Steele Resolve: A Hawke Family Story

by Gwyn McNamee

  If the apple can fall far from the tree, that certainly seems to have happened with the younger Abello. I’ve had several very pleasant sit-downs with him during which he explained his thought process about returning to a normal life in New Orleans, his and my home, for better or for worse.

  “I left with my mother at age ten for many reasons, but mostly because she didn’t want me around my father, and he didn’t want me around him, either. I wasn’t raised in his world and never had any interest in joining the family business. He was heartless. He was an unforgiving a**hole. Can I say that in this paper?”

  I couldn’t help but laugh along with him at that comment. Luca Abello is handsome and charming, and it’s hard not to like him despite reservations about a man with the infamous last name…

  My eyes glaze over as I read about him reopening the liquor distribution company, the waste management company, and a handful of other business ventures. All merely a cover for revamping his father’s criminal empire.

  Shit. Shit. Shit.

  Did he say anything to her? Did he let anything slip?

  Even if it’s not printed in black on the page, that doesn’t mean Caroline doesn’t know and didn’t tell everyone.

  He was pissed when I ended things. I anticipated a blowup. A fight. Him raging and telling me he wasn’t going to let me go. But I got the opposite. Hard, dark, stoicism was all he offered as he pulled his clothes on after I fucked him brutally. He cast one look over his shoulder at me before he closed the door on us.

  It’s what I wanted. It’s what I did. But it still broke me more that Luca could so easily walk away than if he had put up some sort of a damn fight.

  Maybe he didn’t because he planned to use this article to get back at me, to hurt me in the worst way possible. By telling the Hawkes.

  No.

  If he did say something to Caroline and she told, I’d have been eaten alive by angry Hawkes descending on me by now. They don’t know. Yet.

  It’s still too early for anyone else to be here. Savage and Gabe are probably still at the gym, and Saint and Caroline haven’t been coming in until mid-morning.

  Good.

  I need time to think. Time to figure out a plan on how to approach what will undoubtedly be a very uncomfortable conversation. It’s something I should have done long ago.

  I set the article to the side and drop my face into my hands.

  How did I manage to fuck things up so badly?

  If I had just kept my dick in my pants, none of this would be happening. I wouldn’t be fighting my attraction to the wrong man while hiding something so important from my best friends and employers.

  I guess the Hawkes were right. When an Abello shows up, he only brings bad things with him.

  The click of my Zegna shoes against the concrete echoes through the warehouse. Walking the same path Dom did has a chill climbing up my spine. The last time an Abello set foot in here, he was only days away from getting gunned down by Gabe.

  I wander over to a stack of pallets filled with six-packs of beer stacked so high it almost reaches the ceiling, and I turn back to Adam. The manager of the liquor distributor we’ve owned for years trails a few steps behind me.

  “We all set?”

  He nods, stops, and examines the clipboard in his hand. “Yep, we have pretty much everything back in stock, and we’re ready to start deliveries again later today.”

  Excellent.

  It’s taken far too long to get things rolling again. Part of that is my fault, but a lot of the blame can be placed on the men Dom left behind, the ones who were too stupid to step up and take charge.

  I glance at all the product filling the massive space. “And where do we stand there?”

  Adam glances up at me and raises an eyebrow. “Uh?”

  Good Lord, it’s like talking to a wall sometimes.

  “How have my father’s former customers responded to us re-entering the market?”

  His eyes widen. “Oh. Well,” he rubs his jaw and averts eye contact, “we have about fifty percent of them back.”

  I must have misheard him. “Did you say only fifty percent?”

  He nods.

  Fuck.

  My delay in getting down here after Dom’s death has really fucked us over on a lot of fronts. Even people who were loyal customers have been forced to move on and find new distributors because the dumbasses who should have stepped up and been running his businesses had no idea what to do after he was gone.

  I snarl and push past him. “Give me a list of everyone who bought from us before his death and everyone who has not returned as a customer. I will make personal visits to each location and speak with them.”

  There isn’t time for this, but there’s no other option at this point. I can’t let things go to shit any more than they already have. The job is all I have left, and time is ticking away to cement my position.

  He shakes his head. “You don’t have to do that. The guys can just go over there and make sure they come back to us.”

  I scowl at him. “Are you an idiot? I’m talking about going over there and having a conversation with them. Explaining the situation so that they understand why it’s beneficial for them to go with us.”

  Of course, this stugots just wanted to run over there and break some bones. That’s how Dom would have done it. That’s how my old partners in Jersey would have, too.

  “Don’t for a second think that you’re going to get away with what happened under my father’s regime. This is a new Abello crew. I’m the new face of the family, and I’m not going to create the same negative connotations with the name that my father did.”

  That would make my entire move here pointless.

  I could have up and moved anywhere—as long as it wasn’t Jersey. I could have gone somewhere no one knew me or my legacy. I could have chosen somewhere that being gay wouldn’t have even been blinked at. But I didn’t. I came here to reclaim my birthright and name.

