by Allie Santos
I grasped it, my blood rushing with adrenaline. The heavy weight in my hand felt terrific, and I automatically felt more protected. My finger traced the sharp blade from base to tip.
“Shouldn’t this burn me?”
“Iron would. That’s steel.” She deftly flipped the dagger in her hand, then sighed at the question in my eyes. “Iron is outlawed to all except Fae Guard. Plus, we’re practicing, wouldn’t be the best idea if we got ourselves a case of iron poisoning during practice.” Her grin was cheeky, but she turned serious just as quickly.
“You’re going to have to angle yourself like this.” Gracelyn demonstrated the side tilt, and I mimicked her. “This is a blade-heavy dagger, so you will have to make sure the blade is first when you throw. In addition—”
Unable to help it any longer, I threw, following the directions she had given me. I watched the thing sail over the board and far into the brush.
“And since you have Fae speed, that’s where the balance comes in, too,” she said wryly.
I winced when I heard it hit the side of the far-off wall. “Sorry,” I mumbled.
“Try again, but this time, really try to keep your strength in mind,” she instructed. I weighed the handle in my hand, gripping it tightly. “Loosen your hold. You’re going to want to barely be grasping when you throw it, let the momentum of your movement take it.”
Nerves made my hand moist as I palmed it once more. I mimicked Gracelyn’s position, wondering how I was supposed to think about my strength. This time, the weapon whirled twice before falling to the ground… many feet away from the target.
“This is going to take a lot of tries.” Gracelyn placed her fisted hands on her waist.
Many attempts later, I got it to graze the board. Despite my lack of success, I enjoyed myself. Gracelyn had a dry wit that amused me. The ease of conversation we fell into reminded me of the girls—my fellow ex-hostages. I rubbed the indents on my wrists, the clear reminder of what I’d gone through alongside them.
As much as I missed them, I was thankful for the friendship Cora and I had struck. She was a godsend. A worrying mother hen for sure, but awesome nonetheless.
I was unsure of how much time had passed when Gracelyn tilted her head. “We have to go. Guard rotations will be changing soon.”
“See you tomorrow, same time,” I chirped, feeling breathless as I once again fetched the daggers I threw too far.
I thought it fair I be the runner considering she was taking the time to train me. The first rounds when she’d fetched them, it felt wrong, and as soon as I realized it was because of the label thrust on me, I set her straight real quick.
“Yes, my Queen.” The words were sarcastic, but I pushed my shoulder into hers. It should have made her lose her balance, considering how petite she was, but she remained unfazed. Disgruntled, I stuck my tongue out at her.
“I wish I knew what the hell that even meant,” I said, referencing the Queen title. She titled her head. “Ty hasn’t informed me on what makes my ‘role’ is.” I threw up air quotes around the word. I gazed at her, hoping she would read between the lines and tell me what I wanted to know. I turned away after the silence stretched between us.
“A ruler’s main job is to protect their people.” I snapped to attention when Gracelyn began talking. “And to keep order.”
I waited for her to continue but she fell silent. When she didn’t speak up, I asked, “So this supposed unlimited power is for me to keep order?”
“Yes.”
“And there’s only one person that can have this power?” It was harder to get Gracelyn to talk than even Rian and that was saying something. At her curt nod, I frowned. Roark’s grandfather was the King. “Luz said the King tricked everyone into thinking he was the one with the essence. How did he manage to do that?”
“He had strong persuasion abilities.” The word rang a bell. “He also ruled with an iron fist and many were too scared to go against him and his display of power. He already had Luz’s grandfather dealt with, along with the rest of her family, leaving Fae no choice but to accept his rule. He used fear and cruelty to control. Unbeknownst to him, the King before him, Luz’s grandfather, had already named Luz his Heir. So, when he was murdered, the essence went straight to her.” She paused and looked up at the dark sky. “The king had been training his grandson as his successor, to be as heartless as he was. Thankfully, Luz arrived to stop his leadership. And that was that. Centuries later, she bound magic after her mate was murdered.” With an offhand shrug, she turned and twirled the dagger again. “I was not here to see the theatrics play out. I was born outside of this boundary right before magic was gone, but stories like this are passed on like a pandemic.”
