Micah Clarke

by Arthur Conan Doyle

  Chapter XVIII. Of Master Stephen Timewell, Mayor of Taunton

  Within the town-hall all was bustle and turmoil. At one side behind alow table covered with green baize sat two scriveners with great rollsof paper in front of them. A long line of citizens passed slowly beforethem, each in turn putting down a roll or bag of coins which was dulynoted by the receivers. A square iron-bound chest stood by their side,into which the money was thrown, and we noted as we passed that it washalf full of gold pieces. We could not but mark that many of the giverswere men whose threadbare doublets and pinched faces showed that thewealth which they were dashing down so readily must have been hoarded upfor such a purpose, at the cost of scanty fare and hard living. Most ofthem accompanied their gift by a few words of prayer, or by some pithytext anent the treasure which rusteth not, or the lending to the Lord.The town clerk stood by the table giving forth the vouchers for eachsum, and the constant clack of his tongue filled the hall, as he readaloud the names and amounts, with his own remarks between.

  'Abraham Willis,' he shouted as we entered; 'put him down twenty-sixpounds and ten shillings. You shall receive ten per centum upon thisearth, Master Willis, and I warrant that it shall not be forgottenhereafter. John Standish, two pounds. William Simons, two guineas.Stand-fast Healing, forty-five pounds. That is a rare blow which youhave struck into the ribs of Prelacy, good Master Healing. SolomonWarren, five guineas. James White, five shillings--the widow's mite,James! Thomas Bakewell, ten pounds. Nay, Master Bakewell, surely out ofthree farms on the banks of Tone, and grazing land in the fattest partof Athelney, you can spare more than this for the good cause. We shalldoubtless see you again. Alderman Smithson, ninety pounds. Aha! There isa slap for the scarlet woman! A few more such and her throne shall be aducking-stool. We shall break her down, worthy Master Smithson, even asJehu, the son of Nimshi, broke down the house of Baal.' So he babbled onwith praise, precept, and rebuke, though the grave and solemn burgherstook little notice of his empty clamour.

  At the other side of the hall were several long wooden drinking-troughs,which were used for the storing of pikes and scythes. Special messengersand tithing-men had been sent out to scour the country for arms, who,as they returned, placed their prizes here under the care of thearmourer-general. Besides the common weapons of the peasants there was apuncheon half full of pistols and petronels, together with a good numberof muskets, screw-guns, snaphances, birding-pieces, and carbines, witha dozen bell-mouthed brass blunderbusses, and a few old-fashionedwall-pieces, such as sakers and culverins taken from the manor-houses ofthe county. From the walls and the lumber-rooms of these old dwellingsmany other arms had been brought to light which were doubtless esteemedas things of price by our forefathers, but which would seem strange toyour eyes in these days, when a musket may be fired once in every twominutes, and will carry a ball to a distance of four hundred paces.There were halberds, battle-axes, morning stars, brown bills, maces, andancient coats of chain mail, which might even now save a man from swordstroke or pike thrust.

  In the midst of the coming and the going stood Master Timewell, theMayor, ordering all things like a skilful and provident commander. Icould understand the trust and love which his townsmen had for him, asI watched him labouring with all the wisdom of an old man and theblithesomeness of a young one. He was hard at work as we approached intrying the lock of a falconet; but perceiving us, he came forward andsaluted us with much kindliness.

  'I have heard much of ye,' said he; 'how ye caused the faithful togather to a head, and so beat off the horsemen of the usurper. It willnot be the last time, I trust, that ye shall see their backs. I hear,Colonel Saxon, that ye have seen much service abroad.'

  'I have been the humble tool of Providence in much good work,'said Saxon, with a bow. 'I have fought with the Swedes against theBrandenburgers, and again with the Brandenburgers against the Swedes, mytime and conditions with the latter having been duly carried out. Ihave afterwards in the Bavarian service fought against Swedes andBrandenburgers combined, besides having undergone the great wars on theDanube against the Turk, and two campaigns with the Messieurs in thePalatinate, which latter might be better termed holiday-making thanfighting.'

  'A soldierly record in very truth,' cried the Mayor, stroking his whitebeard. 'I hear that you are also powerfully borne onwards in prayer andsong. You are, I perceive, one of the old breed of '44, Colonel--the menwho were in the saddle all day, and on their knees half the night. Whenshall we see the like of them again? A few such broken wrecks as I areleft, with the fire of our youth all burned out and nought left but theashes of lethargy and lukewarmness.'

  'Nay, nay,' said Saxon, 'your position and present business will scarcejump with the modesty of your words. But here are young men who willfind the fire if their elders bring the brains. This is Captain MicahClarke, and Captain Lockarby, and Captain the Honourable Sir GervasJerome, who have all come far to draw their swords for the downtroddenfaith.'

  'Taunton welcomes ye, young sirs,' said the Mayor, looking atrifle askance, as I thought, at the baronet, who had drawn out hispocket-mirror, and was engaged in the brushing of his eyebrows. 'I trustthat during your stay in this town ye will all four take up your abodewith me. 'Tis a homely roof and simple fare, but a soldier's wants arefew. And now, Colonel, I would fain have your advice as to these threedrakes, whether if rehooped they may be deemed fit for service; and alsoas to these demi-cannons, which were used in the old Parliamentary days,and may yet have a word to say in the people's cause.'

