“I can’t even believe I’m admitting this to you, but I was the biggest loser around. Growing up I was the class geek. Girls didn’t come within ten feet of me. When I chose music for a career, I changed my image. I probably went a bit overboard, but I needed to reinvent myself. The tattoos, the girls, the hair, the attitude, it’s always been more for show than reality. So, while there is an image you need to portray, it’s up to you and the marketing team on how you do it.”
“And as far as the playboy goes, I guess you could slot me under the reformed category. You don’t have to worry about me bringing a parade of girls around. I’m over it.” I pushed my hair out of my face out of habit. “But if you could pretend that you didn’t just hear all of that, I’d appreciate it.”
“Um, yeah. Okay.” My current roommate was more than a little uncomfortable with my confession.
“How are things going with your dad?” Solid topic for a change of subject.
“He’s not speaking to me.” Ryan’s expression turned somber. When he quit law school, he knew his father would be angry. He just wasn’t sure how angry. “He cut me off, but what he doesn’t realize is that I don’t need his money anymore. It doesn’t have the impact he intended.”
“No, it wouldn’t.” Ryan started earning money the day he signed the contract, including a hefty signing bonus. He may not have been part of the build or lived through the days when we were dirt poor and playing at any venue willing to put cash in our pockets, but we weren’t expecting him to climb his way up the ranks before letting him land on his feet.
“I’m glad I quit though. Even if he hates me for the rest of my life. It’s not worth doing something I hate. My life would be miserable.”
“Man, you’ve got that right.” Ryan may have been talking about himself, the musician versus the lawyer, but I could relate. I was living with the consequences of my poor choices. Like choosing to play the field instead of locking down the right one. Living life alone was a miserable way to spend your days.
“Why don’t we go down to the bar and get a drink?” I suggested, anxious to get out of the room and away from my feelings.
***
“Hey, man. What brings you by?” My tattoo artist looked up from the desk. “I almost didn’t believe it when I saw your name in the book. It’s been a while.”
“Too long.” I laughed. “This is Ryan. He’s looking to lose his tattoo virginity and I was hoping you could add some ink to my ribs.”
“I’ve got six hours open. What are you looking for?”
“Mine won’t take long. Just some script. You can start with Ryan.”
Ryan’s eyes widened. I’m sure the guy wasn’t thinking he’d be getting his first tattoo, but it was time to do away with his prep boy image, and what better way than inking up his forearm. He’d get used to it.
“I’m not sure. I hadn’t really thought about it.” Ryan responded, looking down at the bare skin of his right arm. “Can you do something with a compass and music or something like that?”
“Color or black and white?”
“Black and white.” Ryan swallowed hard.
“Give me thirty minutes and I’ll draw something up.”
“Perfect. We’ll go next door and grab a beer.”
“Just one.” He warned as we walked out.
I ordered us each a bottle of beer at the dive bar next door and plunked down on the sticky stools. “You sure you’re good with this?”
“Yes.” Ryan sounded unsure, but he wouldn’t back out. “What are you getting on your ribs?”
“Hooked.” It might sound stupid, but for whatever reason, it was imprinted in my mind. I wasn’t leaving without the words on my body.
“Why?”
“Because that’s what I am. Hooked on music. Hooked on life.” And the words I wouldn’t say out loud, Hooked on Maggie.
Chapter 19
Floating
Maggie
“I’m not taking no for an answer.” Ally argued on the other end of the phone. Why had I even bothered to answer her call? She’d been after me all week. Why I’d expected anything different this time around was beyond me. “We’ve already bought your plane ticket. You have to come. Sarah and I need you. These events are always so awkward when we’re tagging along with the guys. Please Maggie.”
Ally was pulling out all the stops, guilting me into a yes. Hazed was hosting a coming-out party for Ryan. His official launch to their fans and the media. Ten months ago, I would have been a ‘hell yes’, but Justin would be there. It didn’t feel right to crash his party. I didn’t belong.
“Sarah even convinced Olivia to come. You’ll be the worse best friend ever if you aren’t there.” The girl could lay it on thick.
