My entire body shook from the sheer force of his thrusts. Each time he pushed into me, he stoked that fire building in my stomach. It spread throughout my entire body until every inch of me burned with need, desire, and pleasure. Never had I been this happy. No, happy wasn't the right word. It wasn't strong enough to describe the euphoria I felt.
I doubted any words could adequately describe what sex with Nick was like. All I knew was I never wanted it to end.
This is how I wanted to spend the rest of my life, in bed with Nick, the two of us making love with each other. There was still so much for us to do together. We'd skipped all the foreplay and gone straight to the main course. Not that I was going to stop him. No way in Hell was I going to do anything to stop this. That just meant we had lots and lots of these sessions in our future.
Nick's thrusts became more and more erratic as time went on. He moaned into my mouth, his body tensing. He was right on the edge, just as I was. Neither of us was going to last much longer at this rate, no matter how badly we wanted to.
We had to break the kiss, just so the two of us could breathe. We both sucked in deep lungfuls of air, trying desperately to last as long as we possibly could. It was a futile attempt though. No matter how hard we tried, Nick's constant thrusts brought both of us closer and closer to the edge until we were right there, teetering at it.
"Oh god," I moaned out. Legs and arms wrapped around Nick, I held on to him, clinging to him. I couldn't take it anymore, couldn't hold out any longer. My entire body shook and spasmed as the ball of fire inside me exploded outward. All of my senses went from sharp and acute to fade away, leaving only Nick, still wrapped in my limbs as I came.
He held on for only a couple more moments. Then, he slammed into my one final time before his cock pulsed and throbbed, filling me with his seed. I yelled and moaned louder and louder, but the sound didn't reach my ears. The blinding whiteness enveloped everything, leaving only my sense of pleasure as it filled me from head to toe.
The next thing I knew, we both collapsed onto the bed. Our bodies clung to each other, both coated in quickly cooling sweat. I grinned up at the ceiling even as I struggled to catch my breath. That had been everything I'd dreamed about and so much more. It had taken everything out of me, but I could not wait until we could do it again. The first time had been amazing, and it was well worth the exhaustion.
Slowly, my eyes closed, my breathing evening out. Even when sleep finally over took me, I couldn't stop smiling.
6
Nick
Shit.
I splashed water onto my face. God, how could I be so fucking stupid? How could I give in to my desires? I should have known better, should have left the kitchen the moment I'd found Gabbie naked in there. But I hadn't. I'd stood there, telling myself I could control myself, that I wouldn't give in to my urges. And yet, I'd done just that.
Seeing her naked had short-circuited my brain, apparently. Then, she'd talked about divorce, and I'd lost myself. I'd let my desires take over and given in to them. I could still remember it all so clearly. I remember every second, every minute, of what we'd done together. And I'd remember them until the day I died.
Worse, I wanted to go back in there and do it all again. But I couldn't. It was wrong to have taken advantage of Gabbie like that. Clearly she'd had something on her mind. And instead of sitting down with her and having a conversation, I'd kissed her, then carried her up to our room and fucked her.
And I wanted to do it again.
Fuck. I shut my eyes, but images of her dark naked body danced in her mind. Her sweet moans. Her tightness. All I wanted to do was take her again.
I needed to stop allowing my dick to make decisions for me. I needed to get out of the house. Maybe if I put distance between the two of us, I could think clearly again. When I stepped back into the bedroom to get my clothes, I saw Gabbie still laying in the center of the bed. She was just as naked as she'd been in the kitchen, sound asleep.
It took all of my strength not to just crawl into bed with her. I couldn't do that. My dick had gotten me into this mess, and I wouldn’t reward it. No, I needed to just get dressed and leave. And that was what I did.
For a while, I drove around aimlessly. How could I set things right? What I'd done was unforgivable. I'd used my position to gratify myself, taking advantage of a woman who trusted me.