  The old soldier and the Puritan instantly plunged into a deepand learned disquisition upon the merits of wall-pieces, drakes,demi-culverins, sakers, minions, mortar-pieces, falcons, andpattereroes, concerning all which pieces of ordnance Saxon had strongopinions to offer, fortified by many personal hazards and experiences.He then dwelt upon the merits of fire-arrows and fire-pikes in theattack or defence of places of strength, and had finally begun todescant upon sconces, 'directis lateribus,' and upon works, semilunar,rectilineal, horizontal, or orbicular, with so many references to hisImperial Majesty's lines at Gran, that it seemed that his discoursewould never find an end. We slipped away at last, leaving him stilldiscussing the effects produced by the Austrian grenadoes upon aBavarian brigade of pikes at the battle of Ober-Graustock.

  'Curse me if I like accepting this old fellow's offer,' said Sir Gervas,in an undertone. 'I have heard of these Puritan households. Much graceto little sack, and texts flying about as hard and as jagged as flintstones. To bed at sundown, and a sermon ready if ye do but look kindlyat the waiting-wench or hum the refrain of a ditty.'

  'His home may be larger, but it could scarce be stricter than that of myown father,' I remarked.

  'I'll warrant that,' cried Reuben. 'When we have been a morris-dancing,or having a Saturday night game of "kiss-in-the-ring," or"parson-has-lost-his-coat," I have seen Ironside Joe stride past us, andcast a glance at us which hath frozen the smile upon our lips. I warrantthat he would have aided Colonel Pride to shoot the bears and hack downthe maypoles.'

  ''Twere fratricide for such a man to shoot a bear,' quoth Sir Gervas,'with all respect, friend Clarke, for your honoured progenitor.'

  'No more than for you to shoot at a popinjay,' I answered, laughing;'but as to the Mayor's offer, we can but go to meat with him now, andshould it prove irksome it will be easy for you to plead some excuse,and so get honourably quit of it. But bear in mind, Sir Gervas, thatsuch households are in very truth different to any with which you areacquainted, so curb your tongue or offence may come of it. Should I cry"hem!" or cough, it will be a sign to you that you had best beware.'

  'Agreed, young Solomon!' cried he. 'It is, indeed, well to have a pilotlike yourself who knows these godly waters. For my own part, I shouldnever know how near I was to the shoals. But our friends have finishedthe battle of Ober what's its name, and are coming towards us. I trust,worthy Mr. Mayor, that your difficulties have been resolved?'

  'They are, sir,' replied the Puritan. 'I have been much edified by
yourColonel's discourse, and I have little doubt that by serving under himye will profit much by his ripe experience.'

  'Very like, sir, very like,' said Sir Gervas carelessly.

  'But it is nigh one o'clock,' the Mayor continued, 'our frail fleshcries aloud for meat and drink. I beg that ye will do me the favour toaccompany me to my humble dwelling, where we shall find the householdboard already dressed.'

  With these words he led the way out of the hall and paced slowly downFore Street, the people falling back to right and to left as he passed,and raising their caps to do him reverence. Here and there, as hepointed out to us, arrangements had been made for barring the road withstrong chains to prevent any sudden rush of cavalry. In places, too, atthe corner of a house, a hole had been knocked in the masonry throughwhich peeped the dark muzzle of a carronade or wall-piece. Theseprecautions were the more necessary as several bodies of the RoyalHorse, besides the one which we had repulsed, were known to be withinthe Deane, and the town, deprived of its ramparts, was open to anincursion from any daring commander.

  The chief magistrate's house was a squat square-faced stone buildingwithin a court which opened on to East Street. The peaked oak door,spangled with broad iron nails, had a gloomy and surly aspect, butthe hall within was lightful and airy, with a bright polished cedarplanking, and high panelling of some dark-grained wood which gave fortha pleasant smell as of violets. A broad night of steps rose up from thefarther end of the hall, down which as we entered a young sweet-facedmaid came tripping, with an old dame behind her, who bore in her hands apile of fresh napery. At the sight of us the elder one retreated up thestairs again, whilst the younger came flying down three steps at atime, threw her arms round the old Mayor's neck, and kissed him fondly,looking hard into his face the while, as a mother gazes into that of achild with whom she fears that aught may have gone amiss.

  'Weary again, daddy, weary again,' she said, shaking her head anxiously,with a small white hand upon each of his shoulders. 'Indeed, and indeed,thy spirit is greater than thy strength.'

  'Nay, nay, lass,' said he, passing his hand fondly over her rich brownhair. The workman must toil until the hour of rest is rung. This,gentlemen, is my granddaughter Ruth, the sole relic of my family and thelight of mine old age. The whole grove hath been cut down, and only theoldest oak and the youngest sapling left. These cavaliers, little one,have come from afar to serve the cause, and they have done us the honourto accept of our poor hospitality.'

  'Ye are come in good time, gentlemen,' she answered, looking us straightin the eyes with a kindly smile as a sister might greet her brothers.'The household is gathered round the table and the meal is ready.'