  “Listen to me carefully, Adam, and make sure the men understand this, too. There are much more subtle and polite ways to make the same point. And you’re going to have to learn that if you want to continue to work for me.” The threat in my words should be clear. People don’t just walk away from the Abello crew. They disappear.

  He gulps and nods slowly. “Okay, boss. I got it.”

  “Make sure the other men get it, too.” Starting out with a cull could bring down negative publicity I don’t need right now.

  I shove past him on my way back toward my car. These idiots are going to make it impossible for me here. The Hawkes already think I’m nothing but a two-bit thug. And I’m fairly confident Byron believes it, too.

  That’s why he ended things. Even when he was coming to me, he was so cut off and so distant at times. I can only assume it’s because of the Hawkes and because of what he thinks I am. And now that it’s over, it looms over me like a dark cloud, threatening to unleash a torrent.

  Violence is just part of the business and necessary at times, but it’s not the starting point. It’s the last resort. Live by the sword, and you’ll die by it.

  At least, that’s the way the old saying goes. And in my experience, it’s true. I’ve seen too many men go down with a bullet to the head or chest with their very own steel clutched in their hand. Some deserved it. Some didn’t. Either way, they lost their lives because of how they chose to live them.

  I can see why Dom’s death was inevitable. You can’t rule by violence and expect to walk away from it unscathed. Maybe I’m fucking stupid for thinking it’s an option to be more diplomatic, but I can’t bear to see innocent people harmed the way the Hawkes were.

  Maybe I’m weak, or maybe I’m just more humane than he was.

  Those weeks watching Storm and Angelina, seeing how disorganized and chaotic their lives had become, witnessing the hurt and the anger and the distress on Storm’s face every day, and knowing Dom put it there was almost too much. But I forced myself to watch, to take note, becaus
e it’s only through knowing the worst fallout that I’m learning where my lines are drawn.

  I’m learning more and more that line blurs, but if I want to have any chance of gaining the Hawkes’ and Byron’s trust, I need to play it safe. If I ever want Byron to come back, he needs to see we can all coexist without hate and mistrust.

  I need to be the good, bad guy, not the bad, bad guy.

  A chuckle falls from my lips as I slip into the car.

  The good, bad guy…is there even such a thing? Or is it just wishful thinking on my part to believe I can walk that tightrope without falling over into the abyss?

  11

  I’ve never actually felt fear having to climb the stairs to go talk to Gabe or Savage about something before. This place has always felt like home. It’s always been somewhere I felt safe and protected among friends. But one reckless decision and weeks of shitty ones after it has turned them into potential enemies or me one to them.

  Even disappearing for a day to try to wrap my head around what to say to them hasn’t helped. It’s the first time I’ve ever missed a day from work, let alone without calling. Under normal circumstances, I’d be feeling guilty about it, but my guilt is all tied up at the moment.

  I clutch Caroline’s article in my hand and approach her open office door. Dani just left, so Caroline should be available.

  From reading the article, it seems Caroline had a pleasant experience with Luca. That’s not surprising. The man could charm a habit off a nun. If Caroline likes him, maybe she’ll be on my side of this, a friendly face in what will surely be a sea of pissed-off people.

  I knock on the jamb and summon every ounce of courage I have with a deep breath.

  “Byron? Where have you been? Is everything okay?”

  I hold up her article. “We need to talk.”

  She narrows her eyes on me but waves me in. “What’s going on?”

  Sex. Betrayal. The usual…

  I stop in front of her desk and suck in a deep breath. “I need to have a meeting with Savage, Gabe, and Saint to tell them something, and I’m really hoping you’ll come in and support me.”

  Her eyebrow wings up. “Support you how?”

  I tuck the article under my arm and brace my hands against the chair back. My head drops down. I can’t look at her when I say this. “I need to tell them I’ve been sleeping with Luca Abello.”

  “Holy shit.”

  I snap my head up and meet her wide eyes.

  Her mouth opens and closes a few times before she manages to get some words out. “Are you serious?”

  I wish I weren’t.

  I press my lips together and nod.

  “For how long?”

  My hand shakes as I run it through my hair. “The first time was well before we knew who he was. I swear I didn’t know who he was. I didn’t realize until he came to meet with everyone here that the man I knew as Steele was actually Luca.”

  “Holy hell. Do you know how huge this is?”

  I growl lowly. “Of course, I do. Why do you think I’m dreading it so much?”

  She holds up her hands. “Okay, okay. Sorry, of course, I’ll go with you for moral support.”

  And undoubtedly to witness the fireworks.

  She rises from her desk and walks around. I follow her out the door and down to Saint’s office with my heart in my throat.

  This is it. No going back now.

  Saint flashes a grin when he sees Caroline. “Everything okay?”

  She nods backward toward me standing behind her. “We all need to go have a meeting with Gabe and Savage right now.”

  His dark eyes narrow on us. “Why? What’s going on?”

  She holds up a small hand. “Just trust me, it’s better if we do this all at once.”

  He sighs and rises from his chair. “Okay, Bambi.” He presses a kiss to her forehead before following us down the hallway to Savage’s office. Gabe and Savage’s voices float out into the hallway. Saint stops at the jamb. “Hey, guys, you got a minute?”

