The O'Ruddy: A Romance

by Stephen Crane

  CHAPTER XXX

  In the afternoon I went slowly to the Temple, thinking a good deal onthe way. It's truth I tell, that in spite of the victory of the nightbefore I walked to the Temple rather downhearted. Whether JosiahBrooks was an attorney, or a barrister, or a solicitor, or a plainlawyer, I don't know to this day, and I never could get my mind tograsp the distinction that lies between those names in that trade; butwhichever it was it seemed to me he was a cold, unenthusiastic man,and that he thought very little indeed of my game. There is smallpleasure in litigation in England as compared with the delight of thelaw in the old Ark. If I had gone to see a lawyer in Dublin or Cork hewould have been wild with excitement before I had got half through mystory. He would have slapped me on the back and shook me by the hand,and cried "Whurroo" at the prospect of a contest. My quarrel wouldhave been his before I had been ten minutes in his presence, and hewould have entered into the spirit of the fight as if he were theprincipal in it instead of merely acting for him; but in this gloomycountry of England, where they engage upon a lawsuit, not withdelight, but as if they were preparing for a funeral; there is noenjoyment in the courts at all at all. I wished I could transfer thecase to the old turf, where there is more joy in being defeated thanthere is in winning in England; for I have seen the opposing lawyersrise from the most gentlemanly and elegant language you ever heard toa heated debate; then fling books at each other, and finally clench,while the judge stood up and saw fair play. But this man Brooks was socalm and collected and uninterested that he fairly discouraged me, andI saw that I was going to get neither the money I needed nor thesupport I expected from him.

  As I went up his dark stairway in the Temple and came to the passagethat led to the outer room, I saw standing in a corner the two bundlesof swords I had sent him, as if he had cast them out, which indeed hehad done. After some delay in the outer room, the melancholy man inrusty black asked me, would I go in, and there sat Josiah Brooks athis table as if he had never left it since I took my departure the daybefore. He looked across at me with a scrutiny which seemed to bemingled with dislike and disapproval.

  "Mr. O'Ruddy," he said, quiet-like, "it is not customary to send to alaw office a number of swords, which are entirely out of place in suchrooms. They have been counted and are found to number nine. I shall beobliged if you sign this receipt for them, accept delivery of thesame, and remove them from the premises at your earliest convenience."

  So I signed the receipt without a word and handed it back to him. ThenI said,--

  "I will send my servant for the swords as soon as I return to theinn."

  He inclined his head the merest trifle, drew some papers toward him,and adjusted his glasses.

  "It is my duty to tell you, Mr. O'Ruddy, that if you go into thecourts with this case you will assuredly be defeated, and the costswill follow. There is also a possibility that when the civilproceedings are determined a criminal action against yourself mayensue."

  "I told you, sir," said I, with my heart sinking, "I had no intentionof troubling the courts at all at all. In the land I come from we aremore inclined to settle a case with a good stout blackthorn than withthe aid of a lawyer's wig. These papers say in black and white that Iam the owner of Brede estate, and I intend to take possession of it."

  "It is only right to add," continued Brooks, with that great air ofcalm I found so exasperating, "it is only right to add that you are ina position to cause great annoyance to the Earl of Westport. You canat least cast doubt on his title to the estate; and he stands thisjeopardy, that if contrary to opinion your cause should provesuccessful,--and we must never forget that the law is veryuncertain,--the Earl would have to account for the moneys he has drawnfrom the estate, which would run into many thousands of pounds, and,together with the loss of the property, would confront his lordshipwith a most serious situation. Your case, therefore, though weak froma strictly legal point of view, is exceptionally strong as a basis forcompromise."

  These words cheered me more than I can say, and it is an extraordinaryfact that his frozen, even tone, and his lack of all interest in theproceedings had an elevating effect upon my spirits which I could nothave believed possible.

  "As it is a compromise that I'm after," said I, "what better case canwe want?"

