Complete Works of Plautus
Page 72
SOPHOCLIDISCA
But I’m forbidden to tell this to any person, and am instructed that all the dumb people are to speak of it before myself.
PÆG.
And most especially was I cautioned not to trust this to any person, so that all the dumb people were to mention this before myself.
SOPHOCLIDISCA
Still, do you do so; on giving our words, let’s trust each other.
PÆG.
I know this — all procuresses are light of faith, and the weight of a water-gnat is not more light than is the word of a procurer.
SOPHOCLIDISCA
Tell me, there’s a dear.
PÆG.
Tell me, there’s a dear.
SOPHOCLIDISCA
I don’t want to be your dear.
PÆG.
You’ll easily prevail upon me in that.
SOPHOCLIDISCA
Keep it yourself.
PÆG.
And you be mum about this. Showing her a letter.
SOPHOCLIDISCA
It shall be kept a secret.
PÆG.
It shall not be known. She shows him a letter.
SOPHOCLIDISCA
I’m carrying this letter to Toxilus, your master.
PÆG.
Be off; he’s there at home. And I am carrying this pinewood tablet sealed, to Lemniselene, your mistress.
SOPHOCLIDISCA
What’s written there.
PÆG.
If you don’t know, pretty much like yourself, I don’t know, except soft words, perhaps.
SOPHOCLIDISCA
I’m off.
PÆG.
And I’ll be off.
SOPHOCLIDISCA
Move on then. They go into the respective houses.
Enter SAGARISTO.
SAGARISTIO
to himself . To Jove the opulent, the renowned, the son of Ops, the strong, the mighty in power, who riches, hopes, kind plenty does bestow, joyously and gratefully do I offer the sacrifice of thanksgiving, inasmuch as in a friendly way they have bestowed for my friend this opportunity of satisfying his necessity and of borrowing the money, so that I can lend him aid in his need. Whereas I no more dreamed, or thought, or imagined that I should have this opportunity — that same has now fallen from heaven as it were. For my master has sent me to Eretria; he has given me the money to purchase some trained oxen for him; but he said that the fair would take place seven days hence; a simpleton to trust this money to me whose propensity he knew; for this money I shall misapply in some other purpose: there were no oxen for me to buy. Now I’ll both promote the success of my friend, and will give my inclination full enjoyment. The pleasures that belong to a long time will I serve up in a single day. Crack, crack it will be upon my back; I don’t care. Now, to a person that is my friend I shall present these trained oxen from out of my purse; for this, in fact, is a delightful thing, handsomely to bite your thrice-dotted niggardly, antiquated, covetous, spiritless people, who against their servant seal up the saltcellar with the salt. It’s a virtue, when occasion prompts, to hold them in contempt. What will he do to me? He’ll order me to be beaten with stripes, the fetters to be put on. I may get a beating. Don’t let him fancy that I shall go begging to him. Woe be unto him! Nothing new can now be inflicted upon me but what I have already experienced it. But see, here comes Pægnium, Toxilus’s boy.
Enter PÆGNIUM, from the house of DORDALUS.
PÆG.
to himself . My task that was set me I’ve finished; now I’m hastening home.
SAGARISTIO
Stop, although you are in haste — Pægnium, listen to me.
PÆG.
You ought to buy a person, for you to desire to be obedient to you. Moves on.
SAGARISTIO
Stop there, I say.
PÆG.
You’d be giving some trouble, I fancy, if I were to be owing you anything, who are now so troublesome.
SAGARISTIO
You rascal, will you look back then?
PÆG.
I am aware of what age I am; for that reason you shall get off for this abuse with impunity.
SAGARISTIO
Where is Toxilus, your master?
PÆG.
Wherever he pleases, and he don’t ask your advice.
SAGARISTIO
Won’t you tell me, then, where he is, you villain?
PÆG.
I don’t know, I say, you elm-twig spoiler.
SAGARISTIO
You are abusive to your senior.
PÆG.
As you deserved it first, do you put up with it. My master bade me hold my labour at his bidding, my tongue in freedom.
SAGARISTIO
Will you not tell me, where is Toxilus?
PÆG.
I tell you that — you may go to perdition everlasting.
SAGARISTIO
This day you shall be flogged with a rope’s end.
PÆG.
On your account, indeed, you cuckoo! I’ faith, you carrion, if I were to give you a broken head, I shouldn’t be afraid of that.
SAGARISTIO
I understand you, you’ve been up to some bad work just now.
PÆG.
So I have. What business is that to you? But I haven’t, like yourself, all for nothing.
SAGARISTIO
Assurance!
PÆG.
I’ faith, I certainly am; for I am assured that I shall be free; don’t be hoping that you’ll ever be so.
SAGARISTIO
Can’t you cease your impertinence?
PÆG.
That which you are mentioning, you can’t do yourself.
SAGARISTIO
Away with you to utter perdition.
PÆG.
And off home with you; for there it’s all ready prepared for you.
SAGARISTIO
He summons me on my recognizances.
PÆG.
I only wish the sureties may be out of the way, so that you may get to prison.
SAGARISTIO
Why’s this?
PÆG.
Aye, why is it?
