Black and the Ugliest

by T. Styles

  He stared at me for a few seconds. “The phone.” He extended his hand.

  “What?”

  “The burner.” He stepped closer. “Give it to me.”

  “Oh.” I handed it to him although I didn’t want to. Origianlly the plan was to delete Wayne’s number but now he had it before I could.

  “I just found out we may be able to leave in two days.” He tucked the phone in his pocket. “You think you can stand being around me that long?”

  “Yeah, I mean, what can happen in a few days?”

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  LOGAN

  Logan sat on the porch at his girlfriend’s house with her while eating Jack In The Box cheeseburgers and fries as if everything was sweet. When she was done she looked over at him and said, “Can I have your fries too? Mine gone.”

  He smiled. “You can have anything you want.”

  Christy grinned and kissed his cheek. “Nah, I don’t want ‘em. Just wanted to see if you would give ‘em to me. But I’ma give you something in a second.” She covered her mouth and laughed. “Just as soon as my dad goes to sleep.”

  “Why you do that?” He asked placing the rest of his burger in his bag.

  “Do what?”

  “Cover your smile?”

  She shrugged. “Didn’t know I was doing it I guess.”

  “Yeah, you do,” he paused. “A lot too.” He took a deep breath. “My mother does it sometimes too but…you know what, fuck that bitch.”

  “Whoa.”

  “That’s just how I feel about her right now.” He clutched his hands together and sighed while looking at the block. “How you just gonna leave your kids and husband in a hospital to die? It’s like she couldn’t wait to be in the streets or something.”

  Christy sighed. “I’m not gonna fake like I like your mother ‘cause you know we stay going at it because she doesn’t want us together. But I know for a fact your mother loves you.”

  He looked at her for a moment. “Is that why you pressed me out to come back? ‘Cause you love my moms so much?”

  “Nah.” She paused. “I just wanted you with me. I know that’s fucked up but even still I know your mother…” Suddenly her attention was drawn up the block. “Hold up, ain’t that your mother’s friend?” Christy pointed in the direction she was gazing.

  The moment Logan saw Adrian stomping down the street wearing a black bob, blue jeans and a tight white t-shirt he knew it wouldn’t be an ordinary day. When he was up on him he said, “Get up, boy.” Adrian paused. “You coming with me.”

  Logan rolled his eyes. It wasn’t in his makeup to be disrespectful to his mother’s friends but he didn’t come that far to leave Christy and go back to Maryland either. Plus he didn’t want to look dumb in front of his girl. “I’m not going nowhere.”

  Adrian covered his heart with one hand and the other with his mouth. “What you just say?” He asked through his fingertips.

  “I said I’m not goin’ nowhere.”

  Adrian dropped his hands and nodded slowly. “I’m gonna give you an opportunity to take that back and come with me now. But you’ll only get one chance.”

  Logan looked at Christy and back at Adrian. “I’m not going anywhere.”

  Adrian smiled, turned around and walked slowly up the block with Logan watching him every step of the way.

  “What you think he gonna do?” Christy asked.

  “I don’t know.” He shrugged as he continued to eye him. “Maybe tell my moms if he can find her.” He pulled her to him and kissed her lips. “What do I care? I’m not leaving you.”

  “I don’t know about this,” she swallowed the lump in her throat. “The look in his eyes seemed scary to me.”

  “I don’t care what he does.” He paused. “I’m staying here.”

  ****

  PARADE

  It was pitch black in the bedroom of the house we were staying in and I had a bad dream. I was so scared that had Am’rak been in the bed with me I would’ve grabbed him for protection. But he hadn’t said two words to me since he took the phone after I got off it with Wayne. And so I was left alone, wondering if he would hurt me for whatever reason.

  Anyway, I dreamt that Jay had died and had been reincarnated into a new family. At first I wasn’t worried that he died because at least he was alive. I even followed him in my dream but when I walked up to him he didn’t recognize our kids or me. It was so weird the pillow was wet because obviously I had been crying.

