It’s after eleven by the time we’ve finished preliminary engagement party planning. Mimi offers to have a car take me home when Lex holds up a hand. “I’m heading home, too. I can have you dropped off.”
“Are you sure it isn’t out of the way?” I feel the waver in my smile. God, I hope we’re not obvious right now.
The tapping on the arm of his chair continues. “It’s really no trouble.”
“If you’re sure.” The last time I got into a vehicle with Lex things got out of hand. Regardless of the chemistry between us, this is about more than that. I’m sure I’ll be better able to restrain myself since the plan is to have an actual conversation with real words.
I gather my things and say goodbye to Ruby, while Bane and Lex have a brief, whispered conversation. I thank Mimi and Harrison for the lovely dinner, and follow Lex down the sprawling front steps to the waiting car.
I slide across the leather bench all the way to the far side and buckle myself in. Restraints are good. Necessary even. And not the kind I kept in my sex toy tickle trunk. This one will keep me on this side of the car, rather than straddling Lex’s lap. It’s instinctual I think, the desire to manage the emotional strain with physical release. It might even be a Pavlovian response to Lex at this point.
He lowers himself into the vehicle and the driver closes us inside together. I inhale a deep breath, hoping to remain calm in the face of my sudden panic, except it’s more like I’m huffing the scent of him. I immediately feel drunk, and it has nothing to do with the wine I consumed tonight and everything to do with the man beside me. Now that there’s nothing preventing us from having a frank discussion about what the hell we’re doing, or not doing, my heart seems to have taken up sprinting.
Lex is sitting on the far side of the seat, two feet of soft leather separating our bodies. Two feet that feels simultaneously too far and too close. He slouches, posture relaxed, legs spread wide. Like I’d like mine to be, with him in between them.
I need to focus, but my lady parts are lubing up in anticipation. It would be wonderful if my brain and my body could stop working against each other.
He stretches his arm across the back of the seat but he’s about three inches shy of making contact. “What’s your address, Amie?”
I’m so focused on how close he is to touching me that I miss the question. “I’m sorry?”
“Your address, you need to give it to the driver, unless you’re planning to come home with me.” And there it is, that cocky grin.
“It might be better than my place.”
He cocks his head. “Do you intend to stay the night?”
“I-I don’t know.” I’m biting the end of my nail. “Do you want me to?”
“What do you think?”
“I think maybe you do, but I’m still unclear as to your motivation.” I dip my head, exhaling slowly. “I’m sorry I ran last time. I’m sorry I’ve been silent. I thought it would be better, easier, but I still can’t get you out of my head, and I don’t know what that means or how to manage it.”
Lex regards me for a few long moments before he asks the driver to take the scenic route along the water toward the city. “I should’ve said something before you left Bora Bora, but I didn’t think you were ready to hear it.”
“Hear what?”
“Look, Amie, I know things are messy for you right now, but whatever this thing is that’s happening between us, I don’t really want to walk away from it again.”
“What do you want then?”
His fingers sift through the ends of my hair. “Let’s just see where this goes. We’ll be spending time together regardless, let’s make it count.”
“I’m not sure I understand.” My uncertainty wavers.
“I want to date you, Amie.”
“But I’m still—”
He holds up a hand. “I know the annulment hasn’t gone through yet, so let’s do what we did in Bora Bora, minus the beach. Let’s just hang out, spend time together, sometimes naked, sometimes not. We’ll just keep it between us and when the annulment is finalized we can go from there.”
God, he seems so sincere. “And you’d be okay with keeping it just between us?”
“I know what Armstrong is like, Amie. He doesn’t like to lose and right now that’s what’s happening. I don’t want to make this more difficult, but I don’t want to give you up either. If this is how it has to be for now, I can accept that.”
“Okay.”
“Okay? Is that the only reaction I’m going to get?”
I laugh and then sigh. “I’m sorry. It’s just . . . a lot to process. I want this.” I gesture between us. “But it’s hard to trust how I feel right now.”
