She wasn’t sure whether he agreed with what had happened or not, and she was feeling as if she was about to be scolded for something.
“Well, that’s a shitty thing,” he finally said, “but you’re dealing with different personalities, and that’s why they frown on workplace romance. You could file a grievance, but I’ve seen this kind of thing before, and even if things go your way, in the end, they won’t. Just my two cents, though. You can take what you want from it. At the same time, if I were you, I would get real clear on your relationship with the lieutenant, because if that’s what you want to work out, you may need to dial back on your criticism. The guy I met last night gave me the impression that he wouldn’t handle that kind of thing very well, in my opinion.”
He reached over, pressed his hand to her arm, and rubbed, then stepped back and slipped his shades back on. “Enjoy your time off,” was all he said before he inclined his head and started walking away to City Hall, up the steps, where she’d been headed moments ago. He didn’t look back.
As that giant empty hole filled her stomach and chest, she realized that her feelings had everything to do with Harold, a man she’d believed had deceived her. He was right about one thing she needed to figure out: Where exactly did all of this put her relationship with Toby?
Chapter Twelve
Not only was there an email in her inbox, an official letter from Lieutenant Toby Chandler, outlining her time off for the rest of the week, but she couldn’t believe he’d actually added in the instruction for her to be cleared by a doctor.
She stared at the email, which had dinged on her phone as she passed the sheriff’s office, having decided to walk the few blocks from City Hall to the firehall. Evidently, that had been a bad idea, considering Toby was still smarting over her having pointed out that he wasn’t qualified to be her boss. What really pissed her off was the fact that he was messing with her job, her career, something she loved and was really good at, over what? He was taking this very personally.
She just shook her head, pulled up Toby’s name on her cell, and dialed his number. It rang twice, three times, then went to voicemail: “Hey, this is Lieutenant Toby Chandler. I’m likely on the job right now, so leave a message and I’ll get right back to you. Have a great day.” More than likely, he’d seen her name on the screen and was too chickenshit to talk to her.
“Asshole!” she muttered, then waited for the beep to start her message. “I’m pretty sure you know damn well who this is, considering you just fired off an official request that’s absolute bullshit. You know I’m fine. You’re just pissed because I spoke up and said what no one else has the guts to say…”
She stopped talking when she heard the beep, realizing she’d been cut off. She pulled the phone away and stared at it before hitting the end button. She couldn’t remember ever having felt quite so helpless as this. This was cruel and underhanded. She wanted to go head to head with him, and she took one step and then another before making herself stop, taking in the steps up to the sheriff’s office.
She started up them and pulled open the glass door, and before she could consider what she was doing, she was walking inside. She heard the phones, saw where Charlotte sat with her long dark hair pinned up, wearing a deputy’s uniform, and Colby sat at another desk, on the phone. And her brother? Where he was, she didn’t know.
“Suzanne, what brings you by?” Charlotte said, stuffing a file into the old filing cabinet.
Suzanne took in the two other empty desks and wondered which of them belonged to Harold.
“Heard about last night from Marcus,” Charlotte continued. “He was sure worried about you.”
She really did have a calming way about her. With her and Marcus together, seeing them now, Suzanne couldn’t shake the sense of how right they seemed, as if they’d always been together.
“Is Marcus in?” she said. She couldn’t shake the awkward feeling, which was silly.
Charlotte glanced over to the closed door of his office. “He’s in with Lonnie. Not sure how long he’ll be,” she said, then gestured to her desk before glancing over her shoulder to Colby, who was still on the phone. “You know what? I’m sure he won’t be much longer. I could poke my head in and let him know you’re here.”
Suzanne could see she was trying, but she couldn’t shake the sense of feeling so out of place. She wondered if Harold would walk in. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. Charlotte reached over and rested her hand on her arm when she didn’t answer.
“No, don’t bother him,” Suzanne said. “I can wait a minute. It’s nothing urgent. Just had the day off and was in the neighborhood…”
Charlotte lifted a brow. Of course, it sounded like an excuse, considering she never just dropped by at the sheriff’s office because she was in the neighborhood, not really.
“Okay, that sounded really pathetic, didn’t it?” she said.
Charlotte seemed to consider something, and then an odd smile touched her lips. “You know if you need something or just want to bend Marcus’s ear, you don’t have to explain yourself to me. I know he’d be happy to see you, and it’s okay to stop in. You don’t need a reason. I’m sure Marcus would be happy just to see you’re all right. I know he was worried about you and Harold being trapped back there in the fire. He was pretty angry with Toby, too. Apparently they got into it last night a little bit…” She bit her lip as if she’d said something she shouldn’t have.
“I’m fine,” Suzanne said. “I barely breathed any smoke, just a little. Harold was more affected. My trip to the hospital was routine. They checked me over, and I was home a few hours later. So what happened between my brother and Toby?”
