Evie's Job

by Tess Mackenzie

  “Because if they don’t,” Evie said. “Then that pretty much settles whether I’m good enough to work there, doesn’t it?”

  Natalie didn’t want to answer that. “Why didn’t you say something?” she said instead.

  “In case you got tempted to interfere. Obviously.”

  Natalie wasn’t sure she liked that implication.

  “And you never actually asked,” Evie said quickly. “I just didn’t mention it. I sent off a lot of them, and that just happened to be one.”

  Natalie wasn’t sure that was as completely innocent as it sounded.

  “Well, I’m telling you now,” Evie said. “And you’re too late to help, was my point. I already sent it. So your committee will decide, and let me know, and I’ll probably get turned down. So can we stop talking about this now, please?”

  “But you aren’t happy with your CV,” Natalie said, a little desperately. “You just finished saying you weren’t…”

  Evie looked at her.

  “At least let me give them another copy,” Natalie said. “One you’re happy with?”

  “All they care about is marks, remember? Nothing else.”

  Natalie looked at her.

  “That’s what you told me,” Evie said.

  “For fuck’s sake,” Natalie said, irritated. “There’s times I could…”

  Evie grinned, smug. She seemed quite pleased with herself. For her little revelation, Natalie supposed, and for surprising Natalie. She apparently hadn’t realized she’d entirely proved Natalie’s point.

  “Are you really annoyed?” Evie said, after a moment, trying not to grin.

  “Yes,” Natalie said. Then, relenting, “No.”

  Evie leaned forward, and kissed Natalie. “Well I still like you anyway.”

  Natalie glared at her. “You’re a bit too clever sometimes,” she said.

  “I know.”

  Natalie sighed.

  *

  Natalie thought for a moment about what Evie was doing. She didn’t necessarily want to change Evie’s mind, but she did want Evie to understand what was being offered, and what she was giving up.

  “This really isn’t a good idea,” Natalie said. “Not letting me help.”

  “I know. You said.”

  “It really isn’t.”

  “I heard,” Evie said. “Both times. All the times. Why do you care so much?”

  “I care about you.”

  Evie leaned over and kissed Natalie again. “Good. And thank you. But why so much about this particularly? Does it really matter how long I take to find a job? I mean, do you actually care?”

  “I don’t know,” Natalie said. She’d been wondering that herself. She was noticing herself being more insistent than she usually was, and wasn’t quite sure why. “I suppose it seems a waste,” she said. “That’s all.”

  “A waste not to take advantage of you?”

  Natalie hesitated. “I suppose so, yes.”

  “Because that’s what it is,” Evie said. “Taking advantage. Exactly like Meredith thinks I’ll do.”

  “Why does Meredith have anything to do with…”

  “Because she thinks I will. She thinks that’s why I’m with you.”

  “Oh,” Natalie said, understanding. “Is that why you don’t want…”

  Evie shrugged. “A little perhaps, yes.”

  A lot suddenly made sense to Natalie, as Evie explained. Evie’s reluctance to accept help, and her insistence on doing this her way. It wouldn’t all be because of Meredith, Natalie thought. It would be as much Evie’s determination to find a job on her own, and her desire to prove herself, but it probably didn’t help that Meredith had made it seem awful for her to ask for Natalie’s help. Once the idea had been planted, it had probably stuck, even if it didn’t entirely make sense. Worse, because it was Meredith saying it, everything would just seem worse. Of course Evie couldn’t accept Natalie’s offer to help, not if she felt like Meredith was watching and judging her.

  Natalie didn’t know what to do. It had been awful of Meredith to say that to Evie, and doubly awful if it was causing this reaction now. Natalie was starting to get very sick of Meredith’s constant interference in her life.

  “Forget Meredith,” Natalie said. “She’s horrible. She’s cruel. She just doesn’t matter in this at all.”

  “Unless she’s right. Then she does.”

  “She isn’t,” Natalie said. “She isn’t right at all. What matters is it’s a waste of your talent for you not to try as completely as you can, with every advantage you can.”

