“I trained you to go into a fire and look at everything, to rescue people and contain the fire and get it put out, but last night you acted like a rookie, Toby—and I’m not saying this to hurt you, but promotion to captain…?” She shook her head and took in the flicker in his blue eyes. It was the kind of anger that simmered. She’d never seen him like this.
He leaned in. “Rookie? I’m no rookie, but let’s talk about who did what. Just what the hell were you thinking, taking off your mask? You put yourself in danger, and that’s not something you do. The deputy shouldn’t have been back there. I came to get you. The fact that you’re insinuating in some way that I’m not qualified…” He shook his head and stepped back, and she had the sinking feeling that she’d just made things worse. Angry Toby was who was standing there with her. “No, if anything, your dumbass move could’ve cost you your life. I should write you up, and if you were anyone else, I’d be forced to, but right now, I’m playing favorites.”
She was stunned over what he’d said. It was ridiculous, but at the same time, she realized he could write her up for anything now, and what could she do about it?
He lifted his hands and started walking away. “Take the rest of the week off, Suzanne. Don’t come back to work until you have an okay from the doctor.” Then he was at the door, his hand on the door handle, still holding the other coffee. He seemed to hesitate a second. “I’m sorry you feel this way and can’t be happy for me, but there’s more to consider when you’re in charge. The fire last night cost the community hundreds of jobs. Being in charge isn’t just about the easy choices. You have to make the tough choices, too. Sorry you can’t see that.” He pulled open the door and glanced back to her. “And for the record, yeah, I was out with someone—but it’s not what you think.”
Then he stepped out of her house and closed the door, and she just stared at it, feeling the bite of his words, wondering where exactly their relationship stood.
Chapter Ten
There was something about how things had been left with Toby. Suzanne couldn’t shake the feeling that she’d jammed her foot in her mouth in a way she didn’t know how to fix. At the same time, she didn’t think she’d made her point clearly. If it had been anyone else promoted over her, she didn’t think it would have bothered her so much, but she really cared about Toby, and she didn’t know how she was supposed to continue down this line, where it was becoming clear she would have to downplay her skill and put herself second.
It was something Marcus had said to her: “Don’t be that girl.” And that was never the kind of girl she had been—until she met Toby.
She jammed her hand over her forehead as she sat behind the wheel of her car, feeling as if the world were showing her a side of itself that she’d never seen before.
Then there was Harold, who’d continued to be someone else entirely. After hating him and being angry at him for so long, she was at a loss for what to do, feeling so many things, confusion being one of them. She took in City Hall and stepped out. Her phone was ringing, and saw it was her mom.
“Hey, Mom,” she said as she closed her car door, lifting the purse she rarely carried over her shoulder. She was dressed casually in a light blue T-shirt and blue jeans, her hair hanging loose, and she took in the people striding by. She didn’t look right at anyone but gave the phone all her attention.
“Are you okay? Heard about the fire, and Marcus told me you were at the hospital last night. You should have called! The news said it was bad, that two firefighters were trapped and they didn’t know if they’d get them out. I called Marcus when I didn’t hear from you, Suzanne. He told me it was you.”
That was one thing about Marcus: He shared just about everything with their mom when it came to one of them being in trouble. At the same time, he somehow avoided sharing anything about what he did, as he didn’t cross that line when it came to his own duties as a cop.
“It was nothing,” she said. “A fire at the mall. You know how the news blows everything way out of proportion. I breathed in a little smoke, no big deal. I’m fine and taking a few days off.”
“Well, that’s good, then, but you’ve always let me know you’re okay with a text or phone call after a big night, especially something serious. You didn’t this time.”
She shut her eyes and wanted to kick herself, because she’d totally forgotten, what with everything that had happened. Considering everything that had gone down the night before, calling her mom had been the furthest thing from her mind.
