Testament

by Katie Ashley

  I eyed her contemptuously. “Are you really this chipper this morning?”

  She grinned. “I imagined you’d be in a pretty foul mood, so I thought I’d try to do as much as I could to brighten things up around here.”

  “Nothing can do that.” I peeled back the covers on the bed. “I haven’t showered yet. Do you mind waiting?”

  “Go right ahead. I’ll see what’s on television.”

  I groaned on the way to the bathroom. “I just hope they don’t have some crazy instant replay of me looking like a deer in the headlights.”

  I bathed as quickly as I could, and then appeared back out in the room in my robe.

  Laurel dried my hair for me. Each time I looked in the mirror, she was looking back at me. When she finished, she cleared her throat. “Are you nervous?”

  “About being alone with him?”

  She nodded.

  I shrugged. “Not really.”

  She continued brushing my hair in long strokes. “Aren’t you the least bit curious about what he’s really like? Like, you might see him a little differently when it’s just the two of you.”

  “Frankly, I don’t want to see Kellan in a different light.”

  “Hmm, I think I know why.”

  I sucked in a breath and eyed her in the mirror. “What do you mean?”

  Laurel put the brush down on the counter. “I think that dark-haired Knight in Shining Armor that was by your side last night has something to do with it.”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I lied.

  “I think you do.”

  An uncomfortable silence permeated the air. Finally, I said, “If I were in love with Micah, what’s it to you? Working for Maureen like you do, you should understand that women don’t fare well in Kellan’s world.”

  Laurel sighed. “Yes, you’re right.” She added the final touches to my hair. “But I do know that Kellan isn’t his father. The very fact you’re sitting here before me is proof of that.”

  “Excuse me if that doesn’t make me feel better. Have you even stopped to really think why I am here? Even if Kellan wanted me, why in the hell would Richard allow him to move me on? I mean, after everything he stands for and what happened with Venessa, I just don’t understand.” I bit my lip to fight back the tears. My emotions threatened to overtake me, and I knew this wasn’t the time or place to allow that to happen. Too much was happening too fast, and I didn’t know how to cope with it.

  Laurel rubbed my shoulders. “Richard stated it would be Kellan’s choice, and he is a man of his word. I don’t see him backing down.”

  I swiped a tear away with the back of my hand. Regardless of what I could do for the Abir, I didn’t want to be a part of the pageant anymore. “But I’m so confused. I just want to go home. I want this to all be over. I-I want my old life back.”

  As she rubbed wide circles across my back, Laurel said, “I know you do, sweetheart. But think of it this way. There are a lot of people who would like their lives back and for the world to be the way it once was. But that’s just not going to happen. So for now, we can only do the best with what we have.”

  “But—”

  “All you can do is take a deep breath, keep an open mind, and give Kellan a chance.”

  “Whatever.”

  “Look, you’ve got to calm down or there’s not going to be a lot I can do make-up wise for you, okay?”

  “Fine,” I said, crossing my arms over my chest.

  Laurel started on my makeup, but tension hung so heavy in the air you could’ve hack sawed through it. When I caught her eye in the mirror, she cocked her head. “It’s not over til’ it’s over, sweetheart. There’s still time to throw the pageant and be back in that dark haired cutie’s arms by nightfall.”

  Her calling Micah a “cutie” brought a smile to my lips, even though I felt like anything but smiling. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “I think you know exactly what I’m talking about. But I also know what a strong, independent woman you are, and I’d imagine you’re conflicted about more than just him.”

  “Maybe,” I whispered.

  She nodded. “But I will say he would be worth it. I mean, he was positively frantic when you were out cold. Nothing would calm him, not even your brother assuring him you would be fine.”

  “He cares about me too much.”

  Laurel ceased powdering my face. “Why would you say that?”

