All of Me (Heart of Stone Book 11)

by K. M. Scott

  More than anything, I wanted to get the chance to do everything we always thought we had so much time for before tonight.

  “Dad, is there any change?”

  Turning to look toward the doorway, I saw the three kids standing there, each of them with their eyes full of hope. I hated dashing that hope, but I couldn’t lie to them. They weren’t babies anymore.

  “The doctor came in a few minutes ago. He’s ruled out pneumonia, thankfully. He’s hoping the MRI will give him more details and help him locate what the problem is,” I said as upbeat as I could possibly muster.

  They stood silently staring at Nina for a long moment, like each one needed to find a place inside themselves to safeguard that hope so they didn’t lose it. I knew just how they felt. It had only been a few hours since I found her on the stair landing, and I’d already felt moments when I began to lose hope.

  Ethan led the way, followed by his sisters, and the three of them sat down around her bed. With a smile, he looked down at her and then at me. “You know, Mom would tell us we’re worrying for nothing. We’ve all heard her say that a million times in our lives.”

  He looked over at Tressa and said, “Remember that time Diana was sick and she took us ice skating?”

  She nodded and turned to face me. “You and Mom were up all night with her, but Mom came to my room and said we needed to go out. She took me by the hand and led me to Ethan’s room and told him the same thing. Then she put our hats and coats and gloves on, even though we didn’t understand what was going on. All we knew was Mom said we had to go out, so out we were going.”

  “She knew we were scared,” Ethan explained. “That was her way of letting us know everything would be okay. We spent the day ice skating, and every time we got down, she reminded us that Diana was going to be fine and that you wouldn’t let anything happen to her. Because of her, we didn’t worry all day.”

  I remembered that day well. We’d spent the night concerned over Diana as her fever inched higher and higher. By morning, we’d gotten only a few minutes sleep between the two of us, but Nina insisted on making sure Ethan and Tressa knew things would be okay.

  “You had no idea how worried she was. She was scared to death about what would happen with Diana, but she had three children and she wanted to take care of all of them,” I said as I looked down at Nina.

  Diana wrapped her arms around my shoulders and hugged me from behind. “She’s going to be okay, Daddy. Mommy might look sweet, but you know she’s tough.”

  “Piling three kids into car seats and driving them into the city in a snowstorm tough,” Ethan said with a chuckle. “Remember how she used to do that? I never knew she hated driving all those times.”

  Tressa’s face lit up. “I used to love when she’d do that! She always made sure Diana got the middle because you and I would fight the whole way down if she put us next to one another.”

  “You got to sit behind her, and I got to sit behind the passenger seat,” Ethan said. “Diana, you always got the best seat.”

  His sister came around me and nodded. “I always loved when she’d look up at us in the rear view mirror and say, ‘Where are we going?’ and we’d squeal, ‘To see Daddy!’”

  As they continued to relive memories of how much they loved what their mother did for them growing up, I couldn’t help think how unfair those years were for her. She did so much more with them than I did. So much more for them than I. While I went to work at my office sometimes six days a week, Nina shouldered all the responsibility three children entailed.

  I walked into the dark house and disappointment settled in that once again this week, Nina hadn’t waited up for me. Not that I could blame her. After dealing with dinner, homework, and getting three kids into bed, she was usually exhausted by nine o’clock. Asking her to stay awake until nearly midnight seemed unfair.

  Heading into the kitchen, I looked for leftovers from the dinner the rest of my family ate together and found a pan covered in aluminum foil. I took a deep breath and knew what hid beneath it. Pot roast. Nina liked to use a lot of garlic when she made any kind of beef, and the heady scent filled my nose.

  A sound behind me made me turn around, and I saw her standing there in her black shorts and pink T-shirt she wore to bed. I’d always loved how cute she looked in them. I considered telling her that, but the serious expression she wore warned against it.

  I only hoped something had happened around the house and this wouldn’t be yet another late night fight about my work schedule.

  “Did I wake you up?” I asked as I cut off a piece of the roast and lifted it to my mouth. “I’m sorry if I did. I thought I was being quiet tonight.”

  When she didn’t immediately answer, I looked over at her and saw her practically seething at me. This night would be like other nights.

  Fuck.

  Nina had never had an emotion that didn’t show itself immediately. She had no poker face to speak of, so I never had to wonder what she was feeling. Generally, I liked that. Loved it would be more correct.

  At that moment, though, I didn’t want to fight with her again about the same thing we’d fought about three nights this week already. Every time, it ended up making things worse. We didn’t clear the air. We made it more difficult for each other to understand one another. She complained, and I closed myself off. I tried to explain, and she asked questions I had no answers for.

  We’d come to an impasse, but I knew it wouldn’t last forever. We’d spent over ten years together, so like every other problem that came up, we’d handle this one. For Nina and me, nothing was ever insurmountable. We loved each other too much.

  “I wasn’t asleep, Tristan. I waited up for you.”

  I knew that tone in her voice. Low and flat, it told anyone who paid attention that she was angry.

  Angry at me.