  'But not more ready than we,' cried the stout old burgher. 'Do thouconduct our guests to their places, whilst I seek my room and doff theserobes of office, with my chain and tippet, ere I break my fast.'

  Following our fair guide we passed into a very large and lofty room, thewalls of which were wainscoted with carved oak, and hung at either endwith tapestry. The floor was tesselated after the French fashion, andplentifully strewn with skins and rugs. At one end of the apartmentstood a great white marble fireplace, like a small room in itself,fitted up, as was the ancient custom, with an iron stand in the centre,and with broad stone benches in the recess on either side. Lines ofhooks above the chimneypiece had been used, as I surmise, to supportarms, for the wealthy merchants of England were wont to keep enough intheir houses to at least equip their apprentices and craftsmen. Theyhad now, however, been removed, nor was there any token of the troubloustimes save a single heap of pikes and halberds piled together in acorner.

  Down the centre of this room there ran a long and massive table, whichwas surrounded by thirty or forty people, the greater part of whom weremen. They were on their feet as we entered, and a grave-faced man at thefarther end was drawling forth an interminable grace, which began as athanksgiving for food, but wandered away into questions of Church andState, and finally ended in a supplication for Israel now in arms to dobattle for the Lord. While this was proceeding we stood in a groupby the door with our caps doffed, and spent our time in observing thecompany more closely than we could have done with courtesy had theireyes not been cast down and their thoughts elsewhere.

  They were of all ages, from greybeards down to lads scarce out of theirteens, all with the same solemn and austere expression of countenance,and clad in the same homely and sombre garb. Save their wide whitecollars and cuffs, not a string of any colour lessened the sad severityof their attire. Their black coats and doublets were cut straight andclose, and their cordovan leather shoes, which in the days of our youthwere usually the seat of some little ornament, were uniformly squaretoed and tied with sad-coloured ribbon. Most of them wore plainsword-belts of untanned hide, but the weapons themselves, with theirbroad felt hats and black cloaks, were laid under the benches or placedupon the settles which lined the walls. They stood with their handsclasped and their heads bent, listening to the untimely address, andoccasionally by some groan or exclamation testifying that the preacher'swords had moved them.

  The overgrown grace came at last to an end, when the company satsilently down, and proceeded without pause or ceremony to attack thegreat joints which smoked before them. Our young hostess led us to theend of the table, where a high carded chair with a black cushion upon itmarked the position of the master of the house. Mistress Timewell seatedherself upon the right of the Mayor's place, with Sir Gervas beside her,while the post of honour upon the left was assigned to Saxon. On my leftsat Lockarby, whose eyes I observed had been fixed in undisguised andall-absorbing admiration upon the Puritan maiden from the first momentthat he had seen her. The table was of no great breadth, so that wecould talk across in spite of the clatter of plates and dishes, thebustle of servants, and the deep murmur of voices.

  'This is my father's household,' said our hostess, addressing herself toSaxon. 'There is not one of them who is not in his employ. He hath manyapprentices in the wool trade. We sit down forty to meat every day inthe year.'

  'And to right good fare, too,' quoth Saxon, glancing down the table.'Salmon, ribs of beef, loin of mutton, veal, pasties--what could manwish for more? Plenty of good home-brewed, too, to wash it down. Ifworthy Master Timewell can arrange that the army be victualled after thesame fashion, I for one shell be beholden to him. A cup of dirty waterand a charred morsel cooked on a ramrod over the camp fire are like totake the place of these toothsome dainties.'

  'Is it not best to have faith?' said the Puritan maiden. 'Shall not theAlmighty feed His soldiers even as Elisha was fed in the wilderness andHagar in the desert?'

  'Aye,' exclaimed a lanky-haired, swarthy young man who sat upon theright of Sir Gervas, 'he will provide for us, even as the stream ofwater gushed forth out of dry places, even as the quails and the mannalay thick upon barren soil.'

  'So I trust, young sir,' quoth Saxon, 'but we must none the less arrangea victual-train, with a staff of wains, duly numbered, and an intendantover each, after the German fashion. Such things should not be left tochance.'

  Pretty Mistress Timewell glanced up with a half startled look at thisremark, as though shocked at the want of faith implied in it. Herthoughts might have taken the form of words had not her father enteredthe room at the moment, the whole company rising and bowing to him as headvanced to his seat.

  'Be seated, friends,' said he, with a wave of his hand; 'we are a homelyfolk, Colonel Saxon, and the old-time virtue of respect for our eldershas not entirely forsaken us. I trust, Ruth,' he continued, 'that thouhast seen to the wants of our guests.'

  We all protested that we had never received such attention andhospitality.

  ''Tis well, 'tis well,' said the good wool-worker. 'But your plates areclear and your glasses empty. William, look to it! A good workmanis ever a good trencherman. If a 'prentice of mine cannot clean hisplatter, I know that I shall get little from him with carder and teazel.Thew and sinew need building up. A slice from that round of beef,William! Touching that sa
me battle of Ober-Graustock, Colonel, what partwas played in the fray by that regiment of Pandour horse, in which, as Iunderstand, thou didst hold a commission?'