  "Quite so," he resumed; "but as there is no encouragement in thestrictly legal aspect of the plea, you will understand that nomoney-lender in London will advance a farthing on such unstablesecurity. Even though I am acting in your interests, I could not takethe responsibility of advising any capitalist to advance money on suchuncertain tenure."

  This threw me into the depths again; for, although I never care tomeet trouble half way, I could not conceal from myself the fact thatmy bill at the "Pig and Turnip" had already reached proportions whichleft me no alternative but to slip quietly away in liquidation of theaccount. This was a thing I never liked to do; and when I am compelledto make that settlement I always take note of the amount, so that Imay pay it if I am ever that way again and have more money than I needat the moment. Even if I succeeded in getting away from the inn, whatcould I do at Brede with no money at all?--for in that part of thecountry they would certainly look upon the Earl of Westport as thereal owner of the property, and on me as a mere interloper; and if Icould not get money on the documents in London, there was littlechance of getting credit even for food at Brede.

  "It is rather a blue look-out then," said I as cheerfully as I could.

  "From a legal standpoint it is," concurred Mr. Brooks, as unconcernedas if his own payment did not depend on my raising the wind with thesepapers. "However, I have been instructed by a person who need not benamed, who has indeed stipulated that no name shall be mentioned, toadvance you the sum of five hundred guineas, which I have here in mydrawer, and which I will now proceed to count out to you if you, inthe mean time, will sign this receipt, which acquits me of allresponsibility and certifies that I have handed the money over to youwithout rebate or reduction."

  And with that the man pulled open a drawer and began to count out theglittering gold.

  I sprang to my feet and brought my fist down on the table with athump. "Now, by the Great Book of Kells, what do you mean by choppingand changing like a rudderless lugger in a ten-knot breeze? If theexpedition is possible, and you had the money in your drawer all thetime, why couldn't you have spoken it out like a man, without raisingme to the roof and dropping me into the cellar in the way you'vedone?"

  The man looked unruffled across the table at me. He pushed a paper alittle farther from him, and said without any trace of emotion:

  "Will you sign that receipt at the bottom, if you please?"

  I sat down and signed it, but I would rather have jabbed a pen betweenhis close-set lips to give him a taste of his own ink. Then I satquiet and watched him count the gold, placing it all in neat littlepillars before him. When it was finished, he said:

  "Will you check the amount?"

  "Is that gold mine?" I asked him.

  "It is," he replied.

  So I rose up without more ado and shovelled it into my pockets, andhe put the receipt into the drawer after reading it over carefully,and arched his eyebrows without saying anything when he saw me pocketthe coins uncounted.

  "I wish you good afternoon," said I.

  "I have to detain you one moment longer," he replied. "I have it onthe most trustworthy information that the Earl of Westport is alreadyaware of your intention to proceed to the country estate alleged to beowned by him. Your outgoings and incomings are watched, and I have toinform you that unless you proceed to Rye with extreme caution thereis likelihood that you may be waylaid, and perchance violence offeredto you."

  "In that case I will reap a few more swords; but you need not fear, Ishall not trouble you with them."

  "They are out of place in a solicitor's chamber," he murmured gently."Is there anything further I can do for you?"

  "Yes," I said, "there is one thing more. I would be obliged if youcould make me a bundle of lega
l-looking papers that are of no furtheruse to you: a sheet of that parchment, and some of the blue stuff likewhat I carried. The Earl seems determined to have a packet of papersfrom me, and I would like to oblige him, as he's going to be myfather-in-law, although he doesn't know it. I'd like some writing onthese papers,--Latin for preference."

  Josiah Brooks thought steadily for a few moments, then he called outand the melancholy rusty man came in. He took a few instructions andwent out again. After a long time he entered once more and placed onthe table a packet I would have sworn was my own. This the lawyerhanded to me without a word, and the rusty man held open the door forme. So, with the bogus papers in my pocket, not to mention the genuinegold, I took my leave of Josiah and the Temple.

