Return to Avalon: Book #4 (The Legend Series)

by Kylie Stewart

  “Please, tell me it’s a lie.” Her sobs rattled my chest. “She can’t be gone. I need her. She’s all I have left.”

  I struggled to choke back my own emotions. “I’m so sorry, love. I wish it were a lie.”

  “No!” She cried out like a wounded animal, and it broke my heart. “No, please, not again.”

  Alexandria wept into my shirt. No words any of us said could cause this pain to stop. Her anguish, I felt it in my core. Our bond, no matter how scattered and lost the memories, still held strong.

  “I’m going to take Alexandria back to bed.” Glancing over my shoulder, I swept my gaze over the group. “Morgan, you should go before Mordred figures out where you are. We can’t afford to lose you too.”

  My sister’s eyes widened and nodded, clearly shaken by this entire ordeal. All of my focus, one-hundred percent of my attention then turned to Alexandria. She needed me. As I walked slowly up the steps and down the hall, my heart sunk in my chest. Her crying continued, pleading, praying, and begging for the truth to be a lie.

  And I couldn’t fix it.

  “Arthur.” Her voice, small and defeated, broke through my thoughts, and I looked down, pausing.

  “Yes?”

  A familiar, harsh calculating stare met mine. “They won’t get away with this.” She sucked in a deep breath and narrowed her eyes. “I’m going to kill them all. No one is ever going to hurt me or the people I love again.”

  Silent relief coursed through my bones at her resolve.

  She’d chosen to fight.

  “No.” I kissed her forehead. “No one is ever going to hurt you ever again. I promise you.”

  “Arthur.” Alexandria cupped the back of my neck and pulled me down to her.

  Our mouths crashed, hers determined, mine careful until she nipped at my lower lip, and a growl resonated in my chest. That kiss in the hall, holding my broken-hearted girl, put so many pieces back in place for both of us. When we parted, both breathing heavily, she ran her fingers down my face.

  “I’m going to protect you in return, Arthur. I promise.”

  Speechless, so stunned by her vow in return, I did the only thing I could.

  I kissed her so deeply I drowned.

  I didn’t need air.

  I lived off her.

  For her.

  EIGHTEEN

  Alexandria

  The next two days turned into the longest of my life, even longer than when my parents died. This time, I was the one in charge of the funeral arrangements. Everything rested upon my shoulders. From the call from the hospital, to the funeral home, to the flowers, and invitations sent out to her closest living friends—it all landed on me.

  I honestly didn’t know how I’d have survived without Avalon and Vivian being so kind. Avalon drove me to the hospital to see her before she was taken to the funeral home. Merlin stayed in the car, offering silent support.

  Seeing her there, looking pale but sleeping, broke my heart. Neither of my parents had been suitable for an open casket after their fiery car accident. I remembered them just the way they were before they left on holiday.

  Here, I saw death, felt death, even smelled death.

  The notion that Mordred pulled the strings for the deaths in my family enraged me and kept my head above water. He wasn’t going to get away with this. Not this time.

  After shedding more tears at the hospital, we’d driven to the lawyer’s office where my grandmother’s will could be read. I was her sole inheritor. Everything went to me, even the country house I’d grown up in.

  Still, nothing made the loss better.

  Knowing that taking the sheath from her home and bringing it back to Avalon sealed her fate made me sick.

  Perhaps she’d known all along?

  Not knowing killed me and kept me up all night.

  So many unanswered questions haunted me.

  Now, the arrangements were made, the times set, and the only thing left to do was up to Avalon. He’d called the palace to get private security detail for the church and burial site so that neither Mordred nor Lancer could make an appearance.

  Sitting on the window seat of my room and glancing out at the light flurries of snow coming down, I balled my hands into fists until my nails bit into my skin.

  I would never forgive Lancer. He’d done the unforgivable. We were finished.

  My rage focused on him and Mordred, and Tristan, that bastard of a doctor.

  I understood what revenge was now. And I wanted my retribution in blood.

