Kneel

by Elyzabeth M. VaLey

  “I don’t understand.”

  He walked to her and brushed her hair behind her ears, barely a featherlight touch. His gaze kept her pinned in place and she felt her breath hitch.

  “You speak of playing with other men, of submitting to them, but you were playing a role. Weren’t you? Through it all, you were in a way, in control. Your role as a model, as you reminded me the other day, was to be the unattainable woman and you’ve played it to perfection no matter what.”

  Kendra made to speak but Thomas silenced her with a glance.

  “Tell me, in your past encounters with Doms or Tops, did you remove your makeup? Did you let the façade of a perfect woman escape you? Were you even slightly nervous? Excited?”

  Kendra swallowed drily. Memories of her previous sessions swept through her mind. She’d had fun, but she didn’t remember them evoking any sort of memorable emotion.

  “No,” she said at last. “I never took off the mask.”

  “You’re going to take it off with me,” Thomas said decisively.

  “I’m not sure I’ll be able to do it.”

  His lips curled into a smile and he dipped his head so their foreheads touched.

  “Little bird, you won’t be left a choice. Besides, you’ve already dropped it. From the moment we began this interview process, to now, where you sit before me without an ounce of makeup, confessing your sentiments, you’re opening up, Kendra.”

  Her breath caught. “I suppose you’re right.”

  “Sir,” Thomas said, his voice taking a husky undertone which made goosebumps sprout on her arms.

  “I suppose you’re right, Sir,” she repeated in a whisper that sent an electric jolt of arousal traveling through her system.

  “Nothing pleases me more than hearing you say that.” Thomas cupped her chin and tilted her head. “I’m going to kiss you, Kendra.”

  “I—”

  “It was not a question. I simply don’t want to startle you.”

  “Oh.”

  His mouth was on hers without another word of warning. Soft yet demanding, it beckoned her to respond. Tingles of pleasure raced across her body, igniting it alive. Her arms moved and he grasped them, keeping them in place. His tongue swept across her lips and she opened to him with a sigh. Abruptly, he pulled back. Kendra stared at him, uncertain of what had happened.

  “We still have to take the picture,” he said, a smile spreading across his face.

  “Work before pleasure?”

  “Neither of us would have gotten here otherwise.” He moved back toward the camera and fixed his gaze on her. “Besides, little bird, I want to take it slow with you. I don’t want the flame to burn in a night.”

  Kendra’s eyebrows rose. “You want more than a night?”

  Thomas nodded. “I might even want forever.”

  Chapter Fifteen

  Thomas regretted the words the moment they left his lips. Telling a woman you’d just met you wanted her forever was a one-way ticket to a quick goodbye. He could see the fear in Kendra’s eyes, and he swallowed his sigh.

  “But, as I said,” he rushed to amend, “we’ll take it slow. You have to get to know me as much as I have to get to know you.”

  “Yes,” she whispered. “Maybe you’re not what I expect and this is all an illusion.”

  Thomas laughed. “Indeed. I could be your worst nightmare.”

  “I doubt it. That was Antonio.”

  Her countenance changed, the sparkle in her eyes fizzling.

  “What did he do to you?” Thomas asked.

  “I’d rather not talk about it.”

  Thomas nodded. “I recognize a hard limit when I see one, though I hope you’ll open up to me one day. Speaking of limits, what else is a big no, little bird?”

  “Scat, humiliation, knife play, anything which leaves a permanent mark.”

  “Yet, you have tattoos.”

  She smiled, the tension from her body almost disappearing, and he snapped a picture.

  “I like them. I chose to get them. It was my decision.”

  “I see. Caning? Spanking? Flogging? Bondage?”

  Kendra’s chest lifted as she took in a breath. Her arousal was there for him to see in the outline of her low-cut top. She fidgeted. He snapped another picture.

  “Yes.”

  “To all?”

  She nodded.

  “To all. I like it all.”

  Her gaze dropped. “Choking too.”

  Thomas’s cock jumped. “We have similar tastes.”