  Sitting up in the room, I was surprised when I saw a black cell phone on the dresser across from the bed. I walked toward it, turned the lamp on and made a call.

  “Wayne, it’s me, did you find Logan?” I whispered, looking at the closed door to be sure Am’rak wasn’t coming.

  “Yes, girl. You know I did.”

  I wiped my hand down my face in relief. “He’s with her right?”

  “Chile, what you think?”

  I tried my best not to cry but nothing was going right in my life. With my world being a disaster. It was like I was reverted back to the Quincy Manor days and I wondered why. What part of the lessons I learned did I actually fail and have to retake? I didn’t understand.

  “Don’t worry, Parade. I’m going to get him back. Trust me.”

  “He won’t leave with anybody you send.”

  “Oh, baby, he won’t have a choice.” He paused. “Listen, I want you to know that I’m handling everything I can on this end. And I want you to know that I’m tough enough for it too, which is why I left L.A. to be with you. But all I want is for you to meet me half way, get that money from that nigga and come home. As soon as—”

  I heard bumping outside the room that caused me to put the phone down. When it seemed like the coast was clear I placed it back against my ear. “Wayne, I gotta call you back.”

  “Make sure you do,” he said. “Because now you have me worried.”

  “I will. Just please bring Logan back.”

  I ended the call, erased the number out of the phone and walked out the room. The lights were all out in the house. For some reason Am’rak liked to keep it dark and that always made me uneasy. Who was he hiding from now? Luckily there was a small night light on next to the far corner of the living room and I could see two men standing over another who was moaning quietly on the floor. The two men standing up were talking to each other and when the man on the floor tried to move one of them kicked him in the face.

  I covered my mouth.

  I almost cried out when a hand came down over my lips. Within seconds I was dragged back into the mostly dark bedroom only to see Am’rak looking at me. “Tomorrow I can take you home. The nightmare is over.”

  I exhaled, placed my hand on my chest and flopped down on the edge of the bed. It wasn’t until that moment that I realized how badly I was scared about everything, even my own shadow. “Thank…thank you.”

  He sat next to me. “You probably never wanna see me again do you?”

  I looked up at him and thought about the ninety grand I still needed. Thanks to the moonlight coming inside I was able to see some of his features. “I don’t know what I want right now.” My thoughts moved to what Wayne said about not saying a lot and I bit my tongue despite wanting to know what was happening downstairs.

  “What you saw was necessary.” He said softly. “And I know all of this has been hard for you but to be honest I’m happy I had this chance to get to know you. This time together put you in a new light for me. And if you never want to see me again, I just want you to know I’m here.”

  The door opened and a man dressed in a black hoodie and black sweatpants walked into the room. “We ready for you.”

  Am’rak looked down at me. “Chill in here until I come back.” He placed his hand on the side of my face. “It’s almost over.” He winked and walked out with the dude.

  ****

  LOGAN

  Under Christy’s bed, Logan looked at the bedroom door waiting for her to come back. She had been gone for
three hours and although he wanted to be with her he wondered how much longer would he have to fake like he wasn’t tired.

  He was about to say fuck it and slide out when she entered.

  Carrying a plate of mac and cheese, fried chicken and biscuits, he slid from up under the bed to eat. Sitting on the edge of her mattress he took the plate and kissed her. “Thanks, bae.”

  “Sorry it took so long.” She sighed. “My father all of a sudden wanted to talk about school and shit. It’s like he knows something is up. He never, ever talks about my life.”

  Logan took a large bite of chicken. “Yeah, well your mother knows how to cook.”

  She shrugged. “That was my dad actually.” She paused. “My mother she’s, well, she’s hardly ever here. I will give my father that much. He cares enough to check on me.”

