by Leigh Walker
Tamara accosted me as soon as I got through the door. “What on earth is going on? What did Austin’s letter say?”
“Hold on a moment…slow down.” I poured myself a cup of tea and took a shaky sip. “He said that victory is near. The rebels have agreed to retreat in exchange for the return of one of their soldiers. They’re bringing her out now.”
“Her?” Shaye asked.
“Yes, it’s a woman that Eve captured. Her name is Chase. She and Balkyn used to…know each other.”
“I haven’t seen her.” Tamara arched an eyebrow. “Where’s she been?”
“In the dungeon. Come on—there they are!” I abandoned my tea and ran to the window.
But what I saw wasn’t at all what I was expecting.
They’d reached the entrance of the garden. Chase was screaming her head off. Two guards held her, and she struggled wildly against them. Balkyn was talking to her, looking as though he were trying to calm her.
She raised her legs and double kicked him in the face. He went down, hard, and one of the guards bared his fangs as he clamped a hand over her mouth.
“Wait—no! No!” If Chase was killed, the deal with the rebels would be off. The battle would rage on. No one else needed to lose their life today. I had to do something.
I ran from my friends, sprinting down the hall. They called after me, but I didn’t stop. I burst into the lobby and hollered at the surprised sentinel on duty, “Come with me! Quickly!”
We dashed out the door, down the stairs, and across the lawn. “What’s going on?” he asked, but there was no time to answer. We rounded the corner to find Chase continuing to fight, the larger guard with his fangs still bared.
The smaller of the two guards was yelling at her. “That’s enough!”
I reached them, chest heaving, and waved my hands. “Stop, stop!”
The guards turned to me, surprised. Even Chase stopped shrieking from beneath the sentinel’s hand.
“Let’s just calm down for a moment.” I took a step forward.
Chase recovered herself and tried to kick the guard on her left. He grabbed her foot and wrenched her leg.
“That’s enough! Chase, if you keep fighting, you’re going to get knocked out. Or bit. Your choice.” She stopped struggling, but the guards didn’t loosen their hold. “She’s stronger than she looks, I suppose.”
The large guard retracted his fangs then grunted. “She’s crazy—got a death wish, this one. She kept talking about sacrificing herself.”
I reached for Balkyn and helped him up. He had a large cut on his swollen lip and a bruise blooming on his cheek. “What happened?”
He glared at Chase. “She’s gone completely off the deep end. She doesn’t want us to return her—she doesn’t want the rebels to give up the fight. She said she’d rather die, a martyr for the cause.”
“Chase, you need to make listen to me. It’s simple—once we bring you back to the rebels, you’ll live to fight another day.” I stepped closer to her, and she glared from beneath the sentinels’ grasp.
“I won’t live long with these two crushing me.” She blew the hair out her face to better glower at the guards.
“Let her go.” But the sentinels didn’t budge. “That’s an order—she’s not going to get very far, is she? Stay close. Just stop manhandling her for the moment. I need to make her understand.”
They begrudgingly released their grip but stayed near enough to grab her if necessary. I stepped closer, too. Chase looked as if she might start screaming again, so I cut her off. “There’s no point in yelling. And you can fight all you want, but your fate is sealed. We’re returning you to your people. The prince will show mercy, and the rebels who remain will be free to go.”
“I don’t want your blubbering mercy. I don’t want anything from the likes of you abominations!” She spat at my feet. Tiny white bubbles shone on my boot. “My people should never have agreed to this. It’s a deal with the devil! Can’t they see it’s another vile trick meant to ruin everything we’ve worked for?” She looked wildly from me to Balkyn. “I won’t do it. You can kill me now, but you can’t make me go.”
“You’re wrong again. I absolutely can. Guards, take her.” But just as they went to grab her again, the little devil ducked.
What happened next came very fast. Chase dropped her feet and grabbed a rock from the garden’s entryway. Just as the guard scrambled to secure her, she hurled it up at me.