  “We do?”

  “Yes. Tell me, are you aroused right now?” he asked, even though he was certain of the answer.

  Kendra nodded.

  “Speak your words, little bird.”

  “Yes, Sir. I’m aroused.”

  “It turns me on to hear you say that.”

  Her lips curled into a hundred-watt smile. “It turns me on too.”

  He snapped another set of pictures. “There’s something you haven’t mentioned in your list of limits.”

  “What’s that?”

  “Kneeling.”

  Kendra’s eyes widened, her cheeks hollowing as if the memory of a painful moment had come back to haunt her. Thomas clenched his jaw. He hated reminding her of the memory, but he had to know how far he could go. If he was going to please Kendra, he had to make sure he didn’t fuck up.

  “Kneeling is out of limits too,” she said, tone contrite.

  “Tell me why.”

  “I-I can’t.”

  “Little bird.”

  She shook her head. “It’s personal.”

  “We’re dropping the mask, remember?”

  She grasped her knees, her knuckles turning white. “I can’t.”

  “Why not?”

  “I just can’t.”

  “You have to let go.”

  “It’s not easy.”

  “You’ve been holding on to that nightmare for too long,” Thomas said.

  “I don’t want to repeat the same mistake.”

  Thomas let out a long breath. He was losing her. Her tone was getting harsher and she was fidgeting in her chair, the aura of trust he’d built quickly dissipating.

  “All right, little bird,” he relented.

  Her sigh of relief was audible in the space. Her body sagged, visibly relaxing.

  “Thank you.” She paused as if debating whether to continue or not. “Sir.”

  “Thank you,” Thomas said. “For not giving up on me.”

  She laughed. “I’m interested in those shared interests we have.”

  “Excellent. Then”—he shut off his camera—“I think it’s time we put this chair to good use.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  Kendra’s heart skipped several beats, a murmur of nerves sweeping across her. “The chair?”

  “You mentioned you liked it and you’re already sitting on it.”

  “But—”

  “You’re okay with bondage.”

  “Yes, but—”

  Thomas crossed his arms but there was a light of mischief in his eyes. “The correct answer is, please, Sir, bind me.”

  “With clothes on?”

  Thomas smiled. “I don’t need to take off your clothes to make you mine, little bird.”

  “But—”

  “You come from a world where everything revolves around being stark naked, putting yourself on display. No. You’re going to remain dressed in those leggings and that nice long-sleeve top.”

  “But how are you—”

  “I didn’t think I’d have to teach you manners,” Thomas said, moving past her and fishing out a pair of Velcro cuffs from a chest.

  “Thank you, Sir, but—”

  “Are colors okay for safewords or do you have another preference?”

  “Colors are fine.”

  “Tell me your colors, little bird.”

  “Red for stop, yellow for I need a pause, and green for continue.”

  “Perfect. Arms behind your back, ple
ase.”

  Kendra took in a deep breath and did as he asked.

  “That’s my little bird. Tell me if you’re uncomfortable.” He moved behind her, tying her wrists together. Goosebumps sprouted on her flesh at his firm touch. “Is it too tight?”

  “No, Sir.”

  “Legs,” he said.

  Kendra spread her thighs, making her long-sleeved top hitch. Her calves rested against the chair’s wooden legs, cool and smooth. The sound of Velcro ripping through the air had her nipples hardening and desire pumping strong through her body. She took in a shaky breath. Excitement swam across her veins hard.

  “Good?” Thomas asked.

  “Perfect.”

  Thomas stood in front of her. She lifted her gaze to his and their eyes locked. Neither of them spoke, the room’s temperature rising in steady beats.

  “You’re beautiful,” he said softly.

  “I’m not wearing any makeup.”

  “Nor do you need to.”

  Gently, he gripped her face, his touch comforting. She shut her eyes. His warmth spread across her, relaxing and arousing simultaneously. Thomas’s hand slid down her neck, gripping it softly. His fingers tightened, every digit digging into her skin and making a moan burst through her.