  As soon as I was outside I saw at once that there was no time to belost. If the Earl had guessed my intention, as was hinted, what wouldhe do? Whenever I wish to answer a question like that to myself, Ithink what would I do if I were in the position of the other man. Nowwhat I would have done, was this, if I were the Earl of Westport. Iwould send down to Brede all the ruffians at my disposal and garrisonthe house with them; and if the Earl did this, I would be on theoutside, and he on the inside with advantage over me accordingly. Mostmen fight better behind stone walls than out in the open; and,besides, a few men can garrison a barracks that five hundred cannottake by assault. However, as it turned out, I was crediting the Earlwith brains equal to my own, which in truth neither he nor any of hisfollowers had below their bonnets. He trusted to intercepting me onthe highway, just as if he hadn't already failed in that trick. But ittakes a score of failures to convince an Englishman that he is on thewrong track altogether, while an Irishman has so many plans in hishead that there's never time to try one of them twice in succession.But if I was wrong about the Earl, I was right about his daughter,when I suspected that she gave the lawyer the information about theEarl's knowledge of my plans, and I was also right when I credited thedear girl with drawing on her own funds to give me the goldenguineas,--"and may each one of them," said I to myself, "prove agolden blessing on her head."

  At any rate, there was no time to be lost, so I made straight toFather Donovan and asked him would he be ready to begin the journey toRye after an early breakfast with me at the "Pig and Turnip."

  You never saw a man in your life so delighted at the prospect ofleaving London as was Father Donovan, and indeed I was glad to getaway from the place myself. The good father said the big town confusedhim; and, although he was glad to have seen it, he was more happystill to get out of it and breathe a breath of fresh country air oncemore. So it was arranged that he would come to the "Pig and Turnip"next morning between six and seven o'clock. I then turned back to theshop of a tailor who for a long time had had two suits of clothingwaiting for me that were entirely elegant in their design. The tailor,however, would not take the word of a gentleman that payment wouldfollow the delivery of the costumes; for a little later would be moreconvenient for me to give him the money, and this made me doubt, inspite of the buttons and gold lace, if the garments were quite thefashionable cut, because a tailor who demands money on the spot showshe is entirely unaccustomed to deal with the upper classes; but Ineeded these clothes, as the two suits I possessed were getting alittle the worse for wear.

  When I went into his shop he was inclined to be haughty, thinking Ihad come to ask credit again; but when he saw the glitter of the moneythe man became obsequious to a degree that I never had witnessedbefore. I was affable to him, but distant; and when he offered meeverything that was in his shop, I told him I would take time andconsider it. He sent a servant following behind me with the goods, andso I came once more to the "Pig and Turnip," where I ordered Paddy andJem to go to the Temple and fetch away the swords.

  There seemed to be a pleased surprise on the face of the landlord whenI called for my bill and paid it without question, chiding him for hisdelay in not sending it before. I engaged a horse for Father Donovanto ride on the following morning, and ordered breakfast ready at sixo'clock, although I gave my commands that I was to be wakened an hourbefore daylight.

  I spent the rest of the day in my room with Paddy and Jem, trying toknock into their heads some little notion of geography, wishing tomake certain that they would sooner or later arrive in Rye withoutstumbling in on Belfast while on the way. My own knowledge of the faceof the country was but meagre, so the landlord brought in a rough mapof the south of England, and I cautioned the lads to get across LondonBridge and make for the town of Maidstone, from where they could godue south, and if they happened on the coast they were to inquire forRye and stay there until further orders. Jem Bottles, who thought hehad brains in his head, said he would not be so open in telling everyone we were going to Rye if he was me, because he was sure the Earlhad people on the look-out, and money was plenty with his lordship. Ifevery one knew when we were taking our departure, there would be nodifficulty in following us and overcoming us on some lonely part ofthe road.

  "Jem," said I, "that's all very true; but when they attacked us beforethey got very little change for their trouble; and if you are afraidof some slight commotion on the road, then you can stay back here inLondon."

  "I am not afraid at all," said Jem, "but if there's anythingparticular you would like to see in Rye, there's no use in blockingthe road to it."

  "Sure, Jem, then be quiet about it."

