Stories from Dickens

by Charles Dickens

  *I. MY EARLIEST RECOLLECTIONS*

  The first things that I seem to remember are the figure of my motherwith her pretty hair and youthful face, and Peggotty, our faithfulservant, large of figure, black of eye, and with cheeks and arms so hardand red that I wondered the birds didn't peck them in preference toapples. I believe I can remember these two at a little distance apart,dwarfed to my sight by stooping down or kneeling on the floor, and Igoing unsteadily from the one to the other. My father I never saw, forhe died before I was born.

  What else do I remember? Let me see. There comes to me a vision of ourquaint cosy little home, the "Rookery." On the ground floor isPeggotty's kitchen, opening into a back yard; with a pigeon-house on apole, in the centre, without any pigeons in it; a great dog-kennel in acorner, without any dog; and a quantity of fowls that look terribly tallto me, walking about, in a ferocious manner. There is one cock who getsupon a post to crow, and seems to take particular notice of me as I lookat him through the kitchen window, who makes me shiver, he is so fierce.Of the geese outside the gate who come waddling after me with their longnecks stretched out when I go that way, I dream fearfully at night.

  Here is a long passage leading from Peggotty's kitchen to the frontdoor. A dark storeroom opens out of it, and that is a place to be runpast at night; for I don't know what may be among those tubs and jarsand old tea-chests, in which there is the smell of soap, pickles,pepper, candles, and coffee, all at one whiff. Then there are the twoparlors: the parlor in which we sit of an evening, my mother and I andPeggotty--for Peggotty is quite our companion, when her work is done andwe are alone--and the best parlor where we sit on a Sunday; grandly butnot so comfortably.

  And now I see the outside of our house, with the latticed bedroomwindows standing open to let in the sweet-smelling air, and the raggedold rooks'-nests still dangling in the elm trees at the bottom of thefront garden. Now I am in the garden at the back, beyond the yard wherethe empty pigeon-house and dog-kennel are--a very preserve ofbutterflies, as I remember it, with a high fence, and a gate andpadlock; where the fruit clusters on the trees, riper and richer thanfruit has ever been since, in any other garden, and where my mothergathers some in a basket, while I stand by, bolting gooseberries slyly,and trying to look unmoved.

  A great wind rises, and the summer is gone in a moment. We are playingin the winter twilight, dancing about the parlor. When my mother is outof breath and rests herself in an elbow-chair, I watch her winding herbright curls round her fingers and straightening her waist, and nobodyknows better than I do that she likes to look so well, and is proud ofbeing so pretty.

  That is among my very earliest impressions,--that, and a sense that wewere both a little afraid of Peggotty, and submit ourselves in mostthings to her direction.

  Peggotty and I were sitting one night by the parlor fire, alone. I hadbeen reading to Peggotty about crocodiles. I must not have read veryclearly, for I remember she had a cloudy impression that they were asort of vegetable. I was tired of reading, and sleepy; but having leave,as a high treat, to sit up until my mother came home from spending theevening at a neighbor's, I would rather have died upon my post than havegone to bed.

  We had exhausted the crocodiles, and begun with alligators, when thebell rang. We went out to the door; and there was my mother lookingunusually pretty, I thought, and with her a gentleman with beautifulblack hair and whiskers, who had walked home with us from church lastSunday.

  As my mother stooped down on the threshold to take me in her arms andkiss me, the gentleman said I was a more highly privileged little fellowthan a monarch--or something like that.

  "What does that mean?" I asked him, over her shoulder.

  He patted me on the head; but somehow, I didn't like him or his deepvoice, and I was jealous that his hand should touch my mother's intouching me--which it did. I put it away as well as I could. My mothergently chid me for being rude; and, keeping me close to her shawl,turned to thank the gentleman for bringing her home.

  From the moment that I first saw the gentleman with the black whiskers,I held a deep instinctive dislike to him. And I am sure Peggotty agreedwith me, from some remarks I chanced to hear her utter to my mother.But Mr. Murdstone--that was his name--began coming often to the Rookery,and exerted himself always to be agreeable to me, calling me a fine boyand patting me on the head; so I tried to think myself very ungrateful.But still I could not make myself like him. The sight of him made mefear that something was going to happen--I didn't know what.

  Not long after that, when Peggotty and I were sitting alone, she darningand I reading farther in the crocodile book,--for my mother was out, asshe often was, with Mr. Murdstone,--she bit off a thread and asked:

  "Master Davy, how should you like to go along with me and spend afortnight at my brother's at Yarmouth? Wouldn't that be a treat?"

