Heartless

by Vi Carter

  He stands up straighter, brows furrow, his head dipped. It’s Connor’s signature for when he’s getting ready to lose his temper.

  “I mean, you left them and it broke a part of Finn. Who picked up the pieces then?”

  His fists tighten, his lip curls up. “It was hardly you.”

  I nod. “That is true, but like you said, I don’t directly impact them, but I like to think I steer them all in the right direction. I had Shane watch over them.”

  “Is that all you wanted to say?” Connor’s eyes bounce around the room, his anger and frustration growing around him.

  “Just keep protecting them, Connor. No matter what you think of me.”

  He shakes his head before leaving. The door hits the wall as he storms from my hospital bed. The same nurse comes in and stares wide-eyed at Connor’s receding form.

  “Is everything okay, Mr. O’Reagan.” She’s facing me now.

  “A family squabble,” I say.

  She refills my water and hands it to me. I drink it down whole.

  “Are you in any pain?”

  “No,” I answer quickly. “Can you remove everything, please? I’m ready to leave.”

  She snorts a laugh as if I’m joking, but when she sees I’m not, her face grows serious.

  She starts shaking her head, “Mr. O’Reagan, you could have died.”

  I take the drip out of my arm. “You either unhook me or I will do it myself.” She starts to remove everything as I’ve requested. My stay here had filled its purpose. I had pitted the RA against the Czech successfully, now I just needed them to hurry up and wipe each other out.

  ***

  The house is empty. Stephen is on the gate and he’s the only life around the house. I pull the tape off the door that leads down to the basement. Holic’s body is gone, but the area is still stained in blood. The knives are gone, but otherwise the space looks untouched.

  The bed is unmade and I try to ignore the tightness in my chest. My home wasn’t mine anymore. I’m sweating when I pull out a bag to pack some clothes in. Sitting on the bed, I take the painkillers that the doctor reluctantly gave me on my departure. The longer I sit, the thoughts of getting up grow more distant. My body is screaming for rest, my side aches, but I need to leave here.

  Getting up my body protests, but I stuff clothes for me and Svetlana into the bag.

  CHAPTER TEN

  SVETLANA

  I’m hovering at the door waiting for Liam to arrive.

  “Where is he?” I bite my lip as I fold my arms across my chest. Shane steps out of a room to my left. He looks troubled and my heart squeezes.

  “Is he okay?”

  His head snaps up to me. He wasn’t aware I was standing out here. But sitting in front of a TV trying to pretend that any of this was okay was killing me.

  “Yes. He’s recovering.”

  My body relaxes to hear he’s fine. “Recovering from what?”

  Shane looks away while stuffing his phone in his pocket. “I'd rather not say.” He sounds unsure.

  “Where is Liam?” My throat burns. Has something else happened? My accent is thick and when Shane doesn’t answer me, I’m afraid he didn’t understand, so I repeat myself. “Where is he?”

  “Shane, tell her.” It’s Una, she’s been really nice to me since I arrived, but I don’t know these people. It’s been two days stuck in this place waiting for word on how he is.

  “Una.” Shane’s warning towards Una is half filled with begging.

  She folds her arms across her chest and he sighs heavily.

  “He’s in hospital, but he’s recovering well.” Shane states.

  I feel the room tilt. The idea that anything could hurt Liam seemed unreal. He seemed so untouchable, so the word hospital had me dredging up horrible images.

  Una takes a step towards me. “Are you okay?” Her hand touches my arm and I move away, my focus back on Shane.

  “What happened?”

  He looks at me with confusion. “I thought you were there?”

  The front door opens and my heart leaps into my throat, only to return to its resting place.

  “How did you get a key?” Shane’s snarl has Darragh removing his key from the door with a grin on his face.

  “Relax, Una gave me one.” He pockets the key and winks at Una.

  “Are you going to tell me what happened?” My patience is slipping.

  “Why don’t we all move into the sitting room.”

  The hall was starting to feel cramped and the air thinner than before, but I just wanted to know about Liam. I’m in the door first and the moment Shane steps across the threshold I’m ready to hear.