  Avalon let me wander around the castle, listless and lost in my thoughts, but always made sure to bring me food or tea. He never left me alone for too long, and even though I didn’t want to talk, his presence comforted me.

  Without even meaning to, I’d begun to call him Arthur again. Maybe that was due to what Guinevere showed me. Or maybe because it felt good to call him by his true name.

  I knew it made him happy. His body language gave him away. Every time I’d say his name, he relaxed and seemed relieved.

  He’d let me cry for as long as I needed to after I heard them talking about my grandmother’s death. He never once asked questions or tried to make it better.

  I was the one who initiated the kiss. And once again, I moved on instinct. At first, I’d just wanted to take my mind off my breaking heart, but the longer we kissed, the more my heart broke. His lips were so familiar yet so new at the same time.

  My cheeks burned just thinking about the way he’d kissed me back. For such a straight-laced, old-fashioned man, Avalon had passion and the skill to match. With a sigh, I leaned back against the wall and watched the snow, strange to see in late March but calming. After a few minutes of empty thinking, a knock came on my door.

  Smiling, I didn’t have to guess who it would be. “Come in.”

  Avalon entered, his usual concern etched over his forehead. “I was just coming to see how you were doing.”

  We hadn’t talked about our kiss and hadn’t kissed again since. He seemed just as shy as I was on that topic, which I found very endearing.

  “I’m doing better.” I brought my knees to my chest and patted the empty space next to me. “Come join me?”

  He didn’t need to be asked twice.

  Avalon took a seat next to me, taking one of my hands and just holding it as he stared out of the window. My breath caught in my throat at the way the light played on his sharp features. His black hair shimmered blue in the afternoon sun, and his gray eyes dilated, and the emerald bursts grew brighter.

  “You’re so handsome.” My mouth spoke without my brain’s approval.

  His head snapped around to stare at me, half amused and half surprised. A sexy smirk crossed his delicious lips.

  “Thank you. You are quite the beauty yourself.”

  Blushing, I shrugged. “If you like messy ponytails, yoga pants, and oversized sweaters.”

  He chuckled. “That, in fact, has to be my favorite way to see you. If you can believe that.”

  Teasing him, I smiled back. “Oh, I’m sure.”

  A comfortable silence fell between us before I dared to ask the question burning in my mind.

  “What do you miss the most about our relationship?”

  His breath caught briefly, and his eyes shut for a moment. When they opened, he turned all his attention on me.

  “I miss everything, Alexandria.” Gray eyes misted slightly. “I miss you being unafraid to touch me. I miss kissing you whenever I want.” He glanced down at the space between us. “I miss making love to you. Being with you completely is the most incredible feeling.”

  I swallowed hard, unsure if I was aroused or uncertain of his admissions.

  “I miss laughing with you, holding you, hell, even arguing with you.” He raked a hand through his hair, causing it to appear wild. “I miss you telling me you love me.”

  Squeezing his hand back, I leaned forward. “I’m sorry I don’t remember.”

  He reached out and caressed my face, ru
nning his thumb over my cheek. “It’s my fault for allowing them to steal you away. I’ll never forgive myself because we were so good, Alexandria.” His jaw clenched, and his voice broke. “I wanted everything with you, and I still do.”

  Oh, wow.

  Everything?

  My heart nearly jumped out of my chest at the thought of what everything entailed.

  “Please don’t be afraid of that.” He offered a cheeky smile.

  “Oh, I’m not.” The burning in my face made it to the tips of my ears. “That’s nice to hear, that we had that kind of relationship.”

  Another moment of quiet settled over us, and as I watched him stare back out of the window, I was in awe of how patient Avalon was with me.

  “Can I show you something?” He turned back with a spark in his eyes. “I think you’ll enjoy it.”

  “Uh, okay.” Slowly sliding my legs down to the floor, we both stood. “Where are we going?”

  He gave a mischievous smirk. “The stables. There’s an old friend that I think would love to see you.”

