The Grey Woman: You never know who's watching

by M J Hardy

“What are you talking about?” Suddenly, I feel nervous as I sense change coming. What does he mean, start again, will I lose my job and be out on the street?

  “Charles is my lawyer and he’s worked out the final settlement with Cressida. He has lodged files with her solicitor outlining the details of the divorce and she would be a fool to refuse.”

  “But what if she does, and why do we have to lie low? What about the girls, are they safe?”

  “Nicola is back and has been instructed to watch over them. Cressida is probably currently reeling from the conversation I just had with her before we left. It’s over, Emma, I’ve won as I always knew I would.”

  “But how and where does this leave me?”

  “By my side, where you belong. I’ve been fighting this attraction since the moment I set eyes on you. It was bad timing and could have messed with my mind. So, I hired you to keep you close and now I can stop fighting it and see where it leads us.”

  “Don’t I get a say in the matter?”

  I ask but he’s right. I can’t refuse him anything and he knows it. Pulling over to the kerb, he cuts the engine and turns to look at me with the intense stare I am accustomed to. “Well?”

  “Well what?

  “You want your say, so hit me with it.”

  Now I have the opportunity to tell him exactly what I think of him, my words dry up. The way he is looking at me is what was in my dreams at night. The words he’s spoken I’ve imagined in my head over and over again, and every sharp word and derogatory comment means nothing right now. So, I just shrug and look away. “You’ll have to work a bit harder than this to make up for what you’ve put me through over the past few weeks.”

  He reaches out and takes my hand, raising it to his lips and kisses it softly. Then he lifts my hair away from my eyes and runs his thumb across my lips. “I want you, Emma, and I always get what I want. I told you, you intrigue me and these past few weeks have proved to me how strong you are. When I saw you with my daughters, it showed me the woman I was always meant to find. Strong, beautiful and kind with a softness that’s irresistible to any man. So, Emma Carter, will you allow me to prove to you that you matter a great deal to me and forgive me for ever making you think otherwise?”

  I can’t resist him, as much as I am trying to, it’s too much and so, I nod slowly and once again, his lips find mine and kiss me slowly, softly and as if he genuinely loves me. My heart flutters like in the movies and the last piece of the wall I have built between us, crumbles to dust. I can’t fight him, it’s impossible, so I give in to what my heart and body want and kiss him back with everything I’ve got.

  33

  I’m in love. I can’t believe it’s happened, but I actually love Julian Landon.

  For the past two days we’ve been inseparable. We have stayed in a beautiful country hotel just outside London and haven’t left the room. We’ve talked, slept and eaten amazing meals for two, delivered by room service in the best suite the hotel offers. We haven’t dressed and have just worn dressing gowns and fed each other morsels of the finest food prepared by award-winning chefs.

  We have made love for hours and explored each other until I feel as if I know every part of him. We’ve watched old movies and drank wine and talked long into the night.

  How could I not fall in love with such a charismatic man and I don’t think I have ever been as happy in my life?

  Two days later, everything changes.

  Julian’s phone rings and as I walk into the room dripping from the shower, I see him answer it with a frown. The conversation is short, but the look he gives me tells me it’s not a happy call. He says tersely, “Of course, we’ll be right there.”

  “What is it?” My voice is anxious because the look in his eyes is scaring me. Reaching out, he pulls me close and wraps his arms around me, as if to protect me from what he’s about to say.

  “They’ve found your husband.”

  Grateful for his strength, I collapse against his body, my legs shaking so much I can hardly stand. “Ronnie.” I whisper his name as if I can’t believe it. “Where is he?”

  He squeezes me tighter and says in a low voice, “I’m sorry, my darling.”

  “Sorry, what are you sorry about?”

  I feel the hysteria rising and my voice comes out high and frightened. Pulling me next to him on the bed, he takes my hands and looks deep into my eyes. “I’m so sorry, he’s dead.”

  “Dead?” I struggle to understand what he’s saying and the tears just trickle from my eyes as my brain struggles to register what he’s saying “Dead?” I whisper the word as if its meaning escapes me. “How?”

  He strokes my hair and wipes the tears away, saying softly, “It appears that he was murdered.”

  That was the last thing I heard because I wake up lying on the bed with a cold flannel pressed to my forehead. Julian is stroking my head and whispering, “It’s ok, Emma, let it sink in. Cry all you want.”

  I think I’m in shock because I can’t even cry and just repeat, “Ronnie’s dead?”

