Trust

by Riley Edwards

  “No, you don’t see. That’s the problem. You’ve never seen.”

  “What haven’t I seen, Laura?” he demanded.

  I hated that name. I hated every fucking thing it meant.

  “That’s not my name!” I yelled.

  And then the dam broke.

  Everything I didn’t want Mac to know came spewing out in a tidal wave of indignation and resentment. “I hate that name. Number seventeen. At first, I picked my new names with care. Something pretty. Somewhere around name ten, I stopped caring. It didn’t matter how pretty my new name was, my life was still ugly. Frankie had made sure of it. He made sure he took everything I loved. Did you know I went back to Long Island to pick up my pointe shoes? Fucking shoes. I had ten other pairs at home in the city, but I wanted that pair. They were my favorite. I went home and watched my brother shoot a child, then turn his monstrous hands on a woman and beat her. He killed a little brown-haired boy because his father hadn’t paid a debt. Wanna know how much? Five thousand measly fucking dollars. Five, Mac! Five, five, five…” I screamed.

  “Baby,” Mac whispered and reached for me.

  “No.” I pulled away. “You want my secrets—fine. You can have them all. I don’t want them anymore. I don’t want this life! This isn’t my life. I had a life and it was perfect. I should’ve known it would be taken away. I didn’t deserve it. I have Russo blood in my veins—evil, nasty, tainted blood. Frankie made a grave mistake the night he thought he was going to teach me about family loyalty. He started by taking away the one thing that mattered to me most in the world. Once he broke my legs, I had nothing more to lose. Nothing to live for. There’s my secret, Mac. I’m a mafia princess. Still want me? My brother is serving a life sentence in a federal penitentiary because I’m a rat. How ‘bout now? And if that wasn’t enough, there is a million-dollar price tag on my head. I’m a bad bet, Mac. Cut your losses and walk away.”

  “A ballerina,” Mac said, and my heart squeezed. “Long toned perfect legs.”

  Anger welled in my belly and bubbled up into my throat, threatening to choke me. “Perfect?” I spat, the word tasting like bile on my tongue. “Frankie made sure they’d never be perfect again.”

  “I can see it. You in a beautiful dress with layers of silk and soft lace. Graceful and fluid in your movements. Stunningly beautiful on stage, holding the audience captive with your elegance.”

  “Stop.”

  “Trust me to take care of you.”

  I shook my head.

  “Trust me,” he semi-repeated.

  He was being a hard-headed man. He couldn’t fix this for me. There was no changing my life. I realized it didn’t matter what I told him, how I tried to explain it, he was never going to listen to me.

  “Harper!” he growled.

  My eyes shot to his as they narrowed on me. His jaw was ticking, and I could see his heartbeat pounding on the side of his neck.

  “He’ll kill you. He’ll find you and kill you.”

  “I won’t let that happen.” Damn stubborn ass man.

  “You think that. But unless you’ve been hiding a cape somewhere, his men will find you. They’ll use you to get to me. How can you want me to live with that? If something happens to you, I will let them kill me. I won’t live knowing you died because of me. I can’t, Aiden. I can’t. I hate my brother. I detest the monster he is. I loathe the mob. But the thing I despise him most for—is taking you from me.”

  Mac didn’t let me finish. His lips were on mine, demanding entrance. This wasn’t a soft and enticing kiss. This was something more; demanding, rough, possessing. He swung me into his arms like he had hundreds of times and stalked up the stairs, breaking the kiss to lie me on the bed.

  “Trust me,” he demanded. He pulled his shirt over his head and casually tossed it aside. “I’ll keep you safe.” He toed off his boots and off came his jeans, pulling his boxers down with them. “I promise no one will hurt you again. I can’t lose you, baby. I lived it for two days and I was going out of my goddamned mind. Trust me to keep us both safe and stay here with me. Stay and let me love you.” There Mac stood, completely unmasked, staring down at me. Vulnerable. He wasn’t hiding anything from me. Not his body, not his thoughts, not even his love for me.

  “I’m scared.”

