by Eva Haining
“What the fuck?”
I hang up the call before I say anything else I’ll regret in the morning. My hands are buzzing as my chest constricts. I know we said this was only a fling, but I thought maybe we were on the same page, that perhaps we could try to be more—I guess I was wrong. The thought of him going out tonight and finding another woman to sate his needs makes me feel physically sick.
I told him something real and painful from my past, and he reduced me to nothing more than willing pussy.
Why didn’t I just keep my mouth shut?
Nine
KNOX
“What’s got you so antsy today, bro. You’re supposed to be chilled when you’re getting laid daily.” I’m not in the mood for Jax’s pearls of wisdom today, but they asked me down to the ranch today to hammer out the final details of bringing the farm into the fold.
“Getting laid isn’t the problem. My stupid mouth is, however, a giant problem.”
“What the hell did you say?”
“She started talking about long-distance, and I shot her down. It just went downhill from there and somehow ended up with me saying it doesn’t matter who I’m fucking. Then she quite rightly told me to go fuck myself.”
“Bro, that’s cold. The girl came all this way to get down and dirty with you for a month, the least you can do is tell her she’s the only one and she’s the best sex of your life. Even I wasn’t that cold back in the day.” Jax enjoys winding me up. I think it’s one of his great pleasures in life. Mad simply gives me a sympathy nod.
“I don’t know why the hell I said it. She’s literally the best sex I’ve ever had. That girl rides my cock like it’s a bucking bronco. And her mouth… holy shit.”
“Then, what’s your problem?”
“That’s the million-dollar question, my friend. Hell if I know.”
“Shit! Knox, the reigning bed-notch king has gone and found himself some feelings.”
“Why do you have to ride everyone who falls for a girl?” Mad comes to my aid. “You’re the worst offender. I remember when you first met Savannah and couldn’t get her to give you the time day. It was pathetic.”
“Dang. Nice burn, Mad.”
Jax shoves my shoulder. “Don’t listen to him, he’s been all misty-eyed over the same woman since kindergarten.”
“Okay, the difference here is that y’all married those women. That’s not going to happen with Belle. She’s leaving and is going to be a huge star. We all know what happened the last time I tried to date a woman on the rise. This is just supposed to be easy and fun, but we’re already fighting.”
“It’s all shits and giggles until someone giggles and shits.”
“Said like a true poet, Jax. Now can we get back to business?”
“Good idea,” Mad interjects. “I know I’ve asked this a million times, but are you sure about this? What’s your old man’s take on the idea?”
“The farm is officially mine on paper, so he doesn’t technically have to be okay with it. He’ll get a tidy sum during his retirement, and I get to branch out a little. He’s actually psyched about it, though, so that makes it easier. I’m looking forward to it. I’ve already drawn up plans for the new building.”
“Excellent. So, all that’s left is to sign on the dotted line and get this shindig started.”
This is a chance to put my stamp on the farm moving forward. I grab the pen and sign my name. Mad and Jax shake my hand. “Looking forward to doing business together.”
“Me, too.”
“Why don’t you and Belle come over later? We’ll have some drinks to celebrate, and Jax here will fire up the grill.”
“I love how you just offer up my services as chef for the night.”
“You always complain that I don’t do the ribs the way you do. Secret rubs and sauces, you know you love it.”
“He’s not wrong.” Jax chuckles to himself. “My ribs are way better than his.”
“I’ll see if Belle’s up for it and text you later. Sounds good to me, we should be celebrating.”
“Cool. Tell that girl of yours to bring her guitar.”
“Can y’all just avoid calling her ‘my girl’ when I bring her?”
“Scout’s honor.” Jax does an overexaggerated scout salute.
“You’re going to embarrass the fuck out of me, aren’t you?” He just laughs, and Mad nods his head, confirming my suspicions.
“He can’t help it, bro, it’s like a disease with him. Probably some STD from his days as the town lothario, rotting what few brain cells he actually has left.”
