Turning Point

by Lara Zielinsky

  “Brenna invited us to go along on her charity’s trip.”

  “Ryan really enjoyed himself. He kept going on and on with stories.” She inhaled, then shook her head. “He told us you ‘slept with Miss Lanigan’. We assume that he meant that you two shared a tent and he was just confused.”

  Cassidy felt her face flush and tried to joke, “Well…yes…of course. What else?”

  Gwen studied her for a moment. She checked the door behind her and found it securely closed. Turning back, she grasped Cassidy’s hands, feeling them shake. “My God, you did!”

  Blood drained from Cassidy’s face. “No, no. We didn’t.” She drew a breath to get her reaction under control. “I kissed her.” She frowned. “It’s complicated.”

  “I bet. I knew you felt like she didn’t resent you anymore; I had no idea it had gone so far. Guess the hatchet’s really buried.” She frowned as apparently other implications occurred to her. “For God’s sake, don’t say anything to Lou.”

  Cassidy sighed. “You won’t say anything?”

  “No, I won’t.”

  There was a long pause, and Cassidy thought that would be the end of it, then Gwen asked, “How did it happen?” Clearly “not saying anything” did not mean she would not satisfy her own curiosity.

  “It was completely innocent,” Cassidy explained. “We had to share a sleeping bag because Ryan couldn’t sleep and came into the tent for the night. There were only two bags. He had one; we took the other one.”

  “Surely you could’ve shared with him — or just slept. So…what else happened?”

  “I…I had kissed her…in the woods.”

  “Cass, are you serious? You’re…straight. And she’s married, right?”

  “Yes.” Her hands shoved in her pockets, Cassidy looked around, at the sky, the ground, then back at Gwen. “We haven’t done anything.”

  “Are you still pursuing it?”

  “I don’t know. I don’t even know if she wants to.”

  They looked up as Lou’s voice reached them through the closed door. “Gwen!”

  Cassidy shook her head and frowned. “You’d better get back Inside. I can’l talk about this now.”

  “I’ll have to figure out something to tell Lou. He was disturbed by the story.” Her expression told Cassidy he had been more than disturbed. “Maybe we can gel together Sunday.”

  Cassidy nodded reluctantly. She really did need someone to talk to. “Maybe.”

  Kevin rolled onto his back, taking Brenna with him. Their bodies were covered in a fine sheen of sweat, and the sheet stuck. He laughed, clearly pleased, and kissed her repeatedly. Brenna turned her head aside, pretending to want to curl down and fall asleep. Kevin whispered how wonderful she was.

  All the while, Brenna was emotionally distraught at what she had done. Oh my God! I just gave my husband a sympathy fuck. Her face hot, but not from exertion, Brenna shut her eyes tightly and fisted her hand against Kevin’s chest. As soon as she felt him fall asleep, she would leave the bed.

  She swallowed back a sob, knowing, even as she thought such things, that she could not invite questions from him by betraying her emotions with tears. The truth would have to come later, when she was collected and calm.

  Tonight, when she could not put another out of her mind, she had learned the truth: Her heart had gone elsewhere. Kevin was still a wonderful man — socially conscious and caring for his daughters, her, and even her sons. Brenna knew, though, that she could never do this charade again. Her chest hurt from withholding the tears — wanting to cry out in passion, but finding that nothing he did moved her. The usually pleasant soreness between her legs felt instead like a violation of her soul. She needed to slip away and wash herself.

  Chapter 27

  On Sunday, Cassidy, waiting at the window, spotted Gwen coming across the street. She tucked the grocery list in her purse and called for Ryan. “We’re going, Ryan! Come on.”

  Bolting in from the back of the house, Ryan drew to a sudden halt at her feet. “Ready!”

  She swept an assessing glance over him. His baggy jeans and tee shirt were acceptable. “Do you have your sneakers?” He pulled up the pant legs and showed off the hidden footwear. She shook her head. “All right. Let’s go.”

  Opening the door, Cassidy found Gwen just reaching for the knocker. “We’re all set.”