SAGARISTIO
Still abusing me, rascal?
PÆG.
Why, inasmuch as you are a slave, it ought at least to be allowed a slave to abuse you.
SAGARISTIO
And is it so? Just look holding up his fist what I shall give you.
PÆG.
Nothing; for nothing have you.
SAGARISTIO
May all the Gods and Goddesses confound me, if I don’t this very day, if I lay hold of you, fell you to the ground with blows.
PÆG.
I am your friend; I trust that what you wish may befall you, and that it may come to pass; if you fell me, may others make you feel yourself fixed to the cross before long.
SAGARISTIO
But you may the Gods and Goddesses —— You understand what I was going to say after that, if I hadn’t been able to restrain my tongue. Can’t you be off?
PÆG.
You drive me off with ease; for already my shadow’s getting a whipping in-doors. Goes into the house.
SAGARISTIO
to himself . May the Gods and Goddesses confound that fellow! just like a crawling serpent he has got a double tongue, and is a wicked one. Upon my faith, I’m glad he’s gone. Going towards the door. Open, you door. But look! he’s coming from within, the person that I most especially wished to meet with.
Enter TOXILUS, from his MASTER’S house, followed by SOPHOCLIDISCA.
TOXILUS
to SOPHOCLIDISCA . Tell her that it’s now arranged whence the money is to come. Bid her be of good heart; tell her that I love her exceedingly. When she cheers up, then does she cheer me up. What I’ve told you to tell her, do you quite understand it?
SOPHOCLIDISCA
Better than your legs under-stand you, do I understand it.
TOXILUS
Make all haste, be off home. SOPHOCLIDISC
A goes into the house of DORDALUS.
SAGARISTIO
apart . Now I’ll make myself a perfect droll towards him; I’ll carry myself with arms a-kimbo, and assume a lordly air. Struts along.
TOXILUS
But who’s this that’s walking like a two-handled jug?
SAGARISTIO
apart . I’ll spit about me in a dignified style. Spits about.
TOXILUS
Why, surely this is Sagaristio. How are you, Sagaristio? How do you do? Is there any tiny hope in you as to that which I entrusted to you?
SAGARISTIO
in a lofty way . Step this way; it shall be seen to; I would have it done. Advance — move forward.
TOXILUS
What’s this swelling here upon your neck? Touches his neck.
SAGARISTIO
It’s a tumour; forbear to press it, for when any person touches it with a rude hand, pain is the result.
TOXILUS
When did that first come upon you?
SAGARISTIO
To-day.
TOXILUS
You should order it to be lanced.
SAGARISTIO
I’m afraid to lance it before it’s ripe, lest it should cause me more trouble.
TOXILUS
I’d like to examine your complaint. Comes nearer.
SAGARISTIO
retreatinq . Be off, and do be careful, will you, of the horns. TOX. Why so?
SAGARISTIO
Because a couple of oxen are here in the purse.
TOXILUS
Do let them out, please; don’t starve them with hunger — do let them go to pasture.
SAGARISTIO
Why, I’m afraid that I mayn’t be able to drive them back to their stall, lest they should wander.
TOXILUS
I’ll drive them back; be of good heart,
SAGARISTIO
You shall be trusted then; I’ll lend them you Follow this way, please taking the purse from his neck ; in this there is the money which you were asking me for a short time since.
TOXILUS
What is it you say?
SAGARISTIO
My master has sent me to Eretria to purchase some oxen; at present my Eretria shall be this house of yours.
TOXILUS
You speak quite enchantingly; and I shall very soon return you all the money safe; for now I’ve arranged and put in readiness all my devices, in which way I’m to get this money out of this Procurer.
SAGARISTIO
So much the better.
TOXILUS
Both for the damsel to be set at liberty, and, still further, for himself to pay the money. But follow me; I have need of your assistance in this affair.
SAGARISTIO
Make use of it just as you please. They go into the house.
ACT III.
Enter SATURIO and his DAUGHTER, in the habit of a PERSIAN.
SATURIO
May this same matter turn out well for me, and for yourself, and for my stomach, and for everlasting victuals for it as well for all time to come; that I may have more than enough, a superfluity, and that it may outlast me. Follow me this way, my daughter, with the Gods’ good leave. The matter to which we are to give our attention, you know, you remember, you understand; to you I have communicated all my designs. For that reason have I dressed you out after this fashion; young woman, to-day you are to be sold.
DAU.
Prithee, my dear father, although you do eagerly long for victuals at another’s cost, are you for the sake of your appetite going to sell your own daughter?
SATURIO
It is a wonder, indeed, if I don’t sell you, who are my own, for the sake of King Philip or Attalus, rather than my own.
DAU.
Whether do you regard me as your slave or as your daughter?
SATURIO
I’ faith, that of the two which shall appear most for the interest of my stomach; it’s my authority over you, I suppose, not yours over me.
DAU.
This power is yours, father; but still, although our circumstances are but very limited, it’s better to pass our lives with frugality and moderation; for if disgrace is added to poverty, poverty will be more unendurable, our character more frail.
SATURIO
Why really you are impertinent.
DAU.
