Wedding Cake Wipe Out

by Donna Doyle

  "Dora? Hello… what's going on?" Digby's voice rang through the car as Dora, in her excitement, had pushed the speakerphone button by mistake.

  "I-I…" Dora shouted in her phone, "… don't know."

  "Let me in," Molly Gertrude called from the outside. She was getting impatient. "We need to get out of here." That was the understatement of the year.

  Dora yanked the door to the passenger seat open and helped Molly Gertrude in.

  "Is Miss Grey there?" Digby's voice came again through the loudspeaker. "Miss Grey? Is that you?"

  Dora wanted to answer him but Molly Gertrude was first. Since the speakerphone was on, she knew Digby could hear her words even though she was not speaking directly into the phone. "Go home, Digby. You need your rest. I'll take it from here."

  "But I am home," Digby protested. "What's going on?"

  "Bye Digby," Molly Gertrude ordered in a stiff voice. "Thank you for your good work. See you soon." She turned her eyes to Dora and even though not a word was spoken, Dora could clearly hear Miss Molly's voice in her heart: "Turn-It-Off!"

  "Bye Digby," she still managed to say. "See you soon." Then she turned off the phone, and as she fell back in her seat she let out a long, tired sigh. After she had closed her eyes for a second, she turned her glance at Miss Molly and said, "I will never do this again. Not ever…"

  Molly Gertrude arched her brows. "Not so negative, dear Dora. It was a most profitable evening. I am sure glad we went."

  Dora stared with disbelieving eyes at Miss Molly. "You almost got caught by some local drunks. Do you know what they could have done to you? Such fellows do not believe in God nor man. You were in serious danger."

  "No, I wasn't," Molly Gertrude snorted. "These fellows were so drunk I heard them coming from a mile away. I made my way back to the garage in time. But tell me," she exclaimed. "Why did you call Digby?"

  Dora's face dropped and she suppressed a sob. "I was scared for you, Miss Molly. Really scared. I did not know what to do, so I thought I'd call Digby."

  Molly Gertrude seemed surprised, but then a tender expression washed over her face, and she grabbed Dora's hand. "Thank you, dear Dora, for being my assistant. I am an old lady, and I suppose I am not as much aware of the dangers anymore as you are. But I appreciate your friendship more than you know. I am sorry to have scared you."

  Dora's eyes glistened for a moment, but then she forced a smile on her face. "Tell me… what did you find?"

  Molly Gertrude tilted her head. "I don't know if it has much meaning, but this man, Bald-Head, isn't always bald."

  Dora's eyes widened. "He isn't?"

  "I found three wigs, and a stash of what looked like moustaches – I’m not certain. They were more like hairy caterpillars. Yeuck!"

  Dora narrowed her eyes. "Why would anyone have three wigs and, em, hairy caterpillars?"

  "It's simple," Molly Gertrude said. "You only have three wigs if you want to disguise yourself. Of course, it's still too early to tell if Bald-Head is connected to Abe Mortimer's unfortunate encounter with a killer cake, but I am convinced he's a slippery character. That much is certain."

  "Anything else?"

  "He works different jobs. I found all sorts of outfits stuffed into his overcrowded wardrobe.”

  Dora shrugged her shoulder. "That's normal. Any man has to work for a living.”

  "Of course," Molly Gertrude repeated while she nodded her head. "But some men make an honest living, while there are others who prefer to make a dishonest living. I have the feeling that our friend Bald-Head falls in the second category."

  "Can we go now?" Dora asked while she shivered.

  Molly Gertrude smiled. "We can, Dora." Her eyes lit up as she thought of something. "If you come in for a cup of tea I have a surprise for you."

  "What?"

  "I baked a homemade batch."

  "Of what?"

  Molly Gertrude frowned. "Come on Dora, you know. I made them this afternoon, especially for you."

  "Silky Citrus Curd Cookies?"

  Molly Gertrude nodded. "There's no better remedy for ruffled nerves. Let's go."

