All I'll Ever Need

by J. P. Bowie

  “That long?” There was a moment of silence then Edward asked, “D’you have time for lunch or a coffee or something?”

  “No, I’m really sorry, Edward. My plane leaves at one and I haven’t even had time to pack yet.”

  “I could drive you to the airport if you like?”

  Alex hesitated. It seemed like a bit of an imposition when he could just as easily call for a cab, but Edward seemed eager enough to do it, and it would be nice to have his company on what could sometimes be a slog of a drive through heavy traffic.

  “You don’t mind?” he asked finally.

  “Of course not. At least we’ll be able to say goodbye properly. I’ll pick you up at your place in, say, an hour?”

  “That’d be perfect. Thanks, Edward.”

  “My pleasure. I might even get a goodbye kiss out of it?”

  “You can count on it.”

  Alex closed his phone, smiling. He’d been looking forward to seeing Edward when he got back and the morning meeting had come as a bit of a shock. No way had he anticipated being packed off to Vancouver on the same day he returned from New York. The only sleep he’d managed had been on the plane, Scott’s summons to the office coming as Alex had arrived at LAX—and here he was about to head back there in an hour or so. Who said working for a star agency was glamorous?

  Edward’s sigh as he closed his phone was one of both despondency and yet excitement as he got ready to drive to Alex’s house. He’d see him in about an hour, but then he was going to be gone for two weeks. Damn, but he’d been anticipating spending the evening with Alex so much, having dinner together, gazing into those amazing dark eyes, feeling the softness of his lips…

  “Okay, that’s enough,” he said aloud, startling himself by the vehemence in his voice. “No point in torturing yourself.” And if in two weeks when he gets back and maybe still wants to see me, we can make it another night to remember. I can deal with that.

  In the meantime he just had to put up with Troy’s drug episodes and Kevin’s snarkiness. Maybe it’s time I look for a place by myself.

  * * * *

  He left the apartment a little earlier than he needed to in the hope that he’d find Alex still inside his house and maybe coerce him into a quickie blow job. Chuckling to himself at his unusual audacity, he stepped on the gas but was quickly disillusioned by the amount of Saturday morning traffic all seeming to go in his direction. By the time he reached Alex’s street, he could see him standing outside his house and glancing at his watch.

  Well, that’s just fucking fantastic, he groused, pulling up in front of Alex’s driveway and braking harder than he had to. “Sorry.” He jumped out of the car to open the trunk. “Traffic was a bitch.”

  “Don’t worry.” Alex gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. “I know a shortcut to the freeway.” They loaded Alex’s two bags into the trunk then set off, Edward following Alex’s directions to the 405 freeway.

  “I really appreciate this, Edward.” Alex stroked Edward’s thigh as he spoke, sending shivers all through him.

  “I can pick you up when you get back if you like.” Edward shifted in his seat to ease his growing hard-on.

  “Are you sure?”

  “Totally sure.” He glanced at him quickly. “Let me just put this out there. I’ve missed you the whole time you’ve been gone, and I’ll miss you even more this time. I hope that doesn’t make me sound needy and make you feel uncomfortable or anything.”

  “No, it doesn’t. I’m glad you feel that way, because I’ve missed you too, Edward, and to say I’m pissed about these unexpected events is putting it mildly.” He explained what had been discussed at the meeting, and why he had to leave at such short notice. “You’ll most likely see it on TV so I’m not letting the cat out of the bag when I tell you it’s the agency’s client, Lena Miles, I’m going to Vancouver to see.

  “Lena has a very fragile psyche at the best of times and if reporters start bugging her while she’s trying to work, she’s likely to have another meltdown and cost the producers a ton of money by missing days of shooting. So, I’ll be there to fend off the pests and keep her occupied with positive stuff.”

  He took Edward’s free hand in his. “When I get back I’ll tell you more of the history between Lena and myself. So, what have you been up to since I’ve been gone?”

  Edward squeezed Alex’s fingers. “Nothing much until last night when Troy came home stoned out of his mind and Kevin and I had to take him to Emergency.”