My brain recorded every nanosecond as I stood there, frozen. There wasn’t time to get out of the way. The rock hit me square in the head. There was a flash of pain, blinding white, and then, nothing.
The last thing I saw was Chase, smiling in triumph.
Chapter 17
Slowly Stripped Away
There was light, and then more darkness. There were voices muffled in the distance. They came closer and retreated again.
A shot fired out. I heard a scream and then…nothing.
After a few minutes, or perhaps several hours, I thought I might be moving. Someone’s moving me? I felt as if I were asleep but with mild audience participation.
Then I smelled something warm, familiar, and lovely, and I struggled to open my eyes. But I was tired, so tired. My lids were too heavy to lift.
“My dearest one. My darling.” Austin’s voice was suddenly very clear. He lay over me, weeping.
“You have to change her.” It was Eve. She sounded desperate. “There’s not much time.”
“That’s not what she wanted. It’s not what we wanted.” Austin’s voice was ragged.
“Too bloody bad! You can’t just let her die like this!”
“I can’t do it.” Austin sobbed. “I promised to keep her safe. If I change her, I will end her very life—I’ll never forgive myself.”
“Her bloody life’s about to end anyway!” Eve roared. “Get out of my way, then. I’ll do it myself!”
“No.” Austin sounded deadly, as though he would stake Eve if she moved closer. “I’ll do it. Leave us alone at once.”
A garbled litany of curse words streamed out of Eve’s mouth. Then she was gone.
“Blake.” Austin’s voice cracked as he laid his head on my chest. “I’m so sorry. I’ve failed you. I let that devil get her hands on you…Balkyn warned me about her, but I never thought this could happen…” He wept for another minute. “I will kill them all for this. I will obliterate every last one of them—burn them to the ground!”
No, I thought. He couldn’t let what had happened to me make him seek revenge against the rebels. Chase was only one person—one evil person. A war was exactly what she wanted.
My eyelids fluttered, but I couldn’t get them to open.
“Blake? Can you hear me?”
I couldn’t answer. The words just wouldn’t come out.
“I don’t want to turn you, darling.” He went quiet as he gently stroked my hair. “I know it’s not what you want… Especially after what happened with Rose. But I am too selfish to live without you. I can’t let you die. I won’t live in a world without you.”
He took my hand in his. “I understand that you might never forgive me for this. Please know that’s nothing compared to the hell I will live in for the rest of my existence.”
Austin went quiet for another minute, or perhaps I’d drifted in and out of consciousness. Or am I dead? Oh, please don’t let me be dead. Not yet. I’m not ready to leave him!
I tried to reach for Austin to tell him it was okay, but my body didn’t respond to my wish. I lay there, unable to cry, unable to call for him.
If this is death, it’s quite a disappointment!
But then I felt him. He put his big hands on my chest, saying words over and over again under his breath. They were just out of reach—I couldn’t make them out. But then he put his face against mine and whispered, “Forgive me, my love.”
He plunged his fangs into my neck. I couldn’t see him, of course. But when a vampire bites you, you’re quite sure of it.
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The pain was intense, far worse than having a rock hurled at me. I couldn’t cry, and I couldn’t writhe. I just lay there as he sucked the blood—the life—from me. I felt an incredible pull as the blood rushed to my neck all at once. My whole frame shook. The sensation was like an unbearably high-pitched sound, but instead of hearing it, I felt it, as though my very existence got so intense that it shattered.
My body wasn’t working properly, but I could still feel every cell shake and quiver as the life force was sucked out of me and drained away, leaving my limbs heavy, weak, and useless. I went cold in stages. First my feet, then my calves, my thighs, my belly. My chest. My heart.
An icy feeling replaced what once had been warm. I felt myself floating away from the chaos that was overtaking my physical self. In that moment, I felt terror. Is there still a choice? Part of me fought to stay, but part of me wished I would die. Perhaps death was a disappointment. But it had to be better than this searing pain and flood of ice through what had once been my home.
My poor body. I wept for it, but no tears came.
Austin didn’t stop. The freezing cold spread from my chest to my neck, my ears, my face…I was numb. There was nothing left.
