“Wait,” Natalie said. “Just let me think.”
Evie nodded, and sat back where she’d been.
“I honestly don’t know what I’m going to do,” Evie said after a moment. “If that helps at all.”
Natalie seemed surprised. “You don’t?”
“I don’t. I really don’t. Either good or bad.”
“Oh,” Natalie said. “Okay.”
“It’s been a long day and a funny week,” Evie said. “And I really might just be up for something crazy. But I want to actually hear you say it, just because.”
Natalie nodded.
“So say it.”
Natalie opened her mouth, then stopped. “I can’t.”
“Why?” Evie said, but Natalie didn’t answer, so Evie sat there and tried to work it out.
Natalie might just be shy, she thought, or embarrassed, but it might be something more. Evie suddenly began thinking about the law. She began to wonder how close they were to doing something illegal. She couldn’t remember whether prostitution was against the law, or soliciting, or only doing it without the right business permit. She had no idea, and to her horror it was suddenly starting to matter. Natalie offering her money might actually be against the law. Evie accepting it might be too.
It was a slightly odd thought.
Evie wondered if Natalie was thinking the same thing. She wondered if that was why Natalie was being so cautious.
Evie sat there for a moment, wondering. The idea was actually quite funny. That both of them were lawyers, and thinking like lawyers, so both worrying about breaking a law Evie didn’t know for sure existed.
She decided she probably ought to ask.
“Are you worried it’s illegal?” Evie said.
“What?”
“This. What we’re doing. Are you worried because its illegal?”
“I’m worried because it’s embarrassing.”
“Oh,” Evie said. “Okay.”
“And it isn’t illegal, anyway. Not any more.”
“You’re sure?”
“Fairly.”
“Okay, good.”
They looked at each other for a moment.
“So…?” Evie said. “Weren’t you going to ask me something?”
“I was thinking about asking it, yes.”
“Well?”
Natalie sighed, and walked over to her bag. She took out her purse and looked inside. “I have three hundred… Three hundred and twenty dollars,” she said. “I’ll pay you that to…” She stopped, quite abruptly. “Shit.”
“To what?” Evie said.
“I don’t know. I can’t say.”
“Do you really think I’m going to be offended?” Evie said. “At this point?”
“I don’t know.”
“So ask me. Just ask me like it’s a question.”
“I don’t know.” Natalie looked down at the money she was holding. “Is it enough? I can get more.”
“Ask me.”
“I want to know if that’s enough for you.”
“Ask,” Evie said. “See what I say.”
Natalie seemed frustrated, as though torn between wariness and desire.
“Last chance,” Evie said, deciding to push a little more. “I’m about to leave.”
“Wait,” Natalie said. “Just wait.” She turned around, and walked across the room. She went down the hall, and into a room that looked like an office, from the glimpse Evie saw as the light went on, then off. She came back out with a chequebook. She walked back to Evie, and put the chequebook down on the kitchen counter. She wrote quickly, filling a cheque out.
“All right,” Natalie said, held the cheque out to Evie with the money she already had. “Three hundred and twenty dollars in cash. Or five hundred dollars as a cheque. Is that enough?”
“I don’t know,” Evie said. “For what?”
“Please?” Natalie said. “Just tell me if it’s enough.”
“I don’t know,” Evie said. “You haven’t asked me for anything.”
Natalie glared at her.
“I mean it,” Evie said.
“I know,” Natalie said.
“So ask,” Evie said, and sat there, waiting, but Natalie still didn’t speak.
Evie was surprised how far this had gone, and by how much Natalie was prepared to pay. She had no idea what the proper amount was, and suspected that Natalie didn’t either, but she was still a little surprised it was that much. She was equally surprised that Natalie would actually pay her, but not ask, like Evie wanted her to.
Natalie wasn’t asking. She just kept holding out the money, looking at Evie.
“Okay,” Evie said, and slid forward again. “Bye.”
“Wait,” Natalie said.
Evie stopped, and waited, but Natalie had gone quiet again.
“I don’t know why this is so important to me,” Evie said. “But it is. I want you to ask.”
“I know.”
“So tell me what you want,” Evie said. “Tell me what exactly you want to pay me to do?”
Natalie looked at Evie, and bit her lip, and looked down at the money. “Spend the night with me,” she said. “Please?”
“Just spend the night? Just be here? Nothing more?”
Natalie looked up, seeming surprised, and slightly annoyed. “Of course not.”
“So, what?”
Natalie sighed again. She bit her lip again.
“Say it,” Evie said. “Just ask me, or I’m leaving.”
“Please don’t make me.”
“I am. I will. Ask me.”
Natalie hesitated. Then she said, “Fuck it.”
Evie waited.
“Stay the night for sex,” Natalie said. “I’ll pay you have sex with me. Please. If that’s all right with you?”
Evie sat there for a moment, quite surprised Natalie had said it. It was quite surprising, she thought. Surprising to hear, to be talking like this about herself, and more surprising not to be horrified, and in fact, to be almost willing.
Natalie hadn’t moved. She was waiting, still holding out the money. She seemed nervous, suddenly unsure.
A moment passed.
“Well?” Natalie said. “Will you?”