  Alex grimaced. “I was afraid of something like that happening.”

  “It gets worse. He called this morning yelling that he’d snuck out of the hospital and wanted us to come pick him up right away. All because he wants to go some party tonight—the one he told you about, remember? We tried to talk him out of it, but he told us to mind our own fuckin’ business. So I guess he’s going, and honestly, Alex, I don’t want to be there when and if he gets home from wherever he’s going. Kevin’s talking about getting a new place and asked me if I’d go with him, but here’s the other thing—he’s a bit of a jerk too. I’m seriously thinking of finding my own place.”

  “Well, in the meantime…” Alex dug in his pants pocket and pulled out a key. “After you drop me off, go back to my house and spend the night there.”

  “Oh, I can’t impose on you like that, Alex.”

  “Yes, you can, and it’s not an imposition.” He pushed the key into Edward’s hand. “It’s a spare. There’s some food in the fridge, some beer too, I think. Call the apartment tomorrow and if things are okay and you want to go back, fair enough, but if there’s chaos, stay at my place until things have calmed down. We’ll talk more about this when I get back, okay?”

  “Alex…”

  “Listen, I haven’t been happy about you sharing with Troy since the night he told me about this damn party. The guy’s a drug addict and by association with him you could be dragged into something really bad. The fact he snuck out of the hospital might just be enough for the doctors to report his using to the authorities. You don’t want to be caught up in any drug related problems, believe me. Now, you’ll use the key, please?”

  “I can’t believe how nice you’re being to me. You hardly know me.”

  “I know enough to care about you, Edward.”

  His hand was on Edward’s thigh again and Edward felt himself grow harder than before. “God, but I wish you weren’t leaving.”

  “The feeling’s mutual,” Alex murmured.

  * * * *

  When they arrived at the airport Alex said, “Pull into the section marked One Hour Waiting Only. We’ve made good time so I have a few minutes before I have to check in.”

  As Edward pulled into an empty bay the overhead light blinked out. “Wow, that’s handy. I can kiss you without anyone seeing.”

  “Not handy.” Alex pushed himself nearer Edward and gazed into his eyes. “Magic…”

  For a moment Edward almost believed him. Hell, I’ll believe anything this guy tells me when he looks at me like that. Instead of speaking, he parted his lips and took Alex’s kiss eagerly. Their arms wrapped around each other in the confined space, their bodies straining in an effort to get as close as they could. Alex slid his hands under Edward’s T-shirt, and stroked Edward’s nipples with his thumbs. He leaned in to lick and nibble on them then went lower, his hot kisses leaving an unbearably erotic trail over Edward’s fevered flesh.

  He was so hard he thought he’d come right then and there in his briefs, a feeling that spiraled in intensity as Alex unbuttoned his jeans and released his aching erection.

  “Jesus…” Edward gasped when Alex took the head of his cock into his mouth, tonguing the slit, bringing Edward to the edge of orgasm. Oh, God, maybe I should’ve jerked off this morning after all. Alex cupped Edward’s balls, squeezing gently while his lips glided down then back up the length of Edward’s pulsing shaft.

  “Alex, stop, I’m coming.”

  Alex made a muffled noise that sound va
guely like ‘good’ and sucked harder. Edward’s climax exploded out of him, leaving him limp and gasping for air. The car’s interior suddenly felt unbearably warm. Alex held him until he softened then looked up at Edward with that wicked gleam in his eyes Edward was beginning to know quite well.

  “How was that?” he asked, tucking Edward’s cock back into his briefs.

  “Unbelievable.”

  “That’s what I hoped you’d say.” He glanced at his watch. “Gotta go.” He leaned over and kissed Edward, sliding his tongue into Edward’s mouth, letting him taste himself. When he pulled back he smiled. “Waiting two weeks for you to return the favor is going to be a challenge.”

  Edward flung his arms round Alex’s neck and kissed him with such fervor that Alex had to forcibly pry his lips free. “Wow,” he said chuckling. “Keep that up and the plane will leave without me. Just save it all for when I get back.”