I throw my head back and let out a full-on belly laugh. I wasn’t expecting that, and I needed some amusement today.
As I head off, I hear Jax giving Mad shit for suggesting he’s rocking some syphilis. I’m hoping Belle wants to help me celebrate my new business venture tonight. Heck, I’m not even sure she’ll want to see me. I really made a mess of things last night. We seem to be out of step with each other for some reason. I just want to throw her over my shoulder and take her back to my place.
Selfishly, I crave her body. I want to savor every night with her until she’s gone. Don’t get me wrong, I love spending time with her outside the bedroom, and when she calls me at odd times of day, I like to FaceTime with her. She’s quirky and cute as well as being sexy as hell and the best sex I’ve ever had. Maybe that’s why I’m so frustrated that things are off-kilter. I only have a few weeks to have mind-blowing, life-altering sex with her, and what guy in his right mind would be happy about the lack of sex they’re having with the hottest woman they’ve ever met?
I go straight to the farmhouse, ready to apologize for being a colossal dick last night, and then I plan to make it up to her with a handful of orgasms she won’t forget. Then, if she doesn’t kick me to the curb, I’ll take her for drinks and barbecue at the ranch. When I pull up to the house and kill the engine, I can hear Belle singing her heart out. There’s a reason she got a five-album deal—her voice is incredible.
Standing in the doorway, I drink her in, the sound of her voice filling my future home with such vibrance. If only it could stay this way.
“Hey, girl. Quite the set of pipes you’ve got on you. Have you ever considered a career in music?” She turns to face me with that gorgeous face of hers, but she’s wary, dropping her gaze to the floor.
“I’m thinking about it.”
“You definitely should.” I’m rewarded with a small grin creeping at the corner of her lips, even though she’s trying to hide it. She’s wearing impossibly small booty shorts and a white t-shirt that’s covered in paint, and I’m hard just looking at her. Now the idea of taking her down to the ranch tonight seems like a wasted opportunity. I’d much rather get her naked and celebrate in other ways.
She wanders over to where I’m standing, dumbstruck, admiring every line and curve of her body. “Hey.” She leans in, about to press a kiss to my lips like it’s a habit she’s had for years, but she stops herself, remembering I’m not her favorite person right now. Before she gets a chance to walk away, I slide my hands into her hair, pulling her in for a kiss, darting my tongue out to taste her lips and beg forgiveness.
My chest aches as I devour her, desperate for more. She moans as she braces her hands on my chest and pushes me away. “I’m still pissed at you.” Her words hit me like a punch to the gut.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to say that dumb shit.” Before she has a chance to rebuke my pathetic attempt at an apology, I find myself blurting about Mustang as if I hadn’t even heard her. “We’ve been invited down to the ranch to celebrate.”
“What are they celebrating, and why would you want me to come?”
“I went into business with them today. We’ll be extending their horse therapy center to include a location on the farm for other animals. And I want you to come because… Mad wants you to bring your guitar.” Why did I say that? Fuck me, I lose all smooth-talking capabilities around this woman.
“That�
�s amazing news about the farm! I’m glad Mad wants me to join the party. I guess I’ll go and shower.” She pulls her shirt over her head and drops it to the floor. She’s not wearing a bra, and I find myself biting down so hard on my knuckles that I draw blood. I fix myself to the spot, unable to look away when she sashays down the hallway, knowing exactly what she’s doing to me.
“Is thirty minutes enough time for you to get ready?” The sight of her has me wanting to drop to my knees and tell her exactly how I’m feeling before ravishing her all night long. Instead, I just watch her like a fucking eunuch.
My dick seriously hates me right now.
“Sure.” She disappears into my future bedroom, and I’m left contemplating how I’m managing to screw this up already. I know I’m throwing out all kinds of mixed signals, but she makes me feel all kinds of fucked up. I want her, but I don’t want to want her if that even makes sense. She said four weeks of no-strings sex, and yet here we are in complicated territory already.