  This was a question on which, as may be imagined, Saxon had much to say,and the pair were soon involved in a heated discussion, in which theexperiences of Roundway Down and Marston Moor were balanced against theresults of a score of unpronounceable fights in the Styrian Alps andalong the Danube. Stephen Timewell in his lusty youth had led firsta troop and then a regiment through the wars of the Parliament, fromChalgrove Field to the final battle at Worcester, so that his warlikepassages, though less varied and extensive than those of our companion,were enough to enable him to form and hold strong opinions. These werein the main the same as those of the soldier of fortune, but when theirideas differed upon any point, there arose forthwith such a cross-fireof military jargon, such speech of estacados and palisados, suchcomparisons of light horse and heavy, of pikemen and musqueteers,of Lanzknechte, Leaguers, and on-falls, that the unused ear becamebewildered with the babble. At last, on some question of fortification,the Mayor drew his outworks with the spoons and knives, on which Saxonopened his parallels with lines of bread, and pushing them rapidlyup with traverses and covered ways, he established himself upon there-entering angle of the Mayor's redoubt. This opened up a freshquestion as to counter-mines, with the result that the dispute ragedwith renewed vigour.

  Whilst this friendly strife was proceeding between the elders, SirGervas Jerome and Mistress Ruth had fallen into conversation at theother side of the table. I have seldom seen, my dear children, sobeautiful a face as that of this Puritan damsel; and it was beautifulwith that sort of modest and maidenly comeliness where the featuresderive their sweetness from the sweet soul which shines through them.The perfectly-moulded body appeared to be but the outer expression ofthe perfect spirit within. Her dark-brown hair swept back from a broadand white forehead, which surmounted a pair of well-marked eyebrows andlarge blue thoughtful eyes. The whole cast of her features was gentleand dove-like, yet there was a firmness in the mouth and delicateprominence of the chin which might indicate that in times of trouble anddanger the little maid would prove to be no unworthy descendant of theRoundhead soldier and Puritan magistrate. I doubt not that where moreloud-tongued and assertive dames might be cowed, the Mayor's soft-voiceddaughter would begin to cast off her gentler disposition, and to showthe stronger nature which underlay it. It amused me much to listen tothe efforts which Sir Gervas made to converse with her, for the damseland he lived so entirely in two different worlds, that it took all hisgallantry and ready wit to keep on ground which would be intelligible toher.

  'No doubt you spend much of your time in reading, Mistress Ruth,' heremarked. 'It puzzles me to think what else you can do so far fromtown?'

  'Town!' said she in surprise. 'What is Taunton but a town?'

  'Heaven forbid that I should deny it,' replied Sir Gervas, 'moreespecially in the presence of so many worthy burghers, who have the nameof being somewhat jealous of the honour of their native city. Yet thefact remains, fair mistress, that the town of London so far transcendsall other towns that it is called, even as I called it just now, _the_town.'

  'Is it so very large, then?' she cried, with pretty wonder. 'But newlouses are building in Taunton, outside the old walls, and beyondShuttern, and some even at the other side of the river. Perhaps in timeit may be as large.'

  'If all the folks in Taunton were to be added to London,' said SirGervas, 'no one there would observe that there had been any increase.'

  'Nay, there you are laughing at me. That is against all reason,' criedthe country maiden.

  'Your grandfather will bear out my words,' said Sir Gervas. 'But toreturn to your reading, I'll warrant that there is not a page ofScudery and her "Grand Cyrus" which you have not read. You are familiar,doubtless, with every sentiment in Cowley, or Waller, or Dryden?'

  'Who are these?' she asked. 'At what church do they preach?'

  'Faith!' cried the baronet, with a laugh, 'honest John preaches at thechurch of Will Unwin, commonly known as Will's, where many a time itis two in the morning before he comes to the end of his sermon. But whythis question? Do you think that no one may put pen to paper unless theyhave also a right to wear a gown and climb up to a pulpit? I had thoughtthat all of your sex had read Dryden. Pray, what are your own favouritebooks?'

  'There is Alleine's "Alarm to the Unconverted,"' said she. 'It is astirring work, and one which hath wrought much good. Hast thou not foundit to fructify within thee?'

  'I have not read the book you name,' Sir Gervas confessed.

  'Not read it?' she cried, with raised eyebrows. 'Truly I had thoughtthat every one had read the "Alarm." What dost thou think, then, of"Faithful Contendings"?'

  'I have not read it.'

  'Or of Baxter's Sermons?' she asked.

  'I have not read them.'

  'Of Bull's "Spirit Cordial," then?'

  'I have not read it.'

  Mistress Ruth Timewell stared at him in undisguised wonder. 'You maythink me ill-bred to say it, sir,' she remarked, 'but I cannot butmarvel where you have been, or what you have done all your life. Why,the very children in the street have read these books.'

