The Soldier's Secret Son

by Helen Lacey

  Then he left as though his heels were on fire.

  * * *

  “Mommy?”

  Abby tucked the blanket in around her son and sat on the edge of his bed. “Yes, T.J.”

  “How are babies made?”

  She looked at her son. “Remember that book we read together a while ago,” she reminded him.

  He nodded, regarding her thoughtfully. “About how the daddy and mommy make the baby and it grows in the mommy’s belly?”

  “That’s right.”

  “Is that how you made me?” he asked, his small hand touching her stomach.

  “Exactly,” she replied. “I made you with your daddy, and you grew inside me and then you were born.”

  His innocent gaze narrowed. “How come I don’t look like my daddy?”

  She sucked in a sharp breath and chose her next words carefully. “I’ll tell you something. You look exactly like your dad.”

  He smiled quizzically. “I do?”

  She touched her face. “In every way that counts.”

  He accepted her explanation with a grin. “Can you tell me the story about my angel daddy?”

  Tom.

  Tell him the truth. Now.

  My god, what a mess I’ve made of things...

  Guilt pressed down hard on her shoulders. She thought about the picture of her husband on the mantel in the living room, taken on their wedding day. Tom was smiling, his auburn hair shining beneath the afternoon sun. It had been a happy day. Back then, things had seemed so simple. Marriage, children, her work...everyday things that made up a full life. Except that there were no children and she knew how devastated Tom was when they discovered he would be unable to make her pregnant. They discussed using a sperm donor, even made a few plans to go down that road, but she suspected her husband wasn’t completely signed on to the idea. He wanted his own children, and sadly, he would never know the joy.

  “Well, he really wanted to have a little boy just like you. It was all he talked about. But he got sick. And you were born after he died, and since then he’s been your angel daddy and watches over you.”

  T.J. bit his bottom lip. “I wish I still had a daddy.”

  Abby’s insides lurched. “I know you do. One day, very soon,” she said and hugged him close, “I promise you’ll have a real daddy.”

  He brows shot up. “I will?”

  She nodded. “Yes.”

  “Like my friends Tim and Benson have daddies?” he asked, eyes wide.

  She inhaled deeply. “Exactly like that.”

  “Yay, Mommy,” he said and then his eyes widened even farther. “I can’t wait,” he said and then looked worried. “But what if he doesn’t like me?”

  “Of course he’ll like you,” she promised and felt her heart tightening in her chest. “You’re adorable and the best little boy in the whole world.”

  He giggled. “You have to say that, ’cause you’re my mommy.”

  She smiled. “I love you more than anything.”

  “I love you, too, Mommy.”

  “Good night, sweetie,” she said and kissed her son good-night.

  Once T.J. was settled, she took a shower, dressed in her pajamas and spent an hour in the kitchen, lingering over a pot of green tea, thinking about how T.J. was asking more questions every day, and about how she was going to tell Jake he had a son. She didn’t doubt he’d be furious with her for keeping the truth from him.

  She was on the dinner shift at the hotel for the next few days—perhaps she’d run into him and find a chance to start a conversation. Maybe he’d be open to talking...maybe he’d say it was okay. Perhaps she was imagining the worst for no reason. Jake was a reasonable man. Surely he’d see the logic in her decision to conceal the truth about T.J.’s paternity for as long as she had.

  By the time she arrived at the hotel the following afternoon, Abby had almost convinced herself that the transition from Jake not knowing he had a son to discovering the truth about T.J. would be seamless.

  She did the shift change with the lunch chef, discussing a few last-minute alterations to the evening menu, and then talked the new sous chef through the prep work they needed to do. The restaurant was booked solid for the next few days, although tonight was unusually quiet, and she made a mental note to ask Connie Rickard, the hotel’s assistant manager, about the possibilty of taking some much-needed time off for the following week. Connie was married to Liam’s half brother and she’d always considered the other woman a friend. Connie would understand if Abby said she needed some personal time. By five, the kitchen was prepped and ready to go and Abby took a short break, hanging out by the piano near the bar, sipping on a soda and lime.

  “Everything okay, Abby?”

  It was Liam O’Sullivan, her boss. She swiveled on the stool and nodded. “Sure. Just taking ten before the dinner rush starts.”

  He smiled. Abby had always liked Liam. He was a good employer—fair and very approachable. And he’d done wonders for the hotel since taking over from his father. The O’Sullivans were rich and the most prominent family in town, a little entitled and sometimes too big for their boots, but they had a strong sense of charity and goodwill, particularly Liam.

  “I have a business meeting in my office this evening—any chance you could rustle up a few snacks for around eight o’clock?” he asked.

  “Of course.”

  “I’d like you to hang around for a while, if that’s okay. Some of what’s being discussed will affect you.”

  “Me?”

  He waved a hand. “The restaurant. The kitchen. Nothing sinister, so you can stop looking concerned. Just a few improvements to the way the place runs. Connie will be there, too.”

  Abby spent the next few hours running the kitchen, preparing meals and thinking about how she was going to tell Jake he had a son.

