Alec's Dream (Gemini Group Book 4)
Page 21
Before I understood what was happening, he had me up the stairs passing the bedroom my kids were sleeping in. He paused long enough to look in. Both kids were sound asleep which didn’t surprise me. When they were out, they were out, and could sleep through pretty much anything. Though I’d been worried because they were in an unfamiliar bed. Good to know they were comfortable in Alec’s house enough to find sleep and stay that way.
Then we were in the master bedroom.
This didn’t seem like a good idea. Not even a little bit. I figured Alec had had enough of me and was taking me upstairs to one of his spare rooms so he could be rid of my crazy.
“I should go—”
“Shut it.”
My body jerked to a halt and I tried to tug my hand free but Alec held tight.
“Don’t tell me to shut up,” I seethed.
Alec didn’t respond, he simply locked his bedroom door and stalked to his bathroom pulling me behind him.
Once we were in front of the vanity he stopped, the t-shirt was gone, and the hard wall of his chest was pressed to my back.
“Wha—”
“What do you see?” he growled, his hands settled on my hips keeping me where he wanted me.
“What?”
Our eyes met in the reflection and he explained. “You said you’ve looked in a mirror and know what I see. I’m thinking you’re very wrong about that, so I want to know what it is you see.”
Oh no. No, no, no, we weren’t going there.
The shock of once again being naked had worn off and I struggled to get away.
“Let me go.”
“Not until you tell me what you see.”
“Why are you doing this to me?”
I hated that I sounded weak.
Despised my voice cracked.
I was learning to be strong, to stand up for myself, for my kids, but this was too much. I was naked in front of a mirror with Alec behind me.
“Be brave, baby, and tell me.”
I shook my head, frozen as humiliation swept over me from the tips of my toes, spreading until it consumed me.
Alec watched as the first tear rolled down my cheek. The bastard still didn’t let me go. He just stared at me expectantly—waiting.
“I can’t.”
His eyes left mine and I knew he was looking at his own reflection when he asked, “Tell me what you see when you look at me.”
That was easy so I answered, hoping once I did he’d end this stupid standoff and I could dress and get the hell away from him.
“You’re perfect. You’re a great dad. You’re good-looking. You have a good job, a nice house, a nice SUV. You dress well, have good friends. You’re capable, you’re strong, you’re protective. When I look at you I know I can never measure up to your level of perfection. That’s what I see—an unobtainable man I wish I was worthy of but I never will be, so I was better off dreaming about how good you were rather than knowing just how good.”
“Right.”
He nodded like he was agreeing but his frown told me not only did he not agree, he completely disapproved of my assessment. Which I did not understand because he was all those things.
“Wanna know what I see?” he asked, though he didn’t wait for my answer. “I see a man who is a piece of shit.”
The vehemence in his tone shook me to my core and hurt my heart that he could think that about himself.
“I see a man who made a child with a woman he met in a bar, took her home, fucked her not even bothering to know her last name. Not only do I have to live with that, my daughter does, too. I cannot tell Jocelyn stories about her mother, who she was, what she liked, if she could sing or dance or paint because I do not know a damn thing about the woman. What I do know is I’m grateful she’s dead. I’m pissed as fuck I lost three months of my child’s life and I would’ve lost more had Jaime not died. She was never going to tell me. So what I’m left with is a motherfucking note from a woman I fucked telling me she didn’t think I’d want my kid and she hopes I can understand why she didn’t tell me, and guilt over the fact I’m happy she fucking died.
“That’s who I see, Macy. A fucked-up, broken, piece of shit. I’ve lived my life in a way I never regretted a damn thing—except meeting a woman in a DC bar nearly two years ago and sticking my dick in her. So much for me being a great father. And let's not forget, when I first got Joss, I was so fucked up, lost, scared, I had no idea what to do with my own daughter besides thinking about putting her up for adoption. I have to live with that guilt and regret, too. Because now I look at that little girl and I cannot picture my life without her in it.