I busy myself cleaning the paintbrushes and take a moment to admire the work Belle’s been doing. She could sit at my place and while away the hours binge-watching Netflix or writing songs. The fact that she comes down here every day and works on making my house a home only serves to muddy the waters between us even more. A fling doesn’t paint your house.
When Belle emerges from the bedroom looking sexy as hell, I have to adjust my cock as it begins to harden. She hovers in the doorway.
“How do I look?”
“Beautiful. Where did you get a change of clothes?”
“I went back to your place during the day and grabbed my stuff.”
“Okay. So, were you planning just to stay here, or were you getting your bag for a quick getaway?” I don’t think I want to know the answer.
“I don’t know.” Fuck! In my heart of hearts, I didn’t believe she’d consider leaving. I can’t deal with this right now because everything I’m feeling is too fucking overwhelming.
“Wow. Okay, then, while you figure that out, we need to shake a leg. The guys will be waiting for us. Never cross a cowboy on an empty stomach.” Belle grabs her phone without saying another word, heading out the front door. My pulse is racing, pounding so hard it’s whooshing in my ears.
Tonight is going to be a clusterfuck of tension. Belle doesn’t say a word on the car ride over to the ranch. “Do you want to turn around? If you’re not up for this, we can go back to my place.”
“And do what? Stare at each other? Fight some more? Or you can regale me with stories of all the women who are so interchangeable in your sex life.”
“Jesus Christ, Belle. What’s your problem? You’re the one who just announced that you were thinking about breezing out of town today. I’m not the one packing a bag to make a run for it.” As the ranch comes into view, there’s nothing I want to do less than ‘celebrate’ right now.
“You fucking live here! Of course, you wouldn’t be packing a damn bag.”
“You know what I meant. Would you have said goodbye? Were you planning on leaving me a fucking Dear John letter, or was I getting ghosted?”
She’s about to answer when Maddox and his wife, A.B., appear on the porch outside their house.
“They’re waiting for us. We can talk about this later.” She heads in A.B.’s direction before I get a chance to say anything more on the topic. So much for a celebration.
The guys are grilling out back and toss me a beer the moment I’m within throwing distance.
“Why’s your face tripping you, Knox? This is supposed to be a good night. You look like you’ve just been chewing a hornet’s nest.”
“Hey, Jax, don’t give me crap tonight. I’m not in the mood.”
“Well, shit. Are y’all still fighting? You were supposed to grovel and apologize before coming here. It’s going to be awkward as fuck.”
“Yep.”
They both look to where Belle is laughing and joking with their wives. “She looks just fine. Are you sure it isn’t a one-sided argument?”
“Fucked if I know. I don’t think I’ll ever understand women.”
“That’s your problem. You’ll never understand them. Once you realize that, everything gets easier.”
“Sage advice, Jax. Y’all got anything stronger than beer? I need a real drink.”
“Now we’re talking. Bourbon good enough?”
“Yep, and keep ‘em coming.”
I try not to stare at Belle like a creeper, but it’s impossible to be within ten feet of her and not be drawn in. Kirby and his wife, Lottie, arrive with their kids, who disappear into the hay fields to find their friends.
“I brought reinforcements.” Kirby holds out a bottle of Jack which I unceremoniously open, pour myself a double shot, and sling it back.
“You’re a good friend, Kirby.”
“Because I supply all the alcohol in his town?”
“That, too. You’ve got your shit together. How did you do it?”
Kirby looks to Mad and Jax for an explanation.
“He’s having woman trouble.” Jax enjoys saying that way too much. “I don’t know what he’s caterwauling about, she hasn’t taken her eyes off him since they got here.”
My eyes snap to where Belle is standing, her eyes flitting between my friends’ wives and me.
“You’ve got it bad, bro,” Kirby interjects, followed by agreement from Mad and Jax.
“It’s fine for y’all to sit back and smack-talk me, you’ve already found the women of your dreams.” As the words leave my lips, I hear a car pulling into the gravel driveway.