Lex’s smile is soft, just like his fingertips as he strokes my cheek. “That’s okay. We can take the feelings part slow if that’s what you need, and I’ll use my incredible skill set in the bedroom to distract you from all the things you’re worried about. How does that sound?”
I bite my lip through a smile. “That sounds good.”
“Excellent.” Lex’s smile stays firmly in place. “Now you want to tell me about Hottie Hook-Up?”
Oh God. Of all the things to bring up at the dinner table. If I hadn’t already been stressed out I would’ve given her hell for that. “I needed to tell Ruby something.”
“Oh, of course. That explains everything.” He nods as if this makes sense. “What exactly did you tell her?” Lex leans closer, his hand sliding along the back of the seat, fingertips grazing my shoulder. Maybe we’re done with the serious discussions for tonight.
“Don’t tell me you haven’t told anyone. You must’ve bragged to one of your golf buddies.”
“It’s not golf season. And is that what you were doing? Bragging?”
“I couldn’t very well tell her nothing.”
“What exactly did you brag to Ruby about?”
“I told her I hooked up with someone. That’s it.”
His knee bounces a couple of times, but stops quickly. His fingers tap beside my shoulder for a few beats. “Did you give her any details?”
“Details?” God it’s hot in here.
He fingers a lock of hair. “An orgasm tally, maybe? A comparative cock analysis?”
“Someone needs to check their ego.” I’m too breathless for the snark to come through.
Lex’s eyes roam over me hotly. “Did you tell her you let your hook-up into your tickle trunk of sex toys?”
I shake my head.
“No?” His fingers brush along my throat.
“Lex.”
“You want me to stop touching you?”
“No.”
“Good. I turned you down once, I’d have to be insane to do it again, Amie.” The sincerity behind that statement is staggering. It makes me wish this thing with Armstrong was behind me so I can be free to see where this thing with Lex can really go, without restraints.
We stare at each other for a few long seconds, the heat in his gaze sparking the fire inside; the one I don’t need to douse with logic or doubt anymore. Apparently Lex feels the same way, because he hits the release on his seatbelt and slides across the bench, reaching over to free me from mine before I can. “Come here.” He moves me to straddle him, palms sliding up my legs. “Always with the fucking garters,” he mumbles when his fingertips find the lace band at the top of my thighs.
I nibble on his bottom lip. “You love the garters.”
“I really do.”
When I make a move to unbuckle his belt, he covers my hands with his. “I’m not fucking you in the car, Amie.”
“What’re we doing then?”
He nibbles along my jaw. “Making out with our clothes on.”
“I like making out with you.”
“I know.” He sucks on my bottom lip. “If you have plans tomorrow I suggest you cancel them, because once we’re in my bed and I’m inside you I’m staying there for a long fucking time.”
He kisses me, and I surrender to the
control he seems to have over my body, aware that if he keeps this up, he’s going to have the same control over my heart.
Twenty-Two: No Self-Control
Amie
Over the weeks leading up to the engagement party Lex and I do exactly what we did in Bora Bora; we spend time together. We’re dating. In secret, but still dating. It’s made that much easier because of Mimi’s elaborate engagement party plans. The whole thing has taken far longer to organize than I expected, and since Lex and I are co-organizers, no one questions it—much.
Lex seems to enjoy testing my self-control on a regular basis. It really hasn’t improved much. Although, last time I made it a full seventy-three minutes before I finally gave in, which was a real feat since he came to my apartment and sat on my couch, looking hot in a pair of jeans and a T-shirt. And he was wearing his glasses. I made him keep them on, even though they fogged up when he went down on me.
I’m frustrated that we still have to hide since Armstrong continues to find reasons not to sign the annulment papers. There seems to be no other purpose than his enjoyment of my suffering.
But tonight I’m not worrying about Armstrong being difficult. Ruby and Bane’s engagement party has finally arrived and we’re all staying at the hotel, because it’s easier and it makes the most sense. Also, the penthouse suites are to die for. I check my phone as messages flood in from Ruby, who’s panicked over this whole thing. She’s used to being the center of attention, but not like this.