Before I knew it, I pulled up in front of Christian's house. Putting the car in park, I stared up at it. The lights were on. No doubt he'd come straight home after leaving the house. Aspen's car wasn't there, and I let out a breath, glad my youngest brother wasn't around. I had no idea what I would say to him. He was the closet one of us to Gabbie, probably closer than even I was. How could I ever face him once he knew what I'd done?
Hell, I wasn't even sure how I would face Christian.
But I had to talk to somebody. I couldn't do this on my own. I'd tried for so long to be able to do everyone by myself and look where that had gotten me. Maybe if I talked to Christian, he could help me figure out how to apologize to Gabbie.
Letting out a breath, I got out of the car and stalked up to the front door. I skipped the doorbell and just pounded on the large, wooden door, glad Jade was out of town. It took a few moments of banging before the door was finally yanked open. Christian stood there, filling the doorway, glaring, until he noticed it was me standing there.
"Nick?" he asked, his brow scrunched up in confusion. "What the Hell are you doing here?"
"I fucked up," was all I could think to say.
Christian nodded and led me inside, taking me to his study. I plopped down and tried to fight back the wave of emotions tearing through me. God, how could I have been so stupid? How could I have let myself get into such a fucking mess?
"Here," Christian said, jarring me out of my thoughts. He handed me a glass of amber liquid, and I stared at it for a moment before finally taking it. For a long while, I stared at the liquid. Part of me wanted to down it all in one go, but I wasn't sure that was a good idea. I hadn't been drunk earlier, and I'd fucked everything up. How would I fix things if I got drunk now?
Christian moved and sat down across from me, his own glass in hand. I could feel his gaze on me, piercing through me, like he could read my mind. But that was just my overactive imagination. It would be far too easy if Christian could just look into my mind and see just how I'd fucked up. Then I wouldn't have to relive it all by explaining everything to him.
But as he sat there watching me, I knew he was waiting for me to fill him in on why I'd just shown up on his doorstep out of the blue. So I did. I kept my gaze locked on the amber liquid, swirling around in the glass, as the words came out. Christian didn't speak for even a moment once I talked. He just sat there listening to the word vomit that came out of my mouth.
I was glad for his silence. If he'd stopped me to ask questions, I wasn't sure I'd have been able to keep going. When it finally all came out, I brought the glass to my lips and downed it. The Scotch was smooth as it went down, the heat washing through me. I closed my eyes and focused on the numbing feeling already working its way through my body.
"God, you're an idiot," Christian said at last, forcing me to open my eyes. He watched me with pursed lips, shaking his head. "You know, when all the shit was going on with me and Jade, I thought I had to be the dumbest man on the planet. It's good to see that wasn't true. You are the dumbest man on the planet."
I stared at him, mouth hanging open. Part of me wanted to argue with him. It was hard to clamp down on the brotherly instinct to respond to an attack. But I couldn't do it. Christian wasn't wrong. I was the dumbest man on the planet, no doubt about it. Nothing I said would've been able to change that.
Christian took a sip of his own glass, then set it down on the armrest of the chair, leaning forward and clasping his hands together. He fixed me with his gaze again, pinning me in place with just a look. "Gabriella loves you, you dumbass. She's always loved you. You've just had your head up your ass for
so long you didn't realize it. I mean, seriously. Why else would she be dancing around naked in your kitchen, waiting for you to come home?"
"She wasn't waiting for me," I insisted. "I just didn't tell her I was on my way home, that's all."
Christian groaned, smacking his forehead. "Jesus, Nick. Listen to yourself. You're so locked into thinking Gabbie couldn't possibly feel about you the way you feel about her that you're ignoring the facts right in front of you." He massaged his temples, then continued. "She had a crush on all of us growing up, you can't tell me you never noticed that. But the day you'd proposed to her? The look in her eyes changed. She didn't look at any of us the same way again. She only had eyes for you. She loves you, Nick. She always has."