My mind raced with the information. Gracelyn looked behind her and mouthed that she had to go before disappearing through the same door we’d come through. I crept after her, memorizing the way for tomorrow.
As I wound my way through the hallway, the irony in the situation struck me. Luz’s family had been killed and run off the same as Roark’s. And Roark had been so young. He’d also been the grandson the evil King tried to make like himself. I wonder how he’d attempted to twist Roark. Considering his singlemindedness, I doubted it was pretty. It would make sense if his perspective of what happened was overshadowed by what he was told. Roark’s comment about becoming the rightful King went with the story. If only he had known his family was the one that was wrong.
It was all one fucked up circle. Despite myself, sympathy for Roark made its way to my chest. He’d been so young, and in his young eyes, his family had been torn from him, then he’d been left in the care of abusive Fae who were supposed to keep him safe. I truly understood what he must have felt and how that drove him to do the things he’d done. It wasn’t an excuse, but I got it.
Rubbing my forehead, I pushed open my door. My duty as Queen wasn’t clear. What exactly did keeping order even mean? But staying here was not an option, and it conflicted with everything I strove for. I wanted to go home. Being Fae was not something I ever wanted to apply for. All I had was hope that when magic was unbound, something could be done to rid me of this burden. Namely, passing the essence on to someone else. There were tons of Fae more qualified for the position.
I closed my eyes and tried to imagine myself permanently integrated with the Fae, and I just couldn’t. I couldn’t let go of that human side of me. Of the desire to be around people… to be with my sister. To finish college. To live my life.
The two parts of me pulled at each other, fighting for dominance even though I already knew which side of me would win.
11
“It also depends on what kind of knife you wield,” Gracelyn said.
I considered that. “Maybe I can ask Ty to get me some.”
“No,” Gracelyn exclaimed.
I sighed at her stubbornness. She was determined this little exercise stay between me and her because she was scared this Flynn guard would put a stop to her midnight training ritual.
“Have you heard from Conan yet?” she asked.
At the apparent change of topic, I let my expression tell her I was onto her.
Retracting my arm, I loosened my hold just right and let my arm flow. The thump of the knife was satisfying as it hit the edge of the wood. I grinned, proud of myself.
It had been almost two weeks, and we’d been practicing non-stop every night at the same time. My training with Ty had continued. I was making progress. Granted, little, but I was still advancing. It was frustrating when I thought I had control, only for it to flow out of my hands as if I were trying to grasp water. He’d had to save me from blowing up too many times to count.
As for Ty, every time he tried to bring up the day we were interrupted, I found a way to change the subject. I was still embarrassed by my actions, and I’d rather it be buried dead.
“No, Cora’s just growing more frantic about his absence, and without their bond, she wouldn’t even know if he’s dead.”
; “He’s not.” Gracelyn sounded so positive, I gave her a questioning look. “Conan is amazing at what he does. He wouldn’t dare get taken down.”
I heard a bit of hero-worship, and I rubbed a hand over my mouth to hide the grin. She smacked my arm, and I made a big deal, rubbing it dramatically. Honestly, it had smarted, but I was learning to take her love taps.
“Time’s up.” She collected her daggers and slid them into the folds under her long skirt. The other day, I’d asked her why she didn’t wear pants, and she went on a rant about Cybel wanting all castle working ladies to wear distinguishing garments. I still needed to hunt that Fae down and convince her that was ridiculous.
“Want to go for a stroll?” I asked, and at her immediate denial, I hooked my arm through hers and tugged her along. I’d had enough of her backing out and disappearing after our sessions. She always seemed skittish whenever I asked her to do something. As it was, she acted like she didn’t know me if I saw her walking down the hall. I had no clue what she was worried about.
“No one is out and about right now, anyway. You said so yourself. And this Flynn can deal with me if he has a problem with you walking around. It’s not like you’ll be training,” I urged.
