Love's Hot

by Karen Deen

  Double-checking we’re still the only ones in here, I sit down on the seat and she follows me.

  “You have to promise not to tell anyone this. Especially Xavier. He’s like the queen of gossip.” I pause for a moment. She looks worried because I’m never this serious. There’s no easy way to do this, I just need to say it quickly.

  “Kane and I are sleeping together. A friends-with-benefits arrangement. No attachment or feelings. Which is why we aren’t telling anyone. Just a bit of fun. Hence the trip to the sex shop. I want to buy something for us for our fun times.” It all comes out fast and without taking a breath. For the first time ever, I can feel my cheeks blushing talking to Alesha.

  “I knew it. I tried to tell Xavier and he said no way, Kane would’ve told him. I can’t believe it. Why the friends-with-benefits thing? You like him more than that. I can tell by the look on your face right now. Besides, this is the first time you’ve kept a guy from me. You’re playing this one close to your chest, aren’t you? You don’t want to lose him, so you agreed to this.”

  I can’t help but giggle. “You read me so well, sis. But the only thing you got wrong is, it was my idea for the arrangement. Kane doesn’t do relationships. The sex the first night was out of this universe. You know I like a good night of hot sex, but with him the connection, it was so much more. I can’t even describe it. He makes me feel things. I wanted another night, and you know me, I’m not looking to be tied down either. What I wasn’t expecting, though, is the emotions he’s brought out in me. Oh Lesh, what have I done?” I lay my head back against the wall and close my eyes. I feel her hand on my leg for comfort.

  “Why don’t we go and grab breakfast somewhere first and chat. Xavier is busy all morning with training clients, so I’m all yours.” I turn and hug her tightly. I didn’t realize how much I needed this. Just to be able to talk about Kane and everything going through my head. Thank god for my big sister.

  ***

  We chat about general things while we order our food and wait for the coffee. I definitely haven’t had enough caffeine yet to get me up and buzzing. Just seeing Kane at the gym has me feeling tingly. The waitress places our coffee orders in front of us. Alesha takes a sip and then she turns to me.

  “Right, start at the beginning, and I can’t believe I’m saying this to you, don’t leave out any details. Within reason, of course.” Not sure she really wants all the details and I, for the first time, don’t want to share everything either.

  I give her the abridged version which has her gasping and gaping at different times. Imagine what she would’ve done had I told her the detailed version.

  “It hit me last night when he called me, that this has already gone past everything we promised each other it wouldn’t. I tried to ask him, but he shut me down and told me to concentrate on what we agreed. It upset me, even though I get it. It’s his form of denial, I just wanted a little bit of acknowledgement from him that he’s feeling similar things. It’s just so confusing. One minute he’s pushing to keep my in the fuck-buddy zone and then this morning calls me his! What the hell am I supposed to think?”

  “Well, I think that shows you exactly what you’re wanting to know. He’s feeling it too. His boundaries that he set up a while ago are now being tested and he isn’t sure how to deal with that. I get it, I was exactly the same with Xavier. I was so scared to let my guard down and I didn’t even have as many issues as Kane. Just be patient with him. Let him get there in his own time. He’s a good guy, and I know from what Xavier says, he deals with a lot of heavy stuff through his job.”

  “I know, he loves his job. I have a feeling, though, that his job will always be what will comes between us. I just need to convince him that he can have both. I’m tougher than he thinks and can cope with his life no matter how he chooses to live it.

  “Besides, I’m not giving up that hot fucking body and the best sex I’ve ever had without a fight.” Alesha just shakes her head at me and we both laugh at each other.

  We take a break when the waitress arrives with our food and places it down. Just talking it all out with Alesha has helped me to calm my mind and see with a bit of clarity what I need to do. I’ll show Kane that he can’t live without me. He thinks he’s seen his Red as a little vixen? Well, he ain’t seen nothing yet.

  “Right, time to get moving. We have some serious shopping to do at the sex shop. Wipe that bashfulness off your face, Lesh. Time to pull our big girl pants up and lose our virginity in the world of sex toys. Are you excited?” We walk out to the car with Alesha trailing behind me.

  “Not exactly,” I hear her mumble.

  “Come on, lighten up. It’s going to be fun. You might even find something you like.”

  “Lilly, I told you to leave me out of this. I’m just here for moral support. That’s all.” She rolls her eyes at me as I start to perk up and fidget in my seat.

  “We’ll see about that.” I shine my innocent little-sister smile at her.

  “What have I gotten myself into?” She just shakes her head at me.

  “I don’t know, but they probably have plenty of things for you to get yourself into.”

  “Lilly, I’m warning you.” She smacks my leg and then lets out a little quiet giggle. I think deep down she’s a little curious, just no way will she admit it. This is going to be fun and take my mind off the worry.

  ***

  I feel like a kid in a candy shop!

  So much to look at, to touch and explore.

  It’s like a department store full of sin. Aisle after aisle. This could take a while.

  Alesha is walking slowly behind me, head down. Making sure she doesn’t make eye contact with anyone.