  “What’s going on?” Darragh asks while throwing himself down on the couch.

  Shane glances at him and his jaw clenches. “Can you sit on the couch correctly?”

  Darragh sits up and crosses his legs while resting his hands on his knee. He looks ridiculous and Una laughs.

  “Tell me now.” My patience snaps and everyone turns to me like I’m mad.

  “He was stabbed.”

  I stumble back and reach for some support, but my hand only touches air.

  “It’s odd that you don’t know this. Since you were there.” Shane takes a step towards me and I blink, wondering what was going on.

  “She was, but she’s in shock and her English is pretty poor so she mixes up her words.” Darragh has moved in front of me as he insults me while saving me.

  “I don’t need her words Darragh. It’s written all over her face that she didn’t know.”

  Darragh flickers me a glance over his shoulder. “Fine her English is better than mine, but seriously just leave her alone.” Darragh returns to the couch, lying out across it like he had the first time. “Or he will kick your ass.” Darragh grins up at Shane.

  “Are you okay?” My attention snaps to Una, who has taken a step towards me. She was just trying to be nice and I wasn’t making this easy.

  “Yes. Thank you.”

  “Where was he stabbed?” I ask Shane, trying to keep some of my emotion in check.

  “You got it bad for him.” Darragh teases me from the couch, but I’m not entertained. I’ve sat here for two days thinking Liam was being questioned. I had remained quiet not asking questions but now to hear he was stabbed, had me wanting to run from here. I needed to see him.

  “In the side. Svetlana, he is fine.”

  I cover my mouth with my hand, still reeling that someone stabbed him.

  Finn, the quietest of all the brothers steps into the room. His eyes meet mine and he gives me a soft nod. The atmosphere in the room changes. Everyone smiles when they see him.

  “You heard from Connor?” Darragh quizzes from the couch.

  Finn seems to pale. “No. Why is he okay?”

  “Jesus. Everyone needs to lighten up. He’s grand.” Darragh sits up straighter and takes a pack of cigarettes from his pocket.

  “Don’t fucking dare light that up in my house.” Shane’s strained and it’s like he’s ready to break at any second.

  “Shane.” Una warns.

  “Yeah, relax. I wasn’t going to spark it up.” Darragh’s grinning as he puts the fag behind his ear.

  “No smoking in my home.” Una reinforces and Shane glances at her.

  Finn sits down across from Darragh.

  “Why is it okay for you to say it?” Shane questions Una.

  She smiles. “Because sweetheart. I ask nicely.” She takes a few steps towards him and places a kiss on his cheek, it’s like water on flames. He relaxes into her kiss.

  “How are you holding up?” I startle at Finn’s voice. Everyone watches me now and I hate it.

  “I want to speak to Liam.” I lay out my demands.

  Darragh grins. “I still can’t believe you have the hots for Liam.”

  My cheeks redden and I focus on Finn. He seems the most reasonable. “He was stabbed.” I add and guilt fills Finn’s eyes.

  “Isn’t it odd how she
didn’t already know that?” Shane’s voice is tight. “You know, since she was there. I hope someone decides to tell me what’s going on.”

  “You need better security. I was able to walk right in.”

  We all turn. Liam fills the doorway and it’s like everything shrinks around him. He’s there, standing in front of me. He’s dressed all in black and right now he looks even more divine than he ever has. I exhale a shaky laugh before I go to him. I don’t care who’s looking as I wrap my arms around his neck. It takes him a moment to react. His strong arms wrap around me and I want to cry into his chest. His heart beats fast and it’s another reminder that he is alive. I lean out so I can see his face. Tilting my head back, I touch his cheek where Holic had cut him. It’s healing already.

  “I missed you.” I search his face, deep black eyes bounce from my lips to my eyes.

  “I missed you too.”

  My face nearly splits in two at his words. I rest my head on his chest again and close my eyes. He was safe. He was here.

  “I don’t think I’ll ever get used to it.” Darragh’s voice brings me back to the room. I had forgotten briefly about everyone else. I know I need to let Liam into the room.

