Evie's Job

by Tess Mackenzie

  Sometimes she wasn’t especially impressed with herself.

  “But who is she?” Meredith was saying.

  “She’s Evie,” Natalie said. “What did you want at home?”

  “A receipt is all. But I found that child there instead…”

  “Yes,” Natalie said. “You probably did. I imagine she’s there now.”

  “Is she a housemate? Oh Nat, are things that bad? Did you need to split your bills with someone?”

  Natalie had always earned less than Meredith, and for some reason Meredith cared a lot about that. “Don’t be an idiot, Meredith. Of course she isn’t a housemate.”

  “Well, what is she?”

  “What do you think?”

  “Oh Nat…” Meredith said, suddenly sounding hurt. Pretending, Natalie assumed.

  “Don’t call me Nat,” Natalie said.

  “What?” Meredith said. “I didn’t.”

  Natalie sighed. She had spent years asking Meredith not to call her Nat. She didn’t like it, for no other reason than people assumed they could without asking. She didn’t like it, and no matter how often she said so, Meredith never listened. They had been separated for years, but Meredith was still calling her it, oblivious.

  “Don’t call me Nat.”

  “I know. I’m not.”

  “Of course you aren’t.”

  “Well you don’t need to be like that,” Meredith said.

  “I’m not being like anything. What do you want? A receipt?””

  “Yes,” Meredith said. “In the files you kept. For that vase we got in Venice. For insurance, is all, so it isn’t especially important, but it would make everything much simpler if you had it.”

  “I’ll look.”

  “Of course you will. But Nat, she was half-naked when she opened the door. I can’t imagine what she was thinking…”

  “Which vase?” Natalie said, because she didn’t really remember.

  “Half-naked,” Meredith said. “And so young…”

  Meredith talked for a while about Evie. Another of Meredith’s habits was to talk while she thought. Natalie listened, but Meredith didn’t really get to a point. She never did, because barristers never did, because barristers all learned that as long as they kept talking they had your attention and then could think on their feet.

  This was all her own fault, Natalie thought. She should have known this would happen. She’d never stopped Meredith just turning up at her door before, because it had never mattered that she did until now. She ought to have said something, she supposed, but she hadn’t, and now she was paying for that mistake. She ought to have mentioned Evie to Meredith too, now she thought about. It would have made things simpler. She hadn’t, mostly because she assumed that some unhelpful friend would, but apparently that hadn’t happened.

  Meredith was still taking about Venice and the vase, and Natalie’s junior had begun waving at her through the door.

  “I’m sorry,” Natalie said. “Meredith, I have to go.”

  “Oh,” Meredith said, managing to sound surprised. “Well, all right.”

  “I really need to. I’m about to go in with clients.”

  “All right,” Meredith said. “There’s a note explaining everything under the door. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  “Meredith, no…” Natalie said, but Meredith wasn’t listening. She kept talking about the receipt.

  “I really have to go,” Natalie said. Her junior was waving more urgently. Natalie held up her hand, meaning she was about to be there, but Meredith kept talking.

  “I’m going,” Natalie said. “Bye.”

  She hung up, before Meredith could say anything else. It was always oddly satisfying to hang up on Meredith. She left her phone on her desk, and straightened her jacket, and went through into the meeting room to work.

  *

  All afternoon, Natalie had wanted to phone Evie and make sure everything all right, but all afternoon she had been so busy she’d never had the chance. By the time she was free, it was almost evening, so it seemed easier just to go home. She hoped Evie hadn’t been too horrified by whatever had happened with Meredith, and she remained a little concerned about whatever that might be. She was almost certain that Meredith would have been completely unreasonable, but she had an odd feeling Evie might have been too. Not that she blamed Evie. She quite often wished she could be more unreasonable to Meredith herself.

  She went home, and opened the front door, and felt almost anxious, almost expecting something awful. She didn’t quite know what kind of awful, but certainly something bad. Evie angry or Evie miserable or even Evie gone.