  He looked into her eyes. “I get that. My mother always at the shop too and then wonders why I don’t fuck with her. It’s like I don’t know who she is anymore. All she wants to do is talk about work and how much she’s sacrificing and now look.” He paused. “We don’t have none of that shit. No house or nothing. I’m out here sleeping under my girl’s bed and she—”

  Suddenly loud music sounded outside of Christy’s house. Noisy and ratchet trap music, way too much for the quiet 10:00 PM hour of the neighborhood, rocked both of them to the core. Horrified, Christy leapt up and looked out the window. “What is…what’s going on?” She asked.

  Logan sat the plate on the bed and walked over to the window. He peeked out and what he saw, caused his stomach to churn. Adrian was standing on top of a car dancing in little tight blue jean shorts and a white t-shirt that was tied up in the back. Two of his equally feminine male friends had their hands on the car and asses in the direction of Christy’s house as they popped their fat cheeks.

  “Wait, ain’t that your—”

  “I gotta go.” He lifted the window and climbed out as quickly as he could, scratching his knees in the process.

  “Please don’t leave,” she said placing her hand on his. “You all I have.”

  He grabbed the back of her head, kissed her lips and smiled. “I promise. I’ll be back soon.”

  He jumped down from the window and walked up to Adrian. Without saying anything he opened the back door and slid inside the car. Adrian got in the driver’s seat and his friends piled in the right and left side of him before pulling off.

  Adrian looked at Logan from the rearview mirror. “I know you angry but your mother is loved. And that makes you loved too.”

  He rolled his eyes. “Yeah, whatever,” he said, trying to hide the smile creeping up on his face.

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  PARADE

  I had just finished taking the meatloaf out of the oven when I heard the front door open. Landon and Ella were already at the table and both were happy to see me. But it was Logan who I was concerned about and I had a feeling it was him walking in the front door.

  When I walked toward it and saw Wayne behind my son I was right and breathed a sigh of relief. Logan’s arms were crossed tightly across his chest and his expression was away from me.

  “Logan,” I said softly. “I’m glad you’re back.”

  “I just picked him up from the airport,” Wayne said. “I’m gonna leave you to it. Danny’s on the phone and we…well, let’s just say it ain’t good. We’ll talk later though.”

  Before he walked out I ran up to him and hugged him tightly. Wayne hugged me back and left. I swear I don’t know what I would do without him and I was never trying to find out.

  When the door was closed I walked over to Logan. “Hungry?”

  He rolled his eyes and stomped into the kitchen where he hugged his little sister and dapped up his brother. Next he sat down at the table and looked at me. “You got me here now what?” He looked around. “And where Grams?”

  “She been staying by the hospital,” Landon said. “To keep an eye on Pops.”

  Logan nodded.

  I sat down at the table and looked at my children. “I know I haven’t been the mother I’m supposed to be. But I promise you all this,” I looked at them. “I will get us out of this house and back into our home.”

  “How though?” Logan snapped. “I mean, you got us in Maryland and now you saying you can put us back into the house? How when you broke as fuck?”

  “Just like I got that money you stole from me, is the same way I’m gonna make it happen.”

  He sighed. “Yeah, whatever.”

  “Son, there are a lot of things you don’t know about me. And there are even more things that I’m willing to do to keep my family together. Just know that if I say we will be back in L.A. that’s exactly what I mean. Just please, please don’t run away again.”

  “So what you gonna do?” Logan continued. “Whore yourself out?”

  He was so close to the truth I rose up and slapped him.

  He stared at me and ran to his room. It was the first time I’d ever hit one of my kids. “Logan!” I yelled. “I’m sorry!”

  I walked toward the door but Landon grabbed my hand, stopping me. “I’ll keep an eye on him, ma.” He said softly. “Just, just do what you say you gonna do. Please.”

  I hugged him and then touched Ella’s face. Grabbing my purse I looked back at Landon and said, “Make sure everyone eats.”

  “Where you going, mama?” She asked me.

  “To work on getting us out of here.” I said with certainty. “But first I’m gonna go see your father. It’s time.”