“I’m thinking,” Evie said. “Just let me think.”
*
“Is that enough?” Natalie said, as if the amount of money was all that mattered right now.
Evie didn’t answer. Some strange part of her wanted to haggle, to see how much Natalie would pay. She wanted to, but something made her hold back. Some sense that fucking for money didn’t make her a whore, but bargaining about it did. As if the difference between a mistress and a prostitute was in the talking about money, rather than in what each did.
Evie wondered what she was going to do. She’d made Natalie ask her for this, had pushed and pushed until Natalie made that offer, and now Evie had to answer. Evie owed Natalie an answer, she had to tell Natalie something, but she wasn’t quite ready for what her answer might mean about herself.
She needed to think.
“Hey,” Evie said. “Um, you said about a drink before…”
Natalie nodded.
“Could I have something after all?” Evie said. “Is that okay?”
“Yes, of course,” Natalie said. “What would you like?”
“Anything.”
“Wine?”
“Anything.”
Natalie went down to the far end of the kitchen and took a bottle out of a wine rack. She didn’t seem to bother looking at what it was. She opened it, and put the cap on the bench, and took two glasses out of a cupboard above her head. She poured wine into both, then walked back to Evie, and handed her one. Her hand shook slightly as she handed Evie the glass.
The wine was red. Evie sipped, but that was all she could tell. “Thank you,” she said.
Natalie nodded.
Evie had noticed Natalie’s hand shaking, and Natalie seemed anxious now. She must be worried, Evie decided.
Natalie had taken a risk by asking what she had, and as yet, Evie hadn’t answered. Evie could still say no, and could say no quite hurtfully. Worse, if Evie wanted it, if she made a public fuss, the consequences for Natalie could be embarrassing.
Evie hadn’t thought of that. It had been quite brave of Natalie to ask.
Evie thought. She didn’t want Natalie to be upset. She wanted to be reassuring, to tell Natalie not to worry. She wanted to, but she also didn’t want to speak too soon, and make it sound like she was agreeing to something before she was completely sure that she was. She didn’t know what to do, so she decided to be honest.
“Just give me a moment to think,” Evie said.
Natalie nodded.
“Just as long as it takes to drink this?” Evie said, and held up the glass. “Please?”
“Of course,” Natalie said, and looked at Evie’s glass. It was large, like the glasses in restaurants and wine bars, and Natalie had only filled it halfway.
Natalie held out the wine bottle. It took Evie a moment to understand. Natalie was offering to pour more, to give Evie more time.
“No,” Evie said, “It’s fine,” but she liked Natalie a little more for the gesture.
Natalie leaned on the cupboards, and watched Evie, and Evie sat on the bench, beside the stove, and tried to work out what she was feeling.
Mostly, Evie was curious. This was a strange situation to be in, and an interesting offer to have been made. She wanted to see what would happen, to see what she’d do next. She actually didn’t know. Everything she’d assumed about how she’d react was turning out to be wrong, and that was leaving all kinds of possibilities open. She wasn’t horrified. It was creepy and dirty and wrong, and a terrible thing to be considering, but she wasn’t the slightest bit horrified. She liked Natalie, she supposed, so in a way it was almost like flirting. She liked Natalie and she’d never done this before, and it seemed like that part ought to matter too. It did matter, really. It would cheapen Evie if she made this a habit, but doing it once wasn’t especially bad. It would cheapen her if either of them made it a habit, so Evie needed to know about Natalie.
“Have you done this before?” Evie said.
“This?” Natalie said. “No, of course not.”
Evie was a little puzzled by that. “Why of course?”
Natalie looked at her. “I don’t…?”
“Why did you say of course,” Evie said. “Why is it obvious you haven’t? I mean, when you’re trying to right now.”
Natalie thought. “I actually don’t know,” she said.
“Oh,” Evie said. “Okay.”
“Is that all?” Natalie said.
Evie nodded, and went back to thinking.
She thought. She tried to think. She sat there, damp, sipping Natalie’s expensive wine, trying to decide what to do.
It wasn’t the sex, Evie thought. It wasn’t that entirely. She had already mostly decided she was going to sleep with Natalie. It was something different, something about money and who she was and finding out this thing she’d never known about herself before. She was interested to do it, just to find out what it was like. She was excited by doing it too. She was probably going to say yes, she thought. The more she thought about it, the more she wanted to say yes. Natalie wanted her enough to pay, and in an odd way that was more of a compliment than someone spending half a night trying to talk to her. She’d slept with people she liked less than Natalie, for worse reasons than money, for guilt or needing to be held or to make someone stop nagging and let her sleep. Compared to that, in a strange way, sex for money was almost honest. There was a better reason, too. She was being offered money for sex, and she actually needed the money. She ought to just for the money, so she could skip the next two weeks of work and concentrate on studying. That was a good reason as well.
She sat there, sipping the wine, thinking.
“If this is bothering you…” Natalie said. “If you aren’t sure about this.”
“It’s not bothering me.”
“But if it is, we don’t need to do this. You don’t even need to answer.”
“It’s not,” Evie said. “It’s really not. It’s an interesting idea. In a strange, strange way it turns me on as much as it horrifies me.”
