by J. B. Havens
Solid Steel
A Steel Corps Novella
JB Havens
Contents
A Note from the Author
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Epilogue
Other Books by J.B. Havens
About the Author
A Note from the Author
If you’re reading this, dear reader, then you’ve been on the amazing journey with Mic and Steel Corps for four books now. She’s grown and changed, fought and overcome immense challenges. Now she is facing her biggest challenge so far. Parenthood. Thank you for your loyalty and your love. I hope you enjoy this last Steel book. Yes, you read that right. LAST STEEL book. I know, I know; I said that before, right? Bound by Steel was supposed to be it, but here comes another one. This novella ties up loose threads and really ends the saga in a way that Bound by Steel couldn’t. Mic’s voice in my head has gone silent. She’s moved on and so must I. That being said, I have not stopped writing. Molly Everett is my focus now. Her voice is demanding to be heard and she has many stories to tell.
As a mother myself, I know the sacrifices and joys that being a parent brings. That’s why this book, more than any other, is dedicated to my children. They are my greatest achievement. Sonny, Eva, and Ruby, this is for you guys. I hope one day you will read this and see what I was doing all those times I was at my desk, typing away. I was doing this for you, for us. To make a better life for us and I hope one day you will be as proud of me as I am of you three.
To my husband, thanks for supporting me and loving me even though we both know I’m a little nuts. But you like my special brand of crazy, just as I like yours. I know the chances of you seeing this dedication are slim, because you’re a butt head who doesn’t read my books. But on the off-chance you do see this, I love you. Always.
To Mom and Aunt Linda. Happy reading and thank you for your continued support and encouragement. Love you both.
Connie, my editor and friend. You’re awesome; thank you for everything you’ve done and keep on doing for me. I wouldn’t be anywhere as an author without you. Thank you.
Sam, Kelle, Jess, and Jules, your love of Mic brought us all together. The magic of books and the words within them bind us into a deep and lasting friendship that is hard to explain. Love you girls.
Fondly, J.B.
Chapter One
One more step, that’s it. You can do this! Fuck me, why is this so hard? I’ve gone on countless missions, helped take down regimes, and here I am, standing in my pajamas forcing myself to take the last waddling step down the stone staircase.
“Mic! Come on!” Chris was standing at the bottom, waiting for me.
He’d tried to help me, but I’d slapped him away. I was pregnant, not handicapped, thank you very much. “Calm your tits, Chris. I’m the one about to push a baby out of my vag, not you, so shut the hell up.” My small frame was top heavy and cumbersome, the weight of our child pushing down inside me. My water had broken about an hour ago and now my contractions were getting closer together.
“Woman! Don’t fucking tell me to calm down.” He paced anxiously, moving his arms back and forth, from under his armpits to crossing them in front of his chest, then down to his sides, and back up. His anxiety was pouring off him in waves and sweat created a sheen on his forehead.
“Jordon, seriously, chill out, man. People have babies every day. It’s going to be fine. Mic is good. She’s still walking and everything. It’s not as if she’s about to drop this baby like a cow in a pasture.”
“Shut the fuck up, Flynn,” Jordon snapped, glaring at his smaller friend.
“If you two don’t shut your fucking pie holes, I’m leaving you both here.” I was freaking out inside, but didn’t want to let on. Motherhood was never something I’d aspired to and here it was on its way like a freight train barreling down the tracks. Ready or not, this was happening. The crib was assembled, the dresser was full of tiny clothes, and diapers were stacked in their boxes ready to be used. The boys had had a wonderful time putting everything together and prepping the nursery. Jones had set up a camera in the corner and a high-tech baby monitor that I wasn’t even sure we needed. With the stone walls, most sounds echoed easily in the castle. I was sure that a screaming infant would be easily heard, not to mention the fact that this little one was going to have a regiment of uncles watching over him or her. We didn’t know what the sex was; we had decided to be surprised since this was likely going to be our only child.
“Is my aunt on her way?” I asked as I held Chris’s arm and made my way duck-like to the front doors. He had my hospital bag and a diaper bag slung over the same shoulder that was more accustomed to carrying equipment and cradling rifle stocks. The cheerful paisley print of the baby bag looked strange against his black t-shirt and tactical pants. I didn’t care for the bag, preferring to use a simple backpack, but Aunt Beatrice had insisted on some traditional baby things for us. She was so delighted for her first grandchild that I didn’t have the heart to naysay her.
“Yeah, she called from the airport. After the squealing died down, she said she’d meet us at the hospital.” Chris opened the front door, and holding my hand, helped me down the steps. Another contraction hit me like a steel wave, taking my breath. I stopped, unable to move for a moment. He rubbed the small of my back, standing with me until the sharp tight pain subsided.
“They’re getting stronger.” I panted, out of breath from the intensity of the contraction. I felt like I’d been on a run; my chest hurt with the need for oxygen and my belly was tight as a drum. I rubbed the swell and inhaled slowly.
“Come on.” He opened the door to the Rover, helping me inside before buckling my seat belt. I looked behind me, noticing the already-installed car seat waiting for its tiny occupant. That had been fun, watching Chris and Jones wrestle the seat into place amid much cursing and a few skinned knuckles.