  They both look over toward the door. “Yeah, what’s up?”

  He steps inside and allows Caroline and me to enter. “Caroline and Byron need to talk to us about something.”

  Savage sighs and leans back. “While I’m glad you’ve surfaced again, Byron, why do I have a feeling I’m not gonna like this?”

  Gabe examines us as we enter. Caroline takes the chair next to him, and Saint sits on the edge of Savage’s desk.

  I move to the other side of the room where everyone can see me and hold up the newspaper article. “We need to talk about Luca.”

  Gabe’s pale eyebrows rise, and his eyes flick between Saint and Savage. “What about him?”

  I’ve gone over how I was going to tell them a thousand different times, yet in my head, all I see is a massive wall of nothing.

  How do you tell your friends that you betrayed them? How do you tell them you’re literally sleeping with the enemy?

  I guess you just come right out and say it. “I’ve been sleeping with Luca.”

  “What?” All three men yell the word at the same time, all with wide, hard eyes.

  Gabe glowers. “You’re joking, right?”

  I shake my head. “I wish I could tell you I was.”

  Savage scowls. “How the hell did this happen? I didn’t even know he was gay.”

  A sigh slips from my lips, and I twist the article between my hands. “It wasn’t long before we knew he was in town. He told me his name was Steele. I didn’t find out who he was until he showed up here to meet with you guys.”

  “Jesus Christ.” Savage’s eyes flick over to Saint. “Did you know about this?”

  He crosses his massive arms over his chest. “Of course, not. You think you wouldn’t know if I knew?”

  Savage’s eyes narrow on Caroline. “Did you know?”

  She scoffs. “No. I mean, I knew Luca was gay, and so did Saint, but not that he was sleeping with Byron.”

  Savage tosses Saint a dirty look then returns his attention to Caroline. “You knew he was gay? How?”

  She shrugs nonchalantly. “I found some things when I was researching him for my story. He admitted it to me, but I told him I wasn’t going to out him.”

  Savage scowls at Saint and fists his hands on his desk. “And you knew about this?”

  He nods. “Yes.”

  “Why didn’t either of you tell me?” Savage’s deep voice is even harder than usual, the thin edge of control about to break.

  This is what I’ve been dreading. The blowup. The explosion of rage from the head of the Hawke family.

  Caroline raises her eyebrows. “Why would I? It’s totally irrelevant to your situation with him, or I thought it was, until…” She waves at me. “Really, how the hell was I supposed to know Byron was boinking the guy?”

  Boinking? Really?

  Everyone chuckles a little bit, and it breaks some of the tension building in the room.

  Did she do that on purpose?

  I clear my throat. “Look, guys, this is obviously a very difficult situation for all of us. I don’t want you guys to think I betrayed you. I didn’t know who he was when I met him.”

  Savage narrows his eyes at me. “When you met him…”

  He didn’t miss that. He doesn’t miss much. He may have been able to forgive the first night when I didn’t know. When I couldn’t have known. But when he knows I kept returning once the truth was unveiled, a nuclear bomb will detonate.

  “But you continued to see him when you knew who he was, and you didn’t tell us?”

  I nod.

  His blue eyes go ice cold. “Are you still seeing him?”

  I shake my head. “No. I told him I couldn’t see him anymore. I just couldn’t deal with the sneaking around, the not being able to trust him, not being able to trust myself…”

  Savage opens and clenches his fists several times while silence fills the room. So much has changed since the first time I sat in here with him, begging for
a job and for him to trust me. We’ve gained so much and lost so much just the same. Now I’m begging for forgiveness and trust again, only this time, I don’t deserve it.

  Finally, Savage shakes his head and sighs. “A year or two ago, I probably would have exploded at you and fired you on the spot for this kind of betrayal.” His eyes shift over to his best friend, and a knowing look passes between Gabe and him. “But I’ve learned something over the last few years. Sometimes we do things for love, or lust, that we wouldn’t do otherwise. Things that others may see as unforgivable.” He turns his gaze on me. “I almost lost Gabe because of his relationship with Skye. For something so stupid and petty. I’d love to think I’ve grown from that and can sit here and say I understand why you were with him.”

  I shake my head. “I’m not asking you to understand. It doesn’t matter anyway, like I said, it’s over.”

  He considers me for a moment. “Good. I’m glad it is, but my primary concern is where we all stand.”

  Gabe rises and moves over to stand in front of me. He reaches out and places large hands on my biceps. “Byron, we’ve trusted you with our business and our lives for years. You’re a member of this family. We believe you when you say you didn’t know who he was, but the fact that you kept this from us and kept seeing him when you did know is a major concern.”

  I drop my head down and squeeze my eyes closed against the burn of tears. “I know.”

  “But we will get over it. Eventually. Because we’re family.”

  Those last three words have my heart finally beating again. His hands drop from me, and he returns to his chair.

  Savage nods his agreement. “I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little pissed. But I think everyone in this room understands that mistakes can be made, especially when the heart is involved. Just tell us you’re not going to get back together with him.”

  “It’s over. I promise.”