  I have no idea what some of these weird-looking things are. I want to ask someone for help, but I know Alesha would kill me. Every time I stop to investigate anything, she just looks at me with a stare that says put it down.

  In the background, all we can here are the sounds of sex and moaning from the television screens up on the wall around the edge of the shop, all playing different porno movies. Multiple partners, same sex couples. I nudge Alesha to get her to look up. As soon as she sees the screen with the foursome of three males and a female, she drops her head straight away. I promised I wouldn’t laugh at her but I’m biting my tongue to achieve that.

  Looking towards the back of the shop, there’s a display running the full length of the shop of the big-ticket items.

  “Damn, Lesh, look at that swing thing. Imagine if Xavier turned up with one of those at home for you. Bet you would die.”

  “Do not even joke about it. He would never even think about it.” Alesha frowns.

  “Well, you don’t know, maybe he does think about it, he’s just not game to buy it for you. Or he could get you one of those wood things over there on the wall with the restraints on it. That would look great in his gym. I know, maybe you could convert it into a playroom.” I can’t help myself. She’s getting redder by the second and it’s so funny. Well, for me anyway.

  “Oh my god, Lilly, I warned you. I knew I couldn’t trust you. I’m going over there to look at the lingerie where it’s safe. Let me know when you’re ready to leave. In case you get lost, the handcuff section we are apparently looking for is in the next aisle. See if you can manage to just buy what we came for, minus the swing and whatever the hell that scary thing is. You have fifteen minutes and then I’m leaving without you.” She storms off over to the other side of the shop as I’m calling out to her to check out the vibrators on the way past. I don’t think my sister will ever come shopping with me again. Although, it has given me plenty of suggestions for wedding night presents.

  I don’t know why I haven’t been here before. This is my kind of shop.

  I’m not interested in the hardcore things but there are lots of fun things that take my fancy to come back here one day to purchase for a try. Maybe next trip I’ll come on my own.

  I pick out a pair of handcuffs that are red and black leopard pr
int, lined on the inside with a soft red fur. As much as I like the sound of using Kane’s police-issue metal ones, I’m scared of having marks on my arms and having to explain to my dad and brothers where they came from. I can’t wait to surprise Kane with these tonight. He wanted fun, so I’m going to give him much more than the average fun.

  Heading to the checkout, I manage to pick up a couple of other little treats, some for him and the others are definitely for me. I can’t deny that. I can feel the tingling down below at the thought of trying them out.

  My shy sister is standing just past the counter trying really hard to hide the bag she has in her hand. I’m dying to know what she bought. But I decide I’m just going to let her be and feel excited that she’s trying something new with Xavier. Then again, maybe it’s something for herself, and if it is, then I’m cheering her on.

  She doesn’t say much in the car on the way home or ask to see what I purchased. It’s like she thinks if she doesn’t speak, it’ll avoid any conversation that may embarrass her. I love her so much, she is such a special soul.

  Blocking out thinking of Alesha and her purchase, my mind starts focusing on my night ahead. Wondering how Kane will react when I pull out the cuffs. His favorite color will get him started and then realizing, by letting him use these, that I’m agreeing to submit to his will, this is going to bring out the wolf.

  What he’s wanted all along.

  To control me.

  I wish I could turn up at his place right now, but we have the family lunch, and my mother will hunt me down if I miss it. Sitting in the middle of all my family with Kane there is going to be sheer torture. Now with Alesha knowing, she’ll be giving me sneaky looks and watching us like hawks. Then again, Mom will be all over her obsessing about wedding planning so maybe I’ll get a reprieve.

  Being so close to him and not being able to touch him is going to suck. I’m used to him having his hands all over me all the time we’re together. If I’m smart, though, I can use it to my advantage. I might struggle with the no touching, but just imagine how hard it will be for Kane. Time to look through the wardrobe for the perfect outfit and shoes. If I play my cards right, by the time we get to his place tonight, I won’t even make it past the front door before he has me stripped and moaning.

  Shit, now I’m thinking about him touching me and that’s not going to help me for the next few hours.

  Pull yourself together, lady, and get your sexy back.

  Time to remind Kane what he has right in front of him.

  Hopefully he’ll start to see how good we are together.

  We just fit.

  Perfectly!

  ***

  “Aunty Lilly, Aunty Lilly,” I hear my name being screamed across the yard as I get out of my car. Standing, I brace myself for the twins to hit me at full speed. Lucky Thomas is too small to join the welcoming committee. Otherwise, I think I might be taking cover from the onslaught.

  “Hello, my favorite munchkins. How are you today, been good for Mom and Dad?” I crouch down to give them both a big cuddle at the same time.

  “I’ve been a good girl, but Sammy’s been in trouble.” Sophia, always happy to turn her brother in. Sammy hangs his head down, not wanting to admit he’s been naughty.

  “What have you been up to, little man?” I put my hand on his chin to lift his face so I can see him.

  “I licked the icing off the cake with my finger. It was an accident.” He looks so cheeky looking up at me.