“That’s what I see. So now you tell me, Macy, what do you see when you look in the mirror?”
I did not bother trying to stop the flow of tears. I had no idea that this strong, handsome man was carrying all that around. The weight of his shame was palpable, I could feel it bearing down, washing over me so thick I could choke on it.
I hated it so much I wanted to make it go away.
“I see…I see a weak, ugly woman, who continually allowed herself to get beat down and walked on.
“I allowed my husband to cheat on me because I didn’t care he was. He’d told me so many times how much I sucked in bed, that I didn’t know how to turn him on, that I’d let myself go after having Caleb and he couldn’t stand the sight of me. I did not give one shit he was fucking other women because that meant he wasn’t touching me. I see an undesirable woman with stretch marks, saggy boobs, no shape, no figure. I see that because that’s what he told me and I’m so damn weak I can’t stop thinking it now that he’s gone.
“I see a woman who used a man and brought all the shame and humiliation on herself because I needed to buy time before I could leave. Everything is my fault. I’m the town chump and I brought that on myself, too. I own that. I married a loser who played me because I was too stupid to see it even though everyone warned me. But I’m an idiot and didn’t listen. I bought that, too—everyone knows what a moron I am.
“I see unattractive and unworthy. Broken. Ugly. Not enough. That’s what I see.”
I’d been so lost in my tirade I missed Alec’s arms coming around me locking me close, his face losing all of the self-rumination, replacing the brooding with something soft and gentle as he looked at me in the mirror.
Yes, I was naked, but that was not the reason I felt so exposed. I’d peeled back the façade and gave him my truth. Who I saw. Who I was.
“Baby, that is not who I see,” he whispered.
“I don’t believe what you see.”
“I know you don’t.”
As bizarre as it was, we fell into a comfortable silence, me buck-naked, him bare-chested, hugging me around my middle, our gazes locked in the mirror. And then it dawned on me, the whole time we’d been standing there his eyes had not roamed over my exposed breasts, they hadn’t gone lower either. They stayed on my face—the whole damn time.
Alec leaned forward and placed a kiss on my shoulder before he stepped back and grabbed my hand. Wordlessly he walked us to his bed. I got on, his pants came off, and he stood there looking down at me.
“Few things,” he muttered strangely. His hands went to my ankles and gently started spreading my legs apart, making room for him to crawl between them. “I need you to know.”
Alec kissed my inner thigh, sending a jolt of excitement straight between my legs. He placed another kiss on the other side and that time I felt my pussy contract. Good Lord. I waited for him to finish whatever he was going to say, thinking he needed to do that quickly while I could still understand the spoken word because my mind was getting fuzzy.
Then his mouth was between my thighs and I lost all coherent thought as Alec’s tongue edged my opening, teasing me until I was insane with lust. I reached down and fisted his hair, shoving him to me as my hips surged up.
“More.”
Alec gave me more but just barely. His mouth was working between my legs making magic happen but he was
holding back.
“Please, honey, I need more.”
He didn’t give me more. Instead he tore his mouth away, reared up and over me before he slammed his lips against mine. The kiss was wet and deep but all too short.
“I need you to taste what I taste, baby. How fucking sweet you are on my tongue.” Before I could recover from what his words did to me, his hand was moving between us. I felt the head of his dick at my entrance and he paused. “You on birth control?”
“Yeah.”
In one hard thrust, all the oxygen whooshed out of my lungs, leaving me breathless. I didn’t have time to catch my breath before he drove in again, this time harder.
“Need you to know what I feel. The inside of you is warm and soft. Can’t describe how good it feels,” he grunted. “Your pussy is so snug around my cock it feels like I’m being sucked back in every time I pull out. Sleek, wet, and tight. Fuck, Macy, swear to you, no one better.”
Alec had no idea how desperately I needed to hear all of that, even if it made me juvenile and silly, but my insecurities ran deep, and he was…well, Alec. Super sexy, perfect Alec.
