by Lilah Rivers
It was a bad idea. She knew that, she knew that she might come to regret it, come to wish that she had heeded her sense that this was a mistake.
But the temptation was far too overwhelming.
Gemma opened the door quietly, glancing from side to side in order to ensure that no one was around. Still, there was not. She entered and allowed herself to look around.
It was not overly impressive. There was very little around, and she noted that he, too, was a very neat and tidy person. Nothing was out of place and it appeared as though he kept the order very well.
Gemma was curious as to whether or not they had a maid come to keep things clean if one did not live there. Or was it possible that Mr. Thompson and Justine kept this order on their own?
She had never been very tidy. Her mother always criticized her for it, but as they had a housekeeper and multiple maids, there was simply no reason for Gemma to ever worry about how messy she might leave things.
But here, it appeared as though she would have to take care and be more diligent once her belongings arrived.
Gemma quickly saw that Mr. Thompson, as well, had his Bible out on the bed. She picked it up, curious to see how it compared with the other.
There were notes in margins of this one as well, but the writing was far clearer and she could actually read the thoughts that the writer had been having while making them. Curious as to whether or not these were the work of Mr. Thompson, Gemma glanced around until she found a sheet of paper with the same handwriting.
It was something to do with work at the bank but was signed by Mr. Amos Thompson. The writing matched. This Bible, so full of insightful study, was being read by her future husband.
She wondered what else she might learn and Gemma studied a small stack of books, all sermon collections. She peered into his wardrobe and saw that his clothes were relatively formal and she imagined these were required for his job at the bank.
Gemma was still deeply curious. As impressive as it was that he was so tidy, she lamented the fact that it meant she was not learning more about him. She was seeing only what Mr. Thompson left out, as opposed to the many things that she imagined he had hidden away.
But to go through everything would put her in a perilous situation if Justine arrived home.
No, it was far better that she leave and return to her own room.
Gemma turned around to make for the door and leapt back with a gasp.
There he stood, Mr. Thompson. He was leaning in the doorway, looking somewhat amused, with a bouquet of flowers in his hands.
“Forgive me, I did not mean to startle you,” he said.
Gemma held a hand to her chest but looked around, embarrassed, as though wishing for an escape. He was blocking the only exit and there was no way to hide the fact that she had been trying to learn about him by going through his belongings.
“I-I fear that it is I who must beg forgiveness,” she said, cheeks burning with shame.
He gave a sigh and walked towards her, making Gemma even more nervous. But when he held out the bouquet, she took it and inhaled the sweet smell of the flower she had not seen before. Something from her new country.
“Do you think we would do better to speak in the living room as opposed to here?” Mr. Thompson offered.
“Y-yes. I think that would be better,” she said, not comfortable being alone with him in his room.
Mr. Thompson led Gemma to the living room where they sat on separate sides of the room and she tried to relax.
“I am very sorry,” she offered.
“No, you needn’t be sorry,” he said, shaking his head as though it were nothing at all.
Mr. Thompson looked at her with his large, brown eyes. There was something very innocent about them. Gemma found that rather attractive.
“So, what would you like to know about me? I interrupted you and I imagine there is a good deal more that you did not manage to discover,” he said.
“Well, I’m afraid so,” she said. “As it happens, you keep your room far too clean for a woman to learn much of anything by snooping around.”
He laughed with her for a moment, but she could see that he really was willing to humble himself in order to answer any questions that she had.
“Well, in truth, I am curious about many things. You see, I have heard stories about dreadful men, and I should like to know what kind of man you are,” she confessed.
Mr. Thompson gave her a sweet and gentle smile.
“Certainly. Well, I know that it tells you nothing of my character, but I am a banker. My sister and I live here, alone. Our parents have both passed away, but we have an uncle in town and more family out west,” he began.
Thus far, Mr. Thompson had told Gemma a great deal more than she had told him. She truly appreciated his willingness to share these things.
“I enjoy eating, reading, and going to church. Visiting with my friends is very important to me, as well,” he said.
