A Dishonorable Offer

by Timothy Underwood

  Elizabeth yawned and stretched in a kittenlike manner. She rubbed at her eyes and giggled wetly. “I am so tired. Fitzwilliam, thank you so much. I must say it again and again, I insulted you so, and you paid me back with such kindness. I did not deserve it.”

  “You do.”

  “And in front of Miss Darcy. Those accusations were absurd. I know you too well. I am irrational, uncontrolled today. I also yelled at Jane. I should have been kinder, even though she has… Oh, I never would have screamed that way at any other person, why did I wish to hurt Jane with my words?”

  “It is different when those you believe in most completely hurt you.”

  Elizabeth blinked tiredly, and yawned again. “Oh, yes, your father. He shot himself.” She blushed. “Oops, I should not have spoken so bluntly. Was that why you took me to see Jane?”

  “It…it was on my mind, but I would have helped you no matter what.”

  Elizabeth blushed and bit her lip, smiling. “Oh.”

  He was not going to try to seduce her. Even if she smiled at him so.

  She briefly squeezed his hand. “You are so good. Even, even to those who you have no…connection to. Did you really mean it was a mistake to engage yourself to Lady Margaret?”

  Her eyes were wide and soft. She looked winningly at his face.

  Darcy’s heart beat faster. “Elizabeth, I am not good.”

  “You do use my name, without any thought. Miss Darcy was right. You have such a nice way of speaking it.”

  He took her hand in his and said seriously, “I do not deserve your affection.”

  She sighed happily. Her face had such a tender expression. “You are very good. I do not see how you can doubt that. Even if you do make awful mistakes.”

  “Such as when I asked you to become my mistress?”

  “That was a mistake. I think. Oh, I am not sure any longer. Do you still believe you were right?”

  “Elizabeth, I do not regret wanting you, I do not regret seeking you. I only regret that… I wish we had remained friends.”

  She seized one of his hands in both of hers and brought it up to kiss. “Fitzwilliam, I shall always be your friend. You cannot lose that.”

  As Elizabeth claimed to enjoy her name on his lips, he adored how she had rolled the syllables of his name. And the touch of her hands. He wished he was not wearing gloves, so that he could feel her hand skin to skin, nerves against nerves. Darcy pulled in a deep breath and forced himself to take back his hand. “I swear I will not abuse your good nature.”

  Her eyes sparkled with emotion. “I trust you completely, Fitzwilliam.”

  Darcy smiled at her, and then Elizabeth yawned and stretched unselfconsciously. Her movement made her breasts stand out. She was still hurt and not entirely herself.

  She leaned against the cushions again, and her eyes blinked shut. The curve of her nose was so fetching. And she had light freckles around her cheeks, and long eyelashes, and her eyebrows were bold and striking. Her hair was a mess, parts of it having fallen out of a simple bun. Her lips were slightly parted and each soft breath pouted them outwards. She was wearing the same old and faded coat she had always worn in Hertfordshire.

  Elizabeth suddenly shook herself and opened her eyes, exclaiming, “I never should have called Jane a…a whore. She is my sister. It is me who is a horrid person. She cares for him and… I said she was not my sister. She was right, I do pretend. I do live in a fiction so much.”

  “Elizabeth…you are a good and dear woman.”

  Elizabeth seemed comforted by his fervent tones, and she closed her eyes again.

  The soft jolts over the cobbled streets in London lulled Elizabeth, and her face relaxed into sleep. She had a tiny snore. His Elizabeth was so innocent and soft, and she looked more girlish than she did when awake. Her nose and cheeks were red from when she had cried, but as Darcy watched the color slowly faded. A small bubble of drool collected on the edge of her mouth.

  When they reached his house, and the carriage stopped, Elizabeth did not wake. Darcy shook her shoulder a little. She blinked around in confusion, and Darcy realized he should have asked her for the directions to her uncle in London when they left Bingley’s place.

  Before Darcy could ask if she wished to go there immediately, Georgiana pulled open the door from outside.

  “Heavens, it is cold today. Elizabeth, I am so pleased to see you again. Did you find your sister?”

  Before Darcy could say anything, Georgiana grabbed Elizabeth and pulled her indoors, explaining that she’d drawn a bath for their guest, as after such long trip on the road, she must be dreadfully dirty, and now that everything was settled she of course should relax.