  Billy's face paled as he stared at Charmayne. "You can't be serious, honey. You actually went to see Molly Gertrude Grey and asked her to investigate your father's incident at the wedding? Look, I know your Daddy is still in a coma, but everyone knows it was an accident. He choked on the cake. I’m certain he will be ok," he said, almost choking himself on the final words. Charmayne took it as an indication that he too was upset by the whole affair, but just did not know how to quite express himself.

  She shook her head. "It was no accident, Billy."

  Billy thought it over. "But who would do such a thing?" A dark cloud washed over his face and his eyes grew wide. "You don't think I have anything to do with it, do you, Charmayne?" His breath came in short gasps as he began to realize that if Abe Mortimer breathed his last, he would be one of the first suspects.

  Charmayne looked up at her husband. "Billy, we are just starting out on the road together. It's not going to be an easy ride, but let me make one thing clear…"

  Billy took a step back. "Sure… eh, what's that?"

  "I should have had this conversation much earlier. But this whole affair has made one thing very, very clear…"

  Billy tilted his head. He wasn't certain if he liked what was coming.

  "For our marriage to even have a chance of success we need to really work on our relationship."

  "Sure, anything you say."

  "I want you to be honest with me. Completely honest."

  "Of course, Charmayne. I am always honest."

  "Are you, Billy?" She rested her eyes on Billy. Billy began to fumble with the button on the cuff of his shirt and his eyes began to dart. "I had nothing to do with what happened to your Pop, Charmayne. You must believe me. I loved him like the father I never had."

  "I believe you, Billy," Charmayne said, "but there are other issues."

  "Other issues? What do you mean?"

  I heard you have debts. Big debts."

  Billy's cheeks flushed red and his mouth opened and closed as if he were a fish on dry land. "How do you…? I mean, sure, I have a few debts, but it’s nothing I can't handle."

  "But this is the first time you are admitting those debts to me personally. A few days after we have gotten married."

  Billy threw up his arms in the air. "Please, Charmayne, it's a storm in a glass of water. Who told you I've got debts? I bet it's your old boyfriend, Albert Finney. Are you still seeing him?" Billy gritted his teeth. "You are talking about honesty, but at the same time you still see Albert behind my back."

  A pained expression washed over Charmayne's face. "That's not fair, Billy. I married you, didn't I? And it wasn't Albert who told me."

  Billy's eyes widened. "It wasn't?"

  "No Billy, it was my Daddy. Charmayne gently slapped with her hand on the couch and with her eyes she demanded that Billy sit down next to her. Billy almost looked like a little schoolboy as he came near and sat down. "Listen, Billy… from now on, it's honesty. You tell me everything, and I will tell you everything too. I have always known about your gambling problems, but I've also always wanted to give you a chance, just like my Daddy. But now that we are married, it's time to be completely open and start changing."

  Billy was still gasping for air. "I-I am sorry Charmayne. I will change. Honestly."

  "If you are going to be honest with me it will work, Billy."

  Billy scratched his forehead. "It's not exactly fair."

  "It isn't? Why not?"

  "You don't have any secrets," Billy objected.

  "Yes, I do," Charmayne answered.

  Billy stared at her, not understanding what she meant.

  "Shall I tell you one of my secrets, Billy?"

  "Please…"

  "My Daddy took your name out of the inheritance."

  "What?" Billy jumped up and began to swing his arms around wildly. "What are you saying?"

&nbs
p; "Daddy loved you like a son, Billy, but your gambling has always worried him. To protect me he has taken you out of the will. Even though we are married, you will have to ask me about every cent you are about to spend after Daddy’s gone." She sniffled slightly at the mere thought.

  Billy's mouth opened. Charmayne expected a scream, but no sound came forth. At last he dropped himself back on the couch and hung his head in between his knees. "It's not fair," he whined. "How am I going to ever pay off my debts if you and Abe don’t bail me out?"

  Charmayne shrugged her shoulders. "How about getting a job?"

  The phone rang.

  Charmayne reached for her phone. As she glanced at the screen, her face lit up. It was Molly Gertrude Grey's number. "Miss Grey," she cooed with happy delight. "Is there anything you found out?"