  “Call me when you get there?”

  “I will. Now I really have to go.”

  Edward helped him with his bags to the elevator. “Better say goodbye here.” Edward swore he could see genuine sadness in Alex’s expression.

  “You hurry back, y’hear?” he whispered, then pressed his lips to Alex’s once more.

  “Don’t forget, stay in my house as long as you have to.” Alex stepped into the elevator, and Edward gave him a little wave as the doors slid shut. The next two weeks were going to be a challenge for them both.

  Chapter Six

  Edward stopped by the apartment on his way back from the airport. Staying over at Alex’s house, he needed at least a change of clothing, his toothbrush and comb. Kevin wasn’t home when he got there, and it appeared that Troy was still sleeping off his wild night. He packed a small overnight bag, throwing in a clean T-shirt, underwear and socks and his toilet bag. He kept his movements as quiet as possible. The last thing he needed was to wake Troy and have him start asking all over again for a lift to the party tonight. Fortunately, no one was stirring in Troy’s room.

  Maybe he’ll sleep right through and forget all about going out. I can only hope.

  * * * *

  It seemed strange at first being alone in Alex’s house. He wandered from room to room to familiarize himself with the layout and couldn’t help but be impressed with the orderliness of things. Nor could he help but compare it to the less than pristine condition of the apartment he shared with Troy and Kevin. He’d seen the state of their bedrooms and realized that just because they were gay didn’t make them house proud. Edward figured Alex had someone come in to clean and polish once in a while, if not regularly. With his heavy work schedule it would be hard to maintain the house in this fashion.

  In the living room there was a bookcase he hadn’t noticed before, but then, on the two occasions he’d been here, he hadn’t really been too interested in the furniture. He walked over to see what kind of books might interest Alex, but what immediately took his attention was a photograph of a man on the top shelf. A gorgeous man with a golden tan, a mane of blond hair and eyes of such a dark blue Edward could almost feel the intensity of his gaze. It was autographed, For Alex, my love always, Hank.

  He looks familiar, but how in hell would I have known someone that good-looking? Maybe he’s one of the celebrities Alex represents. That’s it, a movie star —and now when he thought about it— Right, he was voted the world’s sexiest man a couple of years ago—Hank Bartell.

  His gaze shifted to the photograph next to the one of the handsome movie star. It was of Alex and Hank with a beautiful woman between them. He recognized her as Lena Miles, the one Alex had told him had caused a ruckus in his office, the one he was going to Vancouver to look after.

  Would Hank Bartell be there too?

  The surge of jealousy he felt startled him.

  You have no right to feel jealous, you’ve only known him a week. He had a whole lifetime before you met him, and besides you don’t know what their relationship was—is?

  And there was something else, something he should remember. Right at that moment he wished he paid more attention to celebrity news. He pulled his iPhone from his pocket and went online. He clicked on the Google icon then punched in Hank Bartell’s name and gasped when under Hank’s image he read the words, Born 1983—Died 2013.

  He sat down on the nearest chair and stared at the screen in shock as he read a reprint of an LA Times report of Hank’s death.

  Hank Bartell, one of Hollywood’s busiest stars and twice voted the world’s sexiest man alive by People magazine, died of a drug overdose at his Beverly Hills mansion late last night. Lena Miles, his wife and co-star in Bartell’s latest movie, called 9-1-1 after finding her husband on their bedroom floor. Ms. Miles said she had been out with some friends and returned home to find Bartell in distress. She also called a close friend, Alex Martinez, who confirmed to this reporter that Bartell died before the paramedics could transport him to the hospital. Martinez, who was fending off reporters from interviewing Lena Miles, also said that Miss Miles was understandably distraught and any statements would be made through her agent…

  Edward remembered the conversation he’d had with Alex in the pizza parlor on their second night together when Alex had told him Lena had been married to a friend of his. But it hadn’t worked out, he’d added. From the fleeting sad expression on Alex’s face, Edward had intuited there might be more to the story than Alex had been willing to tell him at that moment. Now he knew why.

