As soon as he’s gone I make Ruby lie on the bed and use the cold compresses that work like magic on swelling while I set up a chair by the window so I have natural light for makeup prep. “Are you okay?” I flip my case open and start setting up.
She lifts the cloth to peek out at me. “This is just a lot, like more than I expected, you know? There’s just so much to take care of, and so many people will be here. I think the guest list is something like three hundred people.”
I pat her ankle. “You perform in front of almost three times as many people five nights a week, Ruby. You’ll be fine.”
“That’s different. I’m not being me, I’m someone else. This is like the worst case of stage fright ever.”
“You’re lovely and charming and charismatic, just like Bane. You’ll be fabulous tonight. Think of this like a dress rehearsal. Take a few deep breaths and let all the anxiety out.” I wish that would work for me.
She inhales and exhales deeply a few times. “I honestly have no idea how you survived your engagement party and a wedding with Gwendolyn up your ass. Mimi is sweet as pie and I’m still overwhelmed.”
“Well, I’m clearly adept at dealing with dicks since I married one and all.”
She makes a sympathetic face. “I can’t believe he still hasn’t signed the annulment papers.”
“Last time he changed one paragraph, tried to swap it out like no one would notice. That seems to be his current strategy. You’d think he’d realize by now I’m not interested in spending the rest of my life with someone who can’t even remain faithful through the wedding reception.” I lift the cloth and check her eyes; the puffiness has gone down enough that we should be able to get started. Ruby has flawless skin, so makeup won’t take long. “You can have a seat by the window.”
She rolls off the bed and drops into the chair, checking her reflection in the compact on the table. “I wasn’t his biggest fan, but this is a whole new level of jerk.”
“The dickishness was always there, I guess I just glossed over it until I got slapped in the face with it.”
“He did a decent job of masking it with a pretty anal-retentive veneer.”
“I just figured he had to be better than any of the guys I previously dated, considering how poor those choices were, right? And on the outside he was.” I sigh softly. “Anyway, he doesn’t really have a reason not to sign the papers other than to prolong the inevitable, so hopefully he gives up soon.”
“I don’t see why he would still be holding out. Unless it has something to do with you and Lex.”
I almost fumble the under-eye concealer. “I’m sorry, what does Lex have to do with my annulment?”
Ruby gestures to the closed door that adjoins our rooms. “Seriously, Amie? Pretty convenient that you have a door connecting your rooms to each other. Didn’t Lex book your room?”
“He booked all the rooms.” I’m digging around in my bag, pulling out every single color of eyeliner and brow liner I have, setting them on the table with my back to her.
She grabs my wrist. “What’s going on, Amie?”
I stop avoiding her gaze—well, mostly; I’m looking at her eyelids rather than directly into her eyes. It’s a trick I learned with my parents as a teen. It makes the lies far more convincing. “What do you mean?”
“You and Lex are spending a lot of time together. We’ve all noticed.”
“Well we’ve been planning the engagement party.” I’m far too pitchy.
“Are you sleeping with him?” Leave it to Ruby to just come out and ask the question.
“Why would you think that?” Dammit. Now I sound like I’ve been sucking on helium.
Her mouth drops open. “You totally are.”
“I’m not.” I have no idea why I bother to lie, apart from maybe habit and the compulsion to keep this a secret.
“Don’t even. I know when you’re lying.” She stares at me for a few long seconds before she asks, “How long has this been going on?”
I do what I do best. Avoid. “It’s not really a thing. I mean, it’s just—I don’t—we should keep the focus where it belongs.”
Ruby laughs. “Oh, no. You can pull that on your mother, but you sure as hell can’t pull it on me. How long?” She looks angry and maybe annoyed, and a bit hurt.
This is not the time to get Ruby all worked up, since she’s already most of the way there thanks to the catering issues.
“Oh my god. Oh my god!” Ruby’s expression becomes even more animated, she grabs my arm as if she’s preparing for an epic descent on a roller coaster. “Did you sleep with him in Bora Bora? Is he Hottie Hook-Up?”
A knock at the door delays my response. I rush to get it, grateful for the interruption. I suppose I’m being forced into telling her the truth, which wouldn’t be so much of an issue if I hadn’t been hiding this from her for months now. She’s going to be hurt, and understandably so.
It’s room service with our champagne and orange juice. I’ve never been so thankful for alcohol in my entire life. Ruby’s silent while he shows us the bottle and takes his time pouring. Then she throws money at him and practically pushes him out of the room.
As soon as the door closes she spins around. “You kept this from me the entire time? What’s it been, like four months? Have you been sleeping with each other this whole time?”
I drop onto the bed with a sigh. “It wasn’t intentional. And it wasn’t really supposed to be anything beyond Bora Bora.”
“So what happened? And why keep it from me? I wouldn’t have said anything to anyone.”
“He’s Bane’s brother and Armstrong’s cousin. It’s a complicated situation made more complicated by the fact that I’m still married to Armstrong. I honestly didn’t think he was going to drag this out for so long and Lex and I thought it would be better to keep it between us until the annulment went through to avoid more complications. I couldn’t ask you to keep this from Bane. That’s not fair when he’s your person and Lex is his brother.”
