The Soldier's Secret Son

by Helen Lacey

  They shook hands, and Kieran spoke first. “How’s the patient?”

  Jake grinned. “Eager to stop being a patient.”

  Kieran laughed. “Well, I’m thrilled Mitch’s on the mend.” He glanced at the swipe card in Jake’s hand. “Are you checking in?”

  He shrugged. “For a few days.”

  They chatted for a few minutes about Jake’s work and about the hospital, even a little more about Mitch’s recovery. When they parted ways and Jake headed for his room, he experienced an odd sense of reconnect. He’d always though Kieran the most reasonable of the O’Sullivans, kind of like how he was sure most people thought Hank was the most likable Culhane. And was very grateful to the other man for saving his brother’s life. Plus he liked the idea of not being treated like a complete outsider in town.

  He slept like a log that night and awoke the following morning feeling refreshed, which surprised him. Since he’d been back in town his sleep had been mostly restless. He showered, changed into jeans, a long-sleeved shirt and a leather jacket and boots, and then headed downstairs to meet Hank for breakfast in the main restaurant. Out of all his siblings, Hank was the most reasonable and honest, with an abundance of integrity. He was the youngest person to have ever been appointed chief of police, a title he’d held for a few years. Jake respected his brother’s strict moral code and the way he’d shown such incredible courage all those years ago, when he’d almost been killed in a car wreck. The ordeal had galvanized them as a family—and had made Jake hate Billie-Jack more than he’d imagined he could hate anyone.

  He knew the old man was still alive, knew he lived somewhere in Arizona...but he had no interest in ever reconnecting with his father.

  “You paid that speeding fine yet?” Hank reminded him as they were shown to a table and sat down, his brother’s six-foot-three frame large enough to block the sun.

  Jake had caught a speeding ticket on his motorcycle a week earlier. “Not yet.”

  “Make sure you do,” his brother said. “Don’t want to lock you up for unpaid fines.”

  He grinned. “I’ll stop by on Monday. So, what’s good here?” he asked and picked up a menu.

  “If Abby’s cooking,” Hank remarked, “everything.”

  Jake was well acquainted with Abby’s cooking. Even before she’d graduated and headed to Paris to study, she had spent hours in the kitchen at the Triple C. He loathed that he tensed at the mere mention of her name.

  “You knew she worked here, right?” Hank asked.

  He shrugged. “I knew.”

  “Is that why we’re here?” Hank asked and grinned.

  “We’re here because you said you wanted to catch up,” he reminded his brother. “And I happen to be staying right upstairs.”

  “I thought breakfast would be a good idea,” Hank said. “You hardly touched the pizza last night.”

  A waiter appeared and took their order, and within minutes, coffee was placed in front of them. Jake noticed how everyone acknowledged his brother. Hank possessed a kind of calming, likable aura that drew people in.

  “You seeing anyone at the moment?” he asked and sugared his coffee.

  Hank shook his head. “Nah. You?”

  “Nope. Last I heard I’m afraid of commitment. What’s your excuse?”

  His brother shrugged. “No time. No woman around here that hasn’t tossed me into the friend zone.”

  “Ouch,” he said and grinned. “That’s gotta suck.”

  He didn’t hear Hank’s reply, because at that moment Abby appeared at a table about twenty feet away and began chatting to the seated patrons. She wore her chef’s coat and clogs and was talking and smiling, and the moment she noticed his presence in her restaurant was absurdly obvious. Her shoulders tightened, her mouth pressed into a thin line and she met his gaze straight on. Never in his life had he met anyone with such a unique shade of pale blue eyes. He tried not to stare at her or to notice the way her body curved in all the right places. He’d had years to get over his physical reaction to her...ample time to forget the smooth texture of her skin or the sweet taste of her lips. But seeing her brought the memories back with lightning force.

  “Are you okay?”

  Hank’s voice again, drilling into his brain and reminding him what an idiot he was. “I’m fine,” he said and dragged his gaze away.

  “Still got it bad for her, hmm?”

  Jake scowled. “Ancient history.”

  “I like Abby,” Hank remarked.

  “You’re allowed.”

  “I think she and Tom were happy. But...”

  “But?” He met his brother’s gaze. “Your point?”

  Hank shrugged. “Tom’s gone...that’s all I’m saying. And you and Abby are—”

  “Nothing to each other,” he said, cutting him off.

  “So, if I tell you she’s on her way over here, that won’t even register on your radar?”

  His shoulders twitched. “Not at all.”

  They both knew it was a lie. Seconds later, Abby was standing by the table, arms crossed, clearly trying not to look at him.

  “Good morning, gentlemen,” she said with what was clearly a forced smile.

  “Hey, Abby,” Hank said easily. “What’s good today?”

  “Pancakes,” she replied. “With bacon and maple butter.”

  Jake’s stomach groaned, and he realized he hadn’t really eaten since lunch at the ranch the previous day. He also suspected by the way Abby was deliberately avoiding his gaze that she was burning to put arsenic in his food.

  “That sounds good,” Hank said and grinned, clearly knowing exactly how uncomfortable Jake was feeling.

