by Allie Santos
“You little devil.” Conan’s tone indicated his approval.
“I wasn’t too sure that would work,” she rasped, her eyes alight with shock and adrenaline. “But I figured he was weak enough not to heal automatically.”
“Well bloody done,” Conan said. His eyes shone with pride and lust as they raked over a blushing Cora, who handed his weapon back.
Rian crouched next to Roark and analyzed him. “It would not have worked if he had been at full strength, but he looks like he hasn’t rested in ages.” His voice was thoughtful. “He also seems to have some wounds.”
Him being injured alarmed me, and I hated myself a little for being concerned. Trying to peer at the wounds casually, I saw nothing. Rian must have guessed my thoughts because he suddenly pushed him over to reveal a large gash down his thigh. The wound was open and oozed purple blood. There were colorful leaves and debris dried on it.
My stomach pitched. I wanted to fall to the ground and grab onto Roark, but I stepped away from Ty and fixed my expression into impassivity.
“What would you like us to do?” Ty asked in a gentle tone.
Pursing my lips, I felt foolish. I knew they had some idea of Roark hurting me, but it wasn’t until then that my suspicion was confirmed. I wanted to say so many other things than what came out of my mouth. “I don’t care.”
The words were brave, but the hitch in my voice gave me away. Oh, and the furious pounding of hail against the walls of the castle. I looked away from his still body and tilted my head up. “We need to talk about what you found, Conan. I’ll wait in the planning room.”
I stalked out, pushing against my desire to stay and touch Roark. With every step, my heart pulsed painfully, but I forced myself forward.
I’d seen almost every hall in this sprawling castle, but I’d never actually entered any other room than my bedroom, the training room, and the lookout room, which was what I’d dubbed the little room Ty had shown me.
My Fae-made shoes allowed quick and silent movements, sliding softly against the hard floors as I made my way to the intimidating planning room. Everyone else called it the war room, but I refused to. It just sounded too doom and gloom. Hence the renaming. I was hoping PR would catch on, but I wasn’t having any success.
Still reeling over Roark, I took a breath and stumbled against the wall. Tilting my head back, I squeezed my eyes shut. I couldn’t let the pretty, remnant scraps of what I used to feel for him make me weak. That’s all they were, memories, and I had no desire to walk down memory lane.
I dipped into my magical well and tried to force the weather under control. My fingers twitched with the exertion of electricity running through me. Fear shot through me as my chest expanded. On a gasp, I retreated from the well. When I opened my eyes, the glass ceiling had a layer of snow.
Rolling my shoulders out, I straightened and continued to my destination. Unsurprisingly, I was the only one occupying the room. With a sigh, I took a seat at one of the chairs surrounding the intricate table. I set my elbows on the surface and dropped my head into my hands, groaning as I pulled at my long, dark hair.
“Oh, dear.” Cora’s voice made me shoot up, and I forced a smile. “I know that look.”
“What?” I said innocently.
She shot me a look and twisted her lips as she slid into her chair. “I know you never speak of it, but the whole evasion thing you’ve had whenever he comes up was clue enough.”
Her eyes shone with sympathy as they gazed at me. That’s why I loved her. We’d known each other such a short time, and she’d told me everything about her and Conan, but not once had she ever pushed me to reveal my pain. I guessed that’s why I understood Gracelyn’s evasiveness.
“I just…” I ran my hand through my hair. “He and that evil bitch put me through so much crap. Why do I feel so relieved to see him?” I’d thought I’d kicked the whole feelings for Roark thing. Sure, I’d had momentary lapses involving fantasies of his body and mine, but ignoring them had worked out for me so far.
“Rae,” Cora said gently, and her hand settled on my shoulder. “You’re okay.”
My skin itched. “I just want to go away. I don’t want to be near him, Cora.”
“My dear friend, what exactly did he do to you?”
“He’s my mate,” I rasped and squeezed my eyes shut when I heard her gasp.