  “Talent?” Evie said. “Yeah right.”

  Natalie didn’t understand. “Yes, talent,” she said. “You’re good at this.”

  “I’m really not…”

  “Yes, Evie, you are.”

  Evie didn’t seem to believe that. She sat there looking dismissive, and then shrugged again.

  “You are,” Natalie said. “I promise. Look how much you read.”

  “I don’t…”

  “You read a lot. More than I ever did. And you argue well, too.”

  “Okay,” Evie said. “So?”

  “So that matters. That means you’ll probably be a good lawyer.”

  “I don’t know,” Evie said. She seemed uncomfortable, and a little stubborn. As if she was going to keep on disagreeing, as if she just didn’t want to hear what Natalie was saying. She probably didn’t want to hear it, Natalie realized. She probably would keep disagreeing, and probably wouldn’t notice herself doing it.

  “For god’s sake,” Natalie said, unsure how to make Evie see herself as Natalie saw her. “You’re going to be good at this. I promise you will. Please stop running yourself down.”

  Evie looked at her, and shrugged, and looked away.

  Natalie thought she understood. Evie didn’t like being praised, and especially not about important things like work. She was fine if Natalie said her hair looked nice, or the dinner tasted good, or something else trivial. She was happy with everyday praise, but not compliments about important things like her study or her work. Natalie understood. She’d always felt a little the same. She’d always needed to win cases and get her partnership to prove to herself she was capable, rather than just hearing it from someone who already liked her, and might let that sway their views.

  Natalie had always needed the certainty of work and success, and she couldn’t fault Evie for feeling the same. She couldn’t fault Evie for her feelings, but she still wanted her to change her mind, and Evie bringing Meredith into the conversation suddenly gave Natalie an idea how.

  “You can deal with Meredith,” Natalie said. “That matters. That’s more than most of the barristers in Sydney can do. That alone would get you a job in any of the big firms.”

  “Yeah right, that isn’t true…”

  “Actually it almost is.”

  Evie thought for a moment. “Oh yeah? And how are they supposed to know I can deal with Meredith?”

  “God, I don’t know,” Natalie said, slightly exasperated. “Put her down as a referee. When they ask her and she starts swearing, they’ll get the general idea.”

  Evie looked at Natalie. “I think you’re joking, but I’m not completely sure.”

  “I’m joking. Mostly. But being able to deal with her… that does mean something. It says something important about you. You can argue when you’re put on the spot. You can stand up for yourself when you’re intimidated by someone. That matters, I promise. It’s about all you have to do in a meeting with the tax office about a client’s audit.”

  Evie suddenly seemed to be thinking. “I suppose so,” she said.

  “And anyone else would take any advantage they were offered. Everyone else will be. All the people competing for jobs with you, they’ll be using their families and school friends and whatever else they have.”

  “Customers from that one time they tried prostitution?”

  “Probably,” Natalie said, unsure if she should smile or not. “If
they did.”

  Evie thought. “I know,” she said. “And it isn’t taking advantage of things I care about, not really. It’s taking advantage of you. Because I’d use them, if I had any of those other things. I just don’t want to do that with you.”

  “Please,” Natalie said. “I don’t mind. Just let me say something quietly to someone…”

  “No,” Evie said. “Just no.”

  “Quietly?” Natalie said. “Please?”

  “No,” Evie said, beginning to sound irritated.

  *

  Natalie sighed. She was ready to give up. Especially if this whole conversation was just going to cause a fight. She felt as if she was trying to change Evie’s mind at the same time as completely understanding Evie’s concerns. She felt like she was pressing Evie more than she was comfortable with, too. She just wanted to help, and she didn’t really mind how. She wanted to help in fairly much any way Evie needed her to. If that meant not helping at all, then that was what she would do.

  It was certainly starting to seem like that might be best.

  There was one last thing she wanted to say, Natalie decided. One thing she wanted Evie to hear, and then she would just stop.