  She seemed to have been worrying over nothing. Everything was as it usually was when she got home. Evie was in the kitchen, at the table, reading. Nothing at all seemed wrong.

  Natalie put her briefcase down beside the front door, walked over to Evie, and kissed the top of her head. Evie didn’t look up, but she often didn’t until she had finished a thought. She kept staring at the page, very intently. Natalie waited a moment, in case Evie said something, but Evie didn’t. Natalie glanced around. Meredith had said she’d left a note. There was a sheet of paper at the far end the end of the table. Well away from Evie, Natalie noticed. She went and looked, and saw her own name in Meredith’s handwriting, so she picked up the note, and read it.

  Meredith said she’d stopped by, and met the girl, and what the fuck was Natalie doing? Not that Natalie would want to explain, Meredith said, since she assumed Evie had read the note too. Meredith said she just wanted the receipt for the blue vase they’d got in Venice, for insurance, if Natalie still had it, but that she’d try another time. Since she assumed Natalie was busy.

  Meredith had said girl rather than child, Natalie noticed. That was probably something to be grateful for. Meredith would have been getting angrier the longer she thought about Evie, so in the time between her writing the note and her phoning Natalie, Evie had changed from a girl to a child. Whatever that meant, Natalie thought. Not that she especially cared.

  She read the note again, and wanted to sigh. All Meredith’s financial papers were still in her office. When they’d separated, and sold their house, Meredith had still been in the middle of her affair and couldn’t be bothered sorting things out property. She’d left it to Natalie to divide their possessions, and to pack, and had left things like her papers behind. The apartment Natalie lived in now had been their city flat, a place to sleep if either of them were working late, or couldn’t be bothered with traffic, to save them driving home. Natalie had moved in, and taken all their papers with her, and that was turning out to be a mistake. Sometimes, it seemed like quite a serious one.

  Natalie looked at Evie, still expecting Evie to finish a paragraph and then talk to her, but Evie didn’t. After a while Natalie realised Evie hadn’t turned a page in several minutes. In fact, not since Natalie had walked in.

  Natalie decided she ought to make sure Evie wasn’t upset.

  “I hear you met Meredith,” she said.

  “Yep,” Evie said.

  “Are you all right?”

  Evie nodded. “There’s a note.”

  “Yes,” Natalie said. “I’m reading it…”

  Evie looked up. “Oh yeah.”

  Natalie held the note out, and Evie took it. After a moment, she said, “I didn’t read it.”

  “I assumed not,” Natalie said. It seemed exactly how Evie would be.

  “She’s kind of full of herself, isn’t she?” Evie said.

  Natalie hesitated. “She was upset. She didn’t know about you.”

  “Oh,” Evie said, and then seemed to think. “Why would she need to know about me?”

  “I don’t know, actually. Because we were together so long, I suppose.”

  “That doesn’t make sense.”

  “Probably not. It’s just seems to be what people do.”

  “She left you, though,” Evie said.

  “She did.”

  “So why would she need
to know?”

  “I really have no idea,” Natalie said. She took off her jacket, and draped it over a chair. She sat down beside Evie, close enough to touch her arm. “Is everything okay?”

  Evie nodded.

  “Are you sure?”

  “She was being rude,” Evie said. “She was trying to push her way in here.”

  “I imagine.”

  “And talking down to me.”

  “Yes,” Natalie said. “I know. I mean, I imagine that’s exactly how she would be.”

  “She was doing it on purpose,” Evie said. “She was trying to let me know I’m not part of your real grown-up life. And that I never will be.”

  Natalie looked at Evie, surprised. “You worked that out?”

  “It was kind of obvious,” Evie said. Then she grinned. “Oh look. I’m perceptive. Well fuck me.”

  Natalie leaned over and kissed her.

  “She cheated on you,” Evie said, into Natalie’s mouth.