  “Don’t be a dick.” It’s Finn who speaks up, and I know I have to release Liam. Sliding my arms down Liam’s chest, he hisses and it reminds me of what Shane said about him being stabbed. When I had seen him standing in the doorway, he looked perfect. I was hoping that Shane had been wrong.

  “What’s wrong?” I step away, not wanting to hurt him any further.

  “I’m fine.”

  I’m already shaking my head because I know he’s not.

  He removes the space between us and takes my face in his hands. “I promise. I’m fine.” He places a kiss on my forehead that scorches my skin and worms its way to my heart.

  “Shane said you were stabbed.” I look up into Liam’s eyes, but he’s glancing behind me.

  “I thought she was there?” Shane speaks from behind me.

  “Let the man sit down.” It’s Una, always the diplomat.

  She’s right, he needs to sit down, a sheen of sweat is gathering on his forehead. I step away to let him and am startled when his fingers brush mine, before he takes my hand in his.

  Darragh’s on the couch and sits up as we approach. His eyes shine with laughter as he stares at our hands and I have the urge to tell him to stop, but these are Liam’s family. I don’t look at Shane with his angry eyes or Una with her sympathetic ones. Finn is the easiest person to focus on. We sit down and Liam releases my hand. He’s struggling and no one says it as his face tightens. I bite my tongue but once we are alone, I won’t stay quiet.

  “Can I get anyone a tea or coffee?”

  Shane smiles lovingly at Una.

  “Tea would be nice.” Liam speaks up and everyone seems surprised, but Una nods and leaves the sitting room.

  “I’ll go help her.” Darragh’s off the couch and Shane watches him as he leaves the room. His eyes are filled with distrust as he stares at his brother.

  “How are you feeling?” It’s Finn who speaks. His voice is calm.

  “I’m fine. No one has to worry. How are you?” Liam asks and his voice sounds staged. It’s odd, but Finn doesn’t seem to notice.

  “I’m here.” Finn lets out a shaky laugh, that carries pain that has me looking away from him. I feel like I’m invading a very private moment and I don’t want to.

  Shane is standing at the fireplace and I glance up at him to find him watching me. My fingers search for Liam’s hand and I find it. Shane’s scary and angry and I sense he doesn’t like me so much.

  “I’m hoping you can explain things now.” Shane plays with a ring on his finger.

  “Not now, brother.” I glance at Liam and fight a smile. It’s so nice to hear his voice. It’s so nice to see him. Feel him. My fingers tighten on his hand and he glances at me. It's brief, but it’s enough to send my heart sailing.

  Darragh arrives into the room with a tray. He seems to wear a permanent smirk that’s filled with cockiness.

  “Would you like some sugar?” He asks me and I swear he’s fighting a smile.

  “One please.”

  Once Darragh hands me the tea, I relax. I don’t like letting Liam’s hand go, but he’s here right now in the warmth and safety in the room. With Liam at my side, I felt lucky.

  “So how long am I putting you all up for?” Shane asks.

  “Shane.” The warning from Una is expected; even as she delivers it, she still gives Shane a smile. They were opposites but seemed to work so well together.

  “You are all welcome here, but when will the house be safe for you to return to it?”

  Shane’s eyes widen. “You did it again. You asked what I just asked.”

  “I asked in a nicer way.”

  For the first time, I can’t stop the smile that spreads across my face. Una catches my eye and smiles at me.

  “Soon.” That’s all Liam says and they accept it as an answer.

  “I’m kind of liking this spot. I think I might crash a little longer.” Darragh takes his tea and biscuits over to the fireplace where he places them. Shane moves to the left to give Darragh room, but he looks at him like he’s the bane of his existence. Darragh dips his biscuit into the tea before winking at Una. “I think Una doesn’t want me to leave.”

  Una smiles at him and it’s filled with a fondness and an understanding that he’s just jesting.

  “You’re the first one out the door.” Shane steps away from Darragh and sits down on an empty chair to his left.