“Sorry, Mom, it was just one of those things. But I assure you I’m fine. The fire’s out, and it was just a back room we were stuck in, not even for that long. We were out in no time. It wasn’t even that big of a deal. The hospital was only a precaution, an overreaction, really. No big deal…” She wondered if her nose had grown, because her mom said nothing on the other end for another second. How much detail had Marcus given her?
“You can come by later today, then,” she said. “I have Eva, and Alison is on her way over. We’re baking. Luke has been shipped back to God knows where, Owen is out of town, Karen and Jack are working on some big case, and Ryan and Jenny are taking off for a few nights. Since you have time off, why don’t you come by, as well? The girls would love it, and you can show me you’re okay. Heard from Marcus that he’s hired Harold Waters as one of his lead deputies, too. You remember Harold, don’t you? I think you two dated in high school…”
Her mom was still going on, and she wanted to kick Marcus. Just then, she spotted Jessa walking out of City Hall, her short dark hair perfectly groomed, looking curvy in a light pantsuit and heels, exactly whom she wanted to have a minute with.
“You know what, Mom? I’ve got to go. There’s someone I’m meeting with. Listen, I’ll come by later.” Then she hung up, tucked her phone in her purse, and started walking toward Jessa, who she noticed was waving at someone.
She looked over and spotted Harold, wearing his deputy uniform, hat, and shades. He too was walking toward Jessa, and what did she do but stand there like a fool, watching as if he were a train racing off the tracks? She fisted her hands and took another step.
Jessa gave a swoopy wave with that over-the-top smile that everyone loved, wearing her perfect makeup and big sunglasses. “Harold Waters, why, I couldn’t believe it when I heard you’re joining the sheriff’s department here!” she called out.
Suzanne wasn’t sure if he smiled, but she felt like an absolute fool, standing there, feeling the same ache she’d felt so many years ago because of the actions of a man she’d loved like a fool and a best friend she’d shared all her secrets with. She made herself take a step closer, not hearing what Harold said. Jessa actually pulled him into a hug, and she noticed his reluctance as he stepped back. The tightness in her stomach had her moving closer, walking right toward them, really digging into each step. Then they were both looking her way.
“Oh, Suzanne… Hey there, girl! What a surprise this is, both you and Harold. You remember Harold Waters?”
She couldn’t believe Jessa had said that to her, and maybe it was the look she gave her that made Jessa quickly continue.
“I heard about the fire last night,” she said. “Are you okay? Was just telling all this handsomeness about how happy we all are he’s joined the department. I know I’ll sleep so much better knowing he’s here, watching over all of us. Oh, that’s right!” She actually gasped. “You two were in the fire last night, trapped. Wasn’t that hottie lieutenant with you, as well?”
Right, so there was already talk, of course. Jessa had always been a flirt with Toby, too, even though she was married to a man Suzanne had met a time or two, Robert Blyth, a computer technician who shared her same big personality.
“You’re okay, both of you? Oh my goodness, it’s been all over the council. What an awful thing that was, what happened. I heard they have a suspect already for the fire, that it was arson. It’s just horrible that such a thing can happen here in our community. Why, I hope they throw the
book at him. All those people who have lost their jobs, it hurts, really hurts us…”
Jessa could go on and on, but Suzanne was stuck on the mention of a suspect, considering she was way out of the loop.
Harold had stayed silent so far. “You know we can’t comment on the investigation,” he finally said.
Suzanne crossed her arms and took in Jessa, still struggling with what she’d learned from Harold. She wondered how many more people from Livingston would stop her and comment on the fire and the fact that she’d been trapped. She wanted to know who it was they suspected.
“You okay?” Harold asked, giving everything to her, only she couldn’t see his hazel eyes behind his shades.
She didn’t feel like discussing any of what had happened in that fire with Jessa standing there, and she wasn’t sure what to make of the way she was watching the two of them. “Yeah, good,” she said. “I didn’t see you at the hospital before I left. You back to work today?”