  Gwen nodded, then looked down at Ryan. “Chance is waiting for you at my house.” They watched him run down the walk and cross the street, without looking both ways. He ran up to the Talbots’ front door and knocked enthusiastically.

  “How’ve you been since Thursday?” Gwen asked as they walked to Cassidy’s car.

  “Right into it, hmm? I’ve been trying to enjoy an all-too-brief vacation.”

  “I’m just curious. Ryan is so fixated on you two at the camp, I figure it must’ve been pretty intense. I told Lou that Ryan had simply noticed Brenna because she’s pretty but different from his mother. That seemed to appease him.” Gwen paused outside the passenger door. “Have you heard from her?”

  Cassidy slid behind the wheel. “No. I don’t expect to, either.”

  “So…have you figured out what you’re going to do?”

  Shaking her head, Cassidy said, “You don’t understand.”

  “Then help me understand. Were you experimenting, acting out something? I don’t get it, Cass. You’ve never done anything like this before.”

  “Once.” A sudden warmth suffused her cheeks. She had told no one else about this. Gwen was looking at her expectantly. “It was…college. We… Her name was Misty. We’d both been dumped during finals week, and we decided to take a ski trip to Colorado. It was late; we’d been drinking, snuggling by a fireplace. We… I… She…” Cassidy’s blush deepened, and she lowered her voice. “The next morning, she made me promise to forget anything happened.”

  “Sounds like this is the same thing.”

  Cassidy thought about what she felt when she looked at Brenna or even just happened to think about her — the rush of adrenaline she experienced or the equally powerful flood of calm. “No comparison, Gwen. I constantly want to touch her. TalkŹing with her is both the most difficult and the easiest thing I’ve ever done. She’s so physical. Alive. She’s intelligent, sharp-witted, private, personal, focused. When we talk acting, I can feel her passion for it. She really gets into it. She doesn’t share that with just anyone.”

  “Passionate, huh?”

  Cassidy blushed and changed the subject slightly. “She loves her family, as much as I’ve seen anyone could. Her boys adore her in return. That’s part of the problem. I don’t want her to change. If I can’t find a way to live with this, it’ll hurt her…not to mention her marriage.”

  “Is her marriage good?”

  “I don’t know.” Cassidy had read nothing but anxiety from Brenna at the parade, anxiety that she knew her presence caused. Certainly Kevin had behaved lovŹingly while the group was together. Though, Cassidy thought ruefully, I’m certainly not a good judge. Mitch, and recently Cameron, had showed her that.

  “If the marriage isn’t good, it’s not likely because of you.”

  “I can’t know that, not for certain. That’s why I have to stay away until she makes her decision. She asked me to.”

  “What about the parade?”

  Cassidy pulled up at the store and parked. As she set the auto-lock from her key chain, she said, “That was entirely an accident. Most of this seems to happen by accident.”

  “How’d it go?”

  “She introduced me to her husband.”

  They each grabbed a cart from the corral outside the store. “That had to be awkward.”

  “I could feel her tension.”

  “Nothing confrontational happened?”

  “No. We all sat together. Her oldest son talked to me while we watched the rest of the parade.”

  “Her son?”

  “We’d gotten to know each other a bit when he taught me how to climb.”
<
br />   “When?”

  “The camping trip.”

  “So, the mother and the son?” Gwen pressed her hands over her eyes dramatiŹcally. “Sheesh, you don’t do things simple.”

  “I’m not in love with Thomas.”

  “You’re in love with her? You’re positive?”

  Cassidy delayed her answer as a man walked around them and grabbed a box of spaghetti off the top shelf. When he was gone, she whispered, “I don’t just want to go to bed with her, Gwen. That’s Cameron’s M.O., not mine.”

  “Speaking of… Why aren’t you still dating Cameron?” Gwen picked up two difŹferent bottles of pre-made sauce and compared labels while awaiting Cassidy’s answer.

  “It’s over. He handled a colleague badly and really made a scene, put me right in the middle, demeaning me.”

  They pushed on to another aisle. “You had to have had a clue before that.”

