Testament

by Katie Ashley

  “I don’t care if it’s the right place or not. This is my life and my future. And I want to make sure you really want to be a part of it.”

  “You know I do, but I think it’s safe to say that neither one of us are sure what you want!”

  His words stung me, and I almost wished he’d slapped me instead. I drew in a ragged breath. “Kellan wants me to wear red tonight. If I do, then he knows I’m coming to him willingly.” Micah arched his eyebrows, waiting for my response. “But I’m not going to.”

  “You aren’t? What about Griff and the Abir?”

  “I just want to go home.”

  “What about me?”

  Even though it was risky, I leaned forward, molding myself against him like Kellan had molded against me earlier. I wanted to prove myself to him. “Take me home tonight, Micah.”

  A hesitant smile twitched at his lips. “I can do that.” Brushing a strand of hair out of my face, he said, “I want nothing more than to do that.”

  I closed my eyes at the feel of his hand on my cheek. The confusion swirling around me seemed to still. Griff had asked too much of me to try to win the pageant. Regardless of what Richard was, I couldn’t knowingly feed Kellan to the wolves. Griff and the Abir would have to let the chips fall where they did because I didn’t want to play a hand at their game. And I knew at that moment, I was doing the right thing.

  Laurel found me sitting in the chair, staring at my hands. When I peered up at her, she smiled grimly. “Damn, the date went that well, huh?”

  “The date was fine,” I murmured.

  When I finally raised my head, she was staring at me. “Oh honey, I know that look. You’re even more confused now, aren’t you?”

  I sighed. “Look, I don’t need this right now. Just do my makeup and hair, please?”

  Laurel shook her head. “I might do your hair and makeup, but you’re going to talk to me while I do it.” Just the feel of her hand on my shoulder caused me to lose it. Tears rolled down my cheeks and dropped onto my robe.

  In between hiccupping sobs, I related what had happened on the date, Kellan’s proposition, and what had happened with Micah. When I finally finished, Laurel had tears in her eyes too. “I’m so, so sorry.”

  I half laughed, half cried, “Is that all you can say?”

  “Sadly, yes. I wish I had more words of wisdom, but I don’t. No matter what you do, someone is going to get hurt. There’s really no solace.”

  “But it’s the right thing to do. Kellan should be with someone who really wants to be with him, and Lana and Emma could really love him.”

  Laurel smiled sadly. “But there’s hurt in that for Kellan, and there’s hurt for you.”

  “Me?”

  “You have feelings for him, too.”

  I furiously shook my head. “But I love Micah. I know I do.”

  “You can have feelings for more than one person, you know.”

  “Yes, I know other people can, but not me.”

  Laurel cocked her head skeptically. “You just keep telling yourself that, sweetheart.”

  She finished my hair and makeup in silence. I guess she thought there was nothing else to say as long as I kept deluding myself about my true feelings. When I got up to slip on my dress, Laurel drew me into her arms. “Sorry about the comments, kid,” she whispered in my ear.

  “It’s okay.”

  “You hang in there tonight.”

  I nodded.

  Just as I zipped up the dress, Mrs. Munroe stuck her head in the room. “Cadence, are you ready, dear? It’s almost time.”

  “Yes, I’m coming,” I called from the bathroom.

  I met her exasperated expression the moment I stepped out of the bathroom. “You look lovely, dear. Good luck tonight.”

  I almost laughed in her face because her countenance told me she hoped I was the last one on earth to win. “Thank you, Mrs. Monroe,” I replied, politely.

  She jerked her head to the door, and I scurried after her. Lana and Emma waited at the elevators. We gave each other tense smiles. “I guess this is it,” I said, after we stood in an uncomfortable silence waiting for the elevator.

  Lana replied with a quick bob of her head and then turned away from us. Emma gave me a sympathetic look. “Good luck tonight,” she said.

  “You too.”

  The three of us didn’t say another word to each other the entire elevator ride downstairs. In fact, it was the last thing we said to each other until we lined up to go out on the stage. An electricity hung heavy in the hair while conversation buzzed behind the red velvet curtain. I could only imagine that somehow I, in all my inappropriate glory, was somehow a part of that conversation.