  Turning to the landlord, who was standing by, I said to him:

  "My men fear we are going to be intercepted, so I think if I began thejourney some time before daylight, and they followed me soon after, Imight slip away unnoticed."

  The landlord scratched his head and crinkled up his brow, for to thinkwas unusual with him.

  "I don't see," he said at last, "what you have to gain by goingseparately. It seems to me it would be better to go in a body, andthen, if you are set on, there are three instead of one."

  "Very well," said I, "I'll take your caution into consideration, andact upon it or not as seems best when the time comes."

  I told Paddy and Jem to sleep that night on the floor of my own room,and cautioned them to wake me an hour before daylight at the latest.Jem slept through until I had to kick him into consciousness; but poorPaddy, on the other hand, wakened me four times during the night,--thefirst time two hours after I had gone to sleep, and I could havecudgelled him for his pains, only I knew the lad's intentions weregood. The last time I could stand it no longer, although it was stillearlier than the hour I had said, so I got up and dressed myself inone of my new suits.

  "And here, Paddy," said I, "you will wear the costume I had onyesterday."

  "I couldn't think of it," said Paddy, drawing back from the grandeur.

  "You are not to think, you impudent gossoon, but to do as I tell you.Put them on, and be as quick as you can."

  "Troth, yer honour," said Paddy, still shrinking from them, "they'retoo grand for the likes o' me, an' few will be able to tell the differatween us."

  "You conceited spalpeen, do ye think there's no difference between usbut what the clothes make? Get into them. I intend certain otherpeople to take you for me in the dark, and I can warrant you theseclothes, grand as you think them, will be very soundly beaten beforethis day is done with."

  "Ochone, ochone," moaned Paddy, "am I to get another beating already,and some of the bruises not yet off my flesh?"

  "Put on the coat now, and don't do so much talking. Sure it's all inthe day's work, and I promise you before long you'll have your revengeon them."

  "It's not revenge I'm after," wailed Paddy, "but a whole skin."

  "Now you're transformed into a gentleman," said I, "and many a ladwould take a beating for the privilege of wearing such gorgeousraiment. Here is a packet of paper that you're to keep in your pockettill it's taken away from you. And now I'll help you to saddle thehorse, and once you're across London Bridge you'll likely come uponMaidstone and Rye some time in your life, for you can't get back overthe river again except by the same bridge, so you'll know it
when youcome to it."

  And so I mounted Paddy in the courtyard; the sleepy watchman undid thebolts in the big gate in the archway; and my man rode out into thedarkness in no very cheerful humour over his journey. I came back andtook forty winks more in the arm-chair, then, with much difficulty, Iroused Jem Bottles. He also, without a murmur, but with much pride inhis dressing, put on the second of my discarded suits, and seemed tofancy himself mightily in his new gear. With plenty of cord I tied andretied the two bundles of swords and placed them across the horse infront of his saddle, and it was not yet daylight when Jem jingled outinto the street like a moving armoury. Two huge pistols were in hisholsters, loaded and ready to his hand.

  "By the Saints," said Jem proudly, "the man that meddles with me shallget hot lead or cold steel for his breakfast," and with that he wentoff at a canter, waking the echoes with the clash of his horse's shoeson the cobble-stones.

  I went up stairs again and threw myself down on the bed and sleptpeacefully with no Paddy to rouse me until half-past-six, when adrawer knocked at the door and said that a priest that was downstairswould be glad to see me. I had him up in a jiffy, and a hot breakfastfollowing fast on his heels, which we both laid in in quantities, forneither of us knew where our next meal was to be. However, the goodfather paid little thought to the future as long as the present mealwas well served and satisfactory. He had no more idea than a springlamb how we were to get to Rye, but thought perhaps a coach set outat that hour in the morning. When I told him I had a horse saddled andwaiting for him, he was pleased, for Father Donovan could scamperacross the country in Ireland with the best of them. So far as I couldjudge, the coast was clear, for every one we met between the "Pig andTurnip" and the bridge seemed honest folk intent on getting early totheir work. It was ten minutes past seven when we clattered across thebridge and set our faces toward Rye.