  Elizabeth followed his sister blinking tiredly, but she confessed herself not unwilling to take a bath.

  *****

  Several hours later Elizabeth was still bleary eyed from her nap when Darcy handed her into his carriage. Georgiana hopped in quickly behind her.

  Before Elizabeth undressed for the bath, Georgiana had tried to comfort her with the consideration that since it was inevitable men would have mistresses, it was necessary that some women would agree to such a role.

  Despite that not comforting Elizabeth at all, she liked Darcy’s sister.

  She had fallen asleep in the large tub the Darcys possessed, and had been woken hours later by a maid and Georgiana when Darcy decided that since it was falling dark he absolutely needed to take her to her uncle’s house if the slightest semblance of propriety was to be maintained.

  Georgiana of course wished to go along, to spend more time speaking to her new friend. Neither of them had any objection this time. The strength of her emotion towards Darcy was too strong, and Elizabeth was glad someone else was present now. She desperately wanted to hug him and let him hold her again. She had felt so much better after he let her cry.

  Even though she should be miserable about Jane, Elizabeth wasn’t any longer. She chatted with Georgiana cheerfully, though Darcy was mostly silent.

  However, halfway through the trip, Georgiana wailed, “Oh! I shall need to meet your relatives, shall I not?”

  Darcy said in a dry tone, “Unless you wish to stay in the carriage, like a child.”

  “Oh, oh. I never know what to say. Lizzy, what shall they think of me? They will think it strange that we are coming, will they not? Shall they be angry at you, since you did not retrieve your sister? Maybe I should stay in the carriage. I would not know what to say to them.”

  The shift in the girl’s persona brought a smile to Elizabeth as she watched Georgiana smooth out the line of her gown. “Mr. Darcy did say you were quite shy. You have no need to worry. I do not know if you shall like Kitty, I have not spoken with her much this past year, and she is no great writer — but my aunt is a sensible and kind woman, and she will treat you with understanding.”

  “Oh — I always do something amiss when I meet new persons. And if I do not it is because I am frozen stiff. There is something so uncomfortable about being observed by a person you do not trust completely. I know it is absurd. But I think it would be a far nicer world if society could be dispensed with and you only had to talk to friends and family. Besides — because I always sit on the side of a drawing room reading, other women tend to ignore me and talk as though I were not there. They are often so cruel towards everyone in their words. I know I should not care if other people are judging me, but it is so uncomfortable to imagine still. It is simpler to just avoid people and—”

  “Georgie.” Elizabeth took the girl’s hand and squeezed it. “You have nothing to worry about. You are sweet and likeable, and we will never speak nor think ill about you. My aunt will like you."

  “I know you will never say something mean about me when I am not present. I fancy you would never hide an ill opinion from someone. If I offend you, you will tell me so directly.”

  “I do not speak all of my mind to everyone, I assure you.”

  “But you like me. You are rude to those you like.
”

  Darcy grinned at Elizabeth, flashing his dimples. “That is quite right. I take it as a sign of affection that you slapped me and insulted me this morning. I can see our dear Georgie will not trust in your friendship until we find some cause for you to yell at her over."

  Elizabeth laughed. "But she seems so sweet. And demure. Georgie, if you offend or annoy me, I promise I shall find some kind way to speak of it to you, if that is what you wish."

  Elizabeth heard her shouts at Jane echo in her mind again. Whore, whore, whore. Well Jane deserved it. Jane had betrayed their sisterhood. She had betrayed everything Elizabeth believed her to be. She had—

  “Lizzy, did I say something—”

  “Shhh, she is thinking about her sister. Elizabeth, do remember that you love her. It is those who we have the greatest affection and respect for who can hurt us most."

  Tears slipped out of the edge of Elizabeth’s eyes, and Darcy handed her his handkerchief, was this the second or third which he’d given her today? She wiped at her cheeks and blew her nose. His smile was sympathetic, as though he understood exactly what she felt.

  Georgiana squeezed her hand. She could tell Darcy wished to, but also that he was determined to maintain some sort of propriety in front of his sister.