  No matter how many times I experienced that tone, I never knew how to effectively maneuver around it. When she sounded like that, there was never a question offered to answer or a chance to lighten things up.

  That tone left me no choices, so I did what I always did. I said nothing.

  Which meant the argument would begin right now.

  “Since you don’t seem to want to talk, let me,” she began as she walked toward where I stood next to the stove. “I think we’ve discussed our problem long enough. It’s time to do something about it.”

  Now she didn’t sound flat but resolute and determined. That I could work with.

  So I answered, “I agree. Discussing it hasn’t gotten us anywhere. What do you propose?”

  I knew I sounded more like CEO Tristan than the man who loved her, so I quickly added with a smile, “I mean, what do you think we should do?”

  She didn’t return my smile with one of hers that never failed to brighten my day. Instead, she took a deep breath and after letting it out in a heavy sigh said, “I’ve decided I’m going to take the kids and go away for a while.”

  Her words sounded so soft and thoughtful, but by the time they registered in my brain, they felt like a sledgehammer to my chest. I struggled to accept what they meant for a long moment as she stood looking at me with not a hint of the panic that began to set into my mind.

  All I could get out was a single word that left my mouth in pieces. “Wh-wh-what?”

  “I think it would be best for the situation. You’re rarely ever here to see the kids anyway, so it isn’t like that would change with us being away.”

  The way she said that was so matter of fact. The worst part of it was that she wasn’t wrong. That’s what we argued about night after night when I came home long after the kids were in bed asleep. I worked long hours, and she wanted me to change. That was the entirety of the fight between us.

  But that didn’t mean I wanted to live alone without her and our children, for fuck’s sake!

  Fully recovered from the shock of what she’d said, I shook my head. “No. I don’t want that.”

  Nina raised her eyebrows and smiled.
“You don’t want that? You don’t know what you want, Tristan, except you want me to continue to accept the fact that you leave early in the morning and don’t get home until midnight or later. You never see your children, and they’ve begun to notice that. I don’t want to lie to them anymore, so I’m going to go away with them for a while. I won’t be keeping where we go a secret. You can come see them any time you want. We’ll be in one of your hotels, after all. I just won’t tell them you might come because I don’t want to disappoint them.”

  One of my hotels. The way she said that made it seem like I worked long hours only for myself.

  “Jesus, Nina. You’re standing here telling me I’m losing my family, and you smile when you say it. I don’t want you or the kids to leave. Doesn’t that seem like an exaggerated response to my working too many hours?”

  “Do you know that’s the first time you’ve admitted you’re working too much?” she asked with sadness in every word. “I’ve been trying to get through to you for nearly a year, and tonight you finally admitted the truth only after I told you I’m leaving and taking the kids. What does that tell you, Tristan?”

  Reaching out for her, I grabbed her hand like something inside me said if I didn’t, she might slip away for good at that moment. “It tells me I’ve been wrong. I can’t believe you’d think about leaving me. I love you, Nina. Christ, you and the kids are my entire world. I can’t imagine life without you.”

  Tears welled in her eyes, but she controlled her emotions. “You don’t have to imagine it. You’re already living that life right now.”

  Even as I held her hand in mine, I felt her drifting away. I couldn’t let that happen. I had to do something to stop it.

  “I know I’ve been working too much. Stone Worldwide is a multinational company that requires a lot of time to run it.”

  No. I couldn’t go down that route this time. I’d used that excuse every time before, and look where it had gotten us. My wife, the only woman I’d ever loved, had decided to leave me with our kids. She didn’t need to hear about how hard it was to run the damn company.

  “I’ll stop. I’ll cut back. Just tell me you won’t leave,” I said, happy to beg if it meant I didn’t lose the woman I loved and my children.

  She looked up at me and shook her head. “It’s not just the work, is it?”

  Confused, I opened my mouth to ask what she meant but couldn’t get a word out. If it wasn’t that I was working too much, what was she talking about?

  Then instead of giving me a chance to answer her question or telling me what she meant, she turned to leave. “I’m tired. I don’t want to do this tonight. I’m going to bed.”

  I still held her hand as she moved to step away, and she looked back at me in confusion when I didn’t let go. After trying unsuccessfully to tug her hand away from my hold, she sighed. “Tristan, I want to go to sleep. I’m tired. It’s been a long day. Ethan got into trouble, and I had to go to the school. Then all three of them fought me over doing their homework. I’m tired, so let me go. We can talk about this some other time.”

  “I need to know what you meant by what you said.”

  “That I’m tired. It’s been a long day,” she said, sighing again.

  That’s all she seemed to do lately was sigh. Was I the one to blame for that?

  “Not that. I want to know what you meant when you said the problem isn’t just that I’m working too much. What did you mean?”

  For a moment, she seemed to weigh whether or not she wanted to do this now in the middle of the night with the two of us standing there next to cold pot roast and barely hanging onto one another. To me, there wasn’t a better time to lay our cards on the table, and since she seemed to think there was another problem than the one I thought I’d caused, I wanted to know what it was.

  But I honestly had no idea what would come out of her mouth a few seconds later.