  'In truth, such works come little in our way in London,' Sir Gervasanswered. 'A play of George Etherege's, or a jingle of Sir JohnSuckling's is lighter, though mayhap less wholesome food for the mind.A man in London may keep pace with the world of letters withoutmuch reading, for what with the gossip of the coffee-houses and thenews-letters that fall in his way, and the babble of poets or witsat the assemblies, with mayhap an evening or two in the week at theplayhouse, with Vanbrugh or Farquhar, one can never part company forlong with the muses. Then, after the play, if a man is in no humour fora turn of luck at the green table at the Groom Porter's, he may strolldown to the Coca Tree if he be a Tory, or to St. James's if he be aWhig, and it is ten to one if the talk turn not upon the turning ofalcaics, or the contest between blank verse or rhyme. Then one may,after an arriere supper, drop into Will's or Slaughter's and find OldJohn, with Tickell and Congreve and the rest of them, hard at workon the dramatic unities, or poetical justice, or some such matter. Iconfess that my own tastes lay little in that line, for about that hourI was likely to be worse employed with wine-flask, dice-box, or--'

  'Hem! hem!' cried I warningly, for several of the Puritans werelistening with faces which expressed anything but approval.

  'What you say of London is of much interest to me,' said the Puritanmaiden, 'though these names and places have little meaning to myignorant ears. You did speak, however, of the playhouse. Surely noworthy man goes near those sinks of iniquity, the baited traps of theEvil One? Has not the good and sanctified Master Bull declared fromthe pulpit that they are the gathering-place of the froward, the chosenhaunts of the perverse Assyrians, as dangerous to the soul as anyof those Papal steeple-houses wherein the creature is sacrilegiouslyconfounded with the Creator?'

  'Well and truly spoken, Mistress Timewell,' cried the lean youngPuritan upon the right, who had been an attentive listener to the wholeconversation. 'There is more evil in such houses than even in the citiesof the plain. I doubt not that the wrath of the Lord will descendupon them, and destroy them, and wreck them utterly, together with thedissolute men and abandoned women who frequent them.'

  'Your strong opinions, friend,' said Sir Gervas quietly, 'are borne outdoubtless by your full knowledge of the subject. How often, prythee,have you been in these playhouses which you are so ready to decry?'

  'I thank the Lord that I have never been so far tempted from thestraight path as to set foot within one,' the Puritan answered, 'norhave I ever been in that great sewer which is called London. I trust,however, that I with others of the faithful may find our way thitherwith our tucks at our sides ere this business is finished, when we shallnot be content, I'll warrant, with shutting these homes of vice, asCromwell did, but we shall not leave one stone upon another, and shallsow the spot with salt, that it
may be a hissing and a byword amongstthe people.'

  'You are right, John Derrick,' said the Mayor, who had overheard thelatter part of his remarks. 'Yet methinks that a lower tone and a morebackward manner would become you better when you are speaking with yourmaster's guests. Touching these same playhouses, Colonel, when we havecarried the upper hand this time, we shall not allow the old tares tocheck the new wheat. We know what fruit these places have borne in thedays of Charles, the Gwynnes, the Palmers, and the whole base crew offoul lecherous parasites. Have you ever been in London, Captain Clarke?'

  'Nay, sir; I am country born and bred.'

  'The better man you,' said our host. 'I have been there twice. The firsttime was in the days of the Rump, when Lambert brought in his divisionto overawe the Commons. I was then quartered at the sign of the FourCrosses in Southwark, then kept by a worthy man, one John Dolman, withwhom I had much edifying speech concerning predestination. All wasquiet and sober then, I promise you, and you might have walked fromWestminster to the Tower in the dead of the night without hearing aughtsave the murmur of prayer and the chanting of hymns. Not a ruffler ora wench was in the streets after dark, nor any one save staid citizensupon their business, or the halberdiers of the watch. The second visitwhich I made was over this business of the levelling of the ramparts,when I and neighbour Foster, the glover, were sent at the head of adeputation from this town to the Privy Council of Charles. Who couldhave credited that a few years would have made such a change? Every evilthing that had been stamped underground had spawned and festered untilits vermin brood flooded the streets, and the godly wore themselvesdriven to shun the light of day. Apollyon had indeed triumphed for awhile. A quiet man could not walk the highways without being elbowedinto the kennel by swaggering swashbucklers, or accosted by paintedhussies. Padders and michers, laced cloaks, jingling spurs, slashedboots, tall plumes, bullies and pimps, oaths and blasphemies--I promiseyou hell was waxing fat. Even in the solitude of one's coach one was notfree from the robber.'

  'How that, sir?' asked Reuben.

  'Why marry, in this wise. As I was the sufferer I have the best rightto tell the tale. Ye must know that after our reception--which wascold enough, for we were about as welcome to the Privy Council as thehearth-tax man is to the village housewife--we were asked, more asI guess from derision than from courtesy, to the evening levee atBuckingham Palace. We would both fain have been excused from going butwe feared that our refusal might give undue offence, and so hinder thesuccess of our mission. My homespun garments ware somewhat rough forsuch an occasion, yet I determined to appear in them, with the additionof a new black baize waistcoat faced with silk, and a good periwig, forwhich I gave three pounds ten shillings in the Haymarket.'

  The young Puritan opposite turned up his eyes and murmured somethingabout 'sacrificing to Dagon,' which fortunately for him was inaudible tothe high-spirited old man.