  “There were times when Cam… It was more about sex and…” Cassidy finally admitted to herself what had been lingering since the night at the club with Griff Torend, “and showing me off than any emotional connection.”

  “Maybe what you feel for her is because you had a breakup. She’s become a friend, someone to talk to. So maybe it’s some sort of rebound.”

  “It’s not all me, Gwen. I feel something back from her.”

  “Last year she hated you.”

  “She apologized.”

  Gwen was skeptical. “When you were kissing?”

  “No,” Cassidy said defensively.

  Gwen nodded. “All right. Can you stay away from her and still get your work done?”

  “That’s a problem,” Cassidy admitted wryly. “Since I touched her, I find I need that. We…fit in a way I’ve never felt before. When she’s stressed or upset, 1 can feel it.

  When she’s happy, she glows.” She thought about the time in her trailer when she and Brenna had curled up on the couch together to work over the script rewrite. Despite the sudden changes in their relationship that had prompted Brenna to request that they slow things down, they had fallen into the position so naturally and remained comfortable for hours.

  Gwen sensed the awe. “Wow. You never talked like this about Cameron.”

  Cassidy scanned the dairy case, checking the stamped dates, and selected a galŹlon of milk. She nodded. “I told you.”

  “Does she know how you feel?” Gwen retrieved a package of sliced cheese. “I mean, really know?”

  “I can’t tell her. Not right now. She’s trying to sort herself out. It wouldn’t be fair of me to complicate that.”

  “All right. Well, may I suggest that you try not to be alone with her off-camŹera?”

  “That’s helpful,” Cassidy said with sarcasm.

  “Only advice I can give you. If it’s meant to happen, it will.” Gwen clasped her shoulder briefly, then moved away, picking up a six-pack of Lou’s favorite beer. “Just don’t expect it to be easy. If this breaks publicly, regardless of what you’ve actually done or not done, it’s going to be uncomfortable — at the very least. And it won’t just be tabloid reporters who will cause you problems.”

  “I know,” Cassidy admitted. “Are you finished?” she said as they both selected apples and dropped them into bags.

  “Yes, I’m finished. You?”

  “Just one more thing,” Cassidy said. “Wait here.”

  “Sure.” Gwen leaned on the handle of her cart.

  Going to the card aisle, Cassidy searched for her holiday season cards. One of the boxed sets had caught her eye when they passed earlier. She read the interior message of one with reindeer on the cover and decided they would do. Perusing the wide variety of individual cards, she chose more personal cards for her parents and other family members. One with a mistletoe sprig on the front and a soft gold trim caught her attention. She read the message inside and smiled, then tucked the card in with the others. Perfect.

  Back in the produce aisle, Cassidy caught up with Gwen, who noted the box and selection of cards. “You’re certainly getting an early start this year.”

  “I have work right up until the holiday. It’s better to get them done and mailed.”

  “You’re right.” The two headed for the checkout lanes.

  Stepping out of her bedroom, Brenna quietly shut the door. Out in the living room, she curled up on the couch and checked the time. It was only just after seven. “Did Kevin already go to bed?”

  She uncurled a little and looked up at James walking through from the kitchen, his hands filled with a plate of leftovers and a glass of milk. “He’s going to lose a lot of sleep going back to Michigan tonight, so I suggested the nap.”

  He leaned on the couch back and met her gaze. “Been a pretty cool weekend.”

  She could not agree but nodded her head anyway.

  “You just gonna sit out here and read?”

  “I need to keep an eye on the time. His plane’s at midnight.”

  “You should’ve come with us yesterday to Groveland Park.”

  She shook her head. “It was a guys’ day out. But I’m glad you all got to go. It

  gave me a chance to do some things around here.”

  “Got a phone call from work, didn’t you?”

  She was a little surprised at his intuition. “Yes, they’ve rearranged production again. I have to be on the set at six tomorrow.”

  “Well, it won’t be for much longer,” he said. “Guess you’re ready for it to be-over. Have you decided what you’re doing next?”