  At a few minutes to eight, Abby left the kitchen in the competent hands of the sous chef and headed upstairs to Liam’s office suite. She had her own swipe card to access the elevator to the floor and was quickly in the reception area, carrying a tray of food. Connie came out to greet her and she chatted to her friend for a moment. If she wasn’t mistaken, Abby believed she spotted a tiny baby bump concealed beneath the other woman’s corporate jacket. Her husband worked for an architectural firm in Rapid City. But since Abby wasn’t one to pry, she didn’t ask or speculate any further.

  They walked into Liam’s office, and Abby stopped in her tracks.

  Jake was sitting on the leather chesterfield, an electronic tablet in his hand. He looked up when she entered the room, offered a modest half smile and then dropped his gaze.

  “You guys know one another, right?” Liam said and moved around his desk.

  She nodded. “Yes.”

  “Abby and I go way back.”

  She glanced at him and felt heat rise up her neck.

  “I’ve been talking to Jake about installing a new security system in the hotel—including the kitchen in the restaurant and the bistro, and the rear parking area behind the employee entrance,” Liam explained and offered her a seat on the chesterfield. “I just wanted your thoughts on the idea.”

  She sat down, conscious that Jake was barely a foot away from her. She crossed her ankles, noticing there was sauce splattered on the front of her apron, and she realized she was still wearing her chef’s hat. And probably looked as though she’d been in a hot kitchen for the last few hours.

  I don’t care if Jake thinks I look like a washed-out rag.

  She worked—she was a single mom. She had every right to look tired and washed out.

  Abby listened as Liam, Connie and Jake discussed the proposal for a more efficient and safer security system for the hotel, and she offered a couple of comments when they broached the subject of the restaurant and maintaining staff and patron privacy while monitoring who came
and went during the course of the day.

  “The hotel and the restaurants are getting busier every year,” Liam said. “And with more business comes the potential for more risk. I want to minimize that risk...can you do that?”

  Jake nodded. “Absolutely. My company has worked with several hotels in Sacramento and San Francisco and one in Vegas. I’ll spend the next few days looking over the place and come back to you at the end of the week with some suggestions.”

  Connie moved forward and passed him a swipe card. “You’ll need this to move freely around the hotel.”

  “And touch base with Abby if you need any information about the restaurant or bistro,” Liam said and nodded. “She’s worked as the manager in the bistro and the main restaurant as well as head chef...she knows the running of that part of the business better than anyone.”

  As much as she was flattered by Liam’s words, the idea of working closely with Jake on a business proposal for the hotel turned Abby’s stomach. It was bad enough she had to face him with news about T.J.’s paternity...anything else was out of the question.

  Abby got up and excused herself. Once she was back downstairs in the safe haven of her kitchen, she relaxed a fraction and took a couple of long breaths. The sous chef reported that nothing was amiss, all meals had been served and there was only one table of patrons still lingering over their wine. Relieved that she wouldn’t have to hang around until midnight, as sometimes happened, Abby chatted to the duty manager about the following evening’s menu and then ensured the kitchen was prepped and ready for the following morning. Once she was done she headed for the locker room and ditched her hat and apron, changed her shoes and dumped her black sneakers into her tote and headed back through the kitchen and into the restaurant, immediately spotting Jake standing by the bar.

  “Got a minute?” he asked.

  She sighed. “Sure,” she said and walked behind the bar. “What would you like?”

  “Club soda,” he replied.

  “You don’t drink?” she asked as she poured soda into two glasses and added a wedge of lime.

  “Not really.”

  “Because of your dad?”

  “Because I don’t see the point in getting wasted,” he replied and then nodded. “And yeah, because of Billie-Jack. You know how he was.”

  “I remember.”

  “I didn’t want to end up like him.”

  “You’re nothing like him,” she said firmly and pushed the glasses across the bar.

  “Thanks,” he said, and she wondered if he was thanking her for the drink, or her words.

  “How did you get involved in this project?” she asked as she moved around the bar and sat on a stool beside him.

  He shrugged. “I was talking to Kieran the other day. I figured he must have told his brother what I do. Your boss approached me this morning. And here I am.”

  Abby looked at him, taking in the dark trousers, white shirt, polished shoes. He looked like a businessman. And utterly gorgeous. “I don’t image you wear that getup on your bike?”

  He grinned. “No. I’m definitely more comfortable in jeans and a T-shirt...but sometimes the business means I have to dress the part. And you know how your boss is known for being an uptight workaholic.”

  “I didn’t realize the Culhanes and the O’Sullivans were on such friendly terms.”

  “We’re not,” he replied. “It’s business.”

  “Liam’s not so uptight these days,” she said and grabbed her tote. “He got married and had a baby a couple of years ago. Kids have a way of putting what’s important into perspective.”

  His brow came up. “Is that what it did for you?”

  Abby nodded, feeling heat rise through her blood.

  Do it! Tell him!

  “T.J. is the most important thing in my life.”

  “Of course. He seems like a good kid.”

  “He is,” she said and inhaled. “He’s smart, sometimes too smart for his own good, and he can be willful, but he—”

  “He gets that from you,” Jake said and grinned devilishly. “I mean, Tom was pretty easygoing and agreeable. But you’re nothing like that.”