  Mac pulled off my shoes and let them fall on the floor. His hands went to the button of my pants and made quick work of unbuttoning them, pulling the zipper, and dragging them down my legs, divesting me of my panties with them.

  “So beautiful,” he murmured.

  So horrid was more like it.

  “Exquisite,” he said, lifting my leg and kissing my ankle, stopping at the beginning of my long surgical scar. I tried to pull my leg away and his grip tightened. “My beautiful Harper, the ballerina.”

  “Stop,” I begged as he kissed over my scar.

  “Talented. Determined. So fucking strong.” Mac kissed up my thigh, my pelvis, over my belly button, pushing my shirt up as he went. He stopped, gathering it above my breasts. “Trust. Me.”

  The cool air of the room made my nipples pucker as he pulled the cups of my bra down, pushing my breasts together and putting them on display. His tongue lashed out, leaving a wet trail over my nipple that had my back bowing, reaching for more.

  My skin heated as his thick cock hardened on my thigh. Yes. This was what I needed. No more talking. I spread my legs, trying to maneuver him where I wanted. Mac’s teeth clamped down on my nipple, halting my movements.

  “Do. Not. Move.” The command in his voice caused an involuntary tremor to rock through my body. Mac lowered his head and went back to lavishing my breasts with careful attention. When he was done thoroughly working me up to a fevered pitch, he moved over me, settling into the cradle of my hips. Yet, he still didn’t take me. Both hands came to my face, forcing me to look at him. There was no escaping his penetrating stare. No hiding.

  This was Mac. Always demanding my full attention.

  “I want you to listen carefully, Harper. I’ve decided I’m no longer asking. I’m taking. This…” he stopped and fingered my collar, “means that you already trust me. You’ve already handed your safety and care over to me. And deep down inside, even if you can’t admit it out loud, you know it’s true. You trust me with your body, the gift of your submission, and you sure as shit know down to your bones I will protect you with my life. You recognize it, and that’s why you're scared. But I promise you, baby, I will protect you. And if I die trying? That is my choice to make. You’re not pushing me away. You’re not running. You are not alone. Not anymore.”

  Mac gently brushed the tear off my cheek and then swept his lips against mine. It was a soft touch, tender, and so damn sweet more tears fell.

  I wasn’t sure if it was relief or fear and Mac didn’t give me a chance to explore those feelings too long before he slid inside me. Giving me slow long strokes, he held my gaze, not allowing me to break eye contact.

  Possession.

  Total and complete possession. Everything he had said was the truth. I knew that he would protect me at the expense of his own life and that scared me the most.

  My hips moved and synced with the now demanding pace of Mac’s thrusts. The growl that answered my purr sent shockwaves through my body. The erotic symphony of grunts and moans filled the room, intensifying my desire.

  “So slick,” Mac groaned, sliding one hand under my ass. “Hands, Harper. I want you to touch me.”

  On his command, my hands snaked around his back. My nails scored his skin as I explored his hard muscles, flexing and contracting with exertion under my fingertips. His thrusts quickened and the slow burn he was building turned fast and incendiary. The throbbing started and a fine sheen of sweat coated my skin.

  “Aiden,” I panted.

  “I’m with you, baby. Hold on a little longer.”

  Mac adjusted his angle and I couldn’t hold out. The explosion detonated, and my vision blurred.

  “Please,” I forced out.r />
  “Fuck. Harper!” Mac slammed into me and stayed planted deep. “So good, baby.”

  His cock swelled and throbbed as he joined me in ecstasy. Our orgasms mingled together, coating his dick as he slowly glided in and out.

  Coming to a stop, and with a lingering kiss, he announced, “Be back.”

  I lost his cock but got his lips again, in a soft brush across my throat above my collar. A touch that was familiar and comforting. My legs didn’t loosen even though Mac was trying to disengage. I didn’t want him to move. I didn’t want to lose the connection and safety I had when he was close.

  When his gaze came up from my neck to meet mine, he gave me a lazy smile. It was cocky and full of mirth. “I love that you wanna keep those sexy legs wrapped around me. But, baby, I’m hungry and need to clean you up before I eat.”