“You’re my person, too.”
I try to reason with her. “I’m your best girl. He’s the rest of your life, it’s not the same.”
She purses her lips. “You’re my other person.”
“I know. And that’s why I didn’t tell you, because I didn’t want to put you in the middle of your two people. Bane will always be your first priority now, Ruby, as he should be. I didn’t want you to feel like you had to keep something from him.”
Ruby waves her hand around in the air and takes a hefty swig of champagne. “Bane’s been pretty suspicious for a while. I just figured you would’ve told me if you were sleeping together . . . is that what is this? Are you just . . . sleeping together?”
“It was supposed to be a fling. We meant for it to end when I left Bora Bora.”
“But clearly it didn’t. Did you stay in touch when you came home and he went to California?”
I shake my head no. “I was really conflicted. I mean, I was still married, and still am, even if it’s just a signature on a piece of paper that’s tying us together. Then I ran into Lex in a coffee shop and he ended up taking me back to work in his car . . . but I didn’t see him again for weeks. Not until after you got engaged—”
“Did you two get it on at the engagement planning dinner?”
I shake my head. “No, we were just talking—well and kissing, but it was mostly talking . . . later though—”
“I knew it!” Her smile drops. “That was almost two months ago.”
“I really didn’t think I would still be waiting for the annulment to go through. And I wasn’t sure exactly where it was going between us.”
“So where is it going?”
I sigh. “I don’t know. We’re covert dating for now.”
I can feel Ruby’s eyes on me. It’s not good. She knows me better than anyone else in this world. Better than my family. She’s been instrumental in almost every fabrication or lie I’ve concocted to get me out of trouble. This time there doesn�
��t seem to be a good out. “Do you have feelings for Lex? Like feeling feelings.”
We spend a lot of time together, just as much clothed as unclothed, and while we talk, Lex never mentions the future, because right now we’re stuck in the present. “I think so.”
“You think you have feelings for him?”
“For a while I wasn’t sure if I could trust them or not. Look at the man I married. He seemed perfect. Or I wanted him to be. I ticked all the right boxes with him and look at how horribly that turned out. Sometimes I worry that I’m projecting an ideal onto Lex like I did with Armstrong. Like I’ve made him into this savior and it’s all going to fall apart on me as soon as the marriage is annulled.”
I do know with absolute certainty that Armstrong was never right for me. I’d just made so many bad boyfriend choices before him—ones that had nearly caused scandals for my family. As a teenager I made bad choices as a means to force my parents to deal with me together instead of separately. Besides, it wasn’t like I ever wanted to get serious with any of those bad choices.
“How’s the sex?” Ruby asks.
“What?”
“The sex, how is it?”
I’m not sure why the sudden shift in topic, but my reply comes without hesitation. “Beyond amazing.”
Her eyebrow lifts. “Lots of orgasms?”
“Countless.”
“So it’s safe to say you’re not projecting the ideal of awesome sex.”
“Phenomenal sex isn’t going to make Armstrong sign the annulment papers. Until I’m free of him, this needs to stay under the radar.”
“Good luck with that.”
I ignore the barb and switch positions with Ruby so I can resume primer application. After a few moments, I ask the question that’s been eating at me since I overheard that conversation between Lex and Bane. “Do you know much about the competitive stuff between Lex and Armstrong?”
“I know they used to be best friends as kids and that they were always competitive with each other.”
“With sports and stuff, right? They used to mess with each other, it’s how Lex got those scars on his back.”
Ruby nods. “Oh yeah, the bridge jumping accident.”
“Bridge jumping? I thought it was a swimming accident. Lex mentioned something about a river.”
“It was a swimming accident. They were bridge jumping into a river and Lex had to go in after Armstrong. It caused a big rift in the family. Gwendolyn and Mimi had a falling out for a while. Apparently it was bad. I don’t have all the details. Anyway, Bane said after that the competition took a nasty turn. They’d go after the girls each other liked, sabotage each other. It got worse in college until Lex just had enough, and stopped playing into it. I think it got really bad for a while, though.”
I frown, filtering through the conversations Lex and I have had over the months we’ve been doing this. As much as we talk, he’s never really gone into detail about his disdain for Armstrong. “What do you mean they’d go after the girls each other liked?”
“Like whenever Lex liked a girl back in high school, Armstrong would find a way to interfere. He’d ask her out before Lex could, or do something shitty to screw it up for Lex. I guess when it pissed Lex off enough, he started to do the same thing back. It escalated, but after a while it stopped, mainly because Lex stopped feeding into it I guess.”
I think about the night I met Lex, the same night Armstrong formally asked me on a date. Had I been part of a competition back then? Was I still part of one now?
Ruby touches my wrist. “Amie? Are you okay?”
“I met Lex the same night Armstrong asked me out.”
“I don’t understand.”
“The night Armstrong asked me out, Lex was there. He introduced himself to me first, it was . . . intense. He offered to get me a drink, and when he did, Armstrong came over and asked me to dance. He told me he was saving me from making a bad decision with Lex, then he asked me out.”
I can see Ruby putting it together. “Armstrong wouldn’t have married you to win a stupid competition.”