“Al, you of all people know why I don’t want to go.” There was no need to say more.
“Don’t you dare hide behind Justin. You can’t turn this down because you’re afraid to see him. I’ll never see you if that’s the case. You’ll miss my baby shower, and the gender reveal. Oh my God, what if you never meet this baby!” In five seconds flat, Ally had managed to make a goddamn volcano out of a molehill.
“Don’t be ridiculous. I’ll be there for those things. I just, well, this is a Hazed thing. It’s his territory.” I was fairly certain Justin knew that thing between Myles and I had gone south, and he hadn’t reached out. Part of me hoped he would, but nope, radio silence.
“Meh, he won’t care. And if he does, that’s his problem. It’s been long enough.”
“Ally…”
“So, now that that’s settled, your plane leaves tomorrow at ten am. See, I was nice and booked you a later flight. Not too early, but early enough that we’ll all be able to get ready together.”
“What if I don’t board the plane?” She knew me well enough to see through my empty threat.
“I’ll see you tomorrow. I’d pick you up from the airport, but Tim stresses every time I leave the house with this whole baby bump. I wonder how many pregnancies it’ll take until he realizes I’m not breakable.” She huffed. “I’ll send Tim’s driver though. Can’t wait to see you.” Without giving me a chance to respond, Ally ended the call.
I arrived at Ally’s under duress, with a suitcase packed with make-up, shoes, and outfit choices. The girls hadn’t given me time to shop for an outfit worthy of a public event, but I’d make it work. The attention wouldn’t be focused on me anyway. I only had to blend in.
“Oh, good. You’re finally here.” Ally swung open the door. “Justin, can you grab Maggie’s bag and take it upstairs?” She looked over her shoulder, catching Justin midstride.
“Maggie?” Justin questioned, his eyes widening. I glared at Ally. She omitted the fact that Justin was staying in the house and based on the shrug of her shoulders, she’d done it intentionally.
Justin kept his eyes on my luggage, ignoring me completely. I couldn’t blame him.
“Same room as usual?” He directed his question to Ally, who nodded in response. Once he was up the stairs and out of earshot, I hissed at Ally.
“How could you ask me to stay here when you knew he would be here?”
“It’s not a big deal. He’ll be in the basement and you’ll be upstairs. You probably won’t even see each other, so stop freaking out.”
Stop freaking out? Was she serious? Seeing Justin, being this close to him again was pure torture. While I wanted to talk to him. I wanted the past ten months to disappear. I’d been selfish enough when it came to Justin. He deserved better.
“Your stuff is in your room. I’m heading downstairs if you need anything, Ally.” Justin didn’t look in our direction as he spoke. He was avoiding me. Maybe it wouldn’t be hard to dodge Justin after all. Thankfully, my return flight was scheduled for the next day in the early afternoon. Less than twenty-four hours and we’d have distance between us again.
“How long until I need to be ready?” I questioned.
“Oh, I hired make-up artists and hairstylists. They’ll be here in about half a
n hour.” I raised my eyebrows. Ally usually managed her own look. “I thought it would be fun for us to have some girl time. Olivia and Sarah should be up here soon. We’re going to have such an amazing time.”
Amazing was the last word I would use to describe what I was expecting. Sure, being pampered would feel incredible, but knowing Justin was just a floor away, would keep me on edge the entire time.
“Do you mind if I grab a shower? I’d like to feel human again before we get started.” Not to mention I could use a few minutes to decompress and deal with the overwhelming onslaught of nerves and emotions.
“Of course. Just make sure you’re back down here in 30 minutes.” Ally wrapped me in a hug, before letting me go upstairs.
My suitcase was waiting for me, on my bed, ready to be opened. Most people would have set the bag on the floor, but not Justin. He knew my routine and that fact hit me hard. I shook off the emotion and unzipped the suitcase, pulling out a pair of fresh leggings and a tank top.