“Hold down the fort; we’ll call when we can.” All of the boys stood on the steps waving us off. Jones; Nickoli; Flynn with Red at his side, holding her hand tightly; and Rook and Rosa, who waved cheerfully. She was so excited for the baby, not feeling the same level of panic as the others. She came from a family full of siblings and cousins and didn’t fear babies in the least. The rest of us were more comfortable storming a compound, disarming a nuclear bomb, or cutting off a limb, than changing diapers or burping a baby.
Chris’s door shut and we were off. He honked the horn and waved his hand out the open window. The cool night air felt amazing on my hot face, drying the sweat that was trickling down my temples. I wiped at it with the back of my hand. At least I could take care of this. I could do nothing about the puddle slowly growing in my bra. Chris reached across the console, grasping my hand and squeezing it tight. Another contraction welled up, getting worse each nano-second. I huffed and panted as it crested.
“Ooo…” I blew out air as I’d been taught in Lamaze class. Controlling my breathing really did help get through the pain.
“You okay, Bea?”
I shook my head. This contraction wasn’t easing up as quickly as the others had. It was more intense and lasted longer. Tight forceful agony gripped me around my abdomen and into my back. As slowly as it began, the pain eased off. I exhaled in relief. One more down, only a thousand more to go. “Drive faster.”
Glancing at me quickly, Chris raised his eyebrows and put his attention back to the road. The engine roared as he stomped down harder on the accelerator. I dared any cop to try and stop us. The contractions grew closer together as we
sped toward the hospital. I ignored the traffic around us, the honking of horns as Chris cut people off, all of it. My focus was centered on the pain and the life my body was fighting to bring into the world. It seemed like only moments later we were pulling up to the hospital and Chris was jumping out and running to get a wheelchair. Since it was so late at night, we had to go into the emergency room and then up to maternity.
“Good thinking; I’m not sure I’d be too steady on my feet right now.” I cautiously stepped out of the Rover and took a seat in the chair.
“Just hang on, baby. You’ve got this.” Chris’s voice was high, excitement and fear constricting his vocal cords.
He wheeled me up the ramp to the A&E, the Scottish version of the American ER. The doors slid open and in we went. The room was about half-full, with a few parents rocking red-cheeked toddlers and an old woman sitting alone. A nurse approached us and took in the situation.
“Here, love, let me take over.” She pushed my giant bodyguard and father-to-be aside and took the wheelchair.
“Shit, here’s another one.” I leaned forward with the force of the contraction, groaning from the pain gripping my stomach and lower back.
“Let’s get you upstairs sweetie, looks like you don’t have much longer to go!” The nurse was cheery and bright, humming as she quickly pushed me to the elevator.
I glared at her, gritting my teeth as the contraction passed, wanting nothing more than to smack the cheerful smile off her fucking face. Chris reached over and patted my shoulder as the nurse pushed the button for the fifth floor.
“Are you excited? We’re finally going to meet this little guy or girl. Jones already picked out the baby’s first rifle.”
I laughed even though I was afraid and anxious about the impending birth. I felt gut-wrenching terror about becoming a mom, too. I knew nothing about babies or parenting. My own childhood had been a nightmare worthy of a Stephen King novel and my adult life hadn’t been much better so far. Bringing a baby into this world was the scariest thing I’d ever attempted. I’d been tortured, beaten, and shot at, but I had never felt as afraid then as I was now. “I’m scared,” I whispered, hating that I even needed to admit it.
“You don’t have to be. I’m here with you and I’m not going anywhere.” Chris clutched my hand tightly, causing my ring to dig into my finger with the force of his hold. The nurse from downstairs handed me off to a labor and delivery nurse who pushed me into a private room.
“How are you doing, sweetie? My name is Rebecca and I’ll be with you the whole time. Looks like your labor is progressed very well. Shouldn’t be long now.” She and Chris worked together, helping me to stand. Another contraction hit, the pain doubling me over.
“Ooohhh…” I moaned as the pain intensified. My hands gripped both Rebecca’s and Chris’s tightly, their strength keeping me upright.
“That’s it, breathe through the pain.” Rebecca rubbed the small of my back, murmuring to me. Her words were lost, as my whole world was my pain and the child inside of me. Nothing outside my little bubble existed. “Help me get her onto the bed,” Rebecca said to Chris. They turned me around and sat me down on the edge. “Now sweetie,” she began as I wiped my sweaty hair out of my eyes, “we need to get you into a gown and the midwife will come in and check your cervix, okay? I think baby is going to be here really soon, so we need to get it done quickly. Do you understand?”
I nodded, too out of it to bother talking. Together they stripped me down and slipped a gown onto my arms and over my belly. Settling me back into the bed, the nurse began to hook me up to blood pressure, fetal heart rate, and contraction monitors. She also started an IV and hung a bag of saline.
“Jesus Christ, am I wired for sound too?”