  “All right,” Natalie said. “This is my last try. Then I’ll shut up.”

  “Okay,” Evie said, warily.

  “You said you don’t want special help, yes?”

  Evie nodded.

  “Then fine,” Natalie said “Don’t see this as special, as me helping you unfairly. See it as you having been being interviewed all along.”

  Evie thought. “How do you mean?”

  “I know you pretty well,” Natalie said. “I feel like I do. I mean, do you think that’s fair enough?”

  “I hope it is.”

  “Well there you go,” Natalie said. “Every word you’ve ever spoken to me, all the study you ever did while I was around, everything I’ve ever found out about you, that’s your interview. So you’ve been interviewed and you’ve convinced me. So let me help you get a job.”

  Evie sat where she was, looking at Natalie. She didn’t speak. She seemed suspicious, but seemed to be considering it, too. Natalie was pleased by that.

  “Well?” Natalie said, after a moment. “What do you think?”

  “I think it almost makes a stupid kind of sense.”

  “Oh,” Natalie said. “Well, good.”

  “Don’t look so proud of yourself. I said almost. And a stupid kind of sense.”

  “But even so. You’ll let me help?”

  “What?” Evie said. “No, of course not.”

  “But you just said…”

  “That it almost makes sense, yes. But that doesn’t actually change anything.”

  Natalie sighed, disappointed. She should give up, she told herself. She shouldn’t keep pressing Evie. She was almost ready to, but she tried again anyway. “Please,” she said, suspecting it was unwise. “Can’t you just let me…”

  “No,” Evie said.

  “Please?”

  “I thought that was your last try…”

  “This is my last now. Please? For me?”

  “No. And stop.”

  “I just…”

  “Why’s no so hard to understand?”

  “It isn’t…”

  “Except I keep saying no and you just don’t seem to listen. So no. Again.”

  Natalie suddenly realized what she was doing. Evie was completely right, she was ignoring Evie’s decision, and Evie’s irritation was perfectly reasonable. “I’ll stop,” Natalie said. “I’m sorry. I won’t mention any of it again.”

  “Thank you.”

  Natalie stood there for a moment, but couldn’t help herself. “Fuck,” she said. “I’m sorry, but are you absolutely sure?”

  “Yes. Absolutely.”

  “You’ve absolutely decided you don’t want any help?”

  “Yes. Ages ago. Like I keep saying.”

  “Then all right,” Natalie said, finally giving up. “That’s fine. Thank you for letting me try.”

  “What’s fine?”

  “Everything is. Your decision is. I give up. I’ll stop asking. If you’re not interested, then there’s no point pestering you, is there?”

  “Probably not,” Evie said.

  “Even though you could still change your mind…”

  “I won’t.”

  “You could if you wanted to, that’s all I mean. So tell me if you do. Please?”

  “Yep,” Evie said. “I will if I do, as long as you don’t keep asking me if I have.”

  “I wasn’t going to.”

  “Sure you weren’t. But just in case, please don’t.”

  “I won’t,” Natalie said. “I promise.”

  “Thank you,” Evie said, and sat there for a moment. “So that’s settled? We’re finished?”

  “I think we are.”

  “And you definitely won’t say anything to anyone?”

  Natalie was confused. “About what?”

  “About this, of course. You won’t try and help me anyway, without me knowing?”

  “Of course not,” Natalie said.

  Evie nodded. She actually seemed slightly relieved.

  “Why,” Natalie said, suddenly worried. “Did you think…?” She stopped.

  “That you would? I don’t know. You’ve been being kind of intense…”

  “Of course I wouldn’t,” Natalie said, a little hurt. “Never. I already told you I won’t, so I won’t. Not unless you tell me I can.”

  “Well, good,” Evie said. “Thank you. I was just making sure.”

  “I said I wouldn’t,” Natalie repeated.

  “Yep. So don’t.”

  “Obviously,” Natalie said. “I understand. You don’t need to talk to me like that, though.”