Except this time it’s not Ruby, it’s Lex, regarding early check-in at the hotel. He’s suggesting we go now, so we have some extra time before everyone else shows up. It seems smart, especially when he spins it as a pre-engagement party de-stressing meeting that will take place on one of the enormous king-size beds.
I gather my things, call an Uber, and head to street level. Lex texts me his room number. I have my own for the sake of appearances, but that’s its only purpose. I feel bad that a room costing a thousand dollars a night will be wasted, but we can have sex in there later so it’s not a complete waste of a room.
Excitement makes my fingers tremble as I collect my key card from the concierge, then wait for the elevator. I check my reflection in the mirror. This is far more than orgasm anticipation, and if I’m completely honest with myself, it’s been more than that since Bora Bora, I just wasn’t ready to accept it. I see him at least three times a week, but the secrecy is becoming difficult to manage. We both struggle to maintain distance from each other when we’re in the presence of our friends and his family.
My heart speeds up as the elevator dings and the doors open. I drop my things in my room, unlock the adjoining door, and knock. The way my lips curve up in a smile that matches his when he opens the door for me tells me how deep I’m in.
I barely have a chance to cross the threshold before I’m in his arms, his lips on mine. Lex tugs on the tie at my waist and quickly unbuttons my coat, parting the fabric. He freezes, eyes sliding hotly down my body. “Fuck, Amie. This is how you left your apartment?”
I’m wearing a demi bra in lilac with matching lace garters, panties, and nothing else. My dress is in the garment bag tossed carelessly on my bed. “I was in a rush, I thought I’d get dressed here.”
“I don’t know whether I want to spank you or fuck you.”
I lace my fingers with his, tugging him toward the bed. “How about you do both?”
* * *
Sometime later I’m lying on the comforter of the king-sized bed, staring at the ceiling, trying to catch my breath. Lex is using the space between my breasts as a pillow.
“Don’t expect to get a lot of sleep tonight.” He nuzzles in a bit more.
“What time do we have to check out tomorrow?” I attempt to smooth his messed-up hair. I think he’s probably going to have to wash it to fix it with how much my fingers were in it.
“Whenever I feel like it.” He kisses between my breasts. “We could stay here all weekend, order room service, pretend we’re in Bora Bora without the sand and sun.”
“I like that idea.” My bra and garters never came off, and I’m still wearing my panties since Lex only moved them to the side, so it’s just a matter of putting on my dress—although I’m a little dewy from the exertion, so a quick wipe down with a wash cloth might be helpful. “I should probably think about putting some clothes on.”
Before Lex has a chance to respond, there’s a knock at his door.
“Did you order room service?” I ask.
He shakes his head and nabs his phone from the nightstand. “Ah, hell.” It’s blowing up with messages.
The knock comes again, harder this time, followed by grumbling and then, “I know you’re here, Lex. I checked with the front desk.”
It’s Bane. I meet Lex’s gaze, the panic in his expression matching mine.
Suddenly, Lex’s phone rings. “Shit.” He fumbles around to silence it, but it’s too late.
“Get dressed so we can deal with this.” I push him off me and rush across the room, slipping through the adjoining door, grateful I had the foresight to go to my own damn room first, otherwise there would be no way to hide this.
“Open the damn door, Lex. We have an issue with catering and Amie isn’t answering her phone and Ruby’s freaking out. We need one or both of you before my fiancée has a total meltdown.”
Ruby is usually pretty calm in the face of stress, but this whole thing is beyond her comfort zone. I feel horrible as I pull my phone from my purse to find six missed calls and at least twenty messages from her, all in the past thirty minutes. I’m a terrible best friend.
“I have a master key. If you don’t open this door in the next thirty seconds I’m coming in,” he threatens.
“Gimme a sec,” Lex calls out.
I rush to my own bathroom and quickly wipe down with a washcloth, then jab my legs into my dress while texting a panicked Ruby back.