“Wha-what? How do you know this?” By the stunned expression on her face, this hadn’t been what she’d guessed.
“That’s why Sabine looked for me. Hag used her dark magic to find me. Not only for that sacrifice to free magic, but also because she needed my blood to complete a melding between them with dark magic.”
There was absolute silence. Arms slid around me, and I turned into them. Her hand rubbed small circles on my back. I let out a shuddering breath.
“Well, it is no wonder you left him. I would have done the same.” Her words were indignant, and I let a little laugh slip out.
“It’s been hard,” I admitted—my most profound shame. “I’ve missed him so much.”
“I know you have. We knew something damaging happened, but Rian said that it was your business when we asked of it. Just know that you made the right choice. Mates are sacred and should be treated as such. He disrespected that and does not deserve the rare gift.” I rubbed my chest where the ache gradually spread. A need to see my sister filled me. She was familiar, and the only affection I could count on. I swallowed hard to push back the emotion tearing through me.
I pulled back and offered her a shaky smile. “They won’t let me leave, will they?”
She pursed her lips, her expression determined. “They want you to be safe. You are the only hope we have… So, it won’t be an easy argument, but we might be able to convince them.”
A flash of relief flooded through me. She was going to help me fight for some freedom. Hopefully, I wouldn’t have to see Roark. I’d find a way to evade him.
Conan strode in with Rian and Ty behind him. They spoke in hushed tones as they took their seats around the table. All I heard was his name as they crossed the doorway, and my eyes narrowed in on them as the conversation stopped. Ty smiled at me tightly, but otherwise evaded my questioning gaze.
Conan’s long-legged stride took him to the seat next to Cora, and he slumped into the chair, slamming his booted feet up onto the table. Rian’s disapproving look did nothing to sway Conan, who just winked at him.
“Before you debrief us on your findings, my love, Rae has something to say.” Cora turned to me with an encouraging smile. I narrowed my eyes at her. Damn her for putting me on the spot.
A plan spawned as she gave me an encouraging look. “Rian, do I still have that magical residue?”
“No,” he answered curtly and looked at the ceiling as if he knew what I was about to propose.
“I’ve been here for a while, and I would like to go to the human side to check on my sister and friends—in person. I don’t even know how long it’s been in human time. For all I know, she could be an old lady now.” My words came out in a rush and, even to myself, a bit frantic.
“She’s not,” Conan said softly as if he were speaking to a child. Jealousy that he’d gotten to see her made my teeth grit.
“You’re trying to run, Rae,” Rian said. “This is what you do. Run.”
His words took me aback, and if I were honest, they hurt a little. Yes, I knew I was running again, but couldn’t he see that it was how I dealt with things? I was always running because I didn’t want to deal with shit. It was a way to preserve. It was how I’d always come out okay.
“That is not terribly fair, Rian,” Cora scolded, glaring at him. “She has people she loves in the human world. When I came here, I disliked my family. You can’t take that from her.”
“We have to figure out how to unbind—”
“Yes, we know she has a duty. She knows it, too,” Ty interrupted Rian. I shot him a small smile of appreciation.
“It may be our only ho
pe,” Conan interjected, and Cora threw him a lovelorn glance while Rian glared at him. “I took so long because you can only see goblins during a full moon and only after I almost died to get the substance. They refused to speak to me and demanded to talk to the Queen. Because you have something they would like to trade for the information.”
That made my stomach drop. Oh, God, what if they wanted an unborn child, or a limb or— I shook my head, trying to dislodge the morbid thoughts.
“I am concerned about the other Unnaturals. If they find the Queen of Faerie, they will kill her.” Ty’s brows dipped into a frown.
“It’s not like she can access her magic for them to sense her. She won’t be traced.” Conan sat back, looking satisfied.
“She can’t go without protection,” Ty urged. “I will go with her.”
Rian snorted. “Tyran, you have never even seen the human realm. The best bet here is to send Conan with her.”