Jessa, who was at least three inches shorter than her, was looking up from her to Harold. What she was thinking, Suzanne didn’t have a clue. She was still working on the words to ask her why she’d lied.
“I am,” he said. “I take it you’re off today?” He took in her casual attire.
What was she supposed to say, that her boss had ordered her off because he was angry—no, furious with her? “I am. Was just on my way over to see you, Jessa. I wanted to have a word with you.”
Harold slid down his shades and peered over them to her. Of course, he knew what she was doing, even if Jessa didn’t.
“You were coming to see me?” Jessa pressed her hand to her chest, sounding truly shocked. Their friendship had fizzled out into an acquaintance. At social functions, they’d still talk, but sharing deep secrets was something they no longer did.
“Yeah, I was. I wanted to talk to you about some things.”
Harold didn’t pull his gaze from her, still giving everything to her, and she wasn’t sure what to make of that.
“Well, I’m just on my way to a council meeting, and then I have to pick up Leanne at preschool—my daughter,” she added to Harold, including him in the conversation. “I’m married now, two kids.” She sang out the last part and held up her hand, showing the big rock. Then she ran her hand over Harold’s arm. “Why don’t you come by tomorrow, and we can talk then, Suzanne? Maybe we should do lunch. We could catch up, or maybe a girls’ night out? It’s been a long time. Harold, you too. I’ll have you over for dinner sometime, and you can meet my family.”
That was just something about Jessa: She could go on and on.
“You know what, Jessa?” Harold said. “I want to have a word with Suzanne. It was good to see you.”
“Oh, you too, Harold,” Jessa said. “Suzanne, listen. Call my office and talk to Barbie, and ask her to put you on the schedule tomorrow. We’ll catch up.” Then she lifted her hand, and her cell phone started ringing from inside the purse that dangled from her arm. She answered it and walked away, leaving Suzanne standing there with Harold.
It was just her and him, and the anger she’d felt for so long now had changed into something that confused the hell out of her.
Chapter Eleven
“What are you doing?” Harold said. He was standing right in front of her, and she took in his face, the scars that she really had to look to see. There was something about the way he stood, the way he gave everything to her; she found herself comparing him and Toby, two very different men with two very different personalities.
He had tucked his shades into his shirtfront now. His hazel eyes were so distinct, and his arms and chest were so damn impressive. She had to fight the urge not to stare as he took another step toward her. One more and she’d be able to reach out and touch him. For a second, she considered looking away.
“What?” she said. Even to her own ears, she sounded defensive.
He just shook his head and winced, and she wasn’t sure what to make of his expression. “So we’re doing that, are we?” He glanced back to where Jessa had been, now long gone. “Are we going to do that thing where you say you don’t know what I’m talking about? Because we both know that’s bullshit. You’re here to, what, confront her over a lie from years ago? How does it matter anymore, Suzanne?”
The way he said it, she didn’t think she could’ve explained to anyone how much it bothered her.
“How can you say that?” she said. “Of course I’m going to ask her, confront her. If she lied, I want her to admit it to my face. She owes me that much.”
“If she lied?” He leaned in, and she could feel how bad it must have sounded. He seemed ready to be done with her and walk away.
“Okay, bad choice of words. I didn’t mean it like that. I want to stand in front of her and see her face when I tell her I know what she did. I want to find out from her why she would lie like that. She was my best friend, and she destroyed that. Coming to me the way she did, telling me you’d slept with her, she cried real tears, begging for my forgiveness. I was gutted, and I can’t quite rationalize why she’d do that. I still don’t get it.” She could feel the heave in her chest as she breathed out.
He crossed his arms, and his biceps oozed strength. She couldn’t pull her gaze from him. What was it about this Harold that was so different from the young man she’d been head over heels for?
“So is this about setting the record straight, or is it really that you’re wondering who’s telling the truth? Are we still doing that, Suzanne? You know what? Don’t answer that. I can tell by your face that’s exactly what this is. So then what? Seriously, Suzanne, what is this really about? When you learn the truth, will you want an apology? Because I can still see the doubt there. Don’t deny it. You just can’t believe that someone could so easily tell a lie.” He gestured toward her, then rested his hands on his duty belt.
