Evie thought a moment longer, then nodded, and tucked the card into her cigarette packet. “Maybe I will,” she said.
“Do,” Natalie said.
Evie nodded, and stood there smoking, and Natalie tried to think of something else to say. She tried, but couldn’t, not after she’d somehow offered to be a mentor. Something had gone wrong, and she couldn’t work out what, and she almost couldn’t decide if she actually cared.
Natalie wanted to talk, but couldn’t, and then it was too late. Evie finished her cigarette. She dropped it on the ground, and stood on it, and said, “I should get back inside.”
And all Natalie could do was nod.
*
Although Evie had said she was going back inside, she didn’t actually move. She continued to stand beside Natalie, almost as if she was reluctant to go.
Natalie hoped she was reluctant, and not simply high. She stood beside Evie, waiting to see what Evie did.
Natalie wanted to say something. She wanted to ask for a way to contact Evie, or arrange to meet her later. She wanted to ask, but in the end she wasn’t brave enough. Evie would probably refuse, Natalie thought, and so couldn’t see the point. And as well, she wasn’t sure she wanted to be that person, older, and slightly pathetic, chasing after Evie. Chasing, when Evie probably wouldn’t even notice that she was.
Natalie stood there, silent.
“Okay,” Evie said, after a moment. “So I’d better get going.”
Natalie nodded.
“Okay,” Evie said again, and looked around.
Evie seemed to be stalling. Natalie wasn’t sure why, but she changed her mind, a little. Enough to hint, not enough to be brave. “You’ve got my card,” Natalie said.
“I have.”
“So call me,” Natalie said. “If I can help.”
Evie looked at her for a moment, then said, “Yep, I will.”
“It was good to meet you,” Natalie said, then wondered if that was too much. They had only talked for a couple of minutes, and not about anything especially important. She was probably sounding too enthusiastic.
Evie didn’t seem to notice. She nodded, and then fished around in her skirt pocket. “Here,” she said, and held out chewing gum.
Natalie looked at it for a moment.
“You don’t want to go back inside and breathe weed over everyone,” Evie said.
Natalie nodded, and took a piece, embarrassed not to have thought of that herself. “Of course,” she said.
“And this,” Evie said, and shrugged off Natalie’s jacket. She held it out until Natalie took it, and then said, “Thank you.”
“It’s fine.”
“Okay. So I’m going now,” Evie said.
“Do call me.”
“I will.”
Evie nodded, and waved, and began walking towards the door.
Natalie put her jacket back on, and then stood where she was, waiting. There was only one door to the courtyard. They would both be leaving the same way. Natalie didn’t want to follow right behind Evie, and make them both feel awkward. She waited a little, and let Evie get inside.
She thought about Evie. She wondered why she’d become so interested, so suddenly. There was something about Evie, not just that she was young and attractive and nice enough to talk to Natalie. There was something about Evie’s recklessness in smoking pot at work that made her terribly interesting to Natalie. Evie seemed like everything that Natalie wasn’t, and everything Natalie half-wished she ought to be, even though she didn’t actually want to be that at all.
Natalie found Evie interesting and hoped Evie found her interesting too, and for a few minutes there, she had almost hoped there was something between them, the smallest tiny spark. Enough that Natalie had some hope. Enough that with Natalie’s money and clothes and her being a partner, she might impress Evie. For a few minutes Natalie had hoped, but then she had changed her mind. She didn’t think Evie had even noticed her interest. She didn’t Evie had really noticed her at all, except as a possible employer.
Sometimes Natalie didn’t make much sense even to herself. She was probably just lonely, she decided. Lonely and tried and sick of hiding from Meredith.
Natalie gave up, and told herself to stop thinking about Evie. She went back inside and listened to the final session of the day. She didn’t hear much of it, but that wasn’t really important. She sat and listened, and was seen. Afterwards, she stood around, and sipped wine, and listened to people she’d known for years talk about things that hardly mattered to her right now. She listened, but as she did, secretly, she wanted to be talking to Evie.
She wanted to be talking to Evie again. She had changed her mind, somehow, and wanted to try and be brave after all.