  My ears perked up at the suggestion of visiting the stables.

  Did I have a horse while I was here?

  I exchanged sorrow for a bit of excitement, slipping my boots on and grabbing a jacket. Avalon and I made our way down the corridor and stopped at his room to grab his own coat; a long black coat that made him look so sexy it hurt.

  Goodness, Grandma, I don’t know what to do. I chewed my lower lip, watching him walk ahead of me, broad shoulders all taunting. Can I really fall in love with someone again after they’ve already been erased once?

  Avalon led me past the main foyer and down a side hall. His wolf-dog, Cavall, trotted beside his master. I’d still not gotten over the fact that Avalon took in a wolf pup and raised him as a house dog. He opened a side door for me and allowed me to step through into the light snowfall.

  Tilting my head back, I let a few flakes melt on my face before a firm hand on the small of my back urged me forward.

  “This way.” He seemed so excited to show me whatever waited for us in the stables.

  He opened another door, and I stepped into the sweet smell of hay, horses, and leather. The warmth the small but elegant barn gave off made her feel welcome and at home.

  Cavall sat on his haunches by the door, and Avalon gave a low whistle.

  Several different colored heads poked out of their stall doors, and one chestnut, in particular, shuffled impatiently. Avalon chuckled and walked over to the striking mare with a white blaze, reaching out and offering her scratches behind her ears. I followed, waiting until she pricked her ears and reached out to sniff me.

  “She’s gorgeous.” I stroked down her nose, and her big, chocolate eyes watched me.

  “Her name is Phoenix, and she’s my personal favorite.” Avalon leaned down and opened the trunk in front of her stall to dig out a treat for her. “Here”—he handed me one—“save this one for your boy.”

  “My boy?”

  Arching a brow, we moved a few stalls down, and a large gray head bobbed when he saw me coming.

  “He’s so beautiful.” My eyes widened at the sheer size of the gelding. The silver dapples shone over his shoulders and flanks, and the dark sheen of his mane and tail seemed to sparkle in the overhead lights.

  “His name is Chasing Camelot, Cam for short, and he’s yours.” Avalon spoke so reverently, so softly, I couldn’t look at him.

  I focused on the gentle giant in front of me, gave Cam the treat, and stroked his neck affectionately. “He seems to recognize me.”

  Avalon patted Cam’s arched neck. “He should. You two were very close while you stayed here.”

  Swallowing hard, I finally gathered the courage to look at Avalon. “Thank you for everything.”

  His brows furrowed, and he tilted his head. “You have nothing to thank me for, Alexandria.”

  “No, I do.” Drawing in a deep breath, I let go. “Thank you for allowing me to come back into your life so openly after losing me. Thank you for not judging me for being engaged to a man who ended up being a stranger.” I motioned to Cam. “Thank you for giving me a horse while I was here. I’ve always wanted one. And finally …” Tears threatened to spill over once again. “Thank you for being so amazing about my grandmother. Please know that I don’t blame you, at all. This is Mordred and Lancer’s sin, not yours, so please don’t carry it.” I sniffed. “You’re such an amazing man, and I’m so grateful to know you, but I really wish that I could remember how to love you.”

  Avalon’s eyes scanned my face, his own gaze darkening with his secret desires. He shoved his hands in his pockets, listening intently.

  “It hurts me to know that you look at me and see what we had. Arthur, I wish I could remember, but believe me when I say, my soul knows who you are.” I reached out to him, placing my hands on his chest. “I know you, I recognize you, but my mind …” Squeezing my eyes shut, I pressed my head against his jacket. “You feel like home, but I can’t remember like you do.”

  Strong arms enveloped me, and he stroked his fingers through my hair. “I know your soul knows who I am. I can feel that pull from you. And I know it must be frustrating not to remember our relationship.” He pressed a kiss to my temple. “You must know that I love you so much, Alexandria. And I will wait for as long as it takes for you to either remember or to fall in love with me again.”

