No Cone Unturned (Apple Orchard Cozy Mystery Book 12)

by Chelsea Thomas

“There’s the dead body,” I said.

  “I see that,” said Wayne. He took out his police flashlight and we did a sweep of the perimeter. “Nothing seems amiss. I mean, other than the obvious dead guy. No signs of a struggle.”

  “No signs anything went wrong at all. The front door wasn’t even locked,” I said.

  “I noticed that when it popped right open.”

  Wayne crossed to Todd’s dead body and shined the flashlight on the corpse. Todd was wearing the same stained clothes he had worn the day prior. Wayne knelt and took Todd’s pulse. “You recognize this guy?”

  Moment of truth.

  Was I going to lie or tell Wayne what I knew? Were we going to solve this case together, or were Miss May and I still at odds with the police? I feared anything I told Wayne would make its way to Flanagan and that Flanagan would impede our investigation. So I didn’t feel I had much choice in the matter…

  “He doesn’t look familiar to me.”

  “Me neither,” said Wayne.

  I knelt beside Wayne and patted Todd’s pockets. I felt something in his pants pocket and with a gentle touch I pulled it out. It was a folded up piece of paper. I opened it and scanned the document. “It’s a lease for this unit. Looks like he signed it today.”

  Wayne fished a single key from Todd’s pocket. “This must be the key to the building.”

  A half-empty flask slid out of Todd’s pocket as Wayne removed the key.

  “Maybe he was here to celebrate signing the lease.” I reached out to pick up the flask but Wayne blocked my hand.

  “Hang on,” Wayne said “You shouldn’t be touching any of this stuff. I said we could look around, not smear fingerprints all over the evidence.”

  Wayne put Todd’s items back in Todd’s pockets and stood up. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to snap. Just… this was a bad idea. We shouldn’t be investigating together. I could lose my job.”

  I shoved the lease in my dress pocket and stood beside Wayne. “It’s OK. I get it.”

  Wayne pulled the radio off his belt and spoke into it. “Hey, Chief. We’ve got a dead body at the vacant unit next to Cherry on Top. Better get down here fast.”

  I put my hand on Wayne’s arm. “Are you OK? I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have pressured you to do this. That wasn’t cool.”

  “It’s fine. Is not your fault. But maybe this little extracurricular investigation…is something we don’t need to share with the chief.”

  “Sounds good to me.” I shoved the lease deeper into my pocket and tried to play it cool as Cool Ranch Doritos. Yet another investigation was afoot. And it did not seem the cops were going to cooperate with our efforts to solve it.

  8

  Date Drama

  When I got home from my date that night, Miss May was already in bed. I was feeling wide-awake, probably thanks to an adrenaline surge that came after the discovery of Todd’s dead body. So I took Steve the dog for a long walk around the orchard.

  When I at last climbed into bed I fell asleep in minutes. But I popped up at the crack of dawn, once again feeling wide-awake. My mind raced with thoughts about Todd’s death and the likelihood that it was a murder. Miss May was still sleeping because it was a Saturday. So I headed downstairs and decided to bake my mind into relaxation.

  Apple Cider Donuts are easier than most people think, and there’s nothing quite as satisfying on a cool morning. The trick is to use apple cider concentrate in the recipe. Cider that has been cooked down on the stove is potent and gooey, and it adds a ton of flavor without making the donut mix runny and wet.

  You need a donut pan, which I’ll admit isn’t standard in every home chef’s kitchen. But everything else in the recipe is easy, and the pans are cheap online.

  My apple cider donuts were cake-y, so the batter was basically cake batter. I piped the batter for six donuts into the pan using a Ziploc bag with the corner cut off. Then I baked the donuts for about ten minutes and voila! Done.

  I also had a secret way to test whether or not my donuts were ready. I poked my finger into the top of the donut to see if the dough would bounce back. If it did, it was ready. If not, it needed a couple more minutes.

  Once the donuts were out of the oven, I coated them in a delicious combination of sugar, cinnamon, and apple pie spice in a big aluminum bowl. Well, first I dipped the donuts in butter, and then I coated them in the mixture. The result was a half dozen beautiful, caramel colored donuts with tons of apple flavor.