  I refused to meet her expectant gaze. “Because I don’t know if I feel for him as strongly as he does for me. We’ve always been friends—well, he’s been Griff’s friend this last year or so. And in that time period, everything has been so crazy that I hadn’t really given any thoughts to having a boyfriend. Griff used to tease me about how much Micah liked me, but I thought he was just being a typical older brother. Sure, there were times I thought there was something more with him—”

  “You thought there was something or was it really that you wanted there to be something?”

  “I don’t know. Maybe. I-I guess I never really stopped to think about it.”

  “Uh-huh,” Laurel replied, cocking her head like she didn’t believe a word of it.

  I sighed. “And now when this stupid pageant nonsense happened, Micah finally told me how he felt. But instead of relief that I finally know the truth, it just feels we’re on some out of control merry-go-round of emotions.”

  “Maybe something drastic needed to happen so you both could realize how you truly feel.”

  Her words, the conversation, the events of the past two days finally snapped me in two. Tears stung my eyes, sending blackened streaks over my cheeks. “Would you just stop it?” I shouted. Laurel’s eyes widened in shock, but I barreled on. “Dammit, you guys are making me feel like a defective wind-up toy. I mean, one minute you’re telling me to give Kellan a chance, the next you’re telling me how much Micah loves me. Then he’s coming to my room telling me how much he loves me and I’m telling him back while Kellan is inching me along in this screwed up little game. What is that supposed to do to me but make me confused as hell!”

  “I’m sorry, Cadence.” She chewed her lip like she might cry, which made me feel even worse. Why was it I seemed only capable of hurting people lately?

  I touched her arm. “No, I’m the one who should be apologizing.”

  Laurel shook her head. “I can’t imagine what you must be going through. Well, I sort of can. I know a little bit about heartbreak and loving someone you can’t have.”

  “You do?”

  She nodded.

  “Who?” I pestered.

  For the first time since I’d met her, Laurel appeared embarrassed. “I really shouldn’t tell you.”

  “But I told you about Micah and everything. I promise I won’t say anything.”

  She appeared to ignore my question by fixing my tear stained cheeks. Finally, she met my gaze. “This can never go any further because it would be bad for so many people.”

  I leaned forward so far in my chair I thought I might fall out. She drew in a deep breath. “It was Maureen.”

  I jolted back. “K-Kellan’s mother?”

  She nodded.

  “But I didn’t know she…”

  Laurel shook her head. “That’s just it. She isn’t.”

  “Oh, I’m so sorry.”

  “It’s okay. I mean, we spent so much time together that I guess it was inevitable. There were moments when I thought she might feel the same—she and Richard’s marriage was over almost as soon as it started. She’d grown up in a divorced family, and she hated to do that to Kellan.”

  I grabbed her hand and squeezed it. “There’s someone out there for you, Laurel. I just know it. You’re too special for there not to be.”

  She smiled at me. “I suppose so. I mean, I haven’t given up looking.”

  I grinned. “I don’t think you should.”

  Whirling me around in the chair, she said. “All done.”

  P
eering at my reflection in the mirror, I questioned, “So, do I look all right?”

  “You look like an angel—well, at least until you open your mouth.”

  I laughed. “Thanks a lot.” One glance at the clock and I hopped out of the chair. “I better go, or I’ll be late.”

  “Good luck.”

  Just as I got to the door, I turned back around. “Thanks Laurel.”

  “For what?”

  I wanted to tell her thanks for reminding of me my mother. Over the past two days, she had sparked long dormant memories in me about the relationship I’d had with her. Just like with Laurel, my mom had always talked me through my problems, even if sometimes she added to them. Finally, I replied, “You know, for listening.”

  She winked. “Right back at ya, babe.”

  I blew through the doors and hurried down the velvet carpeted hallways. When I got outside, I found Kellan sitting by the fountain waiting for me. “Oh, I’m sorry I’m late,” I said.

  He smiled. “It’s all right, Red. I just got here.”

  Any nervousness dissipated at the sound of his nickname for me. I wondered if he wanted a rise out of me, so I decided not to give in to him. “So, what’s on tap for today?”