“You are beautiful, inside and out, but no lie, Macy, you are gorgeous. Ass, tits, legs, your hair is fantastic. And straight up, no bullshit, your pussy feels like heaven. But more, me being inside you makes me feel alive.”
I really wanted to memorize all that he was saying. But I was having a hard time focusing on his words because through all of that, he’d been seriously fucking me. Not slow and gentle strokes, he was driving his dick in so deep I was amazed he could speak.
“Hard, honey.”
“You listening, Macy?”
“Yeah, Alec, but I need you to fuck me harder, honey. I’m close.”
I hitched my legs up higher and pressed my thighs against his sides.
“Good Christ.”
I felt his rumbled growl in my pussy and I knew he did too when I contracted around him. My muscles strained, my back arched, I was reaching for it, the pleasure was building. Alec balanced his weight on his forearms, took his now free hand and grabbed my breast, shoving it up so he could reach my nipple with his mouth and sucked so hard I saw stars. Yes, twinkling flashes of light clouded my vision as the most exquisite pain turned into heat.
It was still building higher, my hips matching his thrusts, creating friction exactly where I needed.
“Yes. God, so good, Alec. Harder, you won’t hurt me.”
His hand left my breast, went under my ass and he moved me faster. All of it was too much, yet not enough. I wanted more of him. I wanted him to lose control. I needed him to.
“Dammit, Alec, harder.”
The air in the room changed. It crackled with something sinister and I was worried that I’d awoken something I wasn’t sure I could handle. I knew this was the case when he released my nipple and his gaze came to mine.
And there it was, his eyes were ablaze with fire. Only this wasn’t the kind I’d witnessed before. This was something new.
Sinister didn’t cover it.
Alec lifted to his knee, shoved my legs back so I was damn near folded in half.
“You want it harder?”
“Yes.”
His hands on the back of my thighs holding me where he wanted, his gaze not on my face but between my legs where he was sliding his dick slowly in and out.
“Hold your legs back,” he instructed.
I quickly did his bidding. His hands moved, one going to my nipple, rolling and pinching until I was panting.
“Please.”
“Tell me what you want.”
“Everything.”
Alec froze and all movement ceased.
“Alec,” I whined. “Don’t stop.”
He didn’t move and my heart which had been pounding from exhilaration was now beating hard for a very different reason.
“Alec?” I whispered.
“No hiding, Macy. You want everything, baby, it is yours. But I need everything back.”
“Alec.” My eyes started to close against the intensity of his stare.
“Look at me.” When I did, he proceeded to knock my world sideways. “Do you see me yet?”
“Yes,” I breathed my answer because I was finding it hard to speak.
“I’m gonna build you up, Macy. You’re gonna fly so high, you’ll be free of everything that was weighing you down.”
“I’m scared of that.”
“Nothing for you to be scared of.”
“I’m falling, Alec.”
God, I can’t believe I admitted that. He was probably going to think I was some sort of crazy person. It was too soon to have those kinds of feelings but they were there. And if he wanted honesty—there he had it.
“Good, baby, you keep falling. And when you’re ready to let go, tell me and I’ll jump with you.”
“I think I just did.”
“You gonna give me everything?”
“Yeah.”
“Good. Now you mind if I finish fucking you so I can clean you up and tuck you in.”
“If you must.” I shrugged like it was no big thing even though I’d pretty much die if he didn’t hurry and get down to business.
“Might need to spank you for that.”
“If that’s part of you getting back to fucking me, I’m down. But can we hurry?”
Alec loomed over me. Big, broad chest on display, nice defined pectoral muscles, flat stomach that didn’t have the cut of a six-pack, but was sexier than any fitness model I’d ever seen, the whole package was sexy as hell. But when Alec brought his thumb to his lips and licked the pad before doing the same to his middle finger, all the while not taking his eyes off me—now that had to be the second most sexiest thing I’d ever seen.
The first being when he told me to watch as he fucked me on the washer.