  “Oh dear, who busted you doing it? Was it, Mommy, Daddy or Meme? Because you can totally get away with it if it was Meme or Mommy. Daddy is harder but we’ll work around him.” I tickle his side just to break the moment and get him laughing again. “Now tell me, was the frosting yummy? Because if it was, then I’m going in to use my finger for a taste too. Tell me who’s in charge of the food in this crazy house, so I know who to hide from.”

  We all start to giggle now. I’ve won the kids over in the first five seconds. I never thought about having kids of my own until these two gorgeous faces came into our lives, and then baby Thomas joined them. Now I know that I long to be a mother one day when the time is right. I’m not ready yet, but my heart wants these moments of stolen frosting from a cake, a sister who loves to tattle on her brother and a husband who loves and protects us all. Someone who will look at me the way my dad looks at my mom. I see Zach walk past Emily and give her that secret touch as he places his hand on her lower back just checking everything is still right in her world. That’s what I want in a man.

  As if the universe is listening, Kane steps out of the shed I’ve parked my car in front of. With Thomas on his shoulders giggling, followed by Zach and Luke. They all stop to say hello, but I only see him.

  The man I want.

  The one who makes my insides go crazy with butterflies.

  20

  Kane

  DRIVING OUT TO ZACH and Emily’s place with Xavier, Alesha and Jordan are good to distract me from the thoughts in my head that are going crazy. I’ve had a call from my Sarge this morning to fill me in on what’s happening in the case and what will go down Monday. There is no way I can continue seeing Lilly. I’ll put her in danger, and that’s the last thing I want to do.

  It happens quite often. We’ll have one case that we’re struggling to solve, and then one thing will link to another case. Before we know it, we’re building the jigsaw puzzle with all the pieces, and it’s not long before we’re just missing a couple of vital ones that make the whole picture. This case is becoming like that. Not only is there the missing woman, illegal sex clubs and now drug supplies. They usually go hand in hand, drugs and prostitution, which is sad because a lot of the girls get addicted and then need to feed their habit so they become trapped in the prostitution ring.

  It's not like I have a problem with the high-class sex clubs that are run professionally. Everything being totally consensual, everyone agreeing in what they want to do while there. Everyone has their own thing in life and as long as no one is getting hurt, they aren’t harming anyone by partaking in their version of fun. It’s not for everyone and the people there are all in that lifestyle together. They may not be legal in all states, but they’re the least of my problems in breaking the law. I do, however, have a huge issue with these sorts of sex clubs that we’re investigating.

  From what we’re hearing, there’s more than consensual sex going on there. Women being forced into multiple partners and being tortured. An avenue for drug selling, taking and forced prostitution of girls. There’s also a concern that we may stumble on more than we bargain for with the girls that are disappearing. Human trafficking is unfortunately still happening. It makes me feel sick to the core and totally disgusts me. How someone can treat another human this way is hard to comprehend. I’m not looking forward to this undercover assignment.

  “Isn’t that right, Kane?” Xavier’s voice snaps me back to attention, and I realize I’ve missed what they were talking about.

  “Sorry, what?” I can’t even guess so no point denying I wasn’t listening.

  “One more time for the dummies, I said to Jordan I hope he’s hungry because Sophia will have enough food out here to feed his whole NFL team and still have leftovers. Her food is to die for!”

  Alesha mumbles under her breath, “Suck up.”

  “Yeah, man, he has it spot on. This woman will have you packed full before you even blink. Then she’ll be trying to send you home with leftovers. Her family are lucky people.”

  “You say that now,” Alesha groans. “You wait until we get there, and she’s going crazy about feeding you all, acting the Bridezilla mother that we’ve been seeing lately, then switch personalities to the patient loving grandmother with the kids. Then tell me how wonderful she is.” Alesha’s shoulders sag. I thought this wedding organizing thing was supposed to be fun for the girls, but watching Alesha, I’m not sure she’s really enjoying it like she should be.

  “It’s okay, baby, we’ll all be there toda
y, safety in numbers. Plus, your dad will control your mom. He won’t let her get out of control. Just relax and enjoy having everyone together. It’s not often we have all our closest friends and family together, and I have a feeling it won’t happen again until the wedding, so just concentrate on enjoying it.” Xavier looks at me in the rearview mirror knowing that I will be disappearing shortly. I know he worries about me.

  When we arrive, I notice that Lilly’s car isn’t here yet. I chuckle to myself. It would be a minor miracle for her to be the first one here. Not her style being early, plus I’m sure she likes to make the grand entrance. After we meet everyone else and have our first bottle of beer placed in our hands by Mitch, we head out to get a tour of the farm and just finish in the shed when I hear a car pull up outside. The twins were with us but shot out the door at the sound of someone new arriving for them to get some attention from. I have Thomas and I’m busy picking him up and putting him up on my shoulders. This little boy is so cute. I’m not normally into little kids, but he’s taken a shine to me and his smile and little laugh have sucked me in. It’s like he doesn’t see anything bad inside me, just me smiling at him. The innocence of a child is awesome.

  I hear her voice before I see her, and my heart is already beating a little harder. This woman has so much power, it’s probably good she has no idea how much. Exiting the shed, our eyes meet and there it is. That feeling where she just captivates me. My siren.