  "Maybe," came the reply. "I just want to know about your Daddy's dentist. What was his name?"

  "That's a strange question," Charmayne replied. "It was Tyler Florey. He's been our dentist for as long as I can remember."

  "And he lives in Calmhaven, right?"

  "Yes," Charmayne replied, "of course. In fact, he lives right down the street." She did not understand the validity of the question.

  "How about a dentist by the name of Salvatore Swaggart? Did you ever hear of him?"

  Charmayne thought for a moment, then broke out into a chuckle. "Sounds more like an opera singer than a dentist. Never heard of him. I don't think there's a dentist by that name in Calmhaven."

  "That's right," Molly Gertrude answered. "That man lives in Trenton Valley, fifty miles up north."

  "Oh? And what is the connection to my Daddy?" Charmayne narrowed her eyes as she pressed the phone closer to her ear.

  "I don't know yet, Charmayne. I am trying to find out," Molly Gertrude replied. "I wish I could tell you more."

  Charmayne closed her eyes for a moment. Poor Daddy. How she missed his familiar smile. "Thank you Miss Grey," she said at last. "Call me as soon as you know more."

  "I will," Molly Gertrude replied. "Don't you worry now. We'll do the best we can. How is Abe? Any news?"

  "Not yet, Miss Molly. Daddy’s still not responding.

  “Oh, my dear, don’t fret. The good Lord will raise him up I am certain. We are praying for you all, you know.”

  “Thank you, Miss Grey."

  "Bye Charmayne."

  The conversation was over, and as Charmayne turned her mobile phone off she let out a deep sigh. Life could be very complicated at times.

  13

  A Visit to Trenton Valley

  Early the next morning, Dora turned the key in her Kia Rio, let it run for some time to get the juices flowing and waited until Molly Gertrude was ready to go. When Molly Gertrude had fastened her seatbelt and gave her a gentle nod, she drove off.

  They would be visiting Trenton Valley, and more specific, the dental clinic of Salvatore Swaggart. Molly Gertrude had contacted the office and made an appointment for Dora to get her teeth checked.

  "I don't need my teeth to get checked," Dora had objected, while she wrinkled her nose. "I just went a few months ago to Tyler Florey." A victorious smile appeared as she lifted up her right index finger and waved it around. "No cavities."

  "I would gladly sit in the dentist's chair," Molly Gertrude explained, "but I've got dentures, so there's no reason for me to make an appointment."

  "You pay the bill," Dora had grunted.

  Molly Gertrude couldn't help but smile. "Sure, Dora. Expenses are on me."

  As they left Calmhaven and took a turn-off to highway 59 that was leading towards Trenton Valley, Dora wanted to know why they actually had to go see Swaggart.

  "His business card was in Abe Mortimer's pocket," Molly Gertrude replied. "You told me that JJ Barnes had found it."

  Dora shrugged her shoulders. "I have lots of business cards in my house from people I don't even remember."

  Molly Gertrude's eyes flashed. "Dora, there's one thing you need to learn…"

  "What?"

  "There's always a reason for everything. Abe Mortimer has had contact with this Salvatore Swaggart. That card didn't land in his pocket by a strange gust of wind. It may very well be nothing, but in order to solve the mystery, you have to follow up on all possible leads."

  Dora nodded without taking her eyes off the road. "You are right, Miss Molly. Of course."

  "Charmayne told me that her Daddy always went to Tyler Flory, just like you. So what's he doing with the address of a dentist 50 miles away from his home?"

  "Beats me," Dora said, as she concentrated on overtaking a truck from the Cash'em-Right.

  Molly Gertrude pushed the button on the radio, trying to find a station with classical music but when Dora heard a country tune from her favorite band, the Wranglers in Jeans, she cried out and begged Miss Molly to keep the tune playing.

  Molly Gertrude didn't particularly like country music but already feeling guilty that she had forced Dora to the dentist chair, she consented. She just had to grin and bear it, and while Dora began to happily sing along, she withdrew from the scene by leaning her head against the window of the Kia Rio.