  “I know,” Natalie said. She kissed for a moment, thinking, and then realized. “Oh. Are you sticking up for me?”

  “I think so. A bit.”

  “I’m over her.”

  “Good. You should be.”

  “I’m over what she did too.”

  “You shouldn’t be over that.”

  Natalie sat back, and looked at Evie, trying to decide how serious she was. She seemed sincere. She seemed angry, almost, on Natalie’s behalf.

  “I think you care more about it than I do,” Natalie said.

  Evie shrugged. “Maybe.”

  “She’s just hurt, that’s all. She’ll calm down.”

  “Calm down?” Evie said, apparently surprised.

  Natalie nodded.

  “Why should she need to calm down? She left you, so…”

  Natalie waited.

  “I don’t know,” Evie said. “She’s in the wrong, so why do you have to be nice while she calms down.”

  Natalie shrugged. “I don’t know.”

  “That doesn’t make sense.”

  “It doesn’t have to make sense.”

  “She pisses me off,” Evie said. “A lot.”

  “I know. She pisses me off too. But try to stay calm, it’ll just be easier.”

  “Why easier?” Evie said.

  “It just is. We’re both lawyers,” Natalie corrected herself. “We’re all lawyers. Everyone knows everyone. It’s just easier not to let her upset you.”

  “But she left you,” Evie said. “She deserves…”

  “Please? For me?”

  Evie didn’t answer.

  “Please?” Natalie said.

  Evie shrugged, and looked back to her books, which Natalie decided was begrudging agreement. She kissed Evie again, and went to change out of her work clothes, and was glad everything seemed to be all right.

  *

  Natalie got changed, and then sat on the couch with wine while Evie finished up what she was reading. Then they cooked together, which was nice, even though cooking together mostly meant Evie, quite bossily, telling Natalie what to cut up next. Natalie chopped vegetables, and Evie stir-fried them, and it felt comfortable. It felt like what they needed after a day like it had been.

  Natalie was still thinking about Meredith, though, in a vaguely worried and irritated way. She wanted to be sure Evie wasn’t upset, and more importantly, she needed to warn Evie that Meredith might be back tomorrow, or at least ask how much Evie minded if Meredith was. Natalie wasn’t sure how to start, how to bring it up, so as they ate she just said, “I had three phone calls today from people telling me how horrible I’m being to Meredith.”

  Evie thought for a moment then said, “Horrible how? You haven’t done anything.”

  Natalie shrugged.

  “Oh,” Evie said, and sipped her water. “So she told people? Isn’t that a bit… I don’t know… Odd? Doesn’t it remind everyone she’s an awful person?”

  “She won’t think so.”

  “Obviously not.”

  “I don’t know who she told,” Natalie said. “I mean, I assume she told one person who told ten, most likely.”

  “Of course,” Evie said, and started to grin. “And the part about her being an awful person…?”

  “I’m ignoring that part,” Natalie said. “Stop grinning.”

  “I’m not,” Evie said. “I stopped. So what people? Like all your friends? That ones we never do anything with?”

  Natalie nodded. “My old friends, yes. Who haven’t talked to me in years and probably still tell her she’s right to have done what she did.”

  Natalie hadn’t meant to sound miserable, and didn’t think she had, but Evie looked at her as if she thought Natalie was upset, and was wondering what to say.

  “I’m fine,” Natalie said. “Don’t look like that.”

  Evie nodded. “So that bothers you?” she said. “People taking her side?”

  “A bit, yes.”

  “I’m sorry,” Evie said. “That it happened.”

  “Don’t be. I’m fine. And it means that now there’s you.”

  “Yep,” Evie said, and smiled. She spiked a green bean on her fork, and ate it, then said, “I suppose they might think you’re paying her back or something. These people who’re taking sides and talking about you. They might think you’re paying her back by being with me, if you see what I mean.”

  “They might,” Natalie said, and then, in case it needed saying, “I’m not.”

  “I know.”

  “Good.”