“Same,” Natalie said.
Evie looked at her surprised. “You too?”
“Of course. Wouldn’t you be a little shocked at yourself? If you were me?”
“Oh yeah,” Evie said. “I suppose so.”
Natalie smiled.
Evie sipped a little more wine. She’d drunk half of what was in the glass.
She made herself think about consequences. She had to, before she agreed to anything. She was ambitious. Her career mattered to her. She needed to decide if this would get in the way. Because if Natalie thought Evie had only slept with her to get a better job, or Natalie became embarrassed afterwards, then Natalie might do something to hurt Evie. It might be tricky, Evie thought, if she applied for a job at Natalie’s firm. But then again it would probably be tricky working with anyone she’d slept with, and there were plenty of other firms. She thought for a moment, and decided not to worry. Natalie seemed as embarrassed as she was, and probably wouldn’t want to explain how she knew Evie.
She thought a little about work and sex and sleeping her way to the top. She thought about whether she’d suspect herself of that later. One day in the future, she wanted to know she’d got to wherever she had because of her ability, not because she’d slept with Natalie. She thought for a moment, then decided that wasn’t likely. One night of sex with a tipsy law-firm partner wasn’t going to be the thing that made her career.
She made herself think about Natalie, trying to be suspicious. Natalie was rich and successful and probably always got what she wanted, and might be tricking Evie somehow, getting Evie to things she didn’t want. Natalie could be, Evie thought, but Evie thought she knew herself better than that. If it was a trick, then Evie wanted to be tricked. She seemed to want to, anyway. She was still feeling reckless, and that mattered most of all. She was feeling reckless, feeling like doing something new and exciting, something that had been unimaginable a few hours ago.
She thought a little longer, but knew she had probably decided.
Evie looked at Natalie for a moment, and then finished the rest of the wine. She tipped the glass back, and drank what was left, and then sat there looking at the glass. She knew Natalie was looking at her, but she didn’t look up for a moment. She held the wine in her mouth, and made certain she knew what she was doing.
She was almost certain she did.
She swallowed, and put the glass down on the counter. She looked up at Natalie.
“Only if you’re ready,” Natalie said, before Evie could speak.
Evie looked at her, thinking.
“Only if you are,” Natalie said. “Only if you actually want to answer.”
“I am.”
Natalie waited.
“Okay,” Evie said. “Yes.”
“You will?” Natalie said, surprised.
“I will.”
“You’re sure?”
Evie nodded. “Very.”
“Oh,” Natalie said, and then, “Good.”
Evie grinned. She grinned, then just sat there looking at Natalie, because she had no idea how to actually start.
*
Natalie looked down at the money she still had in her hand. “Well,” she said, and held it out. “This is yours.”
Evie nodded, but didn’t try to take it.
“Please,” Natalie said, and moved her hand a little.
“Not both,” Evie said.
Natalie seemed to realize she was holding both the banknotes and the cheque she’d written out. “Oh,” she said. “Yes. Which did you want?”
“Cash, I suppose.”
“It isn’t as much.”
“I know, but a cheque…”
Natalie looked at her.
“It’s a nuisance to go
to the bank,” Evie said. “That’s all.”
“Oh,” Natalie said, and thought for a moment. “You shouldn’t get less because of that. Not because I didn’t have more on me.”
“I’m not. That’s fine.”
“I can owe you…”
“It doesn’t matter,” Evie said. “It really doesn’t. That’s enough.”
Natalie seemed surprised.
“It’s enough,” Evie said. “Please. It just is. I can’t explain.”
Natalie seemed to decide not to argue. She handed Evie the banknotes, and then tore the cheque in half and put it on the counter beside her.
Evie sat where she was and looked at the money in her hand. The money Natalie had just used to buy her. She thought about counting it, but decided that wasn’t very polite. She could see it was all there, anyway. Six fifties and a twenty. It didn’t need counting, and she didn’t think Natalie would cheat her anyway.
Counting wasn’t what was important, anyway. It was that Evie had just been bought.
Evie thought about that. Natalie had bought her. That was a very strange thought to have. A strangely sexy thought, too, even though it probably shouldn’t be.
Not bought, though, Evie suddenly realized. Actually only rented. For some reason she liked the idea of bought better.
“You just bought me,” Evie said, looking at the money in her hand. “That’s kind of weird.”
Natalie watched her.
“You’ve paid for me,” Evie said.
“I did.”
“I’m yours,” Evie said.
Natalie didn’t say anything. Evie couldn’t tell what she was thinking.
“I talked to someone about this once,” Evie said. She didn’t know if she should be telling Natalie this, but for some reason she wanted to explain. “I always thought I’d cost more.”
Natalie was quiet for a moment. “I don’t know what to say to that.”
“Yeah,” Evie said. “Sorry. I wouldn’t either.”
Natalie nodded.
“I don’t really mean anything,” Evie said. “I was just thinking out loud.”
“All right.”
“Just, I’d thought I’d want more to do this, that was all. Just hypothetically, when we were talking shit. I remember saying I’d want tens of thousands of dollars.”
Evie's Job Page 7
