Her Hidden Scars (Loving Her Scars Series Book 2)

by B M Griffin

CHAPTER SEVEN

  Jared

  Jared paced the living room, while Adam watched him from the doorway. Shayla had promised she wouldn’t do anything until he had the chance to talk to Megan, to try to convince her to change her mind. He loved his pack, and he was good with who he was, werewolf included, but it had taken him a long time to come to terms with what he’d become.

  There were things he went through his first couple of years after his transition, that Adam and Shayla couldn’t relate to because they’ve been accepted into the pack immediately. Shayla had gone through her first transition in the very house that belonged to their pack. He knew that Megan wouldn’t be alone like he’d been for his transition, or any time after that for as long as he could help it, but that didn’t change the fact that she’d be a werewolf. Not everyone found it so easy to control their wolf, and the urges and anger that came along with it, and he didn’t ever want Megan to find out what that was like.

  Jared heard footsteps just before Megan, Shayla, and Joanna came into the room. Jared started heading toward Megan quickly, but she held up her hand and he stopped a couple of feet away from her.

  “I want to hear you out,” she said, “because I care about you and your thoughts and feelings about what I’ve asked Shayla for, are important to me.”

  Jared took another step toward her. “Thank you. I just … “

  Megan stopped him again. “I do care about your side of this, Jared, but I don’t want you to think this means I’m open to letting you change my mind. I’m going to listen to you, and then you’ve got to listen to me and try to keep an open mind about why I need to do this.”

  Jared didn’t let her stop him this time. He closed the distance between them and pulled her into his arms. A calmness settled over him when she returned his embrace, and he pressed his lips to the top of her head. The others quietly backed out of the room, giving the two of them some privacy, and Jared dropped his arms to take Megan’s hand, then he walked them over to the couch and they both sat down.

  “Let’s talk,” he said.

  “You go first,” Megan said.

  He took her hand in his and ran his thumb slowly back and forth over the top of her hand while he spoke. “Shayla is the only person you’ve known when they went through their transformation, and her change was not the norm for most people turned. She had the pack and Adam by her side the whole time, and she never had to go through a forced change on her own, but it does happen. If they really want to come out, our wolves can force us to shift so they can come to the surface, and when that happens, you don’t have control over your wolf. Sometimes, you wake up a day or two later and you know you’ve done something terrible, but you can’t remember anything other than a few flashes of people screaming, and you can still taste of copper of their blood on your tongue.”

  Megan’s eyes were wide and her hands had begun to shake ever so lightly. “That happened to you?” she asked.

  Jared nodded without letting his eyes leave Megan’s. He wanted her to absorb everything he was telling her. To understand the gravity of the life she was asking for by becoming a werewolf.

  “It’s not just added strength and the ability to change into a large wolf,” he told her, “it is life-altering in every way. Your temperament can change; it can affect your ability to control yourself when you are angry or upset, and you can never get away from what you are. For some, learning to control all your new instincts and need to attack, or even kill, can be difficult and take a long time to overcome. I’m not telling you these things because I want to hurt you, or because I don’t want you to be a part of my pack. I just want to make sure you know that there are bad sides to being what I am. Please believe me when I say, that learning to live with the knowledge you lost control and killed someone who was completely innocent, is something you never really get over.”

  Megan leaned in closer to him and put her free hand on their joined ones. Her eyes were shimmering with unshed tears, and knowing his words had put them there tore at his heart, but he couldn’t bring himself to take anything he’d said back. Everything he’d said had been true, hell, he could have shared a lot worse with her if he wanted to get into the details of his first two years after his transition, but he didn’t think he needed to go that far. Okay, maybe it was more about the fact that he didn’t want her to look at him like he was a monster, even if that is what he’d been at times all those years ago.