  After I place my empty cup on the coffee table, I lean back and close my eyes as the voices of the Irish brothers wafts over me. The sense of freedom and contentment I feel right now has a lump forming in my throat. It’s been such a long time. Too long. The pain inside me escapes from under my lashes and runs down my cheeks even as I smile. My emotions are such a contradiction of each other. The brothers stop talking and I know there is a good chance that they see me smiling and crying, but right now, at this very moment, I refuse to apologize. Fingers tighten around mine and I open my eyes and look into Liam’s dark ones.

  “You’re safe.”

  Salty tears make a path into my mouth. “I know. That’s why I’m crying.”

  Liam faces me and runs his thumbs under my eyes, wiping away more falling tears. His hand leaves my face and he takes my hand, helping me off the couch.

  “I will speak to you all tomorrow.”

  No one asks where we are going or says anything about me crying. There isn’t even a smart remark from Darragh. Liam doesn’t speak as we climb the stairs. Once we reach the landing, he pauses, unsure where to go now. I take the lead and bring him to my room. Opening the door, I feel nervous as we step in. Liam just has the ability to do that to me. I glance at him as he closes the door. I had told myself I wouldn’t apologize for crying but right now I wonder why he isn’t speaking, if maybe I embarrassed him in front of his family.

  “I’m sorry for crying.” I start and he closes the distance between us. My heart skyrockets, as he takes my face in his hands and presses his lips against mine. The kiss drops into my shoes and makes its way slowly back up through my body. My fingers hungrily cling to his wide shoulders. I’m panting when he breaks the kiss.

  “I missed you,” he says, like he’s trying out a new language.

  “I missed you too.” I smile as my heart catches up with his words and decides to keep racing.

  My eyes burn as I look into his. I love him. I know this, like I know I’m standing in this room. A part of me hates it. It’s another form of a cage. I was sick of cages.

  Liam leans in and his kiss this time is softer. My hands move to his stomach and he hisses in pain. I don’t ask but raise his top. His right side is covered in a bandage and it’s a reminder that he isn’t immortal.

  My eyes flicker to his. “Who did this?” I’m terrified in case it’s my uncle, that he discovered that Holic is d
ead. “If it was my uncle, I’ll tell him the truth. That I killed Holic.” I look at my hands now and it’s a reminder of what I did.

  “Your uncle knows Holic is dead. But he didn’t stab me. I did this to myself.”

  I take a step away from Liam. “What?” That made no sense, who in their right mind would do that to themselves and why.

  “Why?”

  “For you.” He closes the distance again. “So I can keep you and keep my family safe.”

  “Keep me?” I’m parroting his words. I hear what he is saying, but nothing is sinking in.

  He smiles and my heart leaps into my mouth.

  “Yes. That is if you want to stay?”

  My eyes and the back of my throat burn again. “I don’t think I could walk away even if I wanted to.” I speak the truth.

  I rise up on the tips of my toes and plant a kiss on his lips. “Thank you for stabbing yourself to try to keep me.” It sounds bizarre, and Liam lets out a soft laugh that rumbles through his chest and rattles my nerves.

  I take his hand and bring him to the bed. “You need to lie down.” I don’t have to say it twice as he lies on the bed. I remove his shoes and his socks. Liam watches me as I move around the room and the power his stare holds is nearly crippling. Drawing the curtains, I kick off my boots and climb into the bed beside him. My body wants him so badly, but I move carefully beside him and give him a soft kiss on the cheek.

  “Do you think it will work?” I ask, leaning up on one arm so I can look down on his handsome face.

  “Time will tell.”

  I kiss his cheek again before lying down beside him. I’m careful where I place my arm. The love I feel for him is almost painful, and I never knew it could hurt like this.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  SVETLANA

  It’s been weeks that I’ve been in Shane’s and Una’s house. I get free rein of the house which is lovely and my lessons have resumed which I’m due to attend soon.

  I empty the contents of my stomach into the toilet for the third time this morning. This is my morning routine and it scares the life out of me. My fear is what it means.