She saw Evie once, going past with a tray of food. Evie smiled when she saw Natalie, and Natalie smiled back, and then Evie was gone. Natalie stayed longer than she would have ordinarily, for two more drinks, hoping to see Evie again, hoping for a chance to say something, but Evie seemed to have disappeared. She must be working out the back, Natalie decided. Which meant that was that, Natalie thought. She had missed her chance. It was her own fault. Her hesitancy had let her down. She ought to have been more direct in the courtyard. Evie was gone, had slipped out of Natalie’s life, and she would hardly remember Natalie in the morning.
Then, to make the night perfect, Meredith arrived. Meredith liked to pretend everything was fine between them, that they were friends and bore each other no ill-will. Natalie did her best not to be seen. Rather than deal with Meredith, she went and stood at the back of the room with a group of the younger associates and let them feel obliged to make small talk with her.
Fifteen minutes of that was enough. Natalie decided she didn’t need to stay. She had made her appearance, and had been seen, so after another quick drink it felt like time to go. She said her goodbyes, and went back downstairs to the lobby.
She had planned just to leave, but as she walked through the lobby, past the bar where she’d first seen Evie, she changed her mind. She had an odd, brave little impulse to go inside.
She went over and stood at the door. It was a little busier now, with people meeting for drinks after work, and Natalie stood there for a moment, thinking. She didn’t know quite what she was doing. She was hoping for something, but she wasn’t quite sure what.
After a moment she realized. She was regretting not being clearer about her interest in Evie.
She decided. She went into the bar. She sat on her own, and had another glass of wine. She was half-hoping to see Evie, even though she knew that was unlikely, since Evie was working at the conference upstairs. She didn’t see Evie, but after a while, she realized it was the same bartender as had been working earlier in the afternoon.
On a whim, feeling rash, Natalie stood up, and went over. She asked if the bartender remembered her, and got a polite nod. She asked if the waitress who’d been in the courtyard earlier was still around, and the bartender just stood there and looked at her. Natalie held out fifty dollars and asked again, and asked if she could speak to the waitress for a moment. The bartender hesitated, and then took the money.
“I’ll wait,” Natalie said, and sat down with another drink.
She didn’t know quite what she was doing, and how much this sudden courage had been brought about by too much wine, but she was pleased she was. She was pleased she had found some courage, and was going to try again, and not just leave the hotel, never knowing what this might have been.
2: Evie
Evie ended up stuck in the kitchen, scraping plates and stacking glassware. She didn’t complain, even though she’d been hired as a waitress, rather than a kitchen-hand. It was a casual temp job, and only for one night, but they might need someone again and remember her if she was helpful.
She scraped for a while, not paying much attention to what was happening around her. The kitchen was busy, preparing food for the hotel’s restaurant. She scraped, and finished tidying up, until everything seemed t
o be done. She went back out to the conference room to check for any last trays. The conference drinks had finished. The lawyers were gone. That seemed to be all she needed to do. She signed out, and left her timesheet with the kitchen manager, and got her bag.
She was about to leave when one of the bar staff called out to her.
“Oh hey,” the bartender said, from where he was collecting clean glassware. “That woman you were talking to before is looking for you.”
Evie had to stop and think. “What woman?”
“When you were outside before,” the bartender said. “Down in the courtyard?”
Evie stood there for a moment. She didn’t quite understand. “Why’s she looking for me?”
The bartender shrugged. “She didn’t say. She just asked if you were still around and I said I thought you were. Why, don’t you know her?”
“Nope, not really.”
“Oh.” The bartender looked at Evie. “Shit, I thought it was your mother or something. Do you want me to say you’ve gone?”
Evie hesitated, then thought about careers and contacts and networking. “Nah,” she said. “It’s okay. I’ll go talk to her.”
“She’s had a few. I think she might be a bit pissed.”
“Okay.”
“I mean, think she’s still downstairs waiting, but I can throw her out if you like?”
Evie shook her head. “It’s fine,” she said. “Thank you.”