  “He’s very much like his father,” Abby said and swallowed hard, realizing she had a real window, an opportunity to tell the truth. Good conscience made her grab for it, even though she was trembling inside and they were at her workplace and the setting was wildly inappropriate to receive such news. But a window was a window. And since her gumption was in short supply, she needed to take opportunity when it arose. “In fact, he’s like—”

  “Hey, Abby?”

  The sous chef poked his head around the kitchen doorway, and the words she was so close to saying collapsed on the edge of her tongue. “Yes...what?”

  “We’ve got a vegan party of six coming in tomorrow night,” he said and shrugged. “Just giving you a heads-up. It’ll be a big off-the-menu order.”

  She nodded. “Okay, thank you.”

  The chef quickly disappeared, and she noticed that Jake was smiling broadly. “Troublesome vegans?”

  She offered a tight smile. “They’re regulars. They like this vegetable stack I make...which isn’t on the menu, and probably should be, but since we’re in beef country, Liam has this thing about keeping it real for the locals. Even though his wife, Kayla, is a vegetarian and—”

  “Abby,” he said and drank some soda. “Calm down. You’ve no reason to be nervous around me.”

  If only he knew...

  She shrugged, galvanized by the need to do what was right, but knowing that an unexpected announcement about her son’s paternity at the bar wasn’t appropriate. “I was wondering... I was thinking about getting T.J. a snowboard for Christmas and remembered how you said you’d teach him to snowboard. I thought maybe lessons would benefit him beforehand, you know, so that he gets some practice. Only if you meant it, of course. I mean, you’ll probably be leaving town soon and I—”

  “I told you I was staying for a while. And I always mean what I say,” he remarked.

  Of course he did. Typical Jake. He’d never been one to shy from the truth in any situation. “So...yes?”

  He looked at her for a moment—almost warily, and then slowly nodded. “Sure. There’ve been a few good snowfalls on Peaks Ridge. I’ll let you know when the weather is right, and we’ll make a date.”

  A date with Jake...

  Her insides crunched up, and she nodded. “Great. Thank you.”

  Of course, it wasn’t a real date. She wasn’t interested in going down that road. It was about connecting T.J. with his father, about building relationships, about undoing the wrong she committed six years earlier.

  “Are you okay, Abby?”

  She managed a tight smile. “Would you like to come over for dinner Friday night? Maybe hang out with T.J. for a while...you know, to see how he feels about snowboarding lessons. It’s my next night off, so I can cook.”

  He looked at her oddly for a second, as though he couldn’t quite believe her invitation. Then he shrugged. “Ah...okay.”

  “I’ll make brownies,” she added, remembering that years earlier they had been his favorite dessert, and clutched her tote. “So, see you Friday, around six o’clock.”

  He nodded and slid off the bar stool. “I’ll stop by here tomorrow if that’s okay...to go over the security proposal for O’Sullivan, to look at the kitchen and staffing area, that kind of thing. I’ll touch base with the restaurant manager, and we can go through a few things together. What time does your shift start?”

  “Three,” she replied. “I can meet you at two thirty, if that’s convenient?”

  “It is,” he said. “See you tomorrow.”

  “’Bye, Jake,” she said and watched as he turned and left the restaurant.

  She sighed and stared at the empty doorway. Small steps,
she told herself.

  But she had to tell Jake that he was T.J.’s father...and soon.

  Chapter Five

  “Are you sure you couldn’t find a bigger tree?”

  Jake was at the ranch late on Thursday afternoon, drinking coffee with Mitch, Hank, Joss and their cousin David, and looking at the biggest indoor Christmas tree he’d ever seen. The thing was so tall it reached the ceiling. And it was decorated within an inch of its life.

  Mitch hitched a thumb in David’s direction. “Blame him. He’s the one who has the trees on his ranch.”

  Jake grinned. “You selling trees now?”

  David laughed. “Only to family and friends. There’s still half a dozen left if anyone wants one. Nothing that big, though.”

  “I use a fake tree,” Joss remarked and made a face.

  “Philistine,” Mitch said and then shrugged and grinned. “I know it’s ridiculously large, but it’s what my soon-to-be wife wanted.”

  The wedding was planned for a couple of weeks before Christmas, and Jake knew Mitch was over the moon about the prospect.

  “Happy wife, happy life?” Hank said and chuckled.

  “Something like that,” their elder brother replied. “But I’m not complaining. I love seeing her happy, and I love having Tess back at the ranch. It’s like things are back to how they should be. Besides, you know I always liked being married.” He paused and watched them. “You guys should try it sometime.”

  Hank laughed nervously and tugged at his collar. “Ah, time for me to get back to work.”

  “You can all joke if you like,” Mitch said seriously. “But I mean it. Family is everything. And we’re stronger together, as a family.”

  “Lightning doesn’t strike twice,” Joss said, a hint of bitterness in his tone. “Anyway, I’m not sure any woman could put up with me the way Lara did. And I need to put the girls first. If I got married again, she would be taking on another woman’s children—that’s a big deal and not something I’d do lightly.”

  “Agreed,” Mitch said and nodded and then looked at Jake. “What about you?”