  Miss May shuffled into the kitchen as I applied the delicious coating to the last donut. “Someone must be feeling nostalgic for fall.”

  “I’m always feeling nostalgic for fall. Even during fall.” I placed a donut on a plate and handed the plate to Miss May, along with a cup of coffee. “Tell me how you think it turned out.”

  Miss May took a bite and smiled. “I think you’re getting better at this than me. I don’t like that.”

  “I could never make better donuts than you, Miss May. No one can.”

  As Miss May finished her first donut and started in on a second, I told her all about what had happened the previous night.

  Miss May’s jaw dropped when I told her about Todd’s dead body. And as I continued to talk about my brief investigation with Wayne, Miss May stood and paced the kitchen.

  I wrapped up the story by telling Miss May that Flanagan had arrived on the scene and detained me for a couple of hours out of spite. At that, Miss May shook her head with vigor. “Flanagan is jealous of you. That’s ridiculous. You were on a date with Wayne, you obviously didn’t kill anyone. But the chief still needed to treat you like a suspect?”

  “I guess she thought she was doing her job.”

  “Don’t give that lady so much credit, Chelsea. There have been so many murders under her watch in this town. She’s not a good Chief of Police. I can’t believe we’ve got another murder to deal with.”

  “So you agree that it was a murder,” I said.

  “The guy was too terrible to die of natural causes in a vacant store.”

  “That’s true,” I said. “Todd was rude and mean. He made enemies of the three of us in the ice cream shop the other day without trying.”

  “But you said there was no sign of forced entry?” Miss May asked. “No sign of a scuffle? Nothing like that?”

  “Nope. I think the guy was there to celebrate after signing his lease. There was the paper, the key, and the flask. That’s it.”

  “It’s possible he was poisoned,” Miss May suggested. “Maybe someone slipped something into his flask.”

  I sat at the kitchen table, dipped the donut in my coffee and took a bite. Miss May was right. I was getting better at making donuts than she was. But that can be our little secret.

  The thing is, I had perfected the apple, cinnamon, and spice mixture. Not too sweet and just enough spiciness to give you all those warm, fuzzy feelings. I took another bite and I felt the stress of Todd’s dead body lifting off my shoulders. For a moment, it all felt like a dream. Then Miss May snapped her fingers in front of my face.

  “Chelsea. I asked you who you think the suspects might be.”

  I turned up my hands. “Sorry. Donut daydream. Life was simpler for those two bites. I’m back to reality.”

  “So what do you think?”

  I put my donut down. “Todd’s kids didn’t seem to like him. And neither did his wife. Maybe they killed him.”

  “That’s possible,” said Miss May. “And it’s strange that they all claimed not to have seen him for the past few days. Either they knew he was missing or maybe they knew he was going to turn up dead later.”

  “Or they really hadn’t seen him,” I said. “Todd was wearing the same clothes we saw him in yesterday.”

  “So strange.” Miss May reached out and grabbed another donut. “How bad is it to eat three donuts when you’re stressed out?”

  “I made six for a reason,” I said. “And they’re small.”

  Miss May took a big bite of donut. “Maybe there was a c
lue somewhere in the lease. Did you see anything helpful in there?”

  “I’m not sure. Todd had just signed the lease that day. And the deal was with some weird sounding real estate company like TV Table LLC or Table Top LLC. Something like that.”

  “Was the document countersigned by the real estate agent? Or the landlord?”

  “There was another signature other than Todd’s. But the handwriting was so bad. It was impossible for me to read the signature from the other party.”

  I took sip of coffee, then I remembered a pretty important detail. “Hold on a sec! I took the lease with me last night! It all happened so fast I forgot.”

  I reached into my dress pocket for the lease — yes, I was wearing the same dress — but it wasn’t there. “I must have left it up on my desk last night. I’ll grab it later.”

  Miss May took a big bite of donut and chewed. Then she sat straight up. “What about Emily?”