Charlotte glanced over to the closed door of the sheriff’s office. “Oh, they had a conversation, something about him screwing up last night and the fact that things could’ve ended far worse than they did, and his incompetence could’ve cost you your life, that kind of thing. Sorry. I know you and Toby have a thing and all and are together, but I’m with Marcus on this. When he told me about the calls Toby made, how you were trapped in that back room, we realized that if it hadn’t been for Kyle pulling everyone in and using every resource to put out the fire and get you out…”
The door opened, and she heard her brother and Lonnie as they stepped out into the bullpen, still talking. She didn’t miss the surprise on his face when he saw her.
“Suzanne, didn’t know you were coming by,” Marcus said. He walked over to them and handed Charlotte a file, and she saw the chemistry between them, the caring in their relationship, which did seem to work, even here at the office.
“Yeah, I, uh, was just in the neighborhood…”
Marcus glanced down to Charlotte, who was giving him everything, and Suzanne saw something unspoken between them. “Come on in,” he said. “Wanted to see how you were, anyway. You saved me a phone call.” He tilted his head toward the office. “Was going to check in…”
She followed him into his office and closed the door, taking in Bert’s old desk, which Marcus had now taken over. It didn’t appear that he’d changed anything: the same dated coat rack, the same old maps on the wall.
Marcus stopped talking and was now leaning against his desk, crossing his arms. He hadn’t shaved, and she wondered, after last night, how much sleep he’d had.
“So, I heard you got into it with Toby,” she said. Was that really what she wanted to know? No. She was still reeling from having been sidelined over something beyond her control, on grounds that were completely invalid. She was pacing, and it wasn’t lost on her how Marcus’s eyes tracked her.
“So you’re here because of Toby,” he said.
She shook out her arms, feeling so unsettled. “No, I was seriously out front, about ready to walk on down to the firehall, when Toby sent me an email benching me officially after we had a fight this morning. I figured I should take a minute and calm down before I made things worse.”
Marcus just raised his brows, maybe surprised. “Benched you
for what?” he said. There it was, the tone he used when Toby’s name came up.
“Did you know that Toby has been offered or is about to be given a promotion to captain?” she said. She could tell by Marcus’s face that he hadn’t heard.
He made a rude noise and then pressed his thumb and finger to the bridge of his nose. “Let me guess: The chief was behind it. Wow. I don’t even know what to say to that. First lieutenant and now captain? I seriously hope you can see it now.”
She didn’t miss the accusation, the anger that always seemed to simmer just below the surface, showing how much he despised Toby. If there was anyone her brother was never going to give a pass to, Toby was definitely that person.
“When he showed up this morning, thinking I’d be happy for him over the news, I may have outlined how he screwed up last night at the fire. But you already know that. What’s worse is that he can’t see it, and he didn’t appreciate my commenting on the real reason he got the promotion, which is because of his grandfather, not because he earned it. Now I’m on a week’s holiday, and he wants a doctor’s note before I can go back to work. To add insult to injury, he just emailed me officially.” She went to pull her phone from her purse, then dropped her hand. “I’m ranting, but I figured it was best to come in here and vent to you instead of making a fool of myself at the firehall, where it could be used against me and would likely have me benched permanently.”
Marcus didn’t seem impressed and was shaking his head. “Please let this mean that you’re done with him and see how he’s not worth your time. That’s all I ask. And you’re right: You can stop in and vent anytime.”
What could she say? She was furious with Toby, but at the same time, after the night before, everything about her and Toby had suddenly become more complicated.
She didn’t answer the question. Instead, she said, “So I ran into Harold a bit ago outside City Hall. I see he’s working today. How’s he doing?”
From the way Marcus narrowed his eyes, she could see his interest. “Harold is fine. He was told to take it easy, but he said he’s good, and that’s good enough for me. So what’s the deal with you two? And don’t say it’s nothing, Suzanne. I watched you both last night. Did something happen that I should know about?”
There it was, the scenario between her and Harold, which had also become more complicated.
Just then, there was a knock at the door, and it popped open.
“Sheriff, I just got word that they found the surveillance video…” Harold poked his head in and stopped talking when he saw her. He nodded and opened the door, fully stepping in. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt.”
“No, it’s fine,” Marcus said as he stood, stepping away from the desk and giving everything to Harold, who was now so close to her. She didn’t know what expression was on her face, and she couldn’t pull her gaze from him. “What was that about the surveillance video?”
Harold glanced her way for only a second. “In the store, from the cameras before the fire. The store security indicated they had a suspect, whom they were watching. He appeared nervous, and they suspected he was up to no good, as the manager put it. They’re sending video surveillance over for us to see. The arson investigator has indicated in a preliminary report to the mayor that it likely started in a couple spots, clothing and sporting goods. I said you’d want to look at it.”
She wondered how much of this Toby already knew. All of it, likely. She was out of the loop, and she crossed her arms over her chest, feeling so out of place. “So it was arson,” she said, more to herself than anything.
Marcus gestured to Harold and didn’t look her way. “Let me know as soon as the video shows up so we can figure out who this suspect is. I’d love to have this closed down instead of starting a long, drawn-out investigation.”