My shower was long and drawn out, soothing my soul with hot water. I knew seeing Justin would throw me off, I just didn’t anticipate how much. I wanted to talk to him, to tell him that I missed him. But if the way he reacted when I walked through the door was any indication of his mindset, the time to act had passed. He gave me a chance at Sarah and Ian’s wedding, and I didn’t take it.
By the time I finished my shower and got dressed, I was ten minutes late. Ally, Sarah, and Olivia were already sitting in chairs, Ally and Sarah were having their hair done, while Olivia was seated in front of a woman with a make-up pallet. Leave it to me to fail at something as simple as being on time.
“Hey, Maggie!” Sarah greeted as I walked toward them. Olivia offered a small wave, while Ally was unimpressed. She’d gone through all this trouble to make the day great and I was ruining it by letting my head get in the way.
“Sorry, I’m late. I didn’t realize I’d taken too long.” More like I wasn’t paying attention, but there wasn’t anything I could do about it.
“You’re with me.” A pretty woman, with bright purple hair, commented. “Have a seat.”
I had to admit, Ally was a genius. Not only did I look amazing with my hair swept to the side in a loose Dutch braid and a flawless face, but the girl talk kept my mind off Justin.
Despite being the last one for hair and make-up, I was the first one downstairs to leave. The boys were dressed and waiting in the living room. It was different walking into a room with four men instead of three. I’d yet to meet Ryan in person and at the moment when I should have been introducing myself, I was gawking at Justin.
“Have you met Ryan yet?” Ian asked, pulling my attention away from Justin.
“No. I haven’t.”
“You must be Megan.” Ryan took a step toward me with his hand extended.
“Maggie.” Justin corrected before I could get the words out. My eyes darted in his direction, to find him staring at his feet.
“Oh, sorry. Maggie.” Ryan smiled his gorgeous smile, showing off a straight row of bright white teeth.
“It’s nice to finally meet you.” Justin’s eyes locked onto where Ryan and I’s hands were connected. I felt exposed as his gaze traveled from our hands to my face. Justin’s mouth tightened in a pained line when our eyes connected.
“You boys ready to go?” Ally broke the connection as the other three girls came barreling into the room. I stayed close to the girls as we climbed into the stretch limo. During the drive, I looked at Justin at least a dozen times, and not once did he look my way.
When we arrived at the venue, the guys were pulled away, leaving the four of us girls to our own devices. Olivia and I were taking advantage of the open bar, while the pregnant duo, were busy devouring the appetizers circling the room. The place was packed, as expected, with a combination of media and fans filling the space.
Four drinks into the evening and my world was becoming hazy. I should be having the amazing time Ally promised, but everything just seemed blah. Tim and Ian had stopped by our group a few times, checking in on their wives, but Justin and Ryan were MIA. No doubt busy picking up their women for the night. The thought made me nauseous and before long, the combination of drinks and self-pity had me running for the bathroom.
After my stomach contents had been emptied into the toilet, I touched up my make-up, rinsed my mouth with water, and made my way back to my friends. It was time to get a grip on reality. The whole ‘woe is me’, wasn’t who I was or the person I wanted to be. I was better than that.
I was only a few feet away from my friends when a familiar face pulled my attention. Figures that the instant I decide to pull myself together, the only person on this planet that could completely shatter me shows her face. Nightmares were the only place my mother was welcome in my life and even that was too much. She definitely wasn’t supposed to be standing in front of me, alongside the very stepfather I fucked in her kitchen forever ago. Hell, he must have something special if she held onto him all these years. Especially, after what he’d done with me. Although, that could be the reason he’s still around. She had her own point to prove. Regardless, the last thing I wanted in my life was to be face-to-face with the bitch again.
“What are you doing here?” I sneered; every ounce of the hate I had for her poured into my words.
“Is that any way to greet your mother, Magdalen? I raised you better than that.” My mother’s face remained stoic, unaffected by my anger. “Why don’t you introduce us to your friends?” She motioned toward Ally, Sarah, and Olivia.