  “Perfect,” he murmured.

  He pressed harder and she gasped, feeling the air leaving her. Dots danced behind her lids. Suddenly, the pressure disappeared and a burst of heat washed over her, accompanied by the touch of Thomas’s mouth. She moaned and he pushed the tip of his tongue into her, deepening the kiss. One of his palms fondled her breast. Her panties moistened further.

  “Sir,” she mumbled.

  “Perfect,” he murmured. “Open your eyes. I want you to look at me when I make you come.”

  She did and found his blue gaze piercing through her. He pinched her nipple through her shirt, and she cried out. He slid further down, rubbing at her pussy through her leggings. Kendra jolted.

  “Sir.”

  “You’re going to come for me, Kendra. I want to hear you.” He punctuated the last word. “Not Kendra the model or the actress. Kendra the woman.” He stroked faster.

  Kendra groaned. She shut her eyes. She swallowed furiously, desperate to let out one of the thousand cries she’d practiced to perfection, but it became trapped in her throat.

  “I can’t,” she cried. “Thomas. Sir.”

  Thomas kissed her hard. His hand snaked under her clothes, his fingers finding her wet pussy. He pinched her clit and she gasped, tremors of pleasure coursing through her and her body growing rigid with pleasure. She screamed, the sound rehearsed, practiced, fake to her own ears. She sat in silence for a minute, swallowing gulps of air. Finally, she cracked her lids open. Thomas stood staring down at her.

  “Thank you, Sir. It was amazing.”

  His lips quirked. “For how long do you intend to lie to yourself and to me? Should I sit down to wait? Perhaps order something to eat?”

  Chapter Seventeen

  Thomas stared at Kendra. A blush dotted her cheeks and she averted her gaze.

  “I did come,” she finally said.

  “I don’t doubt it, but your mind was still on playing a role, on being the perfect image for others. It’s not what I want. I want imperfection. I want vulnerability. I want the real you.”

  “I don’t think I can give that to you,” she said, angling her chin.

  “I think you can but you’re afraid.”

  “You overestimate me.”

  “And you underestimate yourself.” Thomas smirked. “We could go on all night.”

  “But we’re not. Please release me. I’d like to leave.”

  A jolt of pain skewered his chest. Thomas clenched his teeth and nodded. If it were up to him, he’d keep her strapped to the chair until she let go of her fake persona, but he was acutely aware of how badly it could turn out.

  “Of course,” he said instead. Kneeling in front of her, he undid the straps holding her legs. Before moving to her arms, he glanced up at her. “You can run from me,” he said. “But you can’t run from yourself.”

  “I don’t intend to. I’m quite happy with who I am.”

  Thomas lifted his brows then stood and went around to release the bonds around her wrists. Kendra stumbled to her feet as soon as she was free. He grasped her arm.

  “Careful.”

  She froze and he slid his hand to hers, squeezing it in what he hoped echoed reassurance.

  “I can give you more, Kendra. I can make you free.”

  “No one can do that.”

  “Not if you don’t let them.”

  “Maybe I like being a prisoner,” she responded.

  “If that were the case, we wouldn’t be here.”

  “Sexual chemistry brought us here.”

  “And yet we haven’t fucked, have we?”

  She scowled and pulled away from him. “I’m leaving,” she declared.

  “I’ll walk you to the door.”

  They headed downstairs in silence. Kendra’s posture was stiff, her footsteps loud against the hardwood floor.

  “I’ll call you about the book, that is, if you don’t call me before. My offer will always stand.”

  “You’re just a lovesick fan,” she muttered more to herself than to him.

  “Or the man who can finally make you kneel and let go of your past.”

  “Dream on.”

  “I’ll wait for your call, Kendra. We both know you will call.”

  Chapter Eighteen

  Feigning bravery, Kendra turned on the engine and sped off Thomas’s property without a glance back. Her thoughts traveled a mile a second. Memories of the past mingled with fear and hope. In only a few days, Thomas had gotten under her skin, just like Antonio. History had a habit of repeating itself, didn’t it? Her eyes filled with tears.