“No.” I sat up, and everyone’s attention whipped to me. It wasn’t until then that I realized I had yelled. “I won’t have Conan leave Cora for however long. They’ve been separated enough. I know you guys think I’m weak and that I can’t handle anything remotely important.” I couldn’t help the sardonic edge to my tone.
“It is not that, Rae,” Ty said before I could continue my rant. “You were human before you were dragged into our world.” Well, that was quite literal. “We are trying to take as much stress from your shoulders as we can so you can concentrate on gaining control.”
Irritation flashed through me. “Be that as it may, if these goblins have information on how to do it, I have to talk to them. It’s time I do something. Luz gave me life so that I could help your people. Coddling me won’t aid anything.”
Finished with my tirade, I sat back down and stared them down as they looked at one another. Cora shot me an appreciative look. There were crickets for several long moments.
“You can’t keep her in the dark forever,” Cora muttered. Rian shot her a warning look. They kept me in the dark?
“Fine,” Rian said, and I ignored the angry look he sent me. Shock coursed through me. I was going to the human world. I would see Annie.
“When do I get to leave?” I tried my hardest to keep the excitement in my voice at the minimum.
“As soon as you gather your things,” Ty responded. He knew how much I’d missed the human world. The smile on his face said he was happy for me. Affection for him flooded my heart.
“We’ll have to sneak her out. Just in case there are traitors among us who report to outside sources.”
“Rian, you’ve grown too distrustful—”
“Rightly, so,” Rian retorted crisply. Ty conceded with a tilt of his head. “Conan, you will have to debrief me on the goblins. I will be accompanying Rae into the human world.”
Conan gave a short nod. “It will have to wait, old chap. I haven’t seen my love in too long,” he said, standing, and scooped Cora up. She giggled and gazed up at him. My stomach turned at the sight. Not in a disgusted way, more like a God-I-wish-I-had-that kind of way.
Ty stood. “I will send a letter to the Elvin leader, so he knows we are working to free magic. I’ll do some digging on what I can offer him to get you out of your deal. Hopefully, I’ll have answers for you when you return. I will see you before you leave.”
Stepping over to me, he bent and kissed the top of my head. My shoulders tensed, but he didn’t seem to notice as he strode out behind the lovebirds. I met the questioning eyes of the only person left in the room.
“You aren’t leaving because of a certain Fae that happened to show up, are you?” Rian’s question shook me off balance, and my throat constricted as his early accusation rang in my ears.
Gathering myself, I narrowed my eyes at him. “No,” I said and stood. “Now, if you’ll excuse me. I have to prepare for the trip.”
I flounced out of the room, head held high. As my steps ate the distance to my bedroom, I couldn’t help the guilty feeling that bit at my stomach. A part of me had lied.
I wanted to get away. It was all I knew how to do.
13
The sight from my overly large bedroom was beautiful. Staring out into the night sky, I was glad I’d learned enough control to stop the crazy weather. But I wished I could clear it enough for glittering stars to shine through. I gnawed on my lip and wiggled into a comfortable position, so the ledge of the window I was sitting on stopped digging into my legs. The tingling sensation running through me overpowered my ability to think. But I refused to think it was nerves because Roark was in the same building.
I’d rushed here so I didn’t give in to the urge to ask where he was being held. I knew the building had lower-level holding cells similar to the ones I’d been locked in, but the only thing saving me was that I didn’t know where they were. And I made it a point not to ask. As sick as it was, I didn’t think I had the strength to resist going to him. I was a contradictory mess when it came to Roark.
Part of me wanted to march in there for the simple reason of railing at him. Where had he been? Why had he chosen to believe Sabine? Just why? But the larger part was sure to fall to the floor in a heap and cry.
I slid my hand into my pocket and pulled out the note from Annie. I bit my lip at the fast-food receipt she’d scrawled on the back of.