I closed my eyes and shook my head. How could she love me? I was so much older than her. Sure, she'd been the one who'd suggested we renew our vows instead of getting a divorce. But that meant nothing, did it? Living with me, her life was easy. She didn't have to work, not really. She took care of the house and did most of the cooking, but even those things she didn't have to do if she didn't want to. If we got divorced, her entire life would change. Staying together was the easy option.
It didn't mean she loved me that way.
"Don't be an idiot," Christian growled, like he really could read my mind. He glared at me, and I flinched under the look. Finally, he let out a breath and leaned back in his chair again. "Look, you're welcome to stay here for a bit, to get your head on straight. But then you need to go home and talk to your wife. Really talk to her. Tell her how you feel. And when she tells you she feels the same way, fucking listen to her."
He drank the last of his Scotch, then walked out of the room, leaving me alone with my thoughts.
So much for him helping me sort through everything.
I frowned at the empty glass in my hand, unable to stop thinking about what Christian had said. Could Gabbie really feel that way about me? Could she actually be in love with me? Even if she'd had a crush on us growing up, that was when we were all young and stupid. She'd have grown out of puppy love like that.
But had she?
Closing my eyes, I leaned back in the chair and took deep breaths. The other night, when I'd been so stressed after work, she'd come into the bathroom and immediately massaged my shoulders. She'd asked me repeatedly how she could help me relax and take some of the load off my shoulders. That wasn't something a friend would do, not in that way at least.
But we weren't just friends either. She was my wife, even if we hadn't ever consummated that marriage until now. We were as close as two people could be, sharing almost everything with each other.
Even if she hadn't been romantically or sexually interested in me before, could that have changed? We'd spent so much time together over the years. It was possible she'd grown to love me that way. But if that was true, was that okay? Wouldn't that be the same as taking advantage of her?
God, my mind was still in a jumble. Talking with Christian had only made things even more confusing, given me more things to think about.
I went through two more glasses of Scotch as I struggled to figure everything out. Even after that though, I still hadn't come to a real conclusion. Each time I thought I had everything figured out, five more questions would pop up that would muddle everything again. It was like I was going around in an endless circle, like there was no way for me to come up with an actual answer.
The only thing I was certain about was the way I felt for Gabbie. I loved her more than anything else on the planet. Knowing that I'd hurt her, or might have hurt her, hurt me as well. I was her husband. But, more than that, I was her friend. It was my job to take care of her, to protect her. And I'd failed at that. I wasn't sure if I could ever make up for what I'd done, but I had to at least try.
And the only way I would ever get any actual answers was to listen to my brother. I needed to go back to the house and talk to Gabbie.
7
Gabbie
Shivering, I groped around blindly, finding the blanket and pulling it up over myself. With a sigh, I snuggled into it, warmth washing over me. But still, it wasn't enough to block out the cold, wasn't enough to allow me to drift back to sleep. I kept my eyes squeezed shut, focused on my breathing, and tried like Hell to return to the dream I'd been having.
I squirmed and grinned as I remembered the dream, remembered Nick's hands all over my body, his cock inside me. Then, I realized the reason I was so cold was because I was naked. My eyes flew open as I looked around the room, trying to figure out why I was naked. Then, the scent of sex hit me all at once and I collapsed back onto the bed, grinning up at the ceiling.
It hadn't been a dream. At least, not all of it. Nick and I had sex together, finally. And it had been extraordinary. I remembered falling asleep in his arms, our naked bodies pressed together. Giggling, I squirmed around beneath the blanket as I replayed everything in my mind. My entire body filled with warmth as the memories came back and I couldn't stop smiling.
I'd waited so many years for that, so many years....
With a sigh, I spread myself out on the bed. Already I craved more, wanted to see what else we'd been missing out on together. I'd read books and seen quite a few movies of the things a man and a woman could do together, and I was eager to try all of them with Nick. Okay, maybe not all of them. There were things in those movies that even I didn't dare try, but most of the stuff looked like fun.