“Those are all wonderful things,” Gemma said.
“Yes, but even then, you still don’t know my character. Miss Temple, I will tell you anything that you want to know about me, but I have a very strong feeling that you will not be comfortable here until you have taken the time to actually know me,” he said.
“It shall be a very long time, I should think, before we really know one another,” she replied.
“I agree,” he said.
“You have asked me nothing about myself,” she noticed.
“I think you will tell me in time,” he said, a knowing smile on his face.
“What do you mean by that?” she asked.
“That I am very curious about you, but I don’t want to push you. You are brand new here. I want you to become comfortable before I start asking you things about your life and who you are,” he said.
Gemma greatly appreciated that. This man was patient and kind. It was such a shock after everything that she had experienced with Lord Linton.
“You really don’t mind if I take my time?” she asked.
“Not at all. I think it’s better. That way, when you trust me, you will open up. I will know that you trust me. I don’t want to force you into anything. It wouldn’t be fair,” he said.
Mr. Thompson really did appear to be one of a kind. Gemma had never met a man who was so willing to consider her comfort and best interest.
“Thank you, Mr. Thompson,” she said.
“There is nothing to thank. This is how it ought to be,” he said.
“Still, I imagine that it must be difficult for you as well,” Gemma said.
“Oh, sure. It’s not easy marrying a woman that I don’t know. That is—if you still want to be married. But I am determined to do my best and to be a good husband for you. You can take all the time you want or need,” he said.
“If it makes you feel any better, you may go through my trunks when they arrive,” she offered with a laugh.
Mr. Thompson chuckled at that.
“No, I don’t think I could do that. There is nothing about going through a trunk full of dresses that appeals to me,” he said.
“Well, if I manage to make a home here, then perhaps my room may grow intriguing enough for you to snoop around it,” she said with a shrug.
“In that case, I will wait for that day,” Mr. Thompson replied.
They eyed one another for a moment and Gemma considered the strange fortune that it was to be around a man who was not so vile as Lord Linton.
She had learned very little about Mr. Thompson so far. But maybe, just maybe, he really was a good man.
Chapter 7
Amos tried to push himself through the challenge that he was facing, but he simply could not wrap his heart around the fact that he had been telling so many lies. He was not this sort of man. The guilt was overwhelming and he wished that he could simply go back and undo all of the foolish decisions that he had made.
As excited as he was to marry this woman that he was now devoted to spending his life with,
Amos couldn’t quite grasp the fact that their union was starting out with dishonesty.
He had been dishonest with everyone around him, his friends, even Daniel. He hadn’t even been totally honest with Miss Temple by keeping from her the reality of why he had chosen to bring her to America.
Only Justine knew the truth and it was difficult for him to accept that he had been such a fool as to make this choice.
Amos had to make things right, although he did not know how. Not now. Not when he had gone this far and was in this so deeply.
There was no choice other than to go to prayer and to make a decision that he would not tell anymore lies, to repent and change the course of the future.
Still, he would have to decide whether or not he was going to come out and be honest about this or whether he would continue to allow people to believe what he had already told them about the search for his wife. But he would decide that after spending some time before God, asking for wisdom.
Amos got on his knees, thinking that it might be wise to go to the church but rather staying in his home to ask God for help.
Dear Lord, I thank you for every good and perfect gift that you have given to me. I thank you that you have made me and designed me and that you know my life and everything in it. You have given me the gift of life and the joy that it can carry and you have been my strength through the trials and when I am weary.
There are so many reasons for me to praise and glorify you. There is so much that you have done and I can never repay you, not that you have ever asked me to.
I know that I am weak and I know that I am sinful. I am aware that I have made abundant grave mistakes and that I have dishonored you. For those things, I ask forgiveness. For those things, I ask that you would heal my wicked ways and forgive me. Help me not only to repent and ask forgiveness, but to live a repentant life that truly seeks to honor you henceforth.
Lord, I pray for my new wife. Please bring her joy and help us to have an honoring companionship. Help us to learn to respect one another, even if we cannot have love, although ultimately that is what I ask for.