  I shook the thought away as Guy waltzed over to us. “Are you ladies ready?”

  We all nodded in unison. A tight smile formed on his face, and I realized he was nervous. “All right then, let’s get this show on the road.”

  He drew in a deep breath like he was jumping into the deep end of a pool before flinging open the curtain. “Good evening ladies and gentlemen.”

  The orchestra music filled my ears as well as the applause from the audience. When it died down, Guy spoke again. “We’ve come to the final moment of the pageant. The moment when we’ll meet the future Empress of our country.” He paused dramatically. “I don’t know about you all, but I’m pretty damn excited about it.” Thunderous applause answered his question.

  “Let’s bring our ladies out, shall we? First, Emma York.”

  Emma glanced back at Lana and me. She wore her emotions on her face since it had turned positively green. I hoped for her sake and ours that didn’t throw up when she got out there.

  Everything seemed to slow to a standstill. The world around me muted, and it felt like an out of body experience. Lana walked out onto the stage when she was called, and once again, the audience responded with loud applause.

  “And, Cadence O’Bryant.”

  I closed my eyes and willed my heart to be still. It took everything within me to stride confidently through the curtains. With a smile plastered on my face, I bobbed down the stage in my heels. Even though I knew better and had promised myself I wouldn’t, I allowed my gaze to wander into the audience—more importantly the front row.

  My eyes locked with Kellan’s. His face was devoid of expression except for the clenching and unclenching of his jaw. I wanted to spin on my heels and run out the door as fast as I could. I knew I had hurt him, and that caused a burn to roll through my chest. Quickly, I turned my head away from his intense glare.

  “What a contest this has been. And now, we’ve come down to the final three.” The audience clapped wildly. “Now, we’d like for Kellan to come up on stage and announce his decision.”

  Kellan rose from his seat, and the auditorium silenced. Every eye in the house, not to mention everyone at home watching television, was on his handsome form as he made his way up the stairs to stand beside Guy.

  “And now, the moment is really here.” Guy turned to the audience. “I don’t know about you all, but I’m just about to burst with excitement!” Laughter echoed through the auditorium. Guy dramatically sighed and turned to Kellan. “Who is the lucky lady you’ve chosen?”

  Kellan smiled at Guy. “There’s only one girl I could imagine spending the rest of my life with.”

  It seemed like every person in the audience held their breath and leaned forward in their seat. “And that girl…would be Cadence.”

  The world around me shuddered to a stop at his revelation. My chest constricted, and I fought to breathe. Thoughts whirled in my mind. No, no, NO! This couldn’t be happening. He asked me to wear red so he would know I wanted him to pick me. He had sworn this would be how I knew he was different and how he had changed. I hadn’t worn red, so why was he picking me?

  If Lana and Emma hadn’t both turned to hug me, I would have sunk to the floor. My legs appeared too rubbery to hold me up. The audience recovered from their shock and clapped and whistled.

>   Frantically, I stared out into the audience. Micah appeared as horrified as I was. Emotions overpowered me and sent tears stinging my eyes. Through the haze, I felt someone take my hand.

  When I looked up, Kellan stood beside me. Seething anger radiated in his eyes instead of the happiness I would have expected. I shivered. He thrust a bouquet of roses into my arms, not caring that some of the thorns scraped my arms. “Smile for them, Cadence,” he ordered through gritted teeth.

  His hand squeezed mine so hard it sent new tears to my eyes. It took everything within me to bring a beaming smile to my face. With our matching smiles, Kellan and I waved to the crowd. The music began to die down, and Guy escorted us off the stage.

  We were then ushered to a waiting room back stage. The door closed behind us, and I turned wide-eyed and open mouthed to him. Before I could say anything, Mrs. Munroe rushed in. “Oh, goodness, the reporters are here and demanding an interview. Are you ready for that, Kellan?”

  He nodded. “Sure, why not.”

  Mrs. Munroe glanced at me, a tight expression on her face. “Remember not to open your mouth, dear.”

