people who attained the arahant stage merely through hearing a little teaching or meditating briefly; then he would start to wonder, What’s the matter with me? Am I practicing in the wrong way? This would make him confused and upset, so he would shoulder his bowl and mosquito net umbrella and go into a forest. His practice didn’t work any better there, so off he would go to another forest. But he wasn’t able to pacify his mind in that forest, so he went to yet another forest, and still it wasn’t peaceful. It wasn’t peaceful in the mountains, either. Wherever he went, there wasn’t any peace for him, and there didn’t seem to be a way to find peace, so his mind never got out of this turmoil. It was because he was thinking that peace is in the living environment. Yes, it does have a part in it, but the larger part lies with right view. That is where peace will really be found.