  He winked and broke the lock my legs had around his waist. He disappeared into the bathroom, coming back to the bed with a washcloth in his hand. Mac was thorough; gently washing my most private parts. Through it all, I kept my legs spread wide for him. His hungry regard only gave him more to clean as a fresh wave of lust rushed through my body.

  “Fuck,” Mac muttered and traced my opening with a long, thick finger; dipping it in my pussy just a fraction before pulling it out, spreading moisture up to my clit. “So fucking sexy.” Mac finished with the washcloth and carelessly tossed it aside before he climbed back onto the bed, stretching out next to me, propping his head on a bent elbow, his other hand gently trailing up and down my hip. “There is never an hour, a minute, a second of the day, I don’t dream about when I can sink back into you and fuck you into oblivion. You make me forget the world, Harper. When I’m surrounded in your heat, nothing else exists. Nothing matters but what we create. I’m never letting you go. If I have to quit my job and run with you, I will. There is nothing in my life that matters the way you do.”

  I could feel his eyes on me, but I didn’t dare meet his stare. The terror and excitement mixed together in a content beat of juxtaposition. Despite or maybe because of how much I loved Mac, I struggled with staying. It was selfish to keep him, even though I wanted nothing more than to wrap myself in the safety he offered. I was scared to death.

  “You don’t even know me.”

  Everything had been a lie.

  11

  hold on

  Mac

  “I know you.”

  “You didn’t even know my name,” she murmured as if that meant a goddamned thing. Now she was just being difficult to be difficult.

  “I don’t need to know your name to know your heart. Laura, Harper, fucking Mary Jo Anderson, your name doesn’t mean jack shit to me. Your past doesn’t mean jack shit. Your brother, the family you were born into, none of that matters now. I know you and that’s what matters.”

  Laura slowly raised her eyes to meet mine.

  Harper.

  I had to start thinking of her as Harper.

  “What’s your name now?” The thought struck me that before I started down the path of calling her Harper, I should find out what alias her and Quinn had decided on.

  “Huh?”

  “Your new name. You ditched Laura. I’m assuming you and Quinn picked a new one.”

  “Ohh.” She scrunched up her nose and her lips twisted in concentration.

  I had never seen her do that before. Even in the moments after sex when I forced her not to jump out of bed and shut me out, she always had some layer of protection around her. I was assuming this was her—unguarded. She wasn’t remembering a practiced answer or carefully choosing her words in an effort to conceal her thoughts.

  I had seen many different sides of her over the last few months. I had seen her bitchy, somewhat shy, and incredibly sexy. I had even seen her be kind and thoughtful. Though, I had never not once seen her be cute. And Harper lying next to me with the blush of post fantastic sex still on her cheeks, twisting her lips, and scrunching her nose was off the charts fucking cute.

  “We didn’t get a chance to. I hadn’t really picked one I was planning on keeping yet. I used Aubrey at the truck stop but only because that was the first name that popped into my head. And really, after what happened, I don’t want to remember that name.”

  “What happened at your house? Why didn’t you wait for Quinn?” I hated to have to talk about it and upset her, but I had to know. She broke eye contact and started to pull away. “No way. Do not close down and try to hide from me.” I wanted to pull her close, but I needed her to come to me—just this once. I don’t know why it was important, but it was. “Come here.” I rolled onto my back and moved my arm, giving her space to tuck into me.

  She did.

  Thank fuck.

  I kissed the top of her head and waited. After a few beats, she told me what happened, why she had left so suddenly and ditched her phone. As dangerous as it was for her to be without a way to communicate, she had done the smart thing. We didn’t know how Russo’s men had found her so quickly. Throughout her story, her tone became increasingly flat and detached. Each time her voice cracked, I wished I was the one that was going to end Frankie Russo’s miserable life. It wouldn’t be long before his reign of terror was over. I hated that Harper was trembling in my arms and I pulled her closer, hugging her to me.

  “I left my grandmother’s necklace. I had to leave so fast I forgot to get it. Do you think you can take me back to the house and see if it’s still there?”