  The maid who opened the door exclaimed, “Miss Lizzy! You are well. There was such a to do when Mr. Phillips sent a letter saying you’d gone after Miss Jane.”

  The girl looked around, and her face fell. “You did not find your sister?

  “She is lost. Ruth, can you take us to the drawing room?”

  Miss Darcy was in fact shy when they were presented to the family. Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner and Kitty stood for the introduction as soon as the maid led the group to the drawing room. Her aunt and uncle bowed and curtsied in a frigid manner. With a cold feeling in her gut, Elizabeth remembered that she had told Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner about how Darcy had tried to make her his mistress.

  Mr. Gardiner looked at Darcy with almost a snarl. Darcy impassively met his stare. Mrs. Gardiner looked Elizabeth over, and then turned to Darcy with her own frown.

  After the introductions a silence stretched on. Elizabeth felt uncomfortable. It seemed a terribly long time during which the only sound was the low clicking of a pendulum clock swinging in the corner.

  Georgiana’s face was stiff and lacked the fluidity it had when she spoke with Elizabeth. She had promised Georgie they would make her welcome, but that was not happening.

  Mrs. Gardiner at last forced herself to speak, “We are always — I am glad to see you ended up here, Lizzy.” She then said in a perfunctory tone to Mr. Darcy, “We are obliged that you would transport our niece here."

  Darcy inclined his head. “It was a pleasure to be of service to her; I have the greatest respect for her."

  Mr. Gardiner spoke sharply, “We know how much you respect Elizabeth."

  Elizabeth flushed. She had been so stupid when she let Mama’s insults make her speak about Mr. Darcy’s offer.

  Everyone was quiet again. Besides the clock’s ticks, Elizabeth heard Kitty shuffling her feet, and she fancied she heard the way Georgiana’s hand tapped against her hip. Georgiana was now not looking at any of them, and Elizabeth felt a sharp anger at her aunt for not welcoming her new friend.

  The etiquette for a visit at such an odd hour was unclear, but in most cases Mrs. Gardiner would smile and ask her guests to sit for tea or coffee. “Mr. Darcy,” Elizabeth spoke suddenly, “it is a fair distance back to your house; do take some tea and biscuits before you leave.”

  Everyone sharply looked at her. It was extremely rude to her aunt to make such an offer on her behalf, and Darcy would see it. But neither her aunt nor uncle would rescind such an offer once it was made.

  Darcy shook his head, “I apologize, Miss Elizabeth, it is fairly late. Best we leave immediately.”

  Elizabeth looked at him, and felt a deep anxiety. When would she see him again?

  She needed to see him again soon.

  Darcy bowed stiffly to Mr. Gardiner and Mrs. Gardiner and said in an equally stiff voice some parting phrase.

  In a sudden birdlike gesture, Georgiana seized Elizabeth’s hands. “Lizzy, you must promise that you will call on us tomorrow. Do promise it. You said we should be friends."

  “Of course I shall call on you." Elizabeth felt her anxiety release. “When would you wish to see me?”

  “You will come?” Georgiana grinned brightly. “Might you visit early? Perhaps about ten thirty? I know it is irregular, but I do look forward to talking with you so much, and at those hours there will be no regular callers bothering us.”

  “I promise I will be there sharp.”

  The Darcys left. Elizabeth wished she could have grasped his hand and held it for long minutes before he left.

  If Jane could, she could too.

  “Did you find Jane?” Mr. Gardiner's voice was sarcastic and stressed. "Was your ridiculous idea that he abducted her false?”

  Elizabeth nodded, and collapsed into the nearest seat.

  “Well what happened — did you find her? I imagine you asked Mr. Darcy for help finding his friend? You should never have gone off on your own. Never. It is unladylike, and simply worsens the scandal. You should have had better sense. I trust your morals, but — what a family. What a family.”

  “Edward, you do not need to speak to her so — you can see Lizzy is quite unhappy.”

  “Lizzy,” Kitty now spoke for the first time. “Mr. Darcy is so handsome. I think he liked you, did you see Jane? Is she now living as a rich woman?"

  “Kitty!”

  “Aunt, it is quite impossible to pretend we are respectable and boring. And since Uncle Phillips said he would accept none of us but Mama, there is no point to pretending.”

