Whiteout Conditions

by Kendel Duncan

  Sy shook his head, “No, I don’t want that. I want to be strong for you. I don’t want you to feel like you can’t try to surprise me sometimes. Just know that I might freak out a little bit.”

  Grainger pressed a kiss to the top of his head, “Whether you freak out or not, just know that I’m here for you.”

  He led them both into the bathroom to get cleaned up for their first excursion into the world as a couple.

  Sylas could only hope that he was strong enough to make sure it wasn’t their last too.

  Thirty-Seven

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  Caysun

  He heard the door to the adjoining bathroom close and Vaughn quietly walk inside. One by one, his boots thumped to the floor as Vaughn removed them. Then the man did the same thing he’d been doing for the last four nights; he flopped down on his stomach, still dressed in his jeans and t-shirt, his eyes closing as sleep claimed him before his head even hit the pillow.

  Cay sighed as he stared up at the ceiling. He knew what Vaughn was doing, could feel the way he was closing himself off, the way he kept forcing his body into exhaustion as a shield to keep from feeling whatever this thing was that was growing between them.

  Why? Cay wasn’t exactly sure. Whether it was because of Caysun’s ties to O’Toole or from Vaughn’s guilt over what happened to his brother or from a deep-rooted fear of commitment - Caysun didn’t know. Nor was he allowed to ask. Every time he tried to brooch the subject, Vaughn always had something he needed to do.

  Well, no more.

  Cay was going to get the answers that he needed out of the man whether Vaughn wanted to give them or not.

  He rolled over onto Vaughn’s back and began kissing the back of his neck as he ground his briefs covered cock into his ass.

  Vaughn moaned and tried to move his hands from next to his head but Caysun covered them with his own and threaded their fingers together, keeping the man in place.

  “Cay,” Vaughn moaned. “Cay, we can’t,” he said even though his hips were now moving, grinding his own dick into the mattress while pushing back against Cay’s cock.

  “Yes, we can,” he said between kisses. He released one hand long enough to work Vaughn’s shirt up, so he could kiss down his spine.

  His fingers started to slide from Vaughn’s other hand but then he froze. He put his lips against Vaughn’s ear and whispered, “Keep your hands under the pillow Vaughn.”

  It took a few seconds, long enough for Cay to think the man might argue, before Vaughn nodded his head.

  Cay released his other hand and kissed down Vaughn’s back until he reached those intoxicating dimples just above those perfect globes.

  His hands grabbed those mounds as he dipped his tongue, first into one dimple and then over to the other.

  “Cay,” Vaughn groaned, well, more like it rumbled out of his chest.

  One hand skimmed down over the smooth skin of Vaughn’s waist and then began to try to wedge its way underneath his body.

  Vaughn’s back muscles bunched as he lifted his body just enough for Cay’s hand to slide in until he reached the button of Vaughn’s jeans. He popped it open and slid the zipper down far enough for the loose jeans to be able to slide over Vaughn’s hips.

  His fingers gripped the waistband of both jeans and briefs, and then he pressed a kiss to the left dimple, another to the right, one more kiss to Vaughn’s tailbone.

  Then he pulled the jeans and briefs down, revealing the perfect mounds of Vaughn’s ass like opening the perfect gift on Christmas morning.

  He pulled everything down to Vaughn’s knees and left it there…..for a reason.

  Next, he grabbed his pillow and lifted Vaughn’s hips just enough to shove it under his body. If his pillow got ruined from this, he didn’t care. It was more than worth it.

  His hands squeezed both globes, spread them and then ran his tongue from Vaughn’s hanging sack up to the top of his crack.

  “God, Cay,” Vaughn said in a deep rumble that Cay swore made the bed vibrate.

  Or maybe it was Cay’s trembling that was shaking the bed.

  He spit into Vaughn’s crack, watched as it ran down then used his finger to push it into Vaughn’s hole.

  “Yes,” Vaughn moaned as his fists clenched on either side of the pillow his forehead was currently pushing into.