Finally, the prince released me. He put his face against mine. His hot tears ran down my icy cheek. “My darling. It is done.”
He stayed like that for a long time, crying.
What happened next couldn’t have been sleep, since vampires didn’t do that, but it was a bit like going in and out of consciousness.
All of a sudden, it was bright daylight. I was in a room. A woman was taking my pulse, then my temperature.
“Why’re you taking my pulse?” The words came out slurred, as if I’d drunk a quart of champagne. “Aren’t I dead?”
She smiled. “You’re not dead just yet. But the fever’s come on. It won’t be long. Close your eyes and rest, my dear.”
“But where’s the prince?”
Either she didn’t answer, or I dropped out again.
I came back with a start. “What?” I sat up straight, and the room swung around crazily, as if I were riding a surfboard on very choppy water.
“There, now.” Eve was right beside me. She took my hand in hers and guided me back against the bed. “You mustn’t move around like that. You’re not ready.”
I blinked at her. If the room had been filled with bright sunlight before, now it was blindingly bright. Eve’s eyes burned with an intensity I’d never seen before. I could see every one of her eyelashes, every strand of hair curled to perfection on her head.
I looked on her with new eyes, eyes that saw every little detail I’d never noticed before. The pale luster of her skin. The tiny lines on her lips. The stitching on the tunic she wore. Every small detail jumped out at me as if my vision had improved a thousand percent.
“How many days…?” It hurt to talk.
“Two.” Eve grabbed a cup and shoved its straw into my mouth. “Here you go.”
I shook my head, refusing to drink, but she glared at me. “Do it now. It’ll help the crappy way you feel. Trust me.”
I pushed the cup away and was surprised to find the small action left me feeling completely drained. Apparently, the rest of my body hadn’t caught up to my eyesight. “Where is he?”
Eve pursed her lips, her aqua eyes blazing in the bright light of the room. “Outside.”
“Is he okay?”
She scoffed. “Still blubbering, I expect.”
“Eve…” But my strength was gone. I lay against the bed, too weak to say more.
“Please.” Eve brought the cup closer. “Drink. I can’t have all the people I care about going off the deep end.”
I wanted to ask what she meant and why Austin was outside blubbering and what had happened to Balkyn and Chase and the rebels… But my body refused to cooperate.
She put the straw inside my lips. I hesitated. I didn’t want to drink blood. It had nothing to do with where it had come from—I knew it had been donated. It was because the idea repulsed me.
I wanted a chocolate croissant. I wanted toast and ice cream and tarts. I ran my hands over the thin blanket covering me and noticed how cold my body felt. I wanted my old body. I wanted to be warm. I wanted to be hot, to sweat. I wanted Austin and Beast and the warmth of a fire near me. I wanted chocolate. I wanted to want chocolate. I wanted to feel my heart beating, my pulse racing—whether with fear or desire or exhilaration, it didn’t matter.
I wanted to feel human.
I pulled away from the straw. “Eve. Please.”
I weakly wiped my face. If I hadn’t been one-hundred-percent sure that vampires could cry, I now had all the evidence I needed. “I don’t want to do this. I want to go back.”
“Shh, shh, it’s all right.” Eve’s eyes filled with tears as she gently brushed the hair back from my face. “But you have to drink something. You’ll feel awful until you do. Once you’ve gotten a bit of strength back, I can tell you everything that’s happened.” Eve looked at me hopefully. “Can we agree?”
I nodded. I might not want to drink from the cup, but I desperately wanted to find out what had happened since I’d been turned. She put the straw back into my mouth, and I took a tentative small sip. The blood was as I’d imagined it—tangy and thick. But it wasn’t as bad as I’d thought. I drank deeply, draining the cup in a matter of moments.
“It’s not so terrible, is it?” Eve got up and brought me more.
“It’s no chocolate croissant.” But I finished the next cup and then another.
“There you go. That’s a good girl.” Eve propped the pillows behind me so that I could sit up. “Are you feeling better?”