  “No, I haven’t.” She paused, then asked, “What would you like to do?”

  James blinked. “You really want to know?” She nodded. “I’d really like to stay here. At least until I finish school.”

  “Mount Clemens is much smaller, more personal,” she said, playing devil’s advocate.

  “Yeah, I know, but five years in one place has been a long time.”

  Brenna considered that and realized he was right. “I hadn’t thought about that.”

  “I don’t mean to make anything difficult for you, but I really want to stay here.”

  “Kevin would want what’s best for you,” she assured him.

  “Is he going to move here, or are we moving there?”

  She was taken aback. Thinking it had been only a preliminary discussion they’d had on Thursday night, she hadn’t expected Kevin to bring the boys into things so soon. “He told you?”

  “I told you, you should have come to the park. That’s all we talked about.” James straightened. “He wants us to help convince you to go to Michigan as soon as Time Trails is over.”

  Brenna frowned, feeling a rush of anger that Kevin would put either of her chilŹdren in such a position. “We honestly haven’t even discussed it fully ourselves. I’m sorry he put you boys in the middle of this.” She laid her hand on James’ forearm where it rested on the back of the couch.

  James pressed his lips tightly together. “You guys gotta do what you gotta do.”

  “I’m still glad you told me what you want. That matters to me,” Brenna promŹised.

  “Is it going to mess things up?”

  She shook her head emphatically. “It will not.” Certainly no more than they’re messed up now. “No matter what happens, you must never believe that.” He tilted his head, and she wondered if she had said too much.

  “All right,” he offered cautiously.

  She accepted his kiss on her cheek and then watched him as he left the room. With a sigh of misery, she went back to the bedroom and spied Kevin rolling over on the bed. “Kevin?”

  “Yes?”’ His voice was filled with sleep.

  “Did you mention to the boys that we were discussing where to live after Time TrailsV

  “Yeah.”

  He sat up and flipped on the bedside lamp. She averted her eyes from his naked chest, trying to give the impression that the light had startled her. She turned back. “We didn’t decide.”

  “Will you come home for Christmas? B
ring the boys, and we can hash it all out as a family.”

  Resignation weighed heavily on her as she gave in. “All right.”

  “You look like you could use a hug,” he said, patting the mattress beside him.

  Brenna knew she did, too, but she looked at the bed and shook her head. “Get some sleep. You’ve got a plane in just a few hours.”

  She remained as STILL as possible while he studied her, not moving until he reached up and turned off the light. She closed the door and returned to the living room.

  In the corner of the couch, she pulled a pillow across her lap, feeling the rest of the cushions hugging her back. She closed her eyes, just for a moment, sipping in a startled breath as the memory of Cassidy’s scent suddenly seemed to surround her.

  You should have just told him you wouldn’t come for Christmas. Burying her face in the pillow, Brenna stifled her groan of self-disgust.

  Chapter 28

  Head down, Brenna walked into the soundstage, trying to compose herself despite the early hour. Rachelle’s smooth voice interrupted her progress.

  “How was your holiday?”

  Looking up into the friendly face, she offered a tight smile. “Hmm?”

  Rachelle blinked and lifted a hand to Brenna’s arm. “Are you all right? What time did your plane come in?”

  “I didn’t… Kevin… His plane left at twelve-thirty this morning.” She rubbed her face briskly with both hands.

  “Kevin came for a visit?” Rachelle’s grin held a hint of a leer, and she elbowed Brenna, patting her on the arm. “Well, now I know why you look like you hardly slept.”

  J did hardly sleep, Brenna thought, so she nodded. In truth, the complex tenŹsions she had struggled with for four days had more to do with her current exhausŹtion. Since Thursday night she had tried several times to broach any of the many subjects she and Kevin needed to discuss. She had found herself agonizing over word choice before she even opened her mouth. It had been painful, exhausting, and in the end, she had not said anything. He was on his way to Michigan, and she had even found a way to avoid giving him a goodbye kiss. She had never before depended so much on her ability to act and yet at the same time despised it so much.