  When he dipped his head down and slid his tongue inside on top of his finger, Vaughn nearly bucked him off. His legs began squirming, trying to move despite the restriction from his jeans.

  And then he whimpered.

  Caysun pressed his palm onto Vaughn’s lower back, “Easy Kep, I’ve got you.”

  Vaughn’s body was vibrating so much that Caysun could feel it as it traveled through his palm and up his arm.

  Hell, it felt like a lightning bolt that shot straight into Cay’s heart.

  He shoved his own thoughts and emotions to the side and concentrated on the man beneath him, a man who obviously, desperately needed to let go but who held onto his control so tightly that Caysun didn’t think he knew how to do that.

  Caysun was going to do everything he could to teach him.

  And he was damned sure going to be here to put him back together afterwards.

  He removed his finger and concentrated on spearing his tongue inside, reveling in the taste that exploded onto his tongue. Rimming wasn’t something everyone did, and honestly, he hadn’t done it a lot but that wasn’t because he didn’t like it. It was more because he didn’t really care about the men he’d been with before. Rimming was more than just a tongue in an ass. There was emotion involved. If you didn’t like or have any emotional attachment to the person whose ass your tongue was delving into, those emotions tended to affect your desire to actually do it.

  That was definitely not the case with Vaughn. With Deputy Kepler falling apart beneath his touch, Caysun found that he not only wanted to do it, but he craved it as too.

  Hence the moan that escaped his own chest as his tongue continued its wet assault on Vaughn’s hole.

  “C-c-c-c-cay,” Vaughn said on a shaky exhale.

  Cay could feel his spit running down his chin onto Vaughn’s heavy balls on the bed.

  “Need you,” Vaughn whined.

  Cay pulled his head up, “Lemme just get…”

  Vaughn’s hand shot down and gripped Cay’s thigh so hard he knew it was leaving marks. “Don’t go.”

  “Vaughn, I just need,” he glanced at his duffle bag in the corner.

  “No.”

  “But”

  “No”

  Then it hit Cay what Vaughn wasn’t saying; if Cay got out of this bed, Vaughn would bolt again, even if it didn’t want to.

  Well, fuck that noise.

  Cay shoved his briefs down and cover Vaughn’s body with his own, letting his dick glide slowly up and down between Vaughn’s cheeks as he whispered into his ear, “I’m negative, babe.”

  “I am too.”

  “You’re sure about this?”

  “Cay, I’m not sure about anything anymore, but I do know that I don’t want you to stop, not for anything.”

  Cay knew his heart was pounding so hard that Vaughn probably felt it, because he was nervous now too. He’d never fucked without a condom.

  But this wasn’t fucking anymore, was it?

  This was so much more.

  He pressed one more kiss to the back of Vaughn’s neck as he pulled his knees under him to lift up, “I won’t hurt you, V.”

  “I want to feel you, Cay. I want to feel you for days.”

  Cay’s emotions threatened to choke him because he could fucking hear everything that Vaughn wasn’t saying; that this might be the last time they were together if Cay couldn’t figure out how to bust through Vaughn’s defenses.

  Well, if this was the one chance he got, he was going to do his damned best to make it the most memorable experience of his life, something that, if he did walk away, he would feel a longing for what he once had wh
enever he thought of it.

  He pushed upright and gripped his dick in his hand. He let the spit pool in his mouth and then watched it run from his mouth until it landed in a shimmering blob on his dick. He rubbed it around the head and shaft, getting his dick as slick as possible. He pressed a palm to Vaughn’s left cheek and pushed it up to widen his entrance.

  Then he lined his dick up against that wet pucker and he pushed.

  As his thick head slowly disappeared inside, he began to see spots in his vision.

  Am I about to pass out from sex??? He thought just before he remembered…..

  Oh yeah, I have to breathe.

  He opened his mouth and sucked in air.

  At the same time, the head of his cock disappeared inside Vaughn.

  “Jesus,” he whispered as he watched more of his dick disappearing. This feeling, the suction, the warmth, the pulsing of Vaughn’s channel – it was pure fucking heaven.