  “I don’t want you to feel like I am dismissing how you feel about this,” Megan said, after a moment, “or that I take anything you just said to me lightly. I can feel your sincerity, and I know that you’re just trying to prevent me from going through the things that made becoming a werewolf difficult for you, but I know that I won’t be alone. I will have you, Shayla, and Adam. And I’m sure they aren’t all. I’ve gotten to know several members of the pack and they are good people. There’s not a doubt in my mind any one of them would have my back if I need it, so I know that with so many people around to guide me and who care about what happens to me, that I will be okay. But I won’t be okay if I can’t defend myself, and we both know as long as I’m human, Kevin’s people will use me to get to you and the pack.”

  “We can protect you,” Jared said, matter-of-factly.

  Megan shook her head. “I don’t want that, Jared. It’s one thing if we are fighting side by side, protecting each other, but I cannot allow you, or anyone else, to put my safety ahead of your own. I’ve done that too many times in my past and it never ends well.”

  “I can protect you, Megan. I want to.”

  Megan sighed, then she sat up a little straighter, like she was preparing herself for something. “When I was young, my dad was an alcoholic. Whenever he got drunk, he liked to take his fists to my mom. The first time he came after me, my mom forced herself between us to protect me. He kicked her in her side, until he snapped two of her ribs. After that, she would hide me away locked in the attic whenever we heard his truck pulling into the driveway. One night, he kept demanding she tell him where I was, but she wouldn’t do it, because she was determined to protect me. I could hear them fighting, hear my mom crying and begging him to stop, and suddenly her cries just stopped. A few minutes later, I heard the front door and then I heard his truck as he left. I waited, but my mom never came for me, so I climbed down from the attic myself. I found my mom in a pool of her own blood on the living room floor. He’d smashed her head in with an owl statue off the mantel. She was killed trying to protect me from him.”

  Jared felt so many emotions hearing her story, but the one at the top of the list was fury. He ground his teeth together, wishing that he’d been there. He wondered if her dad was still alive, because he’d love to return the favor and teach the asshole a lesson in his own game. “I’m so sorry that happened to you, Megan. You never should have gone through that, but it’s not your fault.”

  “I know it isn’t my fault, but she still died to protect me, and she’s not the only one. Afterward, I was sent to live with my grandma. I was fifteen when she was diagnosed with leukemia, and the doctors said her best chance was a bone marrow transplant. As her last living blood relative, they wanted to check me first because I was her best chance for a match. Since I was a minor, my grandma would have to sign for me to have the procedure. She refused, concerned how the side effects would affect me. They never found a match, and I had to sit idly by and watch cancer steal my grandmother’s life. I could have helped her, but yet again, someone I love chose protecting me over their own well-being.”

  Jared squeezed his eyes shut. Hearing the pain in her voice when she spoke about her mother and grandmother was enough to make his own heartache, to make him wish he could erase her past, and offer her nothing but a happy future. There was something else in her voice, too. He could feel her anger and resentment as if it were a tangible thing, as solid as the couch the two of them sat upon.

  She loved her mother and grandmother, that much was obvious, but she was clearly still angry wit
h the two of them for not allowing her a chance to help save them, even after all the years that had passed. Never mind the fact that she’d been a child, and it wasn’t her responsibility to save anyone. There was one more thing that was very clear to him in that moment—Megan was never going to be convinced to stay human and just allow him to keep her safe, and as much as it killed him for her to be forced into becoming a werewolf, he couldn’t deny that it would give her an advantage if someone ever caught her alone again like Demetri Falin had at her office.

  He squeezed her hand, then brought it up to his mouth and kissed her knuckles. “I think I get why being able to fight for yourself and the people you care about, is so important to you now. If you’re sure you want to do this, then I want to be the one to change you. My bite might not be as powerful as Shayla’s, but I’m strong enough that your wolf shouldn’t have any issues helping you kick some ass in a fight.”

  He smiled, hoping it would relieve some of the stress clearly written all over her face. Megan just stared at him for a few minutes, her eyes examining his face like she was waiting for him to crack and change his mind. When he didn’t, she finally smiled back and a small chuckle escaped her throat. “So, you think you can make me a bad-ass werewolf, huh?”