  “Shit.”

  Turning on her blinker, she parked on the side of the road. She shook so badly, she thought she would pass out. Covering her face with her hands, she forced a deep breath into her lungs.

  “What is wrong with me?”

  She knew the answer. The truth was she was tired of hanging on to the past. She wanted to let go and move on, but fear kept its chokehold on her, blocking her progress as it’d done so many times before. She’d lived behind a mask for so many years the idea of getting rid of it seemed impossible. Except, ever since meeting Thomas, the urge to change had taken hold of her. It was almost as if someone had had enough with watching her teeter on the edge and had decided to plunge her into an abyss by pressing the fast-forward button. Kendra stared at her hands. She should have stayed. She should have given Thomas and herself a chance.

  “What do I do now?”

  She could call him or return to his house and beg for forgiveness. On her knees.

  “Yeah right.”

  She sighed. She wasn’t entirely prepared for that. Her other option was to drive away and never look back, but how long would it be before the past came to bite her on the butt again? The sound of a car screeching to a brake startled her and she jumped in her seat. She locked her car and peered through the rearview mirror. Her jaw fell slack. Thomas strode to her car. She lowered her window.

  “Are you okay?” he asked, the concern in his voice audible.

  “Are you stalking me?”

  “Just making sure you made it home okay. You were pretty shaken.”

  “How did you—?”

  He smiled. “I’m observant, Kendra. I wouldn’t be a good Dom otherwise,” he said. “And believe it or not, I don’t want anything to happen to you.”

  “I get that.” She sighed. “I’m sorry I ran.”

  “Thank you for apologizing. I understand where your fear is coming from.”

  “Maybe we could go back to your house,” she suggested, hating the way her voice cracked at the end.

  Thomas shook his head. “As much as I’d like to, I’m going to say no.”

  “Oh.”

  “Your nerves
are still raw. Going back now and playing would bring us back to square one. No, I rather you go home and rest and tomorrow we can meet again.”

  “Are you serious?”

  “Dead serious.”

  “I don’t know what to say.”

  “Thank you, Sir would be a good start.”

  His smile warmed her inside out and she found herself reciprocating. “Thank you, Sir.”

  “You’re welcome, little bird. I’m going to follow you for a bit until I feel you’re safe. When you get home, I want to you draw a bath or a shower and relax for the rest of the afternoon. No working today.” Thomas cupped her cheek, the touch giving her a newfound sense of calm. She could do what he asked. It wasn’t difficult and it would do her good.

  “Thank you, Sir.”

  “You’re welcome. I’ll be right behind you.”

  Thomas returned to his vehicle and turned on the engine. Kendra drove off. She peeked in her mirror and saw him following her at a safe distance. Focusing on the road, she drove home. Thomas didn’t stop. He honked past her and disappeared in the distance. Kendra entered the building’s lot and parked. Letting out a long breath, she took the elevator to her apartment and headed straight for the bathroom. She didn’t remember the last time she’d indulged in a bath. Turning on the tap, she let the water heat before allowing the tub to fill and throwing in a few bath bombs.

  Quickly stripping, she stopped to glance at herself in the mirror. She stared in shock. She’d forgotten she’d removed all her makeup and the woman who stared back at her was almost unrecognizable. Her gaze appeared shadowed in doubt and the tiny wrinkles near her eyes were more prominent. Her complexion was paler than usual, her lips lackluster. How could he find her beautiful?

  “He’s blind.”

  Spinning around, Kendra dipped her toe into the warm tub.

  “Nice.”

  She sank into the water and shut her eyes, allowing the luxurious warmth to envelope her and the fragrance to waft up her nose. Thomas’s strikingly blue eyes danced behind her lids. How could she be into someone she hardly knew? It didn’t make any sense and yet, it wasn’t the first time it’d happened to her. It had been the same with Antonio. She’d fallen fast and hard for the drug lord and before she knew it, her life was falling apart at the seams.