  And he was so screwed.

  Because nothing would ever feel this good.

  “Fuck,” he whispered because he could feel Vaughn’s heartbeat pulsing inside of the man and he swore it was syncing up with his own that was thrumming through the veins in his dick.

  Vaughn whimpered and Cay froze, his fingers digging into Vaughn’s hips, “You okay?”

  Vaughn didn’t speak but he nodded his head.

  Cay looked down as he began pushing and just a few moments later, his dick was gone and his thighs were pressing against the lightly furred globes of Vaughn’s ass.

  Once that happened, the need to be connected to the man beneath him as much as possible surged through him. He folded his body over Vaughn’s and pressed kisses to the man’s neck, back and shoulders and he began slowly sliding his dick in and out.

  Vaughn moaned beneath him but it was a happy moan, a good moan, that turned needy towards the end.

  “You un-do me, Caysun Rourke.”

  Cay’s hips began moving faster, the walls of Vaughn’s channel sucking him in and fighting with him every time he tried to slide back out.

  Warm apple pie, my ass.

  He’d seen that movie.

  Fucking, no, making love to the man beneath him bare?

  There wasn’t a dessert in the world that felt this good.

  The sweat dripped down his spine and he could feel the tingling that signaled the inevitable conclusion.

  But he was quite ready for that.

  He needed Vaughn to finish first.

  He splayed his palm across the man’s breastbone and lifted him up as he sat back on his feet.

  He left enough room for his hips to snap up as he plastered Vaughn’s back to his chest.

  “Ugh, fuck!” Vaughn moaned as he reached back to grab a handful of Cay’s hair with one hand, his hip with the other.

  Cay could feel the head of his dick as it slid over that soft, spongy bundle of nerves inside Vaughn, the place that made the man grunt and twitch every time he did. He’d only ever felt that with his fingers before, never his dick.

  He felt like a fucking God in that moment, literally.

  “Gonna,” was all Vaughn managed to say before ropes of thick white cum erupted out of his flailing dick to land on the bed, on Vaughn’s chest, his stomach, the pillow, the headboard.

  That was the last thing Cay saw, that glob of white sliding down the wooden headboard, just before he threw his head back and had the biggest fucking orgasm of his life. The pulsing of his dick went on and on, seemingly spurred on by the additional warm lube that now cocooned his dick. It wasn’t until Vaughn grunted and fell forward with a mumbled, “tired,” that Cay realized that they were probably done.

  He just hoped that they were…..done.

  Vaughn sighed his name, “Cay.”

  “No, it’s my turn to talk, V. I know you feel what I feel. I know without a doubt that we belong together Deputy Vaughn Kepler. And I don’t care how far you run or how hard you try to push me away, I will not give up until you admit that you love me just as much as I love you.”

  Vaughn’s sharp breath was the only sound in the room, unless you counted the pounding of both of their hearts.

  When Vaughn opened his mouth to say something, Caysun clamped his hand over it, “Don’t. Don’t you dare. Not now. I just had the best sex of my life, Vaughn. Please let me pretend that this is my reality for just a little bit longer, okay?”

  Vaughn nodded, and Cay released him. He flopped down to his hands, tossed his cum covered pillow to the floor and landed his head flat on the bed.

  He was quietly snoring before Cay had moved.

  He stared down at Vaughn for at least a minute.

  He should go to the bathroom and get a washcloth. He should clean the man up.

  But he kind of liked knowing that Vaughn was sleeping with Cay’s spunk inside of him.

  “Fuck it,” he mumbled quietly as he flopped down on the bed next to Vaughn.

  He wasn’t going to clean him up but there was one thing he could do for him.

  He pulled the pillowcase off of the least soiled pillow, lifted Vaughn’s head and slid it under.

  Then he stared at the man for as long as he could.

  He knew there was a very real possibility that he would wake up alone.

  But even that wasn’t enough to keep sleep away for long.