Ah…and there was my answer. She’d done her research if she knew Ally and Sarah. It wasn’t a coincidence she was at a Hazed event. My world-class mother had tracked me down, not to make sure I was still breathing, but to sink her nails deep into the celebrities in my life.
“No way in hell am I introducing the scum of the earth to anyone.” I stomped my foot in protest, my fists clenched at my sides. “You’re wasting your time if you’re here to climb some sort of social ladder. I can’t help you with that.”
“Oh, my dear Magdalen. I know that. A girl like you just doesn’t have what it takes to…” My mother’s disapproving rant was interrupted by a deep, familiar voice.
“If I were you, I wouldn’t finish that sentence.” Justin stood tall and broad; his tattoos more intimidating as he crossed his arms.
“Hmph.” My mother ran her eyes up and down Justin. He cringed in disgust. “Well, I guess if she somehow managed to interest one of you, it would be the bottom of the barrel.”
“Mom!” I exclaimed, furious that she was insulting Justin. It was one thing to put me down, it was another to talk to a complete stranger that way. One who didn’t deserve her judgment. “Ca… Ca… Can… Can you j..j..just sh…sh…sh…shut...” I couldn’t get the words out. My stutter taking over once again.
“Oh, Maggie. After all these years, and you’re still stuttering like an idiot. All that money spent and look what good it’s done.” I wrapped my arms around myself, feeling my emotional walls crumbling. The woman had the power to destroy me in minutes. Justin stepped in front of me, blocking her from my view.
“Are you sure you came out of this woman?” Justin swiveled his head to look at me. “I’m just going to assume you were adopted. There’s no way she had anything to do with you.”
“I wish she was. I risked my body for one child, and she wasn’t even worth it.” The entire time my mother threw insults, Trent stood silently at her side, ignoring her behavior.
“You’re a piece of work.” Justin suddenly realized that my mother wasn’t alone. “Who the fuck are you?”
“He’s my husband.” My mother gloated. It was obvious that she was married to a younger man. Knowing my mother, it was her claim to fame. “I’m sure Magdalen has told you all about him and her pathetic attempt to seduce him. I hope for your sake, she’s better under the sheets now than she was back then.”
She didn’t. She wouldn’t. My empty stomach rolled. The muscles
in Justin’s back tensed. He understood my mother’s implication. Everyone around us was watching the scene unravel. No way would my friends ever look at me the same after this. If I still had friends by the end of the night.
“You took advantage of your stepdaughter?” Justin’s voice raised, his finger pointed directly in Trent’s face.
“It was…” Trent began to counter.
“I don’t care what it was. I mean, I get it. If I was married to this wench, I wouldn’t be putting my dick near her either, but it doesn’t make you any less of a perverted asshole.” Justin rolled up his sleeves, preparing to take a swing.
Knowing how close Justin was to fighting my battle, I found my voice. “J, they aren’t worth it.”
“No, I agree. They aren’t. But you are.”
Three security guards closed in on us, their timing impeccable. They looked to Justin for direction. In less than a minute my mother and her loser husband were being escorted from the building, while I stood behind Justin in a state of shock. Whatever fragile emotional walls I had left, were on the verge of collapsing. Without a word, Justin sensed just how close I was to breaking and took me away from the party.
One lone security guard was following behind as Justin led us through the parting crowd and outside to the limo. Before I had time to process what was happening, Justin was giving instructions to the driver.
“I don’t want to go back.” My voice was barely above a whisper.
“We aren’t going back.” Justin reached his arm over my shoulder and pulled me into his chest.
“I don’t think I can face everyone right now.”
“You don’t have to.” I gripped at Justin’s shirt, as he rubbed my arm. “I’ve asked the driver to take us to a hotel. We don’t have to stay there. I just thought you might want the space right now, instead of going back to the house.”
He couldn’t have been more right. I nodded against his chest, unable to verbalize just how grateful I was. The drive to the hotel was quiet. Justin discovered more about me in five minutes than I’d shared with anyone, ever. Hell, the whole world knew my business thanks to my mother’s show.
Hooked Page 18