  'It was but a worldly vanity,' quoth the Mayor; 'for, with alldeference, Sir Gervas Jerome, a man's own hair arranged with some taste,and with perhaps a sprinkling of powder, is to my mind the fittestornament to his head. It is the contents and not the case whichavaileth. Having donned this frippery, good Master Foster and I hireda calash and drove to the Palace. We were deep in grave and, I trust,profitable converse speeding through the endless streets, when of asudden I felt a sharp tug at my head, and my hat fluttered down on to myknees. I raised my hands, and lo! they came upon my bare pate. The wighad vanished. We were rolling down Fleet Street at the moment, and therewas no one in the calash save neighbour Foster, who sat as astounded asI. We looked high and low, on the seats and beneath them, but not a signof the periwig was there. It was gone utterly and without a trace.'

  'Whither then?' we asked with one voice.

  'That was the question which we set ourselves to solve. For a moment Ido assure ye that we bethought us that it might be a judgment upon usfor our attention to such carnal follies. Then it crossed my mindthat it might be the doing of some malicious sprite, as the Drummer ofTedworth, or those who occasioned the disturbances no very long timesince at the old Gast House at Little Burton here in Somersetshire.(Note F. Appendix.) With this thought we hallooed to the coachman, andtold him what had occurred to us. The fellow came down from hisperch, and having heard our story, he burst straightway into much foullanguage, and walking round to the back of his calash, showed us thata slit had been made in the leather wherewith it was fashioned. Throughthis the thief had thrust his hand and had drawn my wig through thehole, resting the while on the crossbar of the coach. It was no uncommonthing, he said, and the wig-snatchers were a numerous body who waitedbeside the peruke-maker's shops, and when they saw a customer come forthwith a purchase which was worth their pains they would follow him, and,should he chance to drive, deprive him of it in this fashion. Be that asit may, I never saw my wig again, and had to purchase another before Icould venture into the royal presence.'

  'A strange adventure truly,' exclaimed Saxon. 'How fared it with you forthe remainder of the evening?'

  'But scurvily, for Charles's face, which was black enough at alltimes, was blackest of all to us; nor was his brother the Papist morecomplaisant. They had but brought us there that they might dazzle uswith their glitter and gee-gaws, in order that we might bear a finereport of them back to the West with us. There were supple-backedcourtiers, and strutting nobles, and hussies with their shoulders bare,who should for all their high birth have been sent to Bridewell asreadily as any poor girl who ever walked at the cart's tail. Then therewere the gentlemen of the chamber, with cinnamon and plum-colouredcoats, and a brave show of gold lace and silk and ostrich feather.Neighbour Foster and I felt as two crows might do who have wanderedamong the peacocks. Yet we bare in mind in whose image we werefashioned, and we carried ourselves, I trust, as independent Englishburghers. His Grace of Buckingham had his flout at us, and Rochestersneered, and the women simpered; but we stood four square, my friendand I, discussing, as I well remember, the most precious doctrines ofelection and reprobation, without giving much heed either to those whomocked us, or to the gamesters upon our left, or to the dancers uponour right. So we stood throughout the evening, until, finding that theycould get little sport from us, my Lord Clarendon, the Chancellor, gaveus the word to retire, which we did at our leisure after saluting theKing and the company.'

  'Nay, that I should never have done!' cried the young Puritan, who hadlistened intently to his elder's narrative. 'Would it not have beenmore fitting to have raised up your hands and called down vengeance uponthem, as the holy man of old did upon the wicked cities?'

  'More fitting, quotha!' said the Mayor impatiently. 'It is most fittingthat youth should be silent until his opinion is asked on such matters.God's wrath comes with leaden feet, but it strikes with iron hands. InHis own good time He has judged when the cup of these men's iniquitiesis overflowing. It is not for us to instruct Him. Curses have, as thewise man said, a habit of coming home to roost. Bear that in mind,Master John Derrick, and be not too liberal with them.'

  The young apprentice, for such he was, bowed his head sullenly to therebuke, whilst the Mayor, after a short pause, resumed his story.

  'Being a fine night,' said he, 'we chose to walk back to our lodgings;but never shall I forget the wicked scenes wherewith we were encounteredon the way. Good Master Bunyan, of Elstow, might have added somepages to his account of Vanity Fair had he been with us. The women,be-patched, be-ruddled, and brazen; the men swaggering, roistering,cursing--the brawling, the drabbing, and the drunkenness! It was a fitkingdom to be ruled over by such a court. At last we had made our way tomore quiet streets, and were hoping that our adventures were at an end,when of a sudden there came a rush of half-drunken cavaliers from a sidestreet, who set upon the passers-by with their swords, as though we hadfallen into an ambuscade of savages in some Paynim country. They were,as I surmise, of the same breed as those of whom the excellent JohnMilton wrote: "The sons of Belial, flown with insolence and wine." Alas!my memory is not what it was, fo
r at one time I could say by rote wholebooks of that noble and godly poem.'

  'And, pray, how fared ye with these rufflers, sir?' I asked.