She finally stopped trying to pull away from me. I glanced down at my clothes, satisfied nothing indicated that I’d been training. I pulled Gracelyn onto a cobbled path that led away from the castle and through the apartment walkways. The buildings loomed overhead, unlike the view from the castle. From down here, I felt like an ant surrounded by the tall rows of buildings.
Walking down the first lane, I noticed her dismay and her gaze attached to the one at the end. Her body tensed as we neared. “I heard a rumor. Did the Elvin leader make a deal to make you his mate?”
Wrinkling my nose, I nodded. “Yeah, it was for information, but Ty said we could find a way out of the deal. And thank God for that. He’s so… much. I mean, not bad to look at, but no.”
Gracelyn flipped her ponytail to her other side and reached up with the hand I wasn’t holding hostage. She fiddled with the tip and smirked. “I’ve heard stories about his attributes. They surpass plains.”
“It must be a huge deal,” I exaggerated, and she threw her head back, laughing.
As she opened her mouth to say something, a familiar, lilting voice called out. “What are you doing?”
Gracelyn tensed. Ahead of us, the door to the apartment she’d been looking at mere feet away was wide open. A shadow stepped out. I blinked and waited for my sight to focus.
“Answer me. What are you doing out at this hour?” A growl accompanied the words.
Gracelyn pursed her lips and looked up at the broad male I’d seen her gaze at with longing. Over our two weeks bonding, I’d tried to get more information about this infamous Flynn, but she was as tightlipped as they came. I understood her resistance in talking about it, but I made it clear I was there if she ever needed a shoulder.
“Flynn—”
“Why’d you leave me mid-tonguing?” a coy feminine voice whined and came onto the scene. An arm wrapped around his lean, bare waist. I winced as Gracelyn squeezed and almost pulverized my hand.
Lilith looked around his arm and met my eyes. “Oh, hello, Queen,” She bowed her head and cleared her throat. “And Gracie.”
“Gracelyn, what are you doing out? It’s dangerous.” There was still a tenseness to Flynn’s voice. “You as well, Queen—I mean, Rae.”
He included me as an afterthought. This guy was extra interested in Gracelyn. I narrowed my eyes at the way he looked at her, and yet here he was, with her friend wrapped around his waist.
“I just wanted some air, and I persuaded Gracelyn to accompany me,” I interjected into the thick atmosphere.
Gracelyn looked away from the couple at the door. “We’ll be going now.”
She tugged me, and I gladly went along with her. I looked back at them and saw Flynn still staring as the redhead tugged at his arm. He shrugged her off as I turned away. We walked in silence for so long, I was worried she’d had some sort of attack.
“It makes me so mad,” Gracelyn exclaimed so abruptly she caused me to jump. “She’s always gotten everything. When we came here together, I saw him first. I wanted him first. I could have sworn if magic was still here, we would have been mates.” She scoffed. “But he couldn’t be bothered by me. All he saw was Lilith and getting her in his bed.” She squeezed her eyes. “She’s my cousin, so it’s not like I can hate her or ignore her. I’ve tried so hard to bury this feeling.”
“What if you are mates?” I asked, hushed.
“Then I hope I am far away from this place when you manage to free magic. After all I have seen of him and my cousin, I could never be with him. Not only because it hurts, but I cannot do that to her, either.” Gracelyn looked up at me. “That’s why I want to leave this place.”
“That’s why you’re always so sad.” I’d had a feeling it was something like that all those weeks ago when I saw her looking off as they left her behind.
“You understand, I feel it. You have this same pain.”
I nodded at her observation. “Have you tried getting over him? Looking elsewhere?” I only brought this up because of my fling with Ty. It had helped marginally, but at least the incessant pain lightened.
“No one sees me that way.” She ground her teeth. I eyed her doubtfully. How was that possible? My friend was ethereally pretty with her delicate features.
We pushed through the entrance and into the main hall where three Fae guards stood, discussing something intently. I heard Tyran’s name, but when they saw me, they clammed up. I was about to confront them when Cybel stepped in front of me.