“You sure you want this?” he asked as he started plucking my nipple.
“Yes.”
His hand moved to the other side, tweaking my other nipple before he gave it a hard pinch.
“You think you can handle me rough?” He dragged his dick out slowly before filling me again. “Christ, Macy, my cock dippin’ in you bare and coming out wet is downright fucking hot.”
He had that right, it was hot, so hot, excitement flooded between my legs.
“Fuck yeah,” Alec groaned. “Gonna fuck you now, baby.”
Alec didn’t fuck me, he powered into me, filling me so full I thought I’d split in half. It didn’t take him long to build us back to where we’d been before our heart-to-heart.
“Oh, God,” I moaned, my orgasm barreling into me fast. “Please don’t stop.”
I wasn’t sure what to concentrate on—his thumb on my clit, his fingers plunking my nipple, his dick pounding deep. All of it so overwhelming I couldn’t stop the onslaught of pleasure.
“Fuck, Macy. So damn good. Gonna come with you.” Alec shoved my hands away from my legs and fell forward, giving me his weight. Right before his mouth took mine he demanded, “Wrap your legs around me and hold the fuck on.”
My muscles protested their new position but I did as he asked and held the fuck on as tightly as I could until his thrusts become choppy and planted deep. Groaning his pleasure in my mouth I tasted something new, something sweeter, something I never thought I’d get from a man—fidelity.
Sweetest taste ever.
28
Alec sat at his desk, his cell to his ear, listening to Jameson.
“That didn’t take long,” Alec noted.
“Nope. Fucker was exactly where Jonny thought he’d be.”
“He give you any problems?”
“Followed him from his buddy’s shit house to an even shitter house where he went in to play cards. Waited for him to get done and we had words on the street, explained his residency in Kent County had been revoked and he wasn’t to ever contact Macy or the kids again, and certainly wasn’t to attempt a physical approach. Spencer took one look at me and decided to play it sma
rt and agreed. But just to make my point, I told him we were diggin’ into his debt and if he ever showed his face again, I’d personally make sure every bookie, bud who runs a sports book, and gambling house in the area knew he was talking to the authorities and giving out names. The stupid fuck didn’t even argue, just said “whatever” and that’s a direct quote.”
“You fucking joking?”
“Not even a little bit. Didn’t bat an eye when I told him he’d never see or talk to his kids again. Didn’t say shit about Jonny or his parents. And if he’s heard about Malone fucking with Macy he didn’t ask about that either. All I got from him was a ‘whatever’. Then he asked if we were done and went on his way.”
“Goddamn,” Alec muttered.
Doug Spencer was a son of a bitch so Alec shouldn’t have been surprised, yet he was. Spencer was going to let Macy and his kids swing to save his own ass. Total shitbag, and to make it worse, he hadn’t even put up a fight. Not that Jameson would’ve backed down, but the man did nothing.
Shaking his head, Alec went on, “You coming home today?”
“Gonna stay down here one more day, make sure Spencer sees me around.”
“’Preciate it.”
“Know you do. I hear y’all are at my house tonight. Kennedy’s happy for the company.”
“The girls were planning to get together at my house for booze and henpecking. Normally I’d be down for my woman getting tipsy then coming to bed, but with you out of town, Kennedy needs to be alert. And with everything going on, I need Macy to be vigilant. I explained and Macy agreed. We’d already planned on taking the kids to your place so they can meet Tank. Macy and Kennedy can do their thing and I’ll stay outside.”
“You do know there’ll be henpecking even without the booze.” Jameson chuckled.
“Figured.”
“Don’t think you understand, brother. I’ve walked in on some conversations that I cannot unhear. Just so you know, Kennedy, McKenna, and Silver share everything, and I mean everything. I’m sure they’re dying to pull Macy into that—which means brace. Not all that happy about my woman hearing all about what my brothers are packing and how they use what they got, but since I got nothing to worry about in that department and I know I measure the biggest, it’s all good.”