  'They beset us, and some few other honest citizens who were wendingtheir ways homewards, and waving their naked swords they called upon usto lay down our arms and pay homage. "To whom?" I asked. They pointedto one of their number who was more gaudily dressed and somewhatdrunker than the rest. "This is our most sovereign liege," they cried."Sovereign over whom?" I asked. "Over the Tityre Tus," they answered."Oh, most barbarous and cuckoldy citizen, do you not recognise that youhave fallen into the hands of that most noble order?" "This is not yourreal monarch," said I, "for he is down beneath us chained in the pit,where some day he will gather his dutiful subjects around him." "Lo, hehath spoken treason!" they cried, on which, without much more ado, theyset upon us with sword and dagger. Neighbour Foster and I placed ourbacks against a wall, and with our cloaks round our left arms we madeplay with our tucks, and managed to put in one or two of the old WiganLane raspers. In particular, friend Foster pinked the King in such wisethat his Majesty ran howling down the street like a gored bull-pup. Wewere beset by numbers, however, and might have ended our mission thenand there had not the watch appeared upon the scene, struck up ourweapons with their halberds, and so arrested the whole party. Whilst thefray lasted the burghers from the adjoining houses were pouring waterupon us, as though we were cats on the tiles, which, though it didnot cool our ardour in the fight, left us in a scurvy and unsavourycondition. In this guise we were dragged to the round-house, where wespent the night amidst bullies, thieves, and orange wenches, to whom Iam proud to say that both neighbour Foster and myself spoke some wordsof joy and comfort. In the morning we were released, and forthwith shookthe dust of London from our feet; nor do I ever wish to return thither,unless it be at the head of our Somersetshire regiments, to see KingMonmouth don the crown which he had wrested in fair fight from thePopish perverter.'

  As Master Stephen Timewell ended his tale a general shuffling and risingannounced the conclusion of the meal. The company filed slowly out inorder of seniority, all wearing the same gloomy and earnest expression,with grave gait and downcast eyes. These Puritan ways were, it is true,familiar to me from childhood, yet I had never before seen a largehousehold conforming to them, or marked their effect upon so many youngmen.

  'You shall bide behind for a while,' said the Mayor, as we were aboutto follow the others. 'William, do you bring a flask of the old greensealed sack. These creature comforts I do not produce before my lads,for beef and honest malt is the fittest food for such. On occasion,however, I am of Paul's opinion, that a flagon of wine among friends isno bad thing for mind or for body. You can away now, sweetheart, if youhave aught to engage you.'

  'Do you go out again?' asked Mistress Ruth.

  'Presently, to the town-hall. The survey of arms is not yet complete.'

  'I shall have your robes ready, and also the rooms of our guests,' sheanswered, and so, with a bright smile to us, tripped away upon her duty.

  'I would that I could order our town as that maiden orders this house,'said the Mayor. 'There is not a want that is not supplied before it isfelt. She reads my thoughts and acts upon them ere my lips have time toform them. If I have still strength to spend in the public service, itis because my private life is full of restful peace. Do not fear thesack, sirs. It cometh from Brooke and Hellier's of Abchurch Lane, andmay be relied upon.'

  'Which showeth that one good thing cometh out of London,' remarked SirGervas.

  'Aye, truly,' said the old man, smiling. 'But what think ye of my youngmen, sir? They must needs be of a very different class to any withwhom you are acquainted, if, as I understand, you have frequented courtcircles.'

  'Why, marry, they are good enough young men, no doubt,' Sir Gervasanswered lightly. 'Methinks, however, that there is a want of sap aboutthem. It is not blood, but sour buttermilk that flows in their veins.'

  'Nay, nay,' the Mayor responded warmly. 'There you do them an injustice.Their passions and feelings are under control, as the skilful riderkeeps his horse in hand; but they are as surely there as is the speedand endurance of the animal. Did you observe the godly youth who satupon your right, whom I had occasion to reprove more than once forover-zeal? He is a fit example of how a man may take the upper hand ofhis feelings, and keep them in control.'

  'And how has he done so?' I asked.

  'Why, between friends,' quoth the Mayor, 'it was but last Lady-day thathe asked the hand of my granddaughter Ruth in marriage. His time isnearly served, and his father, Sam Derrick, is an honourable craftsman,so that the match would have been no unfitting one. The maiden turnedagainst him, however--young girls will have their fancies--and thematter came to an end. Yet here he dwells under the same roof-tree, ather elbow from morn to night, with never a sign of that passion whichcan scarce have died out so soon. Twice my wool warehouse hath beennigh burned to the ground since then, and twice he hath headed those whofought the flames. There are not many whose suit hath been rejected whowould bear themselves in so resigned and patient a fashion.'

  'I am prepared to find that your judgment is the correct one,' said SirGervas Jerome. 'I have learned to distrust too hasty dislikes, and bearin mind that couplet of John Dryden--

  "Errors, like straws, upon the surface flow. He who would search for pearls must dive below."'

  'Or worthy Dr. Samuel Butler,' said Saxon, 'who, in his immortal poem of"Hudibras," says--

  "The fool can only see the skin: The wise man tries to peep within."'