  Evie looked at her for a moment, still seeming angry, but then, quite suddenly, she sighed. “Yeah,” she said. “I’m sorry. I’m just feeling kind of pressured right now. Like you’re trying to make me change my mind.”

  “I’m not. Trying to make you change it.”

  “You so are.”

  “No,” Natalie said. “I just want to make sure you think this through.”

  “Well that’s convenient.”

  Natalie looked at her.

  “I don’t know…” Evie said. “It’s kind of the same thing from where I am, that’s all.”

  Natalie nodded. She supposed it was. “Well, sorry,” she said. “Sorry to pressure you.”

  “Sorry to be stubborn,” Evie said, and grinned. She sat there for a moment, apparently still thinking. “I know I’m being difficult,” she said. “But just let me try, okay? Let me see if I can do this on my own.”

  “Of course.”

  “I want to try myself,” Evie said. “I absolutely want to try on my own. But after that, if I can’t get something, then we’ll see, okay? Maybe then you could help if you absolutely had to. If you still want to by then.”

  “I will,” Natalie said. “I do.”

  “Good,” Evie said. “Happy now?”

  “I was always happy with whatever you decided.”

  “Liar,” Evie said.

  Natalie shrugged. It was probably true. “I can live with that,” she said instead.

  “Okay,” Evie said. “So are we done?”

  “I hope so.”

  “Well, I think we are too,” Evie said. “So we are. Thank fuck. And no more fighting about this. Please?”

  Natalie nodded, and took Evie’s hand, and squeezed it gently for a moment. Evie smiled, and kissed Natalie back, and that seemed to be that. Ending a fight with Evie was very easy, Natalie thought. Even if it hadn’t been a proper fight.

  “Weren’t you making tea?” Evie said.

  “I was.”

  “Are you still?”

  Natalie was puzzled. “I was going to. Why?”

  “Can I have some too, please? I’m kind of dry from talking.”

  “Of course,” Natalie said, but didn�
��t move. She kept looking at Evie.

  “What’s wrong?” Evie said, after a moment. “You’re kind of staring.”

  “Nothing particular.”

  “Nothing except it’s fun to stare?”

  Natalie shrugged. “Just, I like you a lot.”

  “Well, I like you too.”

  “Well good. I think that works for everyone then.”

  Natalie leaned over, and kissed Evie, and then remembered she was meant to be making tea. She put her hand on the kettle. It had cooled enough to need boiling again. She switched it back on, and stood there waiting.

  Evie was still watching her.

  “What?” Natalie said.

  Evie shrugged. “Just you,” she said.

  Natalie kissed her some more. They kept kissing. After a while, the kettle switched itself off.

  “That’s getting cold again,” Evie said.

  “Don’t really care,” Natalie said.

  A little later they went to bed.

  26: Evie

  After all the fuss, and bother, and arguments, in the end getting an interview turned out to be far easier than Evie had expected. Perhaps it was her marks. Perhaps it was obsessively rewriting her application letters for a week. Whatever the reason, and to Evie’s great surprise, she was offered two interviews almost right away.

  She was actually offered both on the same day.

  One was at the head office of a major bank, in their legal services department. It was one of the backup applications she’d sent out, just in case. It wasn’t a perfect job, it wasn’t working in a prestigious firm, but it was a job doing law, and that was more than some people in her class would get. It was good news, and she was happy with it. She about to start celebrating, when she got the second interview offer.

  That offer was from Natalie’s firm.

  Evie was surprised to get that call. So surprised she almost demanded the human resources manager explain why they’d picked her. She managed to make herself not, just in time. As far as she knew Natalie hadn’t interfered, and it might spoil everything if she started being bizarrely suspicious at a stranger who was just calling to give her good news. The human resources manager asked Evie to come in the next day, apologising for the short notice, and Evie said yes, of course she would, and thank you, she’d be there tomorrow. Then she spent an hour going through Natalie’s wardrobe in a panic, taking everything out and putting it back, trying to decide what to borrow to wear.