  “Excuse me?” I demanded.

  “No one wants to hear from you. It’ll be good practice for your future life with Kellan as the Empress.”

  Heat burned through my cheeks, and I clenched my fists to still the rage within me. If Mrs. Munroe noticed, she didn’t say anything. Instead, she went to the door and allowed the reporters inside. As they rushed at us, Kellan grabbed my hand, jerking me closer to him. A middle aged reporter with a mustache jostled his way to the front with a cameraman behind him. “So, here we are with the happy couple. Kellan, tell us how you made your decision?”

  A mega-watt smile flashed on his face. “Well, it wasn’t an easy one. I had so many beautiful girls to choose from. But Cadence caught my eye from the beginning.”

  Another reporter pushed a microphone in Kellan’s face. “A lot has been made of Cadence’s somewhat unorthodox behavior during the pageant. What would you say to those who feel you might’ve made a wrong decision?”

  My skin crawled as if leeches slithered up my arm. It took everything within me not to open my mouth. The very idea I wasn’t even allowed to answer his demeaning question was too much to bear.

  “Like my father, I am an avid horseman. My father’s always taught me that some determined horses just need to be broken.” He turned to smirk at me. “That’s how I saw Cadence—she just needs breaking in, and she’ll make a wonderful Empress.”

  White hot anger seethed within me. I’m sure my entire face and neck burned like an inferno.

  After a few other questions, Mrs. Munroe began waving the reporters back. “Okay, gentleman, I believe that’s enough. Kellan and Cadence have had a long day. They need their rest,”

  The reporters obediently left the room—satisfied with the story they’d gotten. When they were gone, Kellan closed the door and turned to me.

  I shook my head. “How could you?” I asked in a trembling voice

  His blue eyes narrowed at me. “Are you asking how I could have dared to pick you?”

  “Yes,” I whispered.

  He crossed his arms over his chest. “Aren’t people allowed to change their minds?”

  “Not about something like that.”

  “Well, I changed my mind. It’s that simple.”

  His whole demeanor sent a chill through me. “And the horrid things you said to the reporters. How could you talk about me like that? I-I thought you were different. Y-You promised you had changed.” My lip quivered, and I hated myself for crying.

  “I’ve told you before, Cadence, I’m used to getting what I want. I wanted you. It’s that simple.”

  “But I honestly believed you when you said you would give me a choice. All I wanted was my wishes and my voice to be heard.”

  He sneered at me. “Maybe someone of your station should be a little more grateful you’re getting out that shithole where you live and being given an opportunity like this.”

  I gasped. “You arrogant prick! How dare you talk to me that way!”

  “I will remind you to watch you tone with me.”

  “Or what? You’ll throw me in jail like your father did your mother?”

  A low hiss erupted from his throat, and I knew I’d said too much. “Look, why don’t I do us both a favor and get the hell out of here.” Before he could argue, I sidestepped him and raced out the door.

  I sprinted all the way down the corridor and back to my room. Once I had locked myself inside, I stalked over to the bathroom. Hot tears burned down my cheeks as I started taking off my clothes. I didn’t bother waiting for the water to heat up. Instead, I slid inside and let the icy drops pelt my body like Kellan’s words had earlier.

  I’m used to getting what I want, and I wanted you.

  Like a spirited horse, she just needs breaking,

  Swiping the tears from my cheek, I then growled in anger. How could I have allowed myself to care for someone like Kellan? To think I had worried about his safety and his life enough to want to turn my back on Griff’s request when all the while Kellan could be so selfish and unfeeling. Even though I wanted to feel trapped, I knew I wasn’t.

  My emotions about Kellan and Micah and the Abir sent me furiously scrubbing my body until my skin was red and raw. When I finally shut off the water, I was so emotionally and drained I didn’t know if I had the strength to walk to the bedroom.

  A knock came at the bathroom door. “Yes?” I called.

  “It’s Mrs. Munroe, dear. Your brother is here to see you. He’s waiting in the living area.”

  “Just a minute.”