  "Is your brother an agreeable man, Peggotty?" I inquired doubtfully.

  "Oh, what an agreeable man he is!" cried Peggotty, holding up her hands."Then there's the sea; and the boats and ships; and the fishermen; andthe beach; and 'Am to play with--"

  Peggotty meant her nephew Ham, but she spoke of him as a morsel ofEnglish Grammar.

  I was flushed by her summary of delights, and replied that it wouldindeed be a treat, but what would my mother say?

  "Why, then, I'll as good as bet a guinea," said Peggotty, intent upon myface, "that she'll let us go. I'll ask her, if you like, as soon asever she comes home. There now!"

  "But what's she to do while we're away?" said I, putting my small elbowson the table to argue the point. "She can't live by herself."

  If Peggotty were looking for a hole, all of a sudden, in the heel ofthat stocking, it must have been a very little one indeed, and not worthdarning.

  "I say! Peggotty! She can't live by herself, you know."

  "Oh, bless you!" said Peggotty, looking at me again at last. "Don't youknow? She's going to stay for a fortnight with Mrs. Grayper. Mrs.Grayper's going to have a lot of company."

  Oh! If that was it, I was quite ready to go. I waited, in the utmostimpatience, until my mother came home from Mrs. Grayper's (for it wasthat identical neighbor), to ascertain if we could get leave to carryout this great idea. Without being nearly so much surprised as I hadexpected, my mother entered into it readily; and it was all arrangedthat night, and my board and lodging during the visit were to be paidfor.

  The day soon came for our going. It was such an early day that it camesoon, even to me, who was in a fever of expectation, and half afraidthat an earthquake or a fiery mountain, or some other accident mightstop the expedition. We were to go in a carrier's cart, which departedin the morning after breakfast. I would have given any money to havebeen allowed to wrap myself up over-night, and sleep in my hat andboots.

  It touches me nearly now, although I tell it lightly, to recollect howeager I was to leave my happy home; to think how little I suspected whatI did leave for ever.

  I am glad to recollect that when the carrier began to move, my motherran out at the gate, and called to him to stop, that she might kiss meonce more. I am glad to dwell upon the earnestness and love with whichshe lifted up her face to mine.

  As we left her standing in the road, Mr. Murdstone came up to where shewas, and chided her for being so moved. I was looking back round theawning of the cart, and wondered what business it was of his. Peggotty,who was also looking back on the other side, seemed anything butsatisfied, as the face she brought back into the cart denoted.

  The carrier's horse was the laziest horse in the world, I thought, as heshuffled along with his head down. But Peggotty had brought along abasket of refreshments which would have lasted us handsomely for ajourney three times as long. And at last we drove up to the Yarmouthtavern, where we found Ham awaiting us. He was a huge, strong fellow,about six feet high, with a simple, good-natured face.

  He put me upon his shoulder, and my box under his arm, and trudged awayeasily down a lane littered with sh
ipbuilders' odds and ends, pastforges, yards and gas works, till we came out upon an open waste ofsand, with the sea pounding upon it and eating away at it. Then Hamsaid,

  "Yon's our house, Mas'r Davy!"

  I looked in all directions, as far as I could, and away at the sea, butno house could _I_ make out. There was a black barge, or some otherkind of boat, not far off, high and dry on the ground, with an ironfunnel sticking out of it for a chimney and smoking very cosily; butnothing else in the way of a house that was visible to me.

  "That's not it?" said I. "That ship-looking thing?"

  "That's it, Mas'r Davy," returned Ham.

  If it had been Aladdin's palace, roc's egg and all, I suppose I couldnot have been more charmed with the idea of living in it. There was adelightful door cut in the side, and it was roofed in, and there werelittle windows in it; but the charm of it was that it was a _real boat_which had no doubt been upon the water hundreds of times, and which hadnever been intended to be lived in on dry land.

  It was beautifully clean inside, and as tidy as possible. There was atable, and a Dutch clock, and a chest of drawers, and a tea-tray with apainting on it. The tray was kept from tumbling down by a Bible; andthe tray, if it had tumbled down, would have smashed a quantity of cupsand saucers and a tea-pot around the book. On the walls there were somecolored pictures, framed and glazed, of scripture subjects. There weresome hooks in the beams of the ceiling whose use I did not know; andsome lockers and boxes scattered around, which served for seats.