I’m okay, stop fussing. Your ‘helpful cheating ex’ really has been awesome. I feel bad for writing that lol. I hope you can come back soon. I love you. -Annie
I flipped the scrap, futilely hoping for more. My hearing sharpened as the door to my room swished open. I rubbed my ear as other noise—the clatter of footsteps and hushed words—filtered through the wall. I angled my head down and noticed a guard striding down the cobbled steps. Those were the steps I was hearing. It should have been impossible.
“You’re not thinking of jumping, are you?” Ty joked from behind me.
My lips twitched, but I didn’t turn around. Concentrating on channeling my hearing not to extend outside the window took all of my efforts.
“It would be more of a hassle if anything. You would land, break something, and it would take you a while to heal. Overall, a bother.”
I rolled my eyes at his lecturing tone. That seemed to be one of his most common modes.
“No, oh, wise, logical one, I wasn’t thinking of jumping,” I twisted and threw my leg over the sill. Bracing myself, I hopped onto the sleek flooring.
“Getting better at being a Fae, I see.” Ty grinned, looking pleased.
“Sadly.”
His lips pursed. Shame fused me. He didn’t deserve to have me snapping at him.
“Sorry.” I cleared my throat. “It’s just that I can’t wait to get back to my human life. I’m on edge and stressed.” I fumbled over my words, not wanting him to look so down, but they had the opposite effect.
“You do not like it here? Even a little bit?” There was a hopeful edge to his serious tone, and a jittery sensation burgeoned within my chest.
I opened my mouth, ready to answer, and then stopped. I couldn’t complain. My time here had been quite the experience. I’d made friends and people I felt comfortable with. I would be lying if I said I wouldn’t miss some of this part of my life, and yes, Ty was one of them.
“I would miss you.” I didn’t want him to get the wrong idea about us, even though I’d made it strictly clear what was between us, but I couldn’t let him think that I didn’t care about him. His answering smiled disappeared with the next words out of my mouth. “But I miss my life. I just want everything to go back to normal.”
His eyes shadowed, and his hand went up and scrubbed the back of his neck. “Why did you not tell me of these feelings? It’s not like we haven’t been spending time together.” His half-smile was wry.
“I honestly don’t know.” I paced to my bed where I’d laid out all the clothing I’d collected. “I know I have this duty. Not to mention all the Fae are counting on me.” My shoulders slumped, and I stacked my nea
tly folded pile and started organizing it into a backpack. “I just want to repay the debt of Luz saving my life.” I swallowed hard. “But, is there any way I can transfer this essence to someone else once I manage to free magic?”
I clenched the t-shirt in my hands tightly—anxiety heightening when he didn’t speak.
“That won’t be possible.” With those simple words, my heart sank. The hope I’d been harboring for months puttered out. Just as quickly, anger tightened my chest.
I whirled, tossing my shirt on my unzipped bag. “It wouldn’t be until after I’ve fulfilled my promise to Luz—”
“It is literally not possible to transfer the essence unless the holder dies,” he interrupted me. “You can’t leave once magic is unbound. You will have unlimited power. You won’t even know how to control it. You would be a danger in the human world. It would take you years to learn every facet of your power.”
I stepped back, shaking my head in denial. I couldn’t wrap my head around what he was saying. Never go back? How was I just now finding this out? I’d let my fear rule me and held onto this pointless hope. How had I not connected the dots after Luz died.
“I will be here, Rae.” His eyes clashed with mine, and it was like lifting a veil. The desire I had seen during our training sessions and when we were intimate reflected in his expression, intermingled with a deeper emotion I refused to name. Shit.
“I could show you so much.” He stepped forward and grazed my cheek with his hand. I jumped, and he pulled it back. “I know you like it when I touch you. Let us try for more.”
I squeezed my eyes shut. How I wished I could reciprocate that desire. Wished he’d been the one I’d attached myself to emotionally. My eyes opened, and I let myself take him in. He was exquisite, but I craved a scar curving down the side of his face, marking a permanent scowl down one side of his lips.