“I really hope you’re right about that.” As I sift through memories, putting together the times Lex and Armstrong were in the same room before we were engaged, and after, how protective he was, how touchy, how condescending he was with Lex and how Lex just seemed to take it. And then the wedding and Bora Bora happened.
I should’ve asked this question ages ago, of either Armstrong or Lex, although I doubt I would’ve gotten a truthful answer from Armstrong. Maybe not Lex, either. Now I have to wonder how deep their hatred for each other runs, and if it’s enough to make me nothing more than a pawn in a game.
Twenty-Three: Hurtful Truths
Amie
Lex and Bane work out the catering issue, which thankfully was just a small miscommunication. Or at least that’s what Bane tells Ruby. Either way, as long as the situation is handled it’ll be fine. Ruby agrees to keep quiet about Lex at least until I’ve had a chance to talk to him; after that she tells me she plans to harass the crap out of him. Which likely won’t be until much later. I don’t have time to dwell on the impending conversation because I’m put to work by Mimi the moment I step into the ballroom. My job is to double check place cards and verify seating arrangements, making adjustments for last-minute changes.
Mimi hands me a glass of champagne and a clipboard with a seating chart before she puts her hand on my shoulder. “I have to tell you something.”
For a moment I consider the possibility that she’s found out her son and I are sleeping together, then I realize she probably wouldn’t be all sweet about it if she did. I force a smile and wait. She really is lovely. If I hadn’t married Armstrong maybe I’d have a nice mother-in-law, rather than a fire-breathing dragon. But I did and that’s on no one but me. Armstrong was another poor decision in my history of bad boyfriends, and I’d made him a permanent one. Hopefully that will be rectified soon. If I turn out to be some kind of revenge screw for Lex, then I probably deserve it for being so blind and stupid in the first place. I really hope I’m not.
I realize I’ve missed Mimi’s revelation. “I’m sorry, pardon?”
“I’ve told her that she’s not to bring up Armstrong with you.”
“You’ve told who?”
“Gwendolyn, my sister. She’s coming tonight.”
“Oh, okay.” I’m fairly certain my eyes are going to pop out of my head. I suck in a few deep breaths.
Mimi encourages me to take a sip of my champagne, then tips the glass up for me so I take another.
“I have her seated on the other side of the room during dinner.”
“Okay. That’s good.” My anxiety still spikes. “What about Armstrong? Is he coming?”
“He wasn’t invited.”
But that doesn’t mean he won’t come. Being the pampered baby he is, Armstrong doesn’t like being left out.
“I wanted you to be prepared. I know Gwen can be . . . difficult, and that Armstrong is”—she glances around, making sure no one is close enough to hear our conversation—“a bit of a prick.”
I laugh. “That’s one way to describe him.”
She smiles piteously and takes my hand. “To be quite honest, I was rather surprised when he announced your engagement since you’re so sweet, but then I thought maybe you inspired change in him.” She sighs. “Anyway, there’s a lot going on with my sister’s family and regardless of what’s happened between you and Armstrong, I just want you to know that I think the world of you, and I’m so sorry for my nephew’s behavior.”
“You don’t need to apologize, Mimi.”
“Well, someone should after what he’s put you through. He’s always been competitive and as he got older he became rather . . . self-absorbed. We had some difficulties when he and Lex were younger.”
“They really don’t get along at all, do they?” I’m baiting her, because I want to hear what she has to say.
“Unfortunately, no. I suppose part of that is
my fault.”
“I don’t understand how you could be responsible for how they feel about each other.”
“They were forced together as children, and as a result they were very close, but often antagonistic. Lexington has always been mischievous.” She leans closer and winks. “Kind of like me and you, I think, and maybe Ruby, which is why I like her so much. Armstrong always seemed to toe the line better. At least that’s how it appeared. Armstrong could be malicious. It’s very different from a bit of harmless trouble, you understand?”
“I think so.” I’m very familiar with Lex’s mischievous side. It comes out frequently in the bedroom, and in the sneaking around we’ve been doing since returning to New York, not to mention how things played out in Bora Bora. But, I can also see what Mimi is saying about Armstrong being spiteful, especially with his refusal to sign the annulment papers.
“Lex didn’t do things with the intention of hurting anyone, but Armstrong was different. He tended to go a step too far. He liked getting under Lexington’s skin. There was an incident when they were teenagers. I’m afraid my sister and I didn’t handle it well and things were never the same between those boys. I’d hoped as adults that might change, but I don’t know that it’s in Armstrong’s nature to forgive, or Lex’s to forget.” She gives me a sad, questioning smile, but before I can respond, or ask more questions, the event organizer interrupts, requiring her attention.
She hugs me and hands me the seating arrangements before she leaves me on my own, with all of my churning thoughts and fears. I don’t see Lex before the party begins and when I do, I purposely remain in highly public areas, forcing him to keep an acceptable distance.
By five, cocktail hour has begun and I’m a mess—at least on the inside. Engagement parties thrown by the Millses are almost as elaborate as a wedding. This far exceeds my engagement party with Armstrong, and I thought that was extravagant.
The Shacking Up Series Page 55