  He smells so good.

  “I will admit, I love that you are calling me Arthur again.” He leaned back and flashed a grin.

  Rolling my eyes, I smirked back. “Well, it seems a bit impersonal to call you by your title.”

  He laughed a melodic, rumbling tone that caused my chest to ache. “Come on, we should go back inside for lunch.”

  We turned to leave the stables, giving each horse one last pat, and stepped back into the colder weather. Avalon kept his arm around me, and I didn’t mind. In fact, I liked it.

  A sudden memory stopped me in my tracks.

  Fragments of anger and yelling mixing with lust and unspoken truths came into view. Avalon rode Phoenix, and I sat astride Cam. We’d been arguing, and the fire in his gaze, holding my chin as our horses danced beneath us shocked me.

  I gasped, and he leveled his gaze on me. “Are you all right?”

  Holding my hand up, I focused intently on the scene unfolding. Suddenly, the horses were gone, and I’d backed him up against the desk in his library. Legend loomed in the background, serving as a silent observer.

  And then he kissed me.

  Our first kiss.

  I remember now.

  A soft moan escaped my lips while the memory faded, and I stumbled back a few steps.

  “Alexandria, what is it?” Avalon frowned, holding me steady.

  Eyes wide, I looked up at him. “I saw it.”

  “Saw what?” He gripped both of my shoulders. “You saw what, Alexandria?”

  The words stuck in my throat, too good to be true, but I forced them out. “You and I were out riding. It was the summer, I think. We were arguing.”

  “Yes, yes, we did. That happened.” Avalon’s gray eyes lit up with hope. “What else? What else did you remember?”

  Every bone in my body shook at the revelation.

  “In your office, against your desk, you kissed me.”

  His head lowered, and his eyes closed. For a moment, I wasn’t sure what he was doing, but then, as he focused on me again, I saw the tears in his eyes.

  “Yes,” he whispered, carding fingers through my hair. “That day, we fought. And then we kissed for the first time.”

  Silently thanking God, I nodded. “I remember that.”

  Avalon struggled with his emotions, so raw and unhinged at this moment. I knew what he wanted to do. He wanted to kiss me again.

  “Arthur …”

  A noise caught in his chest, and his grip tightened on my shoulders. “Please forgive me. I just … I …”

  His uncertainty gave way to my new resolve. In that
memory, so many emotions surged through my body, but three remained.

  Passion.

  Anger.

  Desire.

  Once again, I stepped up to Avalon and wrapped my hands around the nape of his neck and pulled him down into a kiss. Only this time, I kissed him with newfound understanding.

  I kissed him the way I used to. And as he moaned into my mouth, I knew he sensed the change. A very small part of me had returned.

  NINETEEN

  Avalon

  She remembered our first kiss.

  Elation swam through my veins knowing that a piece of our past fell back in place. This was good, better than good—great! If she could slowly remember bits and pieces, then eventually, she’d have the entire puzzle put back in place.

  I longed to take her in my arms and kiss her right then and there, but I held back, unsure as to how this news would settle with her.

  And then she kissed me.

  Holy—she was kissing me!

  There wasn’t any hesitation or awkwardness, and suddenly, the woman in my arms came back to me. A low moan escaped me at the familiarity of her kisses and being unafraid to show me all the passion and emotion inside her.

  “Alexandria,” I breathed out between kisses and cupped her face in my hands. “I missed this.”

  Not allowing her to reply, I took control, gathering her closer to me and pressing our bodies flush against each other. Everything about her surrounded me, suffocated me, and I didn’t care. For one moment, she remembered who I was to her. I didn’t even care that her memory was one of us fighting.

  A memory of any nature meant more to me than life.

  It was her road back to me.

  She tasted so sweet, and I needed more, but I didn’t want to push her too far.

  “Arthur.” She gasped, coming up for air; her eyes glazed and heavy-lidded.

  My own chest rose and fell rapidly, matching the vigor we both put into that electric kiss. “Yes?”