The nurse smiled and replied, not with words, but with the push of a button on the monitor. The reverberation was muffled, like a fast drum being played underwater. Ba-bump-ba-bump. It was the most wonderful sound. We’d heard it before of course, at the many OB appointments over the past few months. I was about to meet my baby.
“Yup, that’s your baby. Heart rate looks great, well within the normal range.” Rebecca tapped one of the round grey discs hooked to straps around my belly and explained, “This one monitors your contractions, while the other one monitors the baby’s heart rate. We’ll only need to leave that one on for about twenty minutes or so. I know it’s not the most comfortable thing, but it’s important we have a good baseline of the baby’s heart rate.” She pulled my gown back over my stomach and tucked a soft blanket over me. “Just keep breathing; you’re doing great. The midwife will be here in a few minutes.”
The door softly closed behind her and Chris and I were left alone. I shifted around, trying to find a more comfortable position, which was nearly impossible. The baby was sitting right on my bladder, I kept feeling more fluid leaking from my broken water, and the pains were coming every three minutes now.
“Ugh, this sucks. Why do women do this!?” I bitched, grunting and panting through another contraction. When it passed, I looked at Chris’s hand. His knuckles were bloodless and white from how hard I’d been squeezing.
“That was a good one, huh? Look at the paper.” He pointed to a narrow strip of white coming from the contraction monitor. The peaks spiked up and stayed up for a bit before falling back down. “You’re making the line go all the way to the top.”
“I don’t need a goddamn monitor to tell me I’m in labor.” I shifted around some more, unable to get comfortable on the firm bed for more than a few minutes at a time.
He chuckled and kissed my forehead, tucking strands of sweaty hair behind my ear. “I know that. I’m so proud of you. You’re going to be an amazing mother.”
“Well of course she is! I raised her!”
I looked up to find Aunt Beatrice shutting the door behind her and rushing to my side. She gripped my hand with one of hers as the other went to my giant baby bump. As soon as she laid her hand on me, another contraction started.
“Uhh…” I moaned, my body tightening up so hard I was sure I would snap in two. I wrapped my arms around my belly and held on, gasping and sweating. I cursed aloud. “Fucckk!”
“I’ll let that slide, considering you’re in labor right now, young lady.” Aunt Beatrice stood beside the bed, she and Chris flanking me on either side and giving me their support. Tears were falling down her cheeks as she smiled. Pure joy shone from her face like a beacon. She didn’t have to say a word; her presence made me certain everything was going to be okay. My fear disappeared as determination rose in its place.
I can do this.
The midwife softly knocked and entered the room, rubbing some sanitizer on her hands. “Hello Bea, my darling. How’re we doing today?”
“Just how the hell do you think I’m doing?” I gasped in pain as pressure built in my pelvis. Bracing a hand behind me, I heaved myself upward, desperate to move and not really understanding why. My body was taking over my mind, instinct guiding me. Nature was telling me what to do and I no choice but to listen.
“Here, lay on back, let me check and see how things are progressing. I have a feeling you don’t have much longer to go.” She pulled on gloves and helped get my heels together and knees apart. “I know this is uncomfortable, but just hang in there.” She examined me and after a few awkward seconds, stripped off her gloves with a big smile. “You’re fully dilated; time to have a baby!”
I blew out a giant huff of air in relief. This was almost over! “You ready, Chris?”
“The better question is, are you?”
I nodded in response, unable to speak during the contraction that was slamming into me. He held my hand and stayed by my side as the nurses came in and took the bottom of the bed off. Things were moved around, the warmer in the corner was turned on for the baby, blankets were readied, and gowns and gloves were donned.
“You can start pushing whenever you feel the need to, Bea. Don’t worry about us, you focus on your contractions. Push with
the contraction for a count of ten and remember to pant,” the midwife instructed.
Suddenly, the pressure in my pelvic floor increased ten-fold. I puffed out my cheeks and bore down, pushing hard as the next pain crested.
“That’s brilliant! Good girl! Count of ten, keep going!”
Chris held up my right leg behind my knee, planting my foot on his shoulder, while Aunt Beatrice did the same with the left. The weight of my limbs was too much for me to hold. My sole focus was on bringing this baby into the world. I blocked out everyone else and centered on the pains and pushing in time with them.
“Okay, here comes another contraction; push as hard as you can, Bea. This should be it!” The midwife spoke from the stool where she sat between my legs.
I nodded, not wasting my breath on words. The pain rose, a wave of tight agony and pressure. I exhaled, tucked my chin to my chest, and pushed down as hard as I could. Sweat poured down my swollen red face. A burning pain seared through my privates and I screamed.
“That’s it! The head is born! Don’t push now, okay? Pant, Bea. Just pant.” The nurse breathed along with me, to remind me how.
I huffed and puffed while my entire being was shouting at me to push again and make the pain stop. I’d bled for my men more times than I could count, but never had I felt agony like this. It wasn’t just the pain, it was also the pressure, as if I was an overfilled balloon ready to burst.
“Bea, oh my god.” Chris looked down at me, his eyes shining with unshed tears.
“Bea, push now!” The midwife instructed. I didn’t hesitate, I pushed and pushed, screaming from the burning pain that I was sure was ripping me to shreds.