  I quickly toweled off and then slipped on the lacy pajama set that had been laid out for me. After I pulled on my robe, I headed out into the bedroom. When I threw open the bedroom door, I half expected to see Micah with Griff, but instead, it was Maggie. “What are you doing here?” I asked.

  Griff’s sucked in a breath at the sight of my swollen and puffy eyes. “You weren’t downstairs at the pageant after party. What’s wrong?”

  I stared pointedly at him. “Why Griffin Patrick O’Bryant, where are your manners? Are you not going to introduce me to your girlfriend?”

  His face flushed. “You didn’t answer my question”

  I shrugged dismissively.

  Griff glanced at Maggie. “Please excuse us.”

  She nodded. I didn’t have time to protest before Griff grabbed me by the elbow and jerked me into the bedroom. “What do you think you’re doing? This isn’t some game you can play with Kellan.”

  “Don’t you think I know that?”

  “Then what are you doing leaving him alone downstairs?”

  I glanced down at the worn floorboards. “It’s just he…”

  “What?”

  I then relayed the argument I’d had with Kellan, as well as what he promised about the dress.

  Griff’s eyes widened. “You called him out?”

  “Yes,” I sighed with exasperation.

  “Are you insane?”

  Crossing my arms across my chest, I narrowed my eyes and huffed, “Yes, as a matter of fact, I am!”

  Griff began pacing around the room, frantically running his hands through his hair. “I can’t believe this. I honestly can’t believe this. You, out of all the girls, get chosen to be the next empress, and this is what you do?” He grabbed me by the shoulders. In a low voice he said, “And what about our plans to help the Abir?”

  I shoved him away. “Yeah, and what if you and your precious Abir don’t succeed? What happens to me then? I’m stuck in this palace, married off to Kellan who wants to control me and bend me to his will! Mom and Dad would roll over in their graves if that became my life. I’d rather be dead than to live my life in a prison behind the palace walls—a shriveled up husk of my former self.”

  “With the way you behaved tonight, you just might get your wish,” Griff replied, coldly.

  His words had the same effec
t as if he had slapped me. I reeled back and brought my hand to my mouth. Instantly, his face softened. “I’m sorry, Cady. I shouldn’t have said that.” He reached out for me, but I pulled away.

  “Just go,” I whispered, not wanting Griff to see my tears.

  His shoulders sagged and nodded. He started for the door. “I really am sorry,” he said, before he slipped into the living room.

  I couldn’t hold my emotions in any longer. I collapsed on the bed and started sobbing. I rubbed my fingers together, wishing for the comfort of my buried rosary. Rolling over, I buried my face in my pillow to drown out my screams.

  The day’s rollercoaster ride exhausted me, and I quickly cried myself to sleep. Sometime after the ancient mantle clock struck midnight, I shot up in my bed. Panting, I searched the shadowy darkness.

  Nothing.

  Just as I eased back down, I heard the noise again. It was someone at the door.

  Fear paralyzed me. Images flickered in my mind of the day they’d come for my parents, just before they’d been executed. Was someone coming for me because I’d left Kellan?

  Swinging my feet over the bed, I raced from the bed and threw open the door.

  Kellan stood in the middle of the living area.

  “You?” I demanded.

  He nodded.

  “But w-what are y-you doing here,” I stammered.

  When his eyes met mine, he inhaled sharply. “I need your help, Cadence.”

  My eyebrows shot into my hairline. “Me? What could you possibly need me for? Aren’t I the one who simply needs breaking like an unruly horse?”

  He ducked his head at the mention of the words he had said to me earlier. “No, that is not it.”

  “Then what is it?”

  “I-I had a very frightening dream tonight. Actually, I’ve had it several times. I need—I want you to interpret for me.”

  For a moment, I couldn’t speak. I just stared at him. He seemed so vulnerable, so frightened. It was so much different than how he had appeared with the press. Finally, I nodded and eased down on the couch beside him. “Give me your hands,” I instructed.

  Kellan placed his palms over mine. I was surprised to find them so sweaty. “Now tell me about the dream.