Over the past several weeks, there have been some close calls. More than what’s reasonable for two people who are trying to avoid involving more people than necessary in the secrecy. And if I’m honest, I kind of like that this is our thing. That we don’t have to deal with the gossip and the questions that will eventually come with going public.
I don’t want this to be the way Ruby or Bane finds out Lex and I are sleeping with each other. I hadn’t expected Armstrong to draw the annulment out so long. I thought it would done long before this and that Lex and I would eventually be able to stop hiding from everyone. And now my selfishness and the secrecy are causing my best friend unnecessary stress.
As I shimmy into my dress, I hear Bane and Lex talking, their voices muffled. I’m not even sure I closed the door all the way.
“Why the hell are you half-dressed? What’s going on with your hair?” Bane snaps. “Why does it smell like sex in here?”
“It doesn’t smell like sex.”
“Don’t bullshit me. I know what sex smells like.” Bane sounds incredulous. “Why’s your bed all messed up? You better not be bringing a date with you. Where’s Amie?” I can feel my face heating at Bane’s questions.
“I took a nap when I got here because I’ve been pulling long hours at work. What’s the deal? Why are you all over my ass?”
There’s silence from Bane for a few long seconds. “I don’t know, man. You’ve been spending a lot of time with Amie lately. I hope you haven’t forgotten that she’s still married to our asshole cousin. You remember who he is, right? The same guy who’s spent most of his life fucking with you because he can. Don’t do anything stupid.”
“Are you serious with this?”
“Come on, Lex. You can’t tell me I don’t have a right to be worried what with you and Armstrong and the competitive bullshit you’ve pulled on each other. If something’s going on, you better hope he doesn’t find out, or he’s going to make Amie’s life more miserable than it already is—”
Bane is cut off by my phone. It’s Ruby. I start with an apology. “I’m so sorr
y I missed your calls.” I hate that I’ve done this to her, especially when she’s been such a huge support for me through all of this Armstrong crap. “I’m in my room, do you want me to come to you or do you want to come here?”
“Thank God you’re here. You have all the makeup right? Can you hide tear stains?” Ruby’s on edge.
“I’ll fix everything, don’t worry.”
I should’ve gone straight to the hall when I arrived, to check on things, but I was too focused on myself and what I wanted. I’m angry for letting this happen.
There’s a knock on the adjoining door between mine and Lex’s room before it swings open. Bane stands in the doorway wearing a suspicious frown with an anxious Lex behind him. I force a smile, aware nothing here looks innocent and avoid making eye contact with Lex. “Ruby’s on her way here. I can take care of makeup and calming her down if you can take care of catering. Lex and I went through everything last week, so I’m sure it’s just a misunderstanding.”
“I really hope so.” Bane looks between me and his brother.
“I’m sorry.” The knock at my door means I don’t have to elaborate on the why. As soon as I turn the lock, Ruby comes barreling into my room, laden with what appears to be the entire contents of her closet.
I take most of it from her and dump it on the bed, making sure I’m careful with her garment bag so her dress doesn’t wrinkle.
Ruby startles when she sees Bane standing in the middle of the doorway connecting the rooms. “I thought you were going to find Lex.”
“I did.”
“Oh.” Ruby glances between us.
“Hey Ruby, catering is waiting on us. I think Amie is right and that it’s just a misunderstanding. Bane and I will sort it out. Text if you need anything?” Lex looks uncomfortable and guilty.
Ruby grabs Bane’s sleeve before he can leave. “Let me know when you get the catering stuff figured out so I can stop worrying.”
He cups her face in his palms and drops a gentle kiss on her lips. They’re so in love. Always touching, always close, as if they’re orbiting each other. I wish it could be like that for Lex and me. “You got it, babe, I’m sure they’re right about it being a misunderstanding. You get ready with Amie. I’ll have champagne and orange juice sent up, along with an antipasto platter.” He glances at me and gives me the don’t - let - her - get - drunk look. I nod, so he knows I understand.
The Shacking Up Series Page 54