She wished he wouldn’t do that. There was just something about the way he moved, the way he looked, that was making her feel things she hadn’t expected.
She couldn’t get her tongue to move, and when he went to step away, what did she do but reach over and touch his arm? His eyes went right to her hand, and she slowly pulled it away, knowing her mistake. Yeah, touching him was also confusing the hell out of her.
“She was my best friend, Harold,” she said. “You’re right about me wanting to set the record straight. At the same time, I’m angry over a lot of things about this. I believed her, and she crushed me. We were never close again after that, considering I saw her on your arm next. You say she asked you to the prom, but you took her. Yeah, I should have said something, but you know what? At the time, I was gutted, because I couldn’t believe you’d toss me away like that. I never wanted to talk to you again after.
“Maybe I’m having trouble getting my head around the fact that I’ve believed a lie for so long, and then, all of a sudden, I find out what could be the truth. You want to point out to me how I should’ve said something to you when it happened? Fine, go ahead, you’re right. Wouldn’t life be so much easier if we could all have a do-over? But we can’t. All we have is now, here, and I want answers. I want her to look me in the eye and explain to me how she could have done that, why she did what she did, and, even after all these years, why she’s never come clean. Doesn’t she have a conscience, knowing she destroyed us…?”
Harold made a rude noise and shook his head, glancing to the side and back to her. She could see he wasn’t getting it—or maybe he was. “Suzanne, she didn’t destroy us. You did when you believed something that wasn’t true. We could go on and on and rehash this over and over, but it’s going nowhere. Again, I asked you why it matters now. Years have gone past. We’re done and over this, or you should be, at least, because I am. Anyway, aren’t you involved with Lieutenant Chandler?”
She inhaled, trying to figure out what to say, then shrugged. “Honestly, I don’t know where Toby and I stand. That’s the truth, Harold, but it has nothing to do with this. I’m angry.”
&n
bsp; He didn’t nod, and she wasn’t sure what to make of the way he was looking at her now, but he gave her everything. She wanted him to say something, but he didn’t.
“So Jessa said you have a suspect for the fire?” she finally said, pressing her hand to her chest. This back and forth about her and Harold and what could have been was making her damn uncomfortable, considering the way she had pictured their lives together back then. They would get married, have kids, have a life, yet they had become two very different people.
“We’re investigating. Arson is suspected, but you should know that. Fire department investigators were in there and issued a preliminary report. Your boss would have it—but you don’t, do you?”
She just shrugged, wondering what boss he was talking about, the chief or Toby. Likely both. Under normal circumstances, she wouldn’t necessarily know. “Toby and I aren’t on good terms right now. He’s benched me until I get a doctor’s okay to go back to work, and he’s up for another promotion to captain.” She couldn’t believe the way she’d said it, and she didn’t miss his wince.
“Ouch,” was all he said.
She wondered why she would’ve shared this with him. “Yeah, well, I made my feelings clear and called out his bullshit, his screw-up last night, how he shouldn’t be promoted. Apparently, he didn’t want to hear the truth, so yeah, here I am, sidelined…” She gestured to herself and tried to make light of it, but instead she felt like shit. “Sorry. I shouldn’t be ragging on him.”
Harold nodded and glanced away. She wasn’t sure what was there in his expression. He was a different person now, and she had no idea how to read him.
“No, you shouldn’t. You’re involved with him, so work it out with him. Captain, really? Scary. At the same time, I hear you on why you’re disagreeing with how everything went down. That promotion shouldn’t happen, but be careful, Suzanne, because it sounds like you’re mixing business, pleasure, and politics, and the one who could end up getting burned is you. You’ve been benched…?” He shook his head.
#4--The Quiet Day--O’Connells Page 6