But first, I needed my husband.
Swinging my legs over the edge of the bed, I stretched. All of my muscles were tense and sore, but I still didn't stop smiling. The ache in my body was well worth it. Briefly I searched for my clothes, then remembered I hadn't been wearing any when Nick had gotten home. I couldn’t believe I'd had the guts to do something that brazen.
But Emma's idea had worked, though probably not in the way she'd expected. God, she would die when I told her how it all unfolded. She'd probably never stop laughing, if I knew her. Maybe eventually I'd be able to laugh about it, too. For a while though, there was no way I'd be able to make eye contact with Aspen or Christian without remembering how they'd found me.
I considered finding something to wear, then decided against it. Anything I put on would just be taken right off once I found Nick. I wasn't sure what he had planned for the rest of the night, but I had a few ideas if he didn't.
My stomach rumbled as I headed down the stairs, and I remembered that I'd been cooking dinner when Nick had gotten home. I'd expected to find him in the kitchen, finishing the cooking, but the kitchen was empty, along with the rest of the house. I frowned when I realized Nick's keys were gone too.
My heart thundered as worst case scenarios raced through my mind. Why did he leave right after our first time together? Right after my first time? What if something had happened to him when he'd gone out? I went in search of my phone, calling Nick when I found it.
The phone rang. And rang. And rang. Eventually, it hit his voicemail, and I ended the call staring at it. Nick never ignored his phone, never. Even when it rang in the middle of the night, he always picked it up, just in case it was something important.
But he hadn't answered my call. Which meant either something happened to him or.... Or he didn't want to talk to me. I slumped back into my chair as I stared at my phone, willing it to ring, for Nick to call me back. But it stayed dark and silent, the loneliness tearing through me as tears began to fall. I couldn't stop them this time, couldn't stop the overwhelming wave of sadness and rejection that washed over me.
I'd thought I'd finally cracked the code, that Nick and I could finally move passed whatever was holding him back and truly live as husband and wife. But I'd done the opposite. I'd ruined what little we had together, pushing him away completely.
How could I ever live with myself after that? How would I ever be able to look at him again, knowing how he truly felt about me?
Repeatedly I heard him asking me for a divorce, and I knew I should've just accepted it the first time he'
d brought the subject up. He didn't love me. Not that way. We were friends, not lovers. Now, I wasn't even sure if that was true. After the way I'd thrown myself at him, would he even want to be friends anymore? I doubted it. No doubt he would push the divorce again, not backing down this time.
All because I was a stupid idiot. I'd fucked it up so badly, my own husband couldn't stand to look at or talk to me.
Minutes turned to hours. I tried calling again. And again. Anxiety built up inside me. He never ignored my calls. Never. Something must be wrong, or…
It was over.
I brushed away the fresh tears that fell. Instead of sorrow, anger welled up inside me. He couldn't even bother to talk? To tell me how he felt? He had to avoid me, like a child? Could he be any more of an asshole?
I stomped back up the stairs making a beeline for the bedroom. If he wanted a divorce so badly, wanted me out of his life, then he could fucking have it. I would not stick around with a man who didn't want me. If our marriage—if my virginity—meant that little to him, then why should I let it mean anything? Why should I be the only one putting any effort into making it work?
Fuck that.
It didn't take long to pull the suitcase out of the closet and fill it with my clothes and toiletries. God only knew when Nick would come back to the house, but I would not be there when he did. Once I had everything packed, I loaded the bag into the back of my car and took off, not once looking back at the house.
Before I knew it, I was pulling up at Jack's, hoping he'd already left for work and Emma would be awake. I didn't want to run into Nick's brother, but Emma was my best friend. And yet, I still stood on the doorstep, finger hovering above the doorbell for a long while. My heart continued to hammer even as I wanted to turn back and run away. Where else would I go? I had other friends, sure, but no one I was especially close to. Not like Emma.
The Bride's Christmas Pregnancy Wish Page 4