  “Emily from Cherry on Top?”

  Miss May nodded. “Todd was horrible to her. Now Todd’s dead. And she was the only other person around when you found the body. I mean, I love her. And her ice cream. But…”

  I swallowed. “We need to talk to Emily.”

  9

  Cookies and Screams

  We called Teeny and told her to meet us at Cherry on Top. At first, she was thrilled. Ice cream always thrilled Teeny. Then we explained…

  We were going to Cherry on Top to question Emily because she was a suspect in a new murder. Teeny had lots of questions about the scene of the crime and the victim and my date with Wayne. She was also annoyed that I didn’t call her when I arrived home the prior night. I tried to explain that it was late and it didn’t make sense to talk about my date or start the investigation in the middle of the night.

  The more I talked, the more Teeny huffed and puffed in annoyance. She didn’t think Emily could be a killer. She was disappointed Wayne and I didn’t share a ‘sensual, magical kiss’ at the scene of the crime. And she wanted to solve the case already, so she could return to worrying about getting votes for best restaurant in Pine Grove.

  I had never been a punctual person. But Teeny showed up everywhere ten minutes early, then looked bothered if you arrived even thirty seconds late. Needless to say, she was waiting outside Cherry on Top when Miss May and I arrived, arms crossed and glowering.

  I climbed out of my pickup with my hands raised in apology. But Teeny spoke before I had the chance. “This is ridiculous. The ice cream shop is closed. What ice cream shop is closed on a Saturday afternoon?”

  I looked over at the vacant storefront next to Cherry on Top. Police caution tape stretched across the entry, marking the area as the scene of the crime. “I bet Emily assumed she wouldn’t be busy since there was a murder next door last night.”

  Miss May sighed. “Our business is never slower than when a dead body shows up at the orchard. It’s not fun.”

  “I agree,” said Teeny. “At this point I’m bored with a body showing up on the orchard. Can’t these killers in Pine Grove get creative? I want to find a dead body on a Ferris wheel or at the bottom of the ocean or propped up like a scarecrow in front of Town Hall.”

  “I think you missed my point,” said Miss May.

  “And we don’t have a Ferris wheel in Pine Grove,” I said. “Or an ocean. But that scarecrow thing…is unsettling. Where did you come up with that?”

  Teeny shrugged. “I don’t know. Things pop into my brain and I say them.”

  Miss May crossed to the front door of the ice cream shop. “Emily left a note. She didn’t say much. Just ‘closed until further notice.’ And the handwriting is so bad I can barely read it.”

  I joined Miss May over by the front door. “That’s odd. Emily handwrites the menu board inside. I’ve always admired how perfect her lettering is. She could have been a graphic designer if she had wanted.”

  I took a closer look at the note. Sure enough, Emily’s scribbles were difficult to read. Teeny joined us over by the door. “Are you two thinking what I’m thinking?”

  “I’m not going to break into the ice cream shop so you can steal a lifetime supply of sprinkles, Teeny,” said Miss May.

  Teeny gave Miss May a playful shove. “That’s a great idea but it’s not what I’m talking about.”

  I looked over at Teeny. “So what are you thinking?”

  “Maybe Emily has gone into hiding after committing the murder.” Teeny looked at us with her big blue eyes like she had just dropped a huge and dramatic information bomb.

  “That’s a decent theory,” said Miss May. “Closing up shop might be normal, under these circumstance, or it might be suspicious. We need more information.”

  “I guess we could try to get inside.” I jiggled the door handle. The door didn’t budge. “But the place is locked up.”

  “We don’t need to do any breaking or entering quite yet.” Miss May took a deep breath and exhaled. “We just need to find Emily and talk to her. She’s a good kid. We need to make sure she’s safe more than anything else. But we also need to find out exactly what happened last night, from her perspective.”

  A few minutes later, we arrived at Emily’s little cottage on Hastings Pond. A few of our prior investigations had taken us out to the pond, and I enjoyed returning to the neighborhood. The area had been developed as a collection of summer cottages for wealthy city people in the 1950’s. The cottages had been redeveloped and winterized in the 80’s for year-round living and since then, lots of young families and single people had taken up residence there.