Evie said goodbye, and went down to the bar to look. Everything seemed quiet, as if the bar had already closed. Evie wasn’t surprised. It was a wet Tuesday in winter, and there wouldn’t be many more customers now the conference was over. Evie opened the bar’s door, and looked inside. It was definitely closed. The tills were off, and no staff were around. All the drunk lawyers had gone home.
All except Natalie, her weed-friend from earlier.
Natalie was sitting halfway down the bar, with half a glass of something in her hand, staring at the rows of bottles along the back wall. Evie was a little surprised. She had half-expected Natalie to have given up and left.
Evie stood there for a moment, wondering what Natalie wanted. Maybe more weed, Evie thought, or maybe she was annoyed that Evie had got her high.
Or maybe she wanted to flirt.
Evie had wondered if Natalie was earlier, but hadn’t been completely sure. Natalie was older, old enough Evie wouldn’t have assumed she was, and she’d been very shy about it if she had been. She had been hanging around Evie though, and trying to talk, and that was what made Evie wonder. It had felt like something was going on. Like some kind of shy person’s flirting, all painfully cautious and self-aware.
Flirting that Evie might not have even noticed, except that she flirted that way herself.
She remembered thinking that perhaps Natalie wasn’t used to being with women, and perhaps that made her nervous, so she was hiding her interest because of that. She’d thought it, then wondered why she cared.
Now she was thinking it again.
She looked at Natalie for a moment, hesitating, then decided Natalie seemed fairly harmless. She probably ought to just walk away, to leave Natalie there, and assume that whatever it was Natalie wanted, it wasn’t worth the trouble of finding out. Evie almost did, except she felt bad leaving Natalie here on her own, waiting. That seemed a little cruel. And also because Natalie might actually need her, and Evie could almost guess why. Saving a law firm’s partner from a drink-drive charge, that had to be good for something, and being a law firm partner’s weed supplier would be even more useful than that.
Evie walked over and stood next to Natalie. “Hey,” she said. “What’s going on?”
Natalie looked up. She seemed nervous, which made Evie think maybe she was going to ask for more weed.
“You were talking to me earlier,” Natalie said.
Evie nodded. “I remember. Someone upstairs said you’d asked for me.”
“I did,” Natalie said, nodding slowly. “Yes I did.” Then she just sat there.
Evie didn’t know what to make of that.
“Did you want something?” Evie said. “Because…”
“I wanted you to know I enjoyed talking to you.”
“Okay,” Evie said, starting realize what was going on. Natalie was drunk. Natalie was very drunk, so much that Evie was wondering quite how fucked up she was, and if she was worse than she actually seemed.
“Is everything okay?” Evie said.
Natalie sat there for a moment and it suddenly didn’t seem like everything was. She seemed sad, or worried, or anxious about something.
“Hey,” Evie said, concerned. “Are you okay?”
Natalie nodded.
“You don’t seem okay,” Evie said.
“I’m sorry,” Natalie said, slowly, as if she was having trouble concentrating. “I’m just a little…”
“Pissed,” Evie said.
“I’m not…”
“You so are,” Evie said. “You’re completely fucked up.”
“Not really.”
“Yeah really,” Evie said, and stood there looking at her.
“You know what,” Natalie said, after a moment. “I actually think I am.” She began staring at her glass, almost as if she was puzzled by it, almost as if she didn’t know quite how her being drunk had happened. As if there was some big mystery about the cause.
Maybe she wasn’t used to drinking, Evie thought, and it was actually a mystery to her how glasses of wine made you tipsy. Or maybe it was the weed. So maybe this was Evie’s fault, and the weed was messing up Natalie’s drinking, and how much she could handle. Or maybe she’d just had a bad day, and had drunk too much, and lost track.
Evie wasn’t sure, and it didn’t really mater.
“You’re not driving, are you?” Evie said.
“Not any more.”
“Maybe I should call you a taxi.”
“Thank you, but I’m fine.”