  God, how terrible to lose a friend that way…

  He couldn’t help wondering if perhaps there had been more than just friendship between Alex and Hank, but Hank was married to Lena and Alex didn’t strike him as the kind of man who would have an affair with a married man. Yet what did he really know about him? Only that he seemed like a sweet and caring person, and one who could take Edward to the stars when they made love.

  Sighing, he stood and examined the sound system on one of the shelves—didn’t look too complicated. He jabbed at one of the buttons and immediately the room was filled with the sound of soft jazz. A quick look at the row of CDs on another shelf made it clear Alex had an eclectic taste in music. Miles Davis, Ella Fitzgerald and Tony Bennett sat side by side with Cher, Adele and classical collections that included Debussy and Beethoven. The array of books reflected that same varied taste. John Grisham, Diana Gabaldon, Robert Crais were represented along with Ray Bradbury, the poems of Maya Angelou and essays by David Sedaris and Christopher Hitchens. All these made him reflect on the fact that they’d never discussed books or music, or even movies. He smiled wryly, reminding himself that both their evenings together had been all about some pretty torrid sex.

  After leaving the living room, he found the kitchen and opened the refrigerator. Alex had said there was some kind of food and he suddenly realized he was famished. He’d had nothing since the tea at Starbucks. In the fridge there were some cold cuts and cheese slices, carefully wrapped. He took them over to the counter and noticed a handwritten note lying there.

  Señor Alex, some fixings for sandwiches are in the fridge. There is bread in the pantry. I know you will be hungry after your trip. I hope all went well.

  Blanca.

  So Alex had someone to look after him, and the house, when he was away. That would account for the pristine condition of the place. He got the bread and some mayo and made a passable sandwich, pouring himself a glass of water to wash it all down. He sat on a counter stool, munching happily, listening to the soothing music being piped in from the console in the living room.

  I could get used to this, he thought, looking around, imagining Alex and him coming home from work, having a drink while fixing dinner, talking about their respective days.

  Well, isn’t this the most ridiculous flight of fancy you’ve ever had? Almost as stupid as when you believed that asshole Matt, back in Ellingsworth, actually meant what he’d said before you let him fuck you.

  Christ, but he so did not want to think about all that now. Hadn’t he left all
that behind? All the despicable words spewing from a mouth that had earlier been used to kiss his lips and suck his cock—all because Craig, his bullying brother, had found them together in Edward’s bedroom. Craig had at first laughed his fool head off, then he’d threatened to tell every single one of Matt’s friends he was a fag. Edward had listened, horrified at the betrayal, to the lies that came so easily from Matt. He wasn’t a fag. Edward had forced himself on him, tearing his clothes off. He’d been completely taken by surprise and was trying to stop Edward when Craig had barged in and found them together, naked.

  Edward had seen that Craig hadn’t believed a word of it. After all, Matt’s quarterback physique would’ve ruled out most anyone from overpowering him. But Edward had known his brother loathed him enough that he would pretend to go along with Matt’s story, even encouraging Matt to punch Edward—“So he’ll never try that crap again”—and Matt had done just that, swinging so hard he’d almost broken Edward’s nose. He’d lain there after Matt and Craig had left him alone, and it was then he’d made the decision to leave. There was no point in looking for support from his parents. In their eyes he was tainted, a lost cause destined for hellfire. Craig, despite being a bully and a sexist pig, was their golden boy. They could overlook his uncouth behavior, but they could never condone Edward’s ‘choices’.

  He supposed he should pity Matt for his cowardice and the fact he’d condemned himself to a life of lies and loneliness, but he hadn’t yet come that far. The bitter memory of that day and the subsequent humiliation he’d suffered from Craig’s never-ending taunting still left a sourness in his stomach when he dwelt on it for too long.

  Just like I’m doing now—Stop with the self-pity, for God’s sake!

  He jumped when his cell phone, sitting on the counter beside him, rang suddenly. He glanced at the caller ID screen. Alex. He hadn’t expected to hear from him so soon.