Thank you for her presence here in my life now. Thank you for bringing her to me and help me to be the sort of husband that she needs me to be.
I thank you again for all of your goodness to me and the ways that you have cared for me. Please grant us peace and rest and all manner of good thing.
I ask these things in your holy and wonderful name, Amen.
By the time that Amos finished praying, he had begun to feel a bit better. Still, he knew he had to make a decision. Would he be honest moving forward or would he even be honest about the past?
He finished his prayer just in time as there was a knock on the door of his room. Amos opened it and saw Justine standing there, looking happy and bright.
“How are you?” she asked, immediately.
“I’m all right, I suppose,” he replied.
“You look a bit stressed,” she said, coming in and sitting on the bed. Amos sat beside her and tried to think of what he could say.
“I guess I’m just trying to figure out the best way to move forward,” he said.
“You mean with your life? Or with your wife?” she asked.
“Both. You know, I made all of this up and now I have a wife because of it. I want to honor God and be honest, I’m just not sure how to do that now since I have gotten myself into this whole mess of lies,” he said.
“You know what I think already. You know that I want you to be honest and that I wish that you had not made the choices that you made to get yourself here. But I also want you to know that I do really like this young woman. Miss Temple is very kind and genial, although I can see that she is a bit scared still,” Justine said.
“I’m sure, it only makes sense that she would be frightened. I mean, can you imagine traveling halfway around the world in order to marry somebody that you have never even met?” he asked.
Justine laughed.
“That sounds almost as crazy as having a woman brought from the other side of the world to marry her even though you haven’t met,” she said.
Amos smiled sheepishly at that, knowing that she was right. He really had made a wild decision. But a small part of him was happy about it. He only wanted to get to know Miss Temple better but felt as if there wasn’t nearly enough time to do that.
“So what are you going to do about it?” Justine asked.
“I am going to try and get to know my wife. That has to be my first priority. The rest, I think, will come with time. I’m sure that I will have plenty of chances to tell everyone the truth and I need to just do it. I’m not sure when it will happen, but I have every intention of being honest with them because I can’t keep up this lie,” Amos said.
“I think that is a very wise choice,” Justine said.
“But I think I should also go and talk to Miss Collins,” he added.
At this, Justine looked surprised.
“Why is that?” she asked.
“Well, I was thinking that it might give me some perspective. You know, Miss Collins understands why these women come here from England when I simply don’t get it. It doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to me,” he said.
“Me neither. But then again, I’m not the one ordering for one to be brought,” Justine said.
Amos decided to head out right then and there, making his way to Miss Collins’s home and hoping that he would be able to interact with her for a while.
When she opened the door, she looked unsurprised to see him, but took in a ragged breath and sighed as if she was about to be gravely disappointed.
“Miss Collins,” he greeted.
“Ah, yes, Mr. Thompson. Trouble already?” she asked.
Amos shook his head, annoyed that she would immediately assume that.
“No, not at all. Actually, it’s just that I want to know more about my wife,” he said.
“Shouldn’t you be trying to learn from her rather than me?” Miss Collins asked.
She was right, but Amos pushed that away.
“Well, I mean I want to know why women come here. I want to give her some space, and not push her to know her personally, but I would like to understand some of the reasons for which young women travel to America to seek husbands,” he confessed.
“Right, of course. I suppose that does warrant a reason,” she said.
“So, what can you tell me?” Amos asked.
“Well, your wife, like the rest of them, probably needed something new in her life. But she was a little bit different from the others, I’ll admit,” she said.
“Oh? How so? What are they normally like?” he asked.
“Well, most of the time, they are poor and can’t find husbands in England. Your wife is different. She does not appear to be of little means or as though she could not take care of herself in England. And I can hardly imagine that it was difficult for her to find a husband,” Miss Collins said.
“I thought much the same. She is quite beautiful and I cannot understand what would prevent her from finding a husband where she is from,” Amos said.