  'I wonder, Colonel Saxon,' said our host severely, 'that you shouldspeak favourably of that licentious poem, which is composed, as I haveheard, for the sole purpose of casting ridicule upon the godly. I shouldas soon have expected to hear you praise the wicked and foolish work ofHobbes, with his mischievous thesis, "A Deo rex, a rege lex."'

  'It is true that I contemn and despise the use which Butler hath made ofhis satire,' said Saxon adroitly; 'yet I may admire the satire itself,just as one may admire a damascened blade without approving of thequarrel in which it is drawn.'

  'These distinctions are, I fear, too subtle for my old brain,' said thestout old Puritan. 'This England of ours is divided into two camps, thatof God and that of Antichrist. He who is not with us is against us, norshall any who serve under the devil's banner have anything from me savemy scorn and the sharp edge of my sword.'

  'Well, well,' said Saxon, filling up his glass, 'I am no Laodicean ortime-server. The cause shall not find me wanting with tongue or withsword.'

  'Of that I am well convinced, my worthy friend,' the Mayor answered,'and if I have spoken over sharply you will hold me excused. But Iregret to have evil tidings to announce to you. I have not told thecommonalty lest it cast them down, but I know that adversity will bebut the whetstone to give your ardour a finer edge. Argyle's rising hasfailed, and he and his companions are prisoners in the hands of the manwho never knew what pity was.'

  We all started in our chairs at this, and looked at one another aghast,save only Sir Gervas Jerome, whose natural serenity was, I am wellconvinced, proof against any disturbance. For you may remember, mychildren, that I stated when I first took it in hand to narrate to youthese passages of my life, that the hopes of Monmouth's party restedvery much upon the raid which Argyle and the Scottish exiles hadmade upon Ayrshire, where it was hoped that they would create such adisturbance as would divert a good share of King James's forces, and somake our march to London less difficult. This was the more confidentlyexpected since Argyle's own estates lay upon that side of Scotland,where he could raise five thousand swordsmen among his own clansmen.The western counties abounded, too, in fierce zealots who were ready toassert the cause of the Covenant, and who had proved themselves in manya skirmish to be valiant warriors. With the help of the Highlanders andof the Covenanters it seemed certain that Argyle would be able to holdhis own, the more so since he took with him to Scotland the Englis
hPuritan Rumbold, and many others skilled in warfare. This sudden newsof his total defeat and downfall was therefore a heavy blow, since itturned the whole forces of the Government upon ourselves.

  'Have you the news from a trusty source?' asked Decimus Saxon, after along silence.

  'It is beyond all doubt or question,' Master Stephen Timewell answered.'Yet I can well understand your surprise, for the Duke had trustycouncillors with him. There was Sir Patrick Hume of Polwarth--'

  'All talk and no fight,' said Saxon.

  'And Richard Rumbold.'

  'All fight and no talk,' quoth our companion. 'He should, methinks, haverendered a better account of himself.'

  'Then there was Major Elphinstone.'

  'A bragging fool!' cried Saxon.'

  'And Sir John Cochrane.'

  'A captious, long-tongued, short-witted sluggard,' said the soldier offortune. 'The expedition was doomed from the first with such men atits head. Yet I had thought that could they have done nought else, theymight at least have flung themselves into the mountain country, wherethese bare-legged caterans could have held their own amid their nativeclouds and mists. All taken, you say! It is a lesson and a warningto us. I tell you that unless Monmouth infuses more energy into hiscouncils, and thrusts straight for the heart instead of fencing andfoining at the extremities, we shall find ourselves as Argyle andRumbold. What mean these two days wasted at Axminster at a time whenevery hour is of import? Is he, every time that he brushes a partyof militia aside, to stop forty-eight hours and chant "Te Deums" whenChurchill and Feversham are, as I know, pushing for the West with everyavailable man, and the Dutch grenadiers are swarming over like rats intoa granary?'

  'You are very right, Colonel Saxon,' the Mayor answered. 'And I trustthat when the King comes here we may stir him up to more prompt action.He has much need of more soldierly advisers, for since Fletcher hathgone there is hardly a man about him who hath been trained to arms.'

  'Well,' said Saxon moodily, 'now that Argyle hath gone under we are faceto face with James, with nothing but our own good swords to trust to.'

  'To them and to the justice of our cause. How like ye the news, youngsirs? Has the wine lost its smack on account of it? Are ye disposed toflinch from the standard of the Lord?'

  'For my own part I shall see the matter through,' said I.

  'And I shall bide where Micah Clarke bides,' quoth Reuben Lockarby.

  'And to me,' said Sir Gervas, 'it is a matter of indifference, so longas I am in good company and there is something stirring.'

  'In that case,' said the Mayor, 'we had best each turn to his own work,and have all ready for the King's arrival. Until then I trust that yewill honour my humble roof.'

  'I fear that I cannot accept your kindness,' Saxon answered. 'When I amin harness I come and go early and late. I shall therefore take up myquarters in the inn, which is not very well furnished with victual,and yet can supply me with the simple fare, which with a black Jack ofOctober and a pipe of Trinidado is all I require.'

  As Saxon was firm in this resolution the Mayor forbore to press it uponhim, but my two friends gladly joined with me in accepting the worthywool-worker's offer, and took up our quarters for the time under hishospitable roof.