Harold nodded to her and then turned and started out of the office, but he stopped in the doorway for just a second. “Suzanne,” was all he said.
She found herself just staring at the open door after he walked away. She heard her brother clear his throat, and she turned back to him and took in the open question on his face, which was unmistakable.
“You mind telling me what that was about?” he said. From his expression, for a second, she didn’t know what he was talking about. When she didn’t say anything, he stepped over to her and looked down at her, then over to the open door where Harold had been. “Maybe there is hope for you, after all,” he added, as if considering something. Then he pulled in a breath. “Right, you and Harold were an item in high school, huh… Just remember, Suzanne, he’s a good guy.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Suzanne said, not liking the direction he was going with this. “It was a long time ago. There’s nothing between us anymore.”
Marcus shook his head. “Really? Maybe you want to tell yourself that, because the way you’re watching him isn’t saying there’s nothing. Take it from someone who knows you, Suzanne.”
For a second, she was about to deny it, but Marcus cut her off.
“Harold is a good guy,” he said. “If you want him, fine, but don’t mess with my deputy. He’s good at what he does. With you being angry at Toby and him pulling this stupid-ass shit, maybe I should thank him, because the only thing I want for you, Suzanne, is for you to stop making excuses for Toby Chandler and see him for who he is.”
Her brother’s gaze lingered another second in that way that said he thought he knew something, and she knew it was now time to go.
Chapter Thirteen
She took in the red shiny firetruck, which Kyle was washing down by hand from a soap bucket. The doors of the firehall were open, and she heard voices inside. Her hair was hanging long and loose, and she had opted for casual blue jeans and a white T-shirt. Her hands were sweating, and she felt awkward in a way that was silly. As she looked up at the firehall, the red brick, the windows, Kyle lifted his hand and called out to her. She couldn’t shake this sense that things would never be the same again. She loved this place, being a firefighter. It was just one of those things she knew she was born to do.
“Toby in?” she asked as she stepped up to the doors.
Kyle just gestured to the upstairs window as he fired the hose to rinse off the firetruck. She kept going into the firehouse and heard voices from the back kitchen, but she didn’t bother going in to say hi to anyone. That wasn’t why she was there. She wouldn’t allow herself to become distracted as she started up the stairs.
It had been two days since Toby had fired off that email and three days since she’d been eating her heart out because he was stringing her along. She spotted him behind his desk, doing paperwork, she supposed. As she tapped on the door, she took in his surprise when he looked up and over to her. He leaned back in his chair, and it squeaked.
“Suzanne, what are you doing here?” He gestured toward her before tossing down the pen he was holding. “I told you to take the week off.”
She didn’t miss how cool he was in the way he watched her. He didn’t pull his gaze from her, and there was nothing fun and flirty there. She reached into her purse and pulled out an envelope to toss onto his desk.
His hand rested on it. “What’s this?” He held it up.
She stepped into the office, leaving the door open. “What you asked for, a doctor’s note, remember? You want official, there it is. I’m all cleared to return to work.”
He gave the envelope a toss without bothering to look at it, considering the trouble he’d made her go to. She’d visited her family doctor for a quick exam, then had to pay two hundred bucks just for the signed letter.
“You’re still off for the week,” he said, closing the file he was looking at.
“Is this my punishment for talking to you the way I did?” she said. “Or are you wanting me to apologize? Because an apology isn’t coming.”
This time, he slid back his chair and strode past her to give the door a shove closed, then walked to the window. She could see the way he fisted his
hands. Evidently, that happy loving feeling for her was gone. So it was that easy. He crossed his arms and leaned against the window. There was something about Toby: When someone pissed him off, he made no attempt to hide it.
“I’m not punishing you,” he said. “Is that what you think this is?”
Was he serious?
He pushed away from the window and ran his hands through his thick dark hair. “You scared the shit out of me, Suzanne, what you did in the fire. I always thought you had my back. What’s really going on with you and this Harold Waters?”
She just stared at him, wondering where this was coming from. “There’s nothing between me and Harold. And about what happened in the fire, we’ve already been through this, so let’s not rehash it. Harold and I dated in high school, years ago, just like I’m sure you’ve dated many women before me. This has everything to do with how you took your personal feelings and brought them into this firehall.” She strode over to his desk and picked up the envelope he’d tossed to the side, setting it in the center of his desk and jabbing it with her middle finger. “This may be a joke to you, but it cost me two hundred dollars and time away from a job I love, all because I’ve, what, stepped on your ego? I won’t apologize for that. Toby, this silent treatment is ridiculous and juvenile. Two days ago, I called you, and yeah, I left you a pissed-off message, but I had a right to be furious. You never even had the decency to call me back.” She shrugged and didn’t know what to make of the way he was watching her.
“Maybe I overreacted,” he said, starting toward her. There was something in the way he was looking at her, the way his voice had softened. It had her feeling uncomfortable. He was so handsome, so drop-dead gorgeous, and it really did cloud her good sense.
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