  Jared arched an eyebrow at her. “Oh, I know that no matter who changes you, you’re going to be a bad-ass werewolf.” He pulled her into his chest and gave her a tight hug. “Just so we’re clear, it doesn’t matter if you wake up with powers that make what Shayla can do when she turns into solid flames look like child’s play, I am always going to fight to keep you safe. It’s not even a conscious decision for me at this point. My wolf thinks you are his, and he’s never going to stand by and not go for the throat of anyone trying to hurt you.”

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  Megan

  There it was. The connection Shayla had been trying to explain to her when she said that he couldn’t resist the need to protect her. It was hard for her to understand, the idea that his wolf was a part of him. But was also an extra soul inside of him, which influenced his feelings and actions in a very real way. Maybe it would be easier to wrap her head around it once she was a werewolf too, but for now, she at least understood that he cared about her and wanted to make sure she was safe.

  After a moment of letting Jared’s words sink in, Megan leaned over and placed a soft, lingering kiss on his lips. When she pulled back, she cupped his face and smiled at him.

  “I would love for you to be the one to change me. And I’ll try not to give you too much shit for still trying to keep me safe, but the same goes for you, because I’ll hurt anyone who goes after you.” She saw Jared flinch, and knew that he didn’t like the idea of her trying to fight anyone to protect him. She almost laughed thinking about the irony of the situation; both of them determined to protect the other while not wanting to be protected themselves.

  “You’re going to drive me crazy, aren’t you?” Jared asked, with a smirk.

  Megan shrugged, “You should just let me have my way, then life will be easier for the both of us.”

  Jared laughed. “Yeah, I don’t know if I’m ready to agree to all of that, but I would like to take you out for dinner. Have a nice night with just the two of us, like I’d planned when I showed up at your house earlier today.”

  “And you’ll change me after dinner?”

  Jared’s eyebrows drew together. “We don’t have to be in a hurry, Megs.”

  “Yes, we do. Kevin’s people aren’t playing around, and the next time that sleazeball Demetri tries to ambush me at work, I don’t want to be afraid. I need to do this Jared, and I need it to happen tonight.”

  He stared at her for a moment, before a sigh escaped and he nodded slightly. “You’re right. I don’t want you to ever be in that situation and unable to defend yourself if you need to again. Just thinking about what could have happened, makes me want to hunt him to the ends of the world.”

  “Thank you,” Megan kissed his cheek. “So, dinner then?”

  “Yes, but I do need to meet with the pack leaders first. Everyone needs to be updated about your visit from Demetri, and his claim that Kevin is still alive and running the shots. Everyone’s going to need to be extra vigilant until we get to the bottom of this, and I want them to keep a closer eye on the members who joined us after we thought Shayla and Adam had killed Kevin.”

  Jared stood up and held his hand out to Megan, then he pulled her to her feet and gave her a quick kiss. When he lifted his mouth from hers, she smiled and was sure that her cheeks had turned red because of the heat she could feel rising in her face.

  Megan pointed toward the walkway out of the living room. “I’ll just go find something to do while you talk to the pack,” she said.

  Jared shook his head, then took her hand and laced their fingers together. “No, I want you with me. This affects you as much, if not more, than the rest of us since they’ve chosen to come after you to get the pack’s attention. Besides, you’re going to be an official member after tonight, so you should definitely be there for this.” Jared gave her hand a slight squeeze, then they both headed to the meeting room.

  It always amazed Megan the way the pack would just show up, as if their meetings had been planned ahead of time. As if they’d saved a little calendar reminder for exactly what time they would need to gather in the meeting room. Shayla and Adam had mentioned something to her about the pack’s ability to speak telepathically after she’d caught them seemingly sharing some silent jokes. This was something she figured was hard to completely understand, unless you were able to experience hearing someone else’s voice in her mind. Becoming a werewolf was mostly about being able to protect herself, since she considered herself a permanent fixture in the pack’s world anyway, but she couldn’t deny the excitement she felt knowing that she would be a part of something magical as well.