“Tell me that’s not who I think it is.” My heart sinks.
Mad gives me the look—the pity stare. “A.B. invited Maisie. Sorry, bro. It was a last-minute thing.”
“Fuck me. You couldn’t shoot me a text or something to give me a head’s up?” I grab the bottle and dispel it with the glass.
“Go easy, Knox, you don’t want to make a scene, and my experience with alcohol is testament to the fact that a guy can’t be drunk without doing or saying at least one thing he’ll regret in the morning.” Of course, the resident bartender in town knows all our dirty little secrets and drunken mistakes.
“We’re celebrating, Kirby. Cheers to my wildly successful ex and her husband crashing the party!” I knock back at least another few shots by the time Maisie and her movie-star husband, J.J. Savage, appear looking all loved-up and happy. Awesome.
Maisie makes a beeline for me, and I can see Belle looking puzzled. “Can we talk?”
“Not a good time, old friend. My date is looking decidedly annoyed right now and devoid of a drink. It wouldn’t be the southern, gentlemanly way if I left her empty-handed.”
“Thomas, I want us to be friends.”
“We are. I came to your wedding, what more do you want from me?”
“We have the same circle of friends. Eventually, you’ll need to give Jasper a chance. He’s a good person.”
“I’m going to stop you there because I don’t want to cause a scene. I don’t give a fuck about J.J. Savage, and I don’t need to do anything. Y’all just go about your business. You and I weren’t even a big deal, so just forget about it already. I have.” I know I’ve hurt her feelings without seeing her face. I’m two for two on pissing women off today. I turn on my heels and head for the house. I’m sure someone needs something—anything—from the refrigerator.
I take a few deep breaths and down a full bottle of water, attempting to compose myself when a familiar voice appears in the doorway. “Look, Thomas, I know you don’t like me, and with good reason.”
“Go away, J.J.”
“I can’t do that. We live in the same town for the most part. Maisie is really cut up that you guys aren’t on the best of terms these days.” If I need to stand here and listen to his manure monologue for another second, I’m going to lose my shit.
“Seriously, leave me alone.”
“Come on. You guys weren’t even serious. Can’t we p
ut it behind us and be friends?”
I turn to face him and let my fist fly, hitting him square in the jaw.
“I told you to leave me the fuck alone, Hollywood. You don’t know the first thing about me.”
He wipes his thumb over his bottom lip, a satisfying smear of blood on his mouth.
“That’s your free shot. Hit me again, and I’ll kick your ass.”
“I’d like to see you try. You going to put on your fake cowboy costume and try to play with the big boys?”
“I don’t know what the hell she ever saw in you.” He moves to leave, but Jax and Mad appear at the back door.
“What the fuck are you doing?” Lucky for them, Mad’s words are directed at pretty boy.
“I just wanted to clear the air. Apparently, that’s not in the cards anytime soon.”
“This was a bad idea. Sorry guys.” Mad shows genuine remorse for the situation we find ourselves in at this moment. “I thought y’all could manage to be civil.”
I move to the sink, running my hand under the cold water. That motherfucker has a strong jaw. “Civil, yes. Friends, no. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go and check on my date.” I leave pretty boy with Mad and Jax and head outside.
The second Belle sees me nursing my hand, she leaves the others and comes jogging to my side. “Are you okay?”
“Peachy.”
She takes my hand, inspecting the damage. “You hit him? Are you drunk or just stupid?”
“You know what they say, you can’t argue with stupid. He deserved it.”
“I thought you were over her.” My eyes snap to hers. She knows about Maisie?
“Who told you?”
“That’s where you were supposed to say, ‘yes, Belle, I’m over her.’”
“I am, but I want to know who fucking told you?”
“It doesn’t matter. Clearly, you don’t trust me enough to confide in me.”
“Are you kidding right now? I’ve got my dick hanging out, swinging in the breeze with you. I’ve made it pretty fucking obvious that I like you, more than just a casual fuck.”