  “I’ll send the waiter back to take your order.”

  “I was just telling Jake how everything on the menu is good,” Hank said so casually that Jake knew something else was coming. “And since Jake is staying at the hotel now, he’ll have a chance to try the whole menu.”

  He saw her stiffen, and her blue eyes darkened. “You’re staying here?”

  He nodded. “For a while.”

  “Don’t you have to get back to wherever you’re from?”

  “Sacramento,” he supplied and figured she knew exactly where he lived. “And no, not immediately.”

  He saw something flitter across her face—like uncertainty and fear rolled into one. Which didn’t make sense. She had no reason to be afraid of him. They were ancient history. She took a deep breath and spoke. “Well, enjoy your meal. ’Bye, Chief.”

  Once she was gone and out of hearing range, Hank spoke again.

  “Yeah, you were right,” he said and grinned broadly. “You two are nothing to each other.”

  “Don’t be a jerk.”

  Hank laughed. “She looked like she either wanted to kiss you or kill you...for your sake, I hope it’s the former.”

  * * *

  He’s staying at my hotel.

  Abby wanted to scream. She’d long ago made the decision to not be a temperamental chef, so she didn’t. But as she charged back into the kitchen, shoulders tight, her head pounding, Abby worked herself up in a frenzy so intense her ribs actually ached.

  She didn’t want him at the hotel.

  It was too...close.

  She didn’t want him eating in her restaurant. Didn’t want to see him striding across the foyer, looking so good in his jeans and leather jacket, didn’t want to imagine him sleeping in one of the rooms upstairs. The hotel, the restaurant were her places. Her haven. Her escape from everything that was linked to Jake Culhane.

  It was where she often brought her son on Sundays for breakfast. It was where she worked. Where people knew her. Trusted her. Where no one suspected the truth about T.J.’s paternity because she kept a low profile on her private life. Where she felt safe from the truth being discovered. What if he saw T.J.? Jake was
a smart guy. It wouldn’t take a lot of effort to figure it out.

  Damn Jake Culhane.

  She pushed some strength into her limbs and got back to work, ignoring the throb in her head and the anxiety churning in her belly.

  Abby wasn’t sure how she managed to get through the remainder of her shift, but she was relieved when eleven o’clock came and she could swipe out, allowing the other chef to take over lunch. She appreciated that Liam O’Sullivan was a good boss and understood her need to work shorter shifts. This enabled her to also work from home, planning menus, ordering produce, co-ordinating events for the hotel, as well as giving her time with her son, particularly on the weekends. She ditched her whites, grabbed her bag and left through the staff exit. Her car was parked in its reserved space, and she rushed toward the vehicle, stopping abruptly when she spotted Jake leaning on her hood and cursing the personalized plates that made it clear which vehicle was hers.

  She stood about ten feet away. “What do you want, Jake?”

  “To talk.”

  She shook her head, wondering, fearing, that he would ask her about her son. His son. But why would he? He’d never met T.J. “What about?”

  “The past,” he quipped and pushed himself off the car. “The present.”

  God, he was gorgeous. Everything about him was acutely masculine. His broad shoulders, lean waist and hips, long legs, dark hair, and glittering green eyes. Awareness flittered across her skin, and she chastised herself immediately. Thinking Jake was attractive was totally out of the question.

  “I think we said everything that needed to be said years ago.”

  “That was just guilt and regret talking,” he reminded her.

  But Abby didn’t need reminding. She only had to look at her son to remember what they had done and how they had betrayed Tom. The irony was, Abby didn’t regret making love with Jake that afternoon so long ago. Because if she did, it would mean she regretted conceiving her son...and a world without T.J. was unthinkable.

  She stepped closer, conscious that they were standing in the middle of a parking area and could easily be seen and heard. “I’d rather forget it happened. I wasn’t in my right mind. I was grieving and—”

  “I know that, Abby,” he said, cutting her off. “We were both grieving. I actually wanted to apologize...to say I’m sorry for anything I may have said or done afterward. We both said some things we normally wouldn’t have.”

  Abby remembered. She’d said she hated him and never wanted to see him again. Yes...they had said some harsh and hurtful things that day.

  But they had also made a baby.

  A baby she’d kept a secret for six years.

  “Okay,” she said stiffly. “Apology accepted. And I’m sorry, too...for what I said.”

  Despite the apologies, the tension between them was so thick, she knew he was as skeptical as she was. After a moment, Abby gave a brittle laugh. “Why don’t we let each other off the hook, Jake? We don’t have to do this. We can leave the past exactly where it is and simply get on with the rest of our lives.”

  As she said the words, Abby felt like a fraud. Because until Jake knew the truth, she knew she would always be looking over her shoulder. Wondering. Fearing.

  “I don’t want to be at odds with you, Abby. We were friends once... I’d like to think we could be again.”

  Friends? Were they? Lovers, certainly. And their relationship in high school had been passionate from the beginning. A complete contrast from her relationship with Tom, which had been grounded in friendship and trust and common ideals. With Jake, it had been hot and angsty and all about passion and sex. Okay...maybe not all. There had been times when he was her best friend as well as her lover. And from the way her blood was churning though her veins, some of those feelings lingered still. There was no denying Jake was attractive and sexy as sin.