  Once everyone had taken a seat, Jared jumped right in telling them about Demetri’s visit to Megan’s office, and the threat he’d made on Kevin’s behalf. The moment he mentioned that Demetri had said Kevin was alive, the room erupted in chaos. Everyone talking over each other, debating the possibility that Demetri was lying to get a rise out of Jared and the pack.

  “Demetri Falin is a snake and a liar!” Zack insisted.

  Lou stood up and nodded in Zack’s direction. “He’s right. We were all there when Shayla and Adam killed him. The only thing he is capable of these days, is rotting in hell.”

  “I don’t think we can be so sure of that,” Kelly interrupted. “I mean, did you see what that S.O.B. had done to himself? He looked like something straight out of Hell’s mouth that day. Now, I don’t know about y’all, but I’ve never seen a werewolf like that. I’m not so sure he even is a wolf anymore.”

  “I agree with Kelly,” Joanna added. “He looked like somethin’ straight outta Hell if you ask me.”

  “Kelly and Joanna are right,” Shayla cut in. “Whatever Kevin was when we fought him, the one thing we’ve been sure of since then, is that it was only a matter of time before we heard from him and his followers again. He said he’d sold his soul to gain more power, and I believed him. I still believe that.”

  “Shayla’s right,” Adam agreed. “We all need to be on our toes. I don’t want to lose anyone else to that monster.”

  With everyone talking at once, Jared whistled to get their attention. Everyone went silent and focused on him immediately. Megan was amazed every time she had the privilege of seeing Jared in his official Alpha role. He wasn’t a power-hungry asshole about being the one in charge. He treated his pack members with respect, and they respected him in return.

  “Regardless of how we feel as individuals about the possibility of Kevin’s return to the living, Demetri showing up here is a threat we cannot take lightly. I won’t stand by while he moves into our hometown and threatens Megan.”

  Everyone nodded and made their agreement clear. “It takes a special kind of asshole to threaten a human, just to get at the
pack,” Zack remarked.

  Jared looked at Megan and held his hand out to her. When she placed her hand in his, he turned back toward the table to address the pack leaders again. “I couldn’t agree with you more, Zack, and so I think that makes this the perfect time for me to share with you all that Megan has decided she wants to join our pack.”

  “Well, it’s about time,” Kelly said, in her southern drawl.

  One by one, everyone in the room walked up to Megan and gave her a hug, welcoming her to their pack; their family. She had to blink several times to hold back her tears. Joanna squeezed her tightly and gave her a kiss on her cheek. She leaned back with a big smile and squeezed Megan’s shoulders.

  “Didn’t I tell you?” Joanna said, “You have been one of us since Shayla and Adam walked you through the front door, darlin’. This will just make it official.”

  “Thank you, Joanna,” Megan said, then she looked around the room and let her eyes land on everyone present. “Thank you all. It means a lot that you have all welcomed me into your pack.”

  “Are you kidding me?” Lou said. “Jared would be unbearable if you ever left.”

  Jared narrowed his eyes at Lou and Megan laughed. They really were one big family and she couldn’t wait to join them.

  CHAPTER NINE

  Jared

  Jared was happy his pack was welcoming Megan so graciously, but all he wanted was to spend some time alone with her. “Alright, alright, you will all have plenty of time to spend with Megan, but as of right now, she is mine for the rest of the night.” A few loud whistles sounded through the room and Megan laughed beside him. The fact that she wasn’t embarrassed by their insinuation, was just one of the things he loved about her. She didn’t have a shy bone in her body.

  “That’s enough, Lou and Zack. Now, I want you all to stay on high alert. Rotate watching the perimeter, and I would like to have Adam or Shayla on the rotation.”