  “I did breakfast with Emma, so how about a little stroll along the property?”

  “Okay, that sounds nice.”

  Kellan led me down towards the lake. The water shimmered like diamonds as a gentle breeze blew the strands of my hair and the hem of my skirt. Geese waddled up to us. He motioned for a servant who stood at the top of the hill. After a few moments, the servant produced a fresh loaf of bread. “Here, feed them this,” Kellan said.

  I eyed it for a moment. It seemed wrong to throw something to the geese that so many people were dying to have. Kellan noticed my hesitation. “What’s wrong? You aren’t afraid of them, are you, Red?”

  “I’m not afraid of anything,” I retorted, snatching the bread from him.

  I shredded part of the loaf and tossed it to the geese. They snatched and grabbed at pieces—it was almost the same reaction that happened when people couldn’t get enough food. Kellan’s voice made me jump. “You wanna tell me what the hell that was about, Red?”

  Raising my head, I glared at him. “I have a name you know.”

  “Yeah, I know.”

  “Then why don’t you use it?”

  A smirk slunk across his face. “Because I like calling you Red, and I like doing what I want.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Just when I thought you couldn’t be more arrogant…”

  Kellan held up his hands. “All right, all right, I concede. Cadence,” he paused, “tell me why you didn’t want to give the geese bread.”

  “This,” I gestured to the loaf, “would mean a lot to some starving people I know. That’s why I was having a hard time giving it to some overfed palace geese.”

  “Oh,” he murmured.

  “That’s all you can say is ‘oh’?”

  Jamming his hands in his pockets, he retorted, “What do you want me to say?”

  “That you can understand why I reacted the way did, or that you feel really shitty that after everything people have been through, there are still starving people.”

  He stared at me, a quizzical expression on his face. “Wow, I really don’t know how to reply to that little tirade. I mean, you really put me in my place.”

  I sighed. “That wasn’t my intention. I just wanted you to realize there’s a whole world outside this property.”

  “And, I appreciate that.”

  I couldn’t tell if he was being sarcastic or sincere, so I chose to drop the subject by spreading out the last pieces of bread. Then Kellan started walking off along the shore. Rolling my eyes, I followed behind him. An uncomfortable silence hung in the air, weighing us down. Finally, my frustration broke lose, and I blurted, “Why am I here?”

  Kellan arched his eyebrows. “Excuse me?”

  I rolled my eyes. “I realize I’m a woman and allegedly inferior to your brainpower, but don’t insult my intelligence by pretending not to know what I’m talking about.”

  “Hmm, you want to know why you’re in the Top Three?”

  “Yes,” I hissed.

  He smirked at me. “I’m surprised you’d even have to ask. I would think a simple glance in the mirror would answer that question.”

  “But there were other girls in the Top Seven prettier than me,” I argued.

  His eyes roamed from my face to take a lingering stroll along the curves my body. “I don’t think so.”

  “So you’re that superficial and shallow? All you want is a pretty face you could tolerate looking at for the next fifty years or so.”

  “No, that’s not the only thing about you.”

  “Then what?”

  “I like your spunk.” My eyes widened, as I realized Laurel had been right about him. “None of the girl’s has what you do when it comes to personality and attitude. You remind me of Venessa and…”

  “And who?”

  “My mother.”

  “Oh,” I murmured. On impulse, my hand reached out to rub his arm. “I’m so sorry about her…well, you know.”

  Kellan’s expression suddenly darkened. “She tried to overthrow my father’s regime. She became a traitor to the government and me.”

  “Surely you don’t believe that.”

  He raised his eyebrows in surprise. “That what she did was traitorous?”

  I chewed my lip, wishing I had a tiny edit button to keep me from always saying too much. “Perhaps to the government, but not to you. I’m sure she loved you—that she still does. A mother’s love doesn’t die, especially one as strong as your mother’s.”

  He sucked in a breath. “And just how do you presume to know about my mother?”