Evie hesitated. She didn’t want to get involved. But this didn’t seem right for what she knew about Natalie. As far as Evie knew, big law firm partners didn’t usually get quite this pissed on a normal weeknight, which meant either Natalie was a drunk and had a problem, or something else was wrong. Either way, that seemed bad. Bad like Natalie might try and get herself home, and not care whether she was driving. Bad like she might fuck up her life or kill someone if she went off on her own right now. Evie looked around. There were people upstairs, and out in the lobby, but the bar was closed and everyone nearby had gone. If Evie wanted someone to do something, it was pretty much up to her.
Evie stood there, thinking.
“Have a drink with me,” Natalie said.
“The bar’s closed.”
Natalie looked at Evie like she didn’t understand.
Evie sighed. “We can’t have a drink,” Evie said. “The bar’s closed. It’s time to go.”
“We can go somewhere else.”
“No,” Evie said.
“We could. Come on.”
“I can’t have a drink.”
Natalie looked at her again.
“I can’t have a drink with you,” Evie said, wanting to be clear. “I really can’t.”
Natalie thought about that for a moment, and then stood up as if to go. She looked miserable, almost heartbroken, but like she was trying to leave with a little dignity.
Evie felt awful.
“I’m sorry to have troubled you,” Natalie said, which was just so weird and formal that Evie didn’t know what to say.
Evie felt guilty, and sympathetic too. She had been here. Everyone had been here, having too much to drink and having your friends disappear and you ended doing something silly. That was even assuming Natalie had started with her friends, which might not even be true. Evie had started noticing that the more successful people got, sometimes, the fewer friends they had.
She wondered if that was why Natalie wanted to talk to her too.
“I’m sorry,” Evie said, but Nat
alie had already started to walk away.
Evie thought. Natalie was gentle. She was polite. She just wanted to have a drink. Evie started to change her mind, and wonder if she’d made a mistake by saying no. She ought to take advantage of the opportunities that came along. A mentor could be useful. A friend in a large firm could be useful too, once she started applying for jobs, because she’d heard that knowing the right person in the right place mattered far more than grades or references or anything else, and perhaps it was true.
Evie stood there, thinking, watching Natalie sway towards the bar door. Natalie was really quite drink.
“Fuck,” Evie said, then, “Hey, wait up. Hold on.”
*
“Wait,” Evie said, and Natalie stopped walking and turned around. “Just wait a moment,” Evie said. “Let me think.”
Natalie nodded. She seemed like a nice person, Evie thought. A bit drunk, but nice.
“Why do you want to have a drink with me?” Evie said.
Natalie shrugged. “It was just an idea.”
“But why?”
Another shrug.
“Why?” Evie said. “Why me?”
“Why not?”
Evie sighed. “This isn’t helping. Try and concentrate, yeah?”
Natalie nodded. She took a breath, and did a little thing adjusting her jacket, then said, “Okay.” She looked at Evie, and did actually seem to be more focused. She was swaying less, if nothing else. Perhaps she had sobered a little, now she was trying, or perhaps she had because she’d stood up.
“So why?” Evie said.
“To get to know you,” Natalie said. “Why else?”
Evie couldn’t decide if Natalie was being evasive or was just confusingly drunk.
“It might just be interesting,” Natalie said. “That’s all.”
“So this is what, professional?”
Natalie looked at her for a long moment, then said, “No.”
“Yeah,” Evie said. “I thought not.”
Evie stood there for a moment, trying to decide. She thought about Natalie. She thought about someone old enough to be her mother hitting on her, and of the complications there might be if she ended up working at Natalie’s firm. She thought that Natalie was an experienced lawyer, and was probably used to getting her own way, and very able to make that happen. So much so that Evie almost felt out of her depth, almost a little worried she might be feeling too comfortable around Natalie, and Natalie might somehow be tricking her into being relaxed. Then Evie thought, and decided that was silly. Natalie seemed too unsure of herself to be deceptive, and too drunk as well. And whatever happened, she just didn’t seem the kind of person who would cling and cause trouble. She’d already been willing to give up and walk away. It was just fun, Evie decided. It was just a drink. People had drinks, and even if it was more than that, Evie wasn’t especially worried.
Evie's Job Page 3