  “Tristan, I’m tired. Please, let’s do this another time,” she said with a pleading look in her blue eyes that made me even more curious what she’d meant just a minute before.

  “You said it wasn’t just the work, Nina. If it’s something else, then tell me. I can’t fix what I’ve done wrong if I don’t know what it is.”

  I watched as pain filled her eyes and then her expression, her mouth turning down into a frown that made my chest ache. Like what she had to say hurt her, she fought back tears and swallowed hard before finally saying what was on her mind.

  “We’ve been married for over ten years, Tristan. I know you as well as I know myself. I’m not a fool. I know what’s been going on.”

  Still, I had no idea what she meant.

  “What are you talking about? If it’s not my working too much, what is making you so unhappy that you want to leave me and take our kids with you?”

  Then, she said, her voice quivering, “You think I don’t know that you aren’t working all those hours? You think I haven’t noticed things in the past few months? I realize I’m not some bigwig in the business world like you or some important executive like the ones you work with day in and day out, but I’m not stupid, Tristan. I know.”

  “Know what? Just tell me what I did so I can apologize and then fix it, Nina,” I said in exasperation, still unsure what the hell we were talking about.

  Was it the fact that I missed the kids’ play a few weeks ago? I honestly had tried to get to it. That night, I’d left work early but I hit traffic from an accident that shut down the entire highway. Or was it that I’d missed Jordan and Gage’s party last month? I had no choice. She knew that. The deal with CincComm had to be completed that day, and even knowing that, I got home as early as I could.

  It did nothing good to run through the laundry list of things I’d screwed up in the past few months. She just needed to tell me what was making her so unhappy, and then I’d be able to fix things.

  I always had before, so why not now?

  Reaching out, I took hold of her other hand and smiled. “Nina, I love you. Just tell me what’s going on and I’ll fix it.”

  A tear rolled down her cheek, and then she lowered her head. “Work doesn’t make a man not want to be with his wife, does it?” she said in a sad voice.

  Chapter Twelve

  Tristan

  What did she mean by that? I adored every minute I got to spend with Nina. The fact that I worked so much was the only reason we didn’t get to be with each other more.

  “I love being with you. I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  She lifted her head and yanked her right hand from my hold to wipe the tears from her cheek. “You’re not stupid, Tristan, but you clearly need me to spell it out for you, so I will. I know there’s someone else. Another woman. Feel better about having me say it so you didn’t have to? Because I don’t.”

  My mouth dropped open as her accusation filtered its way to the center of my brain. Another woman? That’s what she thought kept me away from my home and her and our kids for so many hours a day?

  I stood there staring at her in utter shock, crushed at what she thought I could do to us. I hadn’t thought of a single woman in any way like I did for her since that first night we met outside the art gallery. There was no one but her for me. How could she think I’d ever do that to her?

  Shaking my head, I tried to find the words I needed to say to convince her how wrong she was. I studied her face to see if she had really said that she thought I’d been cheating on her. How could she?

  “I don’t know what gave you that idea, but you’re wrong. I would never do that to you, Nina. To us,” I finally answered.

  But that didn’t persuade her.

  Nina shrugged and stepped back away from me, pulling her other hand from my hold. “You wouldn’t be the first man to do it. Life isn’t so exciting when you have a wife and three kids. When you started staying in the city and sleeping at the penthouse over the winter, I suspected something was going on.”

  Sleeping at the penthouse? I thought back to the
last time I’d even been there. I hadn’t done that since January. That was five months ago.

  “I stayed there a few nights because of the weather, and then a few times you drove in with the kids to see me. You know I was alone there. I haven’t been at that penthouse with a woman other than you in over a decade,” I explained, still stunned she believed I could betray her and everything we’d built together with another woman.

  She shrugged again, like nothing I could say would make her see how wrong she was. “I’ve felt that you were distant when we made love starting months ago.”

  Jesus. She’d built this whole thing up in her mind already.

  “I’ve been working my ass off for the last year. Stone Worldwide has been diversifying. You know that. I would never turn my back on you and the kids with someone else. Never. Do you understand me, Nina? Never.”

  I tried to pull her to me, hating the distance between us that felt like it was growing with every moment I couldn’t prove to her there was no one I loved but her, but she pushed me away. So I continued, “There’s no one else. Just work. I swear, Nina. The company has needed me more than I ever planned, but I’ll fix that.”

  Her eyes opened wide, and she screamed, “I don’t want to hear about Stone Worldwide anymore, Tristan! This branch of your precious Stone Worldwide is crumbling to fucking pieces! Do you understand that?”

  Stunned by her anger, I grabbed her by the shoulders and held her in front of me so she’d listen and stop fighting me. “Stop yelling. The kids are going to hear you. We don’t need them knowing about this.”

  Her body tensed against my hold, and she tried to push away from me. I wouldn’t let her go, though. I couldn’t. I didn’t know how we’d gotten to this point, but I had a feeling if I didn’t stop her now, I’d lose her forever tonight.

  “Do you honestly believe our children don’t think something’s wrong, Tristan?” she asked, her eyes pleading with me to see the truth I’d either been too blind to see or chose to ignore for far too long.