  “Sure,” she said casually. “Friends. No problem.”

  He held out his hand, and after a moment she took it, feeling his long fingers close around hers. It had been years since they’d touched, and a familiar jolt of electric awareness coursed up her arm and landed squarely in her belly. Like always, she was at the mercy of her stupid physical attraction for him. Desperate to get away, Abby pulled her hand free and walked to the driver’s side of her car.

  “See you around,” she said and managed a half smile.

  Then she got into her car and drove from the parking area as swiftly as the law allowed.

  By the time she got home, Abby was a quivering wreck. She walked up the steps and was greeted by her grandmother at the front door. Moving next door once she returned to Cedar River with her newborn son had been a no-brainer. She’d grown up in Gran’s house and loved the leafy, quiet street. Her own home, next door to her grandmothers, wasn’t as big. And Gran’s had a spacious apartment above the garage that she rented out from time to time, but Abby loved her little house with its large yard and picket fence.

  “You look terrible,” Patience Reed remarked as she crossed the threshold and walked down the hallway.

  “Bad morning,” she said, following her. “Where’s T.J.?”

  “Reading in the living room. He said he wanted to finish the next chapter.”

  Abby knew her highly intelligent son was also looking to absorb new reading material, so she always had a fresh supply of books for him to read.

  “I need coffee,” she said and walked into the kitchen.

  Her grandmother was close behind her. “Difficult customers?”

  “Just one,” Abby replied and sank down into a chair. “Jake.”

  “You saw him again?”

  She nodded. “He wants to be ‘friends.’” She put quotes around the word with her fingers.

  Her grandmother’s brows came up. “And what do you want?”

  “Part of me wants him to go back to California and leave me in peace,” she said honestly. “But that doesn’t look likely to happen anytime soon, since he’s just checked into the hotel.”

  “So, he’s staying in town?”

  “For the moment,” she replied and sighed. “I don’t understand why, since his brother is out of the hospital and making a full recovery, from what I hear.”

  Her grandmother’s expression narrowed. “Do you think he suspects something?”

  Abby shrugged. “I don’t know. I don’t think so. I mean, I don’t see how he could. I don’t know, Gran, maybe someone has said something to him and he’s hanging around to check it out. I don’t know what Jake thinks. I never have. The man is a closed book. I just know that he’s staying at the hotel and I’m a nervous wreck.”

  Patience poured coffee and came around the countertop. “You knew this would happen, Abby. It was always inevitable, considering his family is settled here. And it’s the right time for the truth to come out. We both know that.”

  “At T.J.’s expense?” She shook her head. “I don’t think so.”

  “I can’t imagine Jake would be a threat to his son.”

  “Don’t call him that, Gran,” Abby said tightly.

  “It’s the truth, and the truth needs to be faced. I know you think you’ve done the right thing by allowing T.J. to believe that Tom is his father, but until you tell him the truth about Jake, it’s going to be a lie that you’ll have to live with for the rest of your life. And for his.”

  Shame pushed down on her shoulders. Because her grandmother was right. She had allowed T.J. to think Tom was his dad. And she’d never corrected anyone’s assumptions about Tom being the father, either. But now, things were very different. Jake’s unexpected return had changed everything and she knew her son needed to be emotionally prepared for what was inevitable—meeting his biological father.

  “I thought I’d have more time,” she admitted.

  “You’ve had six years, Abby.”

  Her guilt amplified. “I know
you’re right. In my heart I know Jake has the right to know. And so does T.J. But I’m worried that Jake won’t hang around...and where will that leave T.J.?”

  Her grandmother regarded her cynically. “Sounds to me like you’re looking for excuses to avoid telling Jake what you should have told him when you first discovered you were pregnant.”

  Patience had always made her disapproval clear, but she had still supported Abby completely. And she knew her grandmother adored T.J.

  “I don’t know what to do, that’s the truth. For all I know, Jake could pack his bags and leave tomorrow, so I don’t see the point in creating chaos unnecessarily.”

  “Does that mean you’re not going to tell him?” her grandmother asked bluntly.

  Abby sighed. “No, Gran, it means I’m going to take some time and see how things pan out. If Jake—”

  “Proves himself worthy?” her grandmother suggested.

  “Something like that.”

  “Do you think that’s fair?”

  Abby shrugged. “No...but I have to protect my son, and I will do that at all costs.”

  Patience nodded agreeably. “I know you want to protect him. But do you think that perhaps you also want to protect yourself?”

  Abby feigned ignorance. “I don’t know what you—”

  Her grandmother held her gaze. “He’s always been quicksand for you, Abby. Did you think time would make that go away?”

  “I guess I had hoped it would,” she replied and took a shuddering breath. “My feelings toward Jake have always been complicated,” Abby admitted on a sigh. “But if I tell him, it has to be because it’s what’s best for T.J.”

  “You know I support you,” Patience said generously. “But you need to tell him the truth, Abby, while you have the opportunity and before that opportunity is taken from you.”