I am not, nor do I think that I am, when, though of youthful age, I give good advice to my father. For enemies carry about slander not in the form in which it took its rise.
SATURIO
Let them carry it about, and let them go to utter and extreme perdition. I don’t value all their enmities any more than if an empty table were now set before me.
DAU.
Father, the scandal of men is everlasting; even then does it survive, when you would suppose it to be dead.
SATURIO
What? Are you afraid lest I should sell you?
DAU.
I am not afraid of that, father; but I wish you not to pretend to do so.
SATURIO
Then it’s in vain you wish me not; this shall be done rather after my own fashion than yours.
DAU.
Shall be done!
SATURIO
What is the matter, now?
DAU.
Father, reflect upon these words: if a master has threatened punishment to a slave, although it is not intended to be, still, when the whip is taken up, while he is taking off his tunics, with what an amount of misery is he afflicted. Now, that which is not to be, I’m still in fear of.
SATURIO
Damsel or woman none will there ever be, but what she must be good for nothing, who is too wise to be giving satisfaction to her parents.
DAU.
Damsel and woman none can there be, but what she must be good for nothing, who holds her peace if she sees anything going on wrong.
SATURIO
‘Twere better for you to beware of a mischief.
DAU.
But if I cannot beware, what am I to do? For it’s as to yourself I wish to beware.
SATURIO
What, am I a mischief?
DAU.
You are not, nor is it becoming for me to say so; but for this purpose am I using my endeavours, that others may not say so who have that liberty.
SATURIO
Let each one say what he pleases; from this purpose I shall not be moved.
DAU.
But, could it be after my own way, you would be acting prudently, rather than foolishly.
SATURIO
It is my pleasure.
DAU.
I know that I must let it be your pleasure so far as I’m concerned; but it should not please you to be your pleasure, if I had my way.
SATURIO
Are you going to be obedient to your father’s orders, or not?
DAU.
To be obedient.
SATURIO
Do you know then what I instructed you?
DAU.
Everything.
SATURIO
Both this, how you were stolen?
DAU.
I understand it perfectly well.
SATURIO
And who your parents were?
DAU.
I keep it in my memory. You cause me of necessity to be artful; but take you care, when you wish to give me in marriage, that this story doesn’t cause the match to be given up.
SATURIO
Hold your tongue, simpleton. Do you not see the customs of people now-a-days, that marriage is easily effected here with a reputation of any kind? So long as there’s a marriage-portion, no fault is reckoned as a fault.
DAU.
Then take you care, and let this occur to your thoughts, that I am without a fortune.
SATURIO
Take you care, please, how you say that. By my faith, through the merits of the Gods and of my ancestors I’ll say it, you must not say that you are without a fortune, who have a marriage-portion at home. Why
look, I’ve got a whole carriage-full of books at home. If you carefully give your attention to this matter in which we are exerting ourselves, six hundred bon-mots shall be given you out of them as a fortune, all Attic ones, too; you shall not receive a single Sicilian one. With this for a fortune, you might safely marry a beggar even.
DAU.
Why, then, don’t you take me, father, if you are going to take me anywhere? Either do you sell me, or do with me what you please.
SATURIO
You ask what’s fair and right. Follow me this way.
DAU.
I’m obedient to your command. They go into the house, to TOXILUS.
Enter DORDALUS, from his house.
DORDALUS
to himself . I wonder what I’m to say my neighbour is going to do, who swore to me that he would pay the money to-day? But if he should not pay it, and this day go by, I shall have forfeited the money, he his oath. But the door there makes a noise. I wonder who’s coming out of doors?
Enter TOXILUS, from his MASTER’S house, with a purse in his hand.
TOXILUS
speaking at the door to the PERSONS within . Take you care of that in-doors; I shall betake myself home just now.
DORDALUS
Toxilus, how are you?
TOXILUS
How now! — pimping filth mixed up with mud! How now! — public dung-heap! dirty, dishonest, lawless, enticer, disgrace to the public; you hawk after money, greedy and envious; you impudent, rapacious, craving fellow (in three hundred lines no person could run through your villanies), will you take the money? Holding out the purse. Take the money, will you, shameless fellow. Take hold of the money, will you. Are you going to take the money, then? Can I make you take the money, filth? Keeps moving it away. You didn’t suppose that I should have had so much money — you, who didn’t venture to trust me at all except upon oath?
DORDALUS
Do let me recover breath, so as to give you an answer. Fellow, dregs of the populace, you stable for she-slaves, you liberator of harlots, you surface for the lash, you wearer-out of the fetters, you citizen of the treadmill, you slave everlastingly, you gormandizer, glutton, pilferer, runaway, give me the money, will you. Give me the money, impudence. Can I get the money out of you? Give me the money, I say. Why don’t you give me the money? Are you ashamed of nothing? You impersonation of slavery, a Procurer is asking money of you for the liberation of your mistress, so that all may hear it.
TOXILUS
Troth now, prithee, do hold your tongue. For sure your voice is in first-rate strength.
DORDALUS
I’ve got a tongue made for returning a compliment. Salt is provided for me at the same price as for yourself; Unless this tongue protects me, it shall never lick a bit of salt.