  Emily’s house was right on the water. There was a big oak tree in the front yard and a perfect white picket fence. The whole scene would have been serene if not for one thing…

  Emily was out in the driveway frantically packing the trunk of her car…

  …like she was about to make a big escape.

  10

  Take it on the Run

  “I’m stressed out and I need a vacation. It’s not a big deal.” Emily shoved a suitcase into her overflowing trunk and made it fit by shouldering it into place. “Arrrghhhh!”

  “Are you OK?” I asked.

  “I lost my phone charger and have no idea where it is so I’m frustrated about that. Alright? No need to give me the third degree!”

  “We just stopped by to say hello and sorry your neighbor got murdered,” said Teeny. “Or, hooray your mean old neighbor got murdered, depending on your point of view I guess.”

  “Stop accusing me!” Emily yelled. “I didn’t do anything wrong.”

  Miss May, Teeny and I exchanged glances.

  “I think you need to take a deep breath or drink five glasses of wine or something,” Teeny said.

  Emily took a big, theatrical breath and then let it out. “There. Happy? Took a breath. You can go now.”

  Emily stormed back toward her house and went inside, leaving the door open behind her. I looked over at Teeny. “Maybe hold off on getting the suspect drunk until we find a way to calm her down.”

  Teeny shrugged. “Drunk people get chatty. They start blabbing with their loose, drunk lips. We want her to blab, don’t we? Or, wait, are we really just here to check up on her? Or she’s a suspect again? I can’t keep it straight.”

  Miss May spoke in a hushed whisper. “Everyone’s a suspect. You know that.”

  “That’s true,” said Teeny. “Trust no one, that’s my motto. In Jenna and Mr. Flowers, there’s this one episode where they suspect the cutest little old lady in town of committing the murder. She wears big hats and she sips tea and, it turns out, she does also murder people. All the time. Yeah. That was a dark episode. I loved it. Couldn’t sleep for two nights. Totally worth it. I’ll rewatch it again soon.”

  Emily exploded back outside and charged toward the car, holding an armful of loose toiletries and cosmetics. She threw the cosmetics through the open passenger window with a sigh.

  “You three are still here,” she said. “Why?”

  “We want to m
ake sure you’re OK,” said Miss May. “You’re new in town, and there was a murder next door to your shop.”

  “It can be a shock to the system.” I took a step toward Emily. “I remember, when the first dead body turned up in Pine Grove —”

  “I’m not involved in this murder. I happen to own the shop next door. Most people around town love me because I make great ice cream and I’m generous with toppings. I thought the three of you were the leaders of my fan club. Lo and behold, you think I’m a killer. So flattering.”

  “We’re not here because we suspect you,” said Miss May. “From what we can tell, you might have had the most contact with Todd out of everyone in town over the past couple days. So you may have some information that can help us. Did he do anything suspicious this past week? Did you notice him arguing with anyone in town?”

  “Oh my goodness! He argued with me and you all saw it! Yes, the guy was a jerk to me. I got upset. You all know that already. So drop the charade and put the cuffs on me or whatever you need to do.”

  “Nobody is going to cuff you, Emily,” said Miss May, “but packing up your car and disappearing is going to make you look guilty.”

  “People are going to think I killed Todd whether I’m here in Pine Grove or off at the spa for a little rest and relaxation. Wouldn’t you choose the spa if you were me? You three aren’t the only ice cream lovers in town who have heard Todd yelling at me in the past couple weeks. He was a nightmare and he wouldn’t leave me alone. I want to go someplace where nobody knows anything about me except my room number and how I like my toast.”

  Teeny leaned forward. “How do you like your toast?”

  “Fancy! Avocado, extra-virgin olive oil, pink Himalayan sea salt. Whole-wheat.”

  “Sounds delicious,” I said.

  “It is,” said Emily.

  “I understand this is stressful.” Miss May used a soft tone. “But you tossed lipstick through an open window. You’re packing like a fugitive.”