  “My stylist used to work for her.”

  “Laurel,” he murmured.

  “Yes.”

  Shrugging, he grumbled, “She’s just a lowly servant. What would she know?”

  My eyes narrowed at him. “Yeah, well, we ‘lowly servants’ aren’t so intellectually stunted that we can’t see and feel, sir.”

  When he stared at me in disbelief, I ducked my head. “You certainly say and do what you feel, don’t you?” he questioned.

  “I suppose I do, sir.”

  “You don’t have to call me sir, Re-, uh, Cadence.”

  Cocking my head, “I’m sorry. I was merely doing what was expected of a lowly servant, like myself.”

  As soon as the words left my mouth, I cringed. It seemed whenever I was around Kellan, I let my mouth get the best of me even more than usual.

  Surprisingly, he chuckled. “That mouth of yours is dangerous.” There was a gleam in his eye that led me to believe there was innuendo behind his statement. It made me feel uncomfortable, so I thought it was best to change the subject.

  “Was it hard letting Venessa go? You know, since you loved her?” I asked.

  “Once again, you don’t hold out on anything, do you?”

  “Well, we are supposed to be getting to know each other, aren’t we?”

  Kellan shrugged. “I don’t know…I mean, I’m not sure I even know what love is.”

  I arched my eyebrows at him. “By your answer, I think you’re still evading the question.”

  He gave me a cocky grin. “I imagined you would appreciate that answer more than if I said guys like me don’t believe in love—we’re worshippers of lust instead.”

  “Really? Why, I had no idea someone of your alleged experience would be anything but a lover of the flesh.”

  Kellan laughed. “Trust me, Red, it isn’t alleged—it’s the real thing.”

  “Spare me.”

  “All right, all right. I’ll answer the question,” he said, holding his hands up in surrender. “Yes, I cared about Venessa. I guess I still do.”

  “Then why didn’t you fight for her?”

  Kellan snorted. “Right. Like my father would have ever allowed that.”
<
br />   “You could have tried. It might have meant something to Venessa to know how much you cared.”

  “She knew what kind of man my father was—hers is the same. We practically grew up together. Our families used to vacation together all the time.”

  “Ah, so it was easier for you to imagine yourself having a future with her since she was one of your kind?”

  “My kind?”

  “You know, wealthy and from the right kind of family and social standing.”

  “And I would imagine you know a lot of people working in the palace and in the fields who are from the right kind of families.”

  I shrugged. “Maybe they were at one time. But even before the Great Fall, they weren’t in your monetary leagues I’m sure.”

  “By your position in the palace, I wouldn’t think you came from too modest means.”

  “My parents were college professors. Their parents had been educated and did well for themselves. We had a nice home, and we went on nice vacations.” A lump formed in my throat. “We had a nice life,” I said in a whisper.

  Kellan studied my expression before he spoke. “I assume your parents are dead.”

  For a moment, I became speechless. I couldn’t tell him the truth that my parents had been killed in the religious rebellion. Kellan took pity on my hesitation and asked, “I guess they died in the Great Fall?”

  “Yes,” I murmured.

  “I’m very sorry about your parents, Cadence.”

  When I met Kellan’s gaze, there was such sincerity it took me off guard. “Thank you.” Without asking, I sunk down onto the emerald grass near the shoreline. To my surprise, Kellan eased down beside me.

  Stroking a blade a grass, he asked, “So, tell me something unusual about yourself—something that very few people know.”

  I laughed. “That sounds totally staged.” At Kellan’s surprised expression, I said, “Why do I get the impression this is some standard “date” question you’re asking all of us?”

  “Just answer the question, smartass,” Kellan retorted.

  I pointed my finger at him. “Tsk, tsk, you really need to work on your wooing skills.” I surveyed his amused expression, and then glanced up at the sky. “So, something that’s just me.”

  “It shouldn’t be that hard of a question, Cadence. After all, you’re far more complex than most of the girls I’ve met.”