  Baby it's a mystery to me

  To understand the misery I see,

  But soon I fly to heaven's cloud

  And won't be hearing oh, the wicked shout

  Yeah-Yeah-Yeah- Time is on our hand

  Come and take the stand- Come and take the stand

  Dora got quite into the song, and began to drum along by tapping with her left hand on the steering wheel, causing Molly Gertrude to cast nervous glances at the road. But at last the song finally ended, and to Molly Gertrude's relief, she noticed they were nearing the outskirts of Trenton Valley.

  "Go slow," Molly Gertrude cautioned. "Trenton Valley is quite a bit bigger than Calmhaven. We don't want to miss the right exit.”

  "What's the address again?" Dora asked.

  "25 Orange Blossom."

  "We'll turn here then," Dora suggested as she pointed to an exit sign. "There's a sign for the fruit tree district."

  That sounded about right, and indeed, within a few minutes they drove up to Orange Blossom and found Salvatore Swaggart’s dental clinic. It was an impressive sight. The clinic was a cubical shaped ultra-modern building with artistic, but apparently meaningless arches on all sides, and was almost entirely made of the type of glass that you could not see through from the outside. A stone path led through a grassy lawn to the entrance and as they walked over it, they passed by a marble statue of an object of fine art. Molly Gertrude stared at it for some time, trying to figure out whether it was a naked man, a handicapped tiger, or possibly an artistic rendition of the artist's worst nightmare. To Molly Gertrude, it was impossible to tell.

  But what it did show was that Salvatore Swaggart was doing well in his business. This man had cash, that much was clear.

  On entering they stepped into the reception area, which was kept spotlessly clean. On the far end, behind a reception desk, sat a young woman properly dressed for the occasion. She wore the uniform of a nurse, her hair was professionally held back in a bun, and a little cap with the name Swaggart embroidered on it adorned her head. She looked up as Molly Gertrude and Dora approached. "Hello," she sang. "May I help you?"

  "I've got an appointment to see Doctor Salvatore Swaggart at 11," Dora mumbled.

  The lady looked at her computer screen and nodded. "Yes, that's correct. Please sit over there." She pointed to the waiting area a bit hidden from sight. "The doctor will be with you shortly."

  She turned back to her work and no longer gave the two women her attention.

  Molly Gertrude and Dora sauntered to the waiting area and found a seat.

  "This is very different from Tyler Florey's place," Dora whispered to Molly Gertrude, as she picked up a well-worn copy of 'The Way Things Work.' When Molly Gertrude did not answer, she opened the magazine and began to read an article about the mating-procedures of the red wood-ant.

  A door opened in th
e hallway.

  Voices came closer, and Molly Gertrude looked up. Dora seemed caught up in her education about ants and did not notice anything. One of the voices sounded familiar. A man appeared around the corner, dressed in a white coat, and a green mask hanging on a string on his chest. He was followed by a round, chubby fellow who was balding.

  Molly Gertrude gasped. She knew that person.

  There was only one man that looked like that. She grabbed a magazine from the stack in front of her and held it high before her face, so she would not be recognized.

  Dora looked up and frowned. "What are you doing, Molly Gertrude?"

  "Quiet," Molly Gertrude hissed. "Don't look up. Just keep on reading."

  The man in his white coat, Molly Gertrude assumed it was Salvatore Swaggart, shook hands with the other fellow. "Take care, Mr. Finney. Have a good ride back to Calmhaven."

  Now Dora realized what was happening and a slight tremor went through her body. There, shaking hands with Salvatore Swaggart, fifty miles away from Calmhaven, stood cake maker Albert Finney.

  Both Molly Gertrude and Dora peered over the edge of their magazines and saw how Swaggart handed Finney a brown envelope that was stuffed with something. "Remember, Finney…" Swaggart still said, "… only use these when you absolutely have to, and you see no other way."

  Albert Finney nodded and his familiar, shifty smile appeared. "I won't Doctor."

  Then he turned and left.

  Relief washed over Molly Gertrude. Albert Finney had not seen them. That would have complicated matters unnecessarily. But what was Finney doing here in Trenton Valley, while there was a perfectly good dentist in Calmhaven?