  ****

  MELISSA

  Melissa and Quinn sat in Jay’s room laughing about how Jay and Quinn met in high school, long before Sky came into the picture and long before he met Parade. Quinn was playing in P.E. class with her boyfriend when Jay came out of nowhere and hit the dude in the jaw and walked out. There were no reasons given and everybody wondered why he embarrassed him so badly in front of his girl.

  For weeks Quinn would approach Jay and ask why he assaulted her boyfriend who was too afraid to be with her anymore after the hit, thinking she was the reason. And each time she would ask, Jay would smile at her and walk away. It wasn’t until she was about to leave to stay with her aunt in Florida that he finally confessed he was interested.

  For one year they had a crazy romance, which ended when she went away for vacation to visit her family. Just like that, Jay, who bores easily, moved on. And when she returned he was with Sky and she never forgave herself for losing her one true love. And now that she had a chance to be back with him that’s exactly what she intended on doing.

  “I really miss the older days,” Melissa said as she touched Jay’s hand. He still hadn’t regained consciousness since his coma.

  “I’m gonna let Jay know how much you’ve been here for him.”

  “You think he’ll care?” Melissa asked walking up to her. “I mean, do you think he’ll really consider being with me? I heard he was in love and—”

  “Why wouldn’t he?” She paused. “Parade hasn’t been here since he was sent. She doesn’t care about her husband. Or what happens to him.”

  “Whatever is happening between us is our business,” Parade said entering the room. Melissa stood up and turned around to face Parade who was glaring at both women. “Who the fuck is this bitch, Melissa? And what is she doing around my husband?”

  “I’m a friend,” Quinn said.

  “Well my husband can’t consent to new friends in this state,” Parade moved closer to her. “And since I’m his wife, I don’t want no side bitches keeping time with what’s mine.” She paused. “Now get the fuck out.”

  Quinn swallowed the lump in her throat. In her mind she had plans to fight Parade tooth and nail if she ever laid eyes on her but now something about Parade’s coldness caused her to shiver. And had she jumped, she would’ve gotten a taste of Parade’s wreck game from back in the day.

  “I’ll talk to you later, Melissa,” Quinn said touching her hand before leaving.

  “Get
the fuck out, Melissa,” Parade said. “I wanna be alone with my husband.”

  “So now you wanna show up and boss me around?”

  “Please,” Parade said between heavy breaths. “Don’t make me say it again ‘cause it won’t come out right.”

  Melissa looked at her and then Jay. “It don’t make no difference. He ain’t get up for his mama, he definitely not gonna get up for you. So I won’t miss a thing.” She snatched her purse and stormed out.

  When they were alone Parade closed the door and walked up to the bed. Placing a hand on his head she took a deep breath. “Jay, it was hard for me to come here. It was hard because I, I know this my fault. And I want you to know that I’m gonna make things right.” Tears rolled down her face and she took three quick breaths.

  “Now I need you to do two things for me,” she continued. “One is wake up because I…because I can’t raise our family on my own right now. I’m not ready, Jay. And I’m trying to be ready but I’m not. So if you can hear my voice, if you can feel me its time to wake up, King. Please.” She took another deep breath. “And when you’re up I need you to forgive me for what I’ve done. You made some mistakes that caused us to lose our home and now I’m making more to put it back together again.” She leaned down and kissed him. “I love you.”

  She walked toward the door, looked back once and walked out before calling Am’rak.

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  PARADE

  I walked into the motel room and tossed shopping bags on the bed. I had everything inside of them to secure the bag from Am’rak. There was no more beating around the bush with me. I had to go hard. I had to ask for what I wanted because time was running out. I needed to—

  KNOCK. KNOCK. KNOCK.

  Slowly I walked to the door and looked out the peephole. The person on the other side I loved but didn’t want to see at the moment. But he deserved more respect from me so I put my big girl panties on and opened the door.