  “It’s not.”

  “Oh.” Harper’s body slumped further into mine.

  “I have it, baby. It’s in my pocket.”

  Her head shot off my chest so fast I was thankful for all my years of training and jerked myself back before she could break my nose.

  “You have it? You have my grandma’s necklace? How?” From the look on Harper’s face to the bouncing on the bed in excitement, all that was missing was her clapping her hands and she’d be the perfect image of a six-year-old on Christmas morning.

  “Yes, baby.”

  “Why are you smiling at me like that?”

  “Because I like seeing you happy.”

  Her smile faded and her face gentled. “Thank you.”

  “I knew what it meant to you. I’m happy I found it.”

  “Not just for the necklace… for everything.”

  “Come ‘ere.” This time I didn’t wait for her to come to me. I knifed up, tagged her around the middle, and pulled her into me. “You’re welcome.”

  “How bad was the house?”

  “The door was kicked in, but it looked like once they realized you weren’t there, they didn’t bother with your stuff; they just left.”

  Harper burrowed further into me. Her arm tightened over my stomach and what was left of the apprehension I didn’t know I was holding onto fled.

  This.

  Harper tucked in tight at my side was what I’d been waiting for. For months, I’d had to force her to allow me to show her any sort of tenderness. Now she gave it freely, and it was better than I could’ve imagined. The doorbell rang, and she started to jump up.

  “Stay.”

  Her eyes narrowed on me and at the same time she tried to yank her arm away from me. I firmed my grip, keeping her still.

  “I’m not a dog.”

  “Harper,” I warned.

  “Aiden,” she returned.

  Goddamn, she was feisty and so fucking sexy when she was pissed.

  “You do not ever jump out of our bed. Not ever. But especially when there could be a threat. I get you’ve been taking care of yourself. And, baby, I’ll give it to you, you’ve done a good job. But now, you’re done with that.” I loosened my hold and she pulled herself free, rolling off of me. “I’ll answer the door. Please stay here. It’s probably Roni with food but let me make sure.”

  I didn’t bother waiting for her response as I tagged my pants and pulled them on. I grabbed my shirt and my gun and headed down the hall. I was barely halfway down the stairs before there was knocking at
the door, again. A quick check out the window and again through the peephole revealed Roni was getting ready to bang on the door again.

  “Damn, you’re impatient,” I said when I opened the door and stepped aside.

  “Well, Reid said you might be occupied and I was to, and I quote, knock until you get unoccupied. So don’t blame me, friend. I’m just following orders,” she quipped.

  Roni flashed a smile and walked past me empty-handed into the living room.

  “Nice place. I’ve never seen this one,” Roni commented as she took in the interior of the safe house. “Thank god, Reid didn’t try to stick you in the shit hole he calls a cabin.”

  Reid had a safe house across the Bay Bridge. It was located in the foothills of the Tennessee Valley. Roni was right, it was a shit hole. But the shack had one very valuable feature—a basement. In California, cellars are all but unheard of. The cabin was originally built as a nuclear fallout shelter. Reid mostly used it when he needed privacy when he was trying to obtain information from a person that was being difficult and didn’t want to give up the intel they knew.

  The last time I was at the cabin was the day I found out that James Kelley had killed my best friend and partner, Jacob Kelley, leaving Ava a widow and JJ without a father. Jimmy was a lowlife drug dealer and gang banger. It was a wonder Jacob and Jimmy were brothers. They were polar opposites. Jacob was everything Jimmy was not. Jimmy and I both entered the basement together. Only one of us came back up that day. I didn’t know what Rick and Austin did with his body and I didn’t care.

  I was fully aware of the crime I was committing in that basement and was prepared to pay the price should I get caught. I had made peace with my decision to end Jimmy’s life.

  “Let me grab Harper from upstairs.”

  I took the stairs two at a time and found Harper dressed and standing by the door when I entered the room.

  “You okay?” I asked.

  “Yeah.”

  “Then why are you shaking, baby?” I gathered her in my arms and hugged her close.