  Thirty-Eight

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  Casey

  The sounds coming from the room next door were both disgusting - since he knew it was his own brother - and beautiful - because he knew how tightly Vaughn guarded his heart.

  It pissed him off too.

  Because those walls around Vaughn’s heart had gone up when he’d decided that he needed to be Casey’s protector.

  After what felt like hours but was actually only minutes, the sounds stopped. When they disappeared, he listened to the silence. He’d been doing that for a while now, listening to silence. He had slept so much when he was detoxing that he was all slept out. Now he lay in the bed listening to Miguel breathing as he slept next to him, wishing he could reach out and touch him the way he wanted to but also knowing that he couldn’t.

  Not yet.

  If he touched Miguel now, if he told him that he remembered everything and that he’d forgiven him, he knew the man would run as far away as he possibly could. Because there was no way in hell that he’d believe him. How could he? Casey kind of found it hard to believe himself.

  This man had poisoned him, had gotten him hooked on synthetic heroin.

  Casey should hate him.

  But he didn’t.

  Because Miguel was also kind to him. He read to him. He bathed him when he could. He cleaned him out of his own filth.

  Who knew when things had changed between them. Casey was still fuzzy about that. All he knew was that somewhere in his haze of addiction, he’d come to depend on this man, to care for him, to crave him, to need him.

  And the moment that Miguel had taken him away from that hell, the moment he’d hidden him here and put his own head on the chopping block in order to save Casey - that was the moment that Casey knew that Miguel craved him too, maybe he even loved him.

  But Miguel would never believe that Casey could forgive him. Not until Miguel could forgive himself.

  That would take time.

  So, Casey lay there, pretending he was asleep, willing his twitching fingers not to reach out to touch the man lying next to him, and he listened.

  He listened for the sound that he knew would be coming soon.

  The moment he heard the other bedroom door open and close, he got up from the bed and padded barefoot out the door and down the hall.

  When he found Vaughn putting his boots on as he sat in the living room chair, he waited.

  It wasn’t long before Vaughn glanced up and saw him.

  “What are you doing out of bed? You should be sleeping.”

  “So, should you. Next to the man who’s in love with you.”

  Vaughn
froze and glared at him. “You don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about. I barely know the man.”

  “That’s bullshit, and you know it.”

  “Keep your voice down,” Vaughn growled. He pushed up from the chair and walked to the door. He froze with his hand around the knob when Casey spoke again.

  “Do you know why I moved all the way to Denver?”

  Vaughn’s shoulders bunched. “Why?” he whispered.

  “Because I was sick of being the reason that you refused to live your life.”

  “I had a life, have one.”

  “No, Vaughn, you don’t. You have a job but that’s it. You spend every waking moment worrying about me, protecting me, taking care of me. Dad’s gone, Vaughn, he has been for a long time. You don’t need to take care of me anymore. You deserve to have someone who takes care of you sometimes.”

  “No, I don’t,” he mumbled.

  “Why, Vaughn? Tell me why you don’t deserve to be loved?”

  “Because I’ll only fuck it up. Look at how bad I fucked up taking care of you.”

  “No, you didn’t, Vaughn. I survived this ordeal, I’m standing here now because of you. I’m here because of your love for me, because of how much I cherish our bond. You are what got me through these last few months. I did it because I had to get back to you.”

  “Why?”

  “To tell you how much you mean to me, how much I love you. And to tell you how much I want to enjoy seeing you happy just as much as you want to see me that way. You want to know what would make me happier than anything you’ve ever done?”

  “What?”

  “Allowing yourself to be happy and in love.”

  Vaughn yanked the door open, “Hate to disappoint you, little bro, but I don’t think I know how. Go back to bed, Case. You’re shivering.”

  The door closed behind him at the same time Casey mumbled, “Fucking stubborn asshole.”

  He turned and made his way back to his room.

  He opened the door and tip-toed inside, trying his best not to wake Miguel.

  No such luck though as his whispered, “Is everything okay?” reached Casey’s ears as he settled back into the bed.