  “What?” Elizabeth exclaimed, “Mr. Phillips has thrown us out?”

  Mr. Gardiner said angrily, “You and Jane threw yourselves out. And I’m half tempted to follow his example. If you shall speak so slightingly of immorality—”

  Kitty laughed. “La! I have had letters from Lydia — she would be happy for me to visit. She may even be able to find me a husband. You have quite failed to do that — though it was Mama’s dearest wish when she sent me off.”

  Elizabeth began to laugh. It was a dark sour sound. Mary was the only decent girl among them, and she achieved that by being less pretty and spending all her days listening to Mr. Collins. Lydia had married a blacksmith, Kitty now wished to marry one herself, Jane had become a rich man’s mistress, and Elizabeth — she would join Jane.

  She wanted to be better than Jane. She would beg Darcy to give her no money, no jewels, no clothes, nothing but a simple place to live, and perhaps some tiny annuity that would keep her fed when he tired of her. Then she would not be a whore, just a slut.

  Elizabeth’s laughs turned into tears. The world seemed so different than it had this morning. She frightened herself.

  Kitty seized Elizabeth’s hand and embraced her. “Oh, Lizzy. If it will make you miserable for me to seek a similar husband, I shall try to find someone respectable.”

  Elizabeth giggled through her tears and shook her head.

  Mrs. Gardiner had tea brought out and pushed a hot cup into Elizabeth’s hands. “Calm down, dear. Calm down. You are distressed, but while there is life, things are never so bad.”

  Elizabeth drank. She swirled the tea around her tongue before swallowing. Tears rolled down her cheeks again, and this time Elizabeth was not sure why.

  She continued to drink while her aunt rubbed at her shoulders and hands, and Mr. Gardiner said several times he knew Elizabeth was a good girl, and he meant nothing by what he had said. She and Kitty would always have a home here.

  At last Elizabeth ceased to cry; the presence of her family comforted her less than when Darcy had held her. She was not a good girl and did not wish to be.

  Holding her arm about Elizabeth’s shoulders, Mrs. Gardiner said, “Do tell us what happened. Where is Jane?�
��

  So Elizabeth told them where she found Jane, and what Jane had said.

  Kitty exclaimed, “She shall give me a dowry! How wonderful. Even if it is not much it shall let me find a better husband.”

  “Ha!” Mr. Gardiner’s manner was sardonic and angry. “I doubt that Mr. Bingley shall give her such money, and if he does, she shall then spend it upon herself. Quite like he made whatever promise to her she asked for, but he will not carry it out."

  Darcy would fill any promise he made. But Elizabeth could accept no money from him, not even for her sisters. That would make her a whore like Jane. She had said such hateful things to her sister. She must prove to be better than her in some respect.

  “La, even if he meant to never give any money, Jane is so pretty and sweet. She’ll go pretty, pretty please." Kitty pouted her mouth out as though kissing. “And then Bingley will do whatever she asks, just to make her happy. And Jane is too good to forget us.”

  “Your sister is not good. I begin to fear I must lock you up till you come of age. Should Mr. Bingley attempt to give you money, you shall not accept it. Your sister sold herself, and it would be immoral to accept any gains from that. It would be as if we sold her into slavery ourselves."

  “Mama will take anything given for me."

  “And then she would spend it. Kitty, one more word from you, and I shall set you to cleaning the pots in the kitchen.”

  Taking her uncle’s threat seriously, Kitty frowned and fell silent.

  Elizabeth had thought the example of her aunt and uncle’s behavior had a greater impact on Kitty than this. However, the shock of tonight’s events had brought out her truer opinions.

  They were quiet for a while. Mr. Gardiner slammed his fist against the dark blue velvet armrest of his chair. “If only we had made Jane marry Mr. Thomas."

  "But he was ugly, and Jane did not like him at all." Despite the situation Elizabeth repeated what she always said about Mr. Thomas. “Jane could never have been happy with such a man. She deserves better.”

  “She deserves nothing. She would have been married instead of…” Mr. Gardiner looked at Kitty. Then he shrugged. “Any delicacy either of you had has long been spoiled. She has become a whore. If she had married Mr. Thomas, her greed would have kept her lascivious nature from making her cuckold Mr. Thomas. Probably. My friend was wise to back away."