I flexed my fingers and wriggled my toes. “I am. But am I… Eve, am I dead?”
“No, thank the gods.” A tear ran down her cheek, and she wiped it away. “You’re a vampire. Your life is just beginning.”
“But… But…” I felt overwhelmed. Tears ran down my cheeks. “How is this happening? How am I crying? How do I feel if my life is over?”
She took my hands in hers. “You can feel my touch, can’t you?”
“Yes, but—”
“And you can see the room around you, the sun shining through the windows. I imagine your vision’s improved.”
“Yes. But my heart’s not beating. I can’t feel it anymore. It’s gone.” I broke down and wept. I felt as if I’d lost a beautiful friend I’d had my whole life.
Eve let me cry. When I’d finished, she gripped my hands. “It’s not gone. It’s been transformed. Think about wood, Blake. It’s a tree, then it’s chopped down and used for a fire. It becomes ashes. But those ashes go back into the ground, and the tree begins again, perhaps as something else this time. Just because your human life is behind you doesn’t mean it’s the end. This is only the beginning. Your existence continues, transformed to the next stage. And it’s a good stage—I promise you. I’ve no regrets about becoming vampire. I didn’t choose this life, and neither did you. But it’s a gift, a chance to protect those we love for their eternity.”
“But Austin…” I wiped my face. “He didn’t want this for me. He didn’t want to do it—I heard him before he turned me. It broke his heart.”
“It’s all about him, is it?” Eve sat back. “Well, boo-hoo. He didn’t have a choice. He was bawling like a baby, but if he hadn’t turned you, I would’ve. It was not your time, Blake. You’re here for a reason—I know that.”
“But isn’t that playing God?” I lay back, exhausted again. “Who gave you, or anyone else, the right to decide whether it was my time?”
Eve leaned forward, eyes burning. “God did. God gave us this power. I believe that so long as we use it for good, it’s as God intended.”
I opened my mouth and then closed it. I’d never thought of it that way, and exhausted as I was, the subject was too difficult to mull over. “Tell me what happened. Tell me everything. And then tell me why the prince isn’t here.”
She s
ighed. “Chase hit you with that rock. The little beast hit you hard. You lost a lot of blood. You lost consciousness, of course. The guards went to kill her, but Balkyn told them to stop. He shot her in the leg, though, so she couldn’t fight anymore. He said she was going to be traded, and the battle would end. He got his revenge, I’d say.”
“Good.” I cracked a smile. “That wasn’t what she wanted. She wanted to be a martyr for the rebel cause. She wanted them to keep fighting.”
“That’s because she’s a right loon.” Eve shook her head. “Anyway, the guards brought her to Austin while Balkyn ran for help. As soon as Austin dealt with her, he left the front lines to return to you. I’m pissed at him at the moment, but I was rather impressed that he put you first.”
“Why are you mad at him?”
Eve waved me off. “We’ll get to that part.”
“So what happened to Chase?”
Eve shook her head. “Austin wanted to kill her. He was about to kill her, but Rhys and I reminded him that was exactly what she wanted and the reason she’d gone after you in the first place. She didn’t want the rebels to make peace with the vampires and retreat. She wanted an all-out war, even when her own people knew they couldn’t win. She didn’t care. Austin backed off in the end. He made the trade, and the rebels retreated. But they’re not finished with their campaign. We still have to worry about the king and queen, of course, not to mention Gwyneth and Dallas.”
“What do you mean?”
“Gwyneth and Dallas made it back to the castle. They brought her parents and Winnie and Remy with them—there’ve been rebel threats against them, and Gwyneth felt safer having her family guarded. But we’ve word that the rebels are increasing their numbers down there. Some who survived this battle went south to join their camp.”
“Then this was all for nothing?” I cried. “I thought showing mercy would help them see the truth.”
Eve reached for my hand. “It was not for nothing, I assure you. Many of the rebels we spoke to admitted to being disillusioned with their cause. Not all of them want to fight. Their army is weakened and doesn’t stand a chance against King Black.”