  Evie ate another bean. She had pushed all the green beans to the side of her bowl, and seemed to be eating them last, after the noodles and other vegetables. “So are you upset about all this?” Evie said. “What I did this morning, I mean?”

  Natalie shook her head.

  “Really you aren’t? Or you think you ought not be.”

  Natalie looked at Evie, surprised.

  “Perceptive,” Evie said. “Remember? So…?”

  “I’m not really upset.”

  “So you are a little?”

  “Perhaps a little. Until now I’ve always tried to keep things… calm with her.”

  “You shouldn’t do that,” Evie said.

  Natalie shrugged, and didn’t answer. She didn’t especially want to explain. It had always been easier not to confront Meredith, just like it was usually easier to avoid confronting anyone. It was easier to be nice, and keep everyone happy, which Natalie didn’t think Evie understood. She didn’t think Evie would even want to understand, and wasn’t sure she wanted to argue about it either, so instead she stayed quiet, and didn’t speak. Avoiding confrontation with Evie the way she did everyone else, she thought, which was probably somehow funny, but she was who she was, and at least with Evie she was doing it knowingly, so that probably wasn’t so terrible.

  Evie was quiet for a time too. She ate slowly, watching Natalie. “Sorry,” she said, suddenly.

  “What for?” Natalie said.

  “I just realized I was… I don’t know. Criticising.”

  “You weren’t, not really,” Natalie said. “It’s fine.”

  “Something’s wrong.”

  Natalie shook her head.

  “It feels like something is,” Evie said.

  “We don’t need to talk about this. I should have brought it up.”

  “Maybe we should anyway.”

  “We really don’t…”

  “Just tell, please. I did something wrong, so tell me what?”

  “It’s nothing,” Natalie said, but then, because that had been bothering her all day. “Did you really have to provoke Meredith? Did you have to open the door half naked?”

  “What?” Evie said. “I wasn’t half naked.”

  “She said you were.”

  “Oh. Well, I wasn’t.”

  Natalie felt awful. She should have asked, rather than assumed. Assuming and then getting upset was exactly what Meredith would have done. It was what Natalie probably would have used to do
too, from some ingrained habit, the whole time she’d been with Meredith. Apparently she still did when she wasn’t being careful, and she really ought to stop.

  “I’m sorry,” Natalie said. “Forget it. Never mind.”

  Evie seemed upset. “I really wasn’t,” she said. “I had shorts, and…”

  “I know,” Natalie said. “I mean, yes, I believe you. I’m agreeing. So I’m sorry and never mind.”

  “Oh,” Evie said. She thought for a moment. “I don’t understand why you care so much about her and what she does,” she said. “I mean, is all of this bad for you at work or something?”

  “Not really, no. Not at work.”

  “And you don’t have the same friends any more.”

  “I don’t have any friends.”

  Evie leaned over, and lifted her Natalie’s hand, and kissed it quickly. “You have me.”

  “Thank you.”

  “Are we fighting?” Evie said.

  “Of course not.”

  “Because you seem upset.”

  “Not upset. Just… regretting it happened this way.”

  “Because she’s found out about me?”

  “Not really,” Natalie said, uncertain herself. “Not at all, actually. I suppose I’d just hoped to tell people in my own time, not like this. Even though I hadn’t been doing as much telling as I could have.”

  “That’s all?”

  Natalie looked at Evie.

  “You aren’t angry that I was rude to her?” Evie said.

  Natalie shrugged. “I’d rather you didn’t fight with Meredith, but if you must, then go ahead.”

  “I might. I mean, I don’t like her, so if that isn’t okay…”

  “Of course it is. If you must. Why wouldn’t it be?”

  “I don’t know. I didn’t think about it until a little while ago. I didn’t realise it was a problem until you came home tonight. Then I was suddenly scared you were going to tell me to get out or something.”

  Natalie was shocked. “God, Evie, of course not.”

  “Oh,” Evie said, then, “Really?”