“Rae, Coraline is looking for you.”
She seemed frantic, and I automatically thought the worst. “Is someone hurt?”
One of the guards stepped away from the group of three and disappeared down one of the many hallways.
“Rae!” Cora’s voice sounded from behind me, and I whirled around. I was sure popular today.
What was going on?
Cora strode up to where Cybel, Gracelyn, and I stood. “I’ve been looking for you. I was so worried when I didn’t find you in your room.”
“Are you okay?” My eyes widened. “Is Teagan okay?”
“Yeah, I’m wondering what is going on. I can’t find Rian.” Her mouth set in a firm line, and I knew she had to be worrying about Conan.
Tyran entered the room behind the guard who had disappeared. He stopped and gave me a long lingering look before turning to the other two guards. They bent their heads together and whispered between themselves. Oh, something was seriously up.
“Did you see that look he gave you?” Cora gripped my wrist, her words hushed. “You can’t deny it now. Ty likes you.”
I rolled my eyes at her words. If only she knew about us messing around. She’d been nagging me about Ty for the last week. I’d managed to play off what happened for the most part, but the words wanted to spill from me. It didn’t help that she made a big deal about the nickname I’d given him.
“Does not,” I mouthed right back and narrowed my gaze at her threateningly.
Rian appeared beside Cora, causing everyone to jump. “There’s a lead on unbinding magic.”
I jerked straight up, and Cora looked hopeful. “Conan is back?” she squeaked more than asked.
“Yes, my heart.” Conan’s deep voice sounded behind us. She whipped to the side, and a grin spread over her face. “I just returned. Rian met me at the edge of the boundary, and I filled him in.”
Cora didn’t let another word escape his mouth before she shot up and threw herself at him with a squeal. He caught her, chuckling as he squeezed her to him, the love evident on his face.
“Conan,” I exclaimed, glad he was safe. “How was my sister?” The question burst from me. I needed to know. I practically trembled with excitement.
“She gave me this for you,” Conan reached in his pocket and pulled out a
slip. I gripped it. The paper was a receipt folded up. My grin hurt my face. I couldn’t wait to read it.
Behind them, Ty’s gaze shifted from me to Conan with concern. He said something to the guards and walked in our direction, his stride determined. I slipped my note in my pants.
A thunderous bang echoed from outside. A scuffle sounded as crashes erupted and echoed off the cavernous hall. The doors leading to the entrance were shoved forward, hitting the side of the walls. Four guards were panting with exertion as they muscled in a slumped body. Recognizing the form, I gasped.
“Roark?”
12
His dark hair was disheveled and longer than I had seen it. The messy waves close to his head and hung around his ears in stained clumps, matted with dirt and his face was shadowed with stubble. His piercing lavender eyes drilled into me, not allowing me to move an inch.
“Rae?” Gracelyn asked. She sounded far away, and it wasn’t until then that I realized I was shaking like a leaf.
Then his voice caressed over my skin. “Rae.”
I tried not to look at him. I turned away, but my eyes betrayed me and flicked back to him. His familiar scarred visage was haggard and smudged with dirt. I looked past all the dirt and focused on his fathomless eyes that hinted at nothing.
He stared at me as if trying to convey something. I tried to breathe, but it kept hitching with my uneven heart rate. Thunder rolled outside, my strict control on the weather wavering. I must have made a sound because Roark went to stand, shouldering against the Fae at his sides, his hand extending in my direction.
A familiar hand touched my shoulder, and I turned toward it. I grasped Ty in what must have been an uncomfortable hug as I tried to gather my wits. I didn’t want Roark to see me weak. To know the pain he’d caused. I had to hide.
A hiss sounded. “Get your filthy hands off her.”
I jerked at his voice. There was a whoosh beside me and the hard sound of a body dropping. I detached myself from Ty and looked down. Roark’s body lay at my feet, his hand stretched out in my direction as he reached for me. I looked to the side at a panting Cora. She held up the handle of a long sword. Conan looked up at her and then at his side, where the sword had hung moments ago.