  One thing I particularly noticed in this delightful house was the smellof fish, which was so searching that when I took out mypocket-handkerchief to wipe my nose, I found it smelt exactly as if ithad wrapped up a lobster. On my whispering this to Peggotty, sheinformed me that her brother dealt in lobsters, crabs, and crawfish; andI afterwards found that a heap of these creatures, in a state ofwonderful confusion with one another, and never leaving off pinchingwhatever they laid hold of, were usually to be found in a little woodenlean-to where the pots and kettles were kept.

  We were welcomed by a very civil woman in a white apron, whom I had seencourtesying at the door when I was on Ham's back, about a quarter of amile off; likewise by a most beautiful little girl with a necklace ofblue beads, who wouldn't let me kiss her when I offered to, but ran awayand hid herself.

  By and by, when we had dined in a sumptuous manner off boiled fish,melted butter, and potatoes, with a chop for me, a hairy man with a verygood-natured face came home. As he called Peggotty "Lass," and gave hera hearty smack on the cheek, I had no doubt that he was her brother; andso he turned out--being presently introduced to me as Mr. Peggotty, themaster of the house.

  "Glad to see you, sir," said Mr. Peggotty. "You'll find us rough, sir,but you'll find us ready."

  I thanked him and replied that I was sure I should be happy in such adelightful place.

  The civil woman with the white apron was Mrs. Gummidge, an old widowedlady who kept the boat-house in fine order. The little girl was Emily,a niece of Mr. Peggotty's. She had never seen her father, just as I hadnever seen mine--which was our first bond of sympathy. She had lost hermother, too; and as we played together happily in the sand, I told herall about my mother and how we had only each other and I was going togrow up right away to take care of her.

  Of course I was quite in love with little Emily. I am sure I loved herquite as truly as one could possibly love. And I made her confess thatshe loved me. So when the golden days flew by and the time of partingdrew near, our agony of mind was intense. The farewells were verytearful; and if ever in my life I had a void in my heart, I had one thatday.

  I am ashamed to confess that the delightful fortnight by the sea haddriven out all thoughts of home. But no sooner were we on the returnjourney, than the home longing came crowding in upon me tenfold. I grewso excited to see my mother, that it seemed as if I couldn't wait forthat blundering old cart. But Peggotty, instead of sharing in thesetransports, tried to check them, though very kindly, and looked confusedand out of sorts.

  The Rookery would come, however, in spite of her, when the carrier'shorse pleased--and did. How well I recollect it, on a cold, grayafternoon, with a dull sky threatening rain!

  The door opened, and I sprang in, half laughing and half crying as Ilooked for my mother. It was not she who met me, but a strange servant.

  "Why, Peggotty!" I said, ruefully, "isn't she come home?"

  "Yes, yes, Master Davy," said Peggotty. "She's come home. Wait a bit,Master Davy, and I'll--I'll tell you something."

  "Peggotty!" said I, quite frightened. "What's the matter?"

  "Nothing's the matter, bless you, Master Davy dear!" she answered, withan air of cheerfulness.

  "Something's the matter, I'm sure. Where's mamma?"

  "Master Davy," said Peggotty, untying her bonnet with a shaking hand,and speaking in a breathless sort of way; "what do you think? You havegot a Pa!"

  I trembled, and turned white. Something--I don't know what, orhow--connected with my father's grave in the churchyard, and the raisingof the dead, seemed to strike me like an unwholesome wind.

  "A new one," said Peggotty.

  "A new one?" I repeated.

  Peggotty gave a gasp, as if she were swallowing something that was veryhard, and, putting out her hand, said,

  "Come and see him."

  "I don't want to see him."

  "And your mamma," said Peggotty.

  I ceased to draw back, and we went straight to the best parlor, whereshe left me. On one side of the fire, sat my mother; on the other, Mr.Murdstone. My mother dropped her work, and arose hurriedly but timidly,I thought. "Now, Clara, my dear," said Mr. Murdstone, "recollect!control yourself. Davy boy, how do you do?"

  I gave him my hand. Then I went and kissed my mother; she kissed me,patted me gently on the shoulder, and sat down again to her work. Icould not look at her, I could not look at him. I knew quite well thathe was looking at us both; and I turned to the window and looked outthere, at some shrubs that were drooping their heads in the cold.

  As soon as I could, I crept upstairs. My old dear bedroom was changed,and I was to lie a long way off. I rambled downstairs to find anythingthat was like itself, so altered it all seemed; and roamed into theyard. I very soon started back from there, for the empty dog-kennel wasfilled up with a great dog--deep-mouthed and black-haired like Him--andhe was very angry at the sight of me, and sprang out to get at me.