  It must take a good ten minutes before I sit up and say in a broken voice, “How?”

  “I don’t know the details, but we need to attend the police station. They want to question you and they…”

  “What?”

  I feel frightened as he says with an edge to his voice, “They want you to formally identify the body.”

  Nodding, I make to stand and Julian says gently, “Do you need more time for it to sink in?”

  “No.” My voice is hoarse. “I must see for myself. I need to understand what happened.”

  As we get ready to leave, I feel as if I’m in a trance. Ronnie is dead, I can’t believe it.

  It doesn’t take us long to reach the police station and we are shown to an interview room where the detective in charge of the case is waiting. Julian sits beside me and I’m grateful for that because inside I’m a mess and am struggling to take it all in.

  The detective arranges for some tea, for the shock I think, and tells us what he knows already.

  “We were called to a park on the west side of town where a dog walker reported a body floating in the nearby river. We recovered it and found a man who we believe to be your husband, floating face down with severe stab wounds to his chest and neck.”

  I think I’m going to be sick and Julian squeezes my hand reassuringly. “There are signs of a struggle, but other than that no witnesses. We are scheduled to carry out a post mortem today but need you to identify the body, if you feel up to it, of course.”

  I just nod and the detective looks at me sympathetically. “I’m so sorry, Mrs Carter, this must be extremely difficult for you.”

  I have no words and just nod as we make our way out of the room and then the building. The detective takes us the short distance to the morgue where Ronnie is waiting and I feel cold and empty inside. I can’t shake images of him being brutally murdered while I was happier than I have ever been in my life. It’s almost as if this is my punishment for daring to think I could be happy, and I feel disgusted with myself. If only I had listened to him and moved to the North of England, none of this would have happened and he would be alive today. I know I’m being hard on myself, but it’s how I feel. Poor Ronnie, he didn’t deserve this, and I will do everything in my power to help the police catch the man responsible.

  We walk into the sterile room where the bodies are kept and stand beside one of the cold storage units as they unfasten the catch. Julian holds onto me as they slide the body out and as they lift the sheet covering him, I see the lifeless body of the man I loved, battered, bloodied and as cold as ice. He looks strangely serene in death, in direct contrast to how he looked the last time I saw him. Whatever problems he had are now long gone because he is at peace now.

  The tears fall fast as I nod and say weakly, “It’s him, Ronnie Carter, my husband.”

  The detective nods and the sheet is replaced and I fall into Julian’s arms, sobbing as if my heart is broken.
r />   And when we leave the station, I leave part of that heart behind with Ronnie. How has this happened and why him? I told the detective what I knew. I told him about Caroline and the affair. I told him about Stuart and the threats he made, and I told him about the money and the break in at the house. I told him everything but how I feel because I’m not even sure I know myself. Whatever Ronnie did wasn’t bad enough to be murdered over, was it?

  34

  Julian wants to take me back to the guest house, but I refuse. I need to go home, my real home, and meet with Ronnie’s family and sort everything out. He offers to come with me, but I tell him no. It wouldn’t be right, and I owe it to Ronnie to deal with this as his wife and not another man’s mistress.

  So, Julian gives me the space I need and returns home, leaving me to somehow get through this nightmare the right way, as Ronnie deserves.

  It’s two weeks before the body is released for burial. During that time, the police conduct their enquiries and arrest Stuart and Caroline.

  It turns out that she wasn’t being straight with me and was as much to blame as her husband. She did have an affair with Ronnie, but Ronnie ended it and told her he wanted to make a go of it with me. That’s why he was so desperate to move away where they couldn’t find us, and the money in the shoe box was what he saved from gambling. The reason he was murdered was because Caroline had told Stuart he raped her. She was frightened at what he would do to her when he found out she had cheated on him, so made up a terrible story about Ronnie subjecting her to a vicious attack.

  Stuart was a violent man with a well-known temper. They had been watching the house, and Caroline was sent in to see if I knew anything. As it turns out, Ronnie did return that night, probably for the money, and they followed him.

  He was kept bound and gagged in one of their units and suffered terrible injuries before they stabbed him repeatedly and left his body in the river. Not exactly the crime of the century, but my story helped, along with the DNA leading the police to their door. Caroline confessed everything for a more lenient sentence, which meant the case was wrapped up quickly and cleanly.

  However, I am left with the realisation that when Ronnie really needed me; I was too selfish to do as he asked. I put my own needs above my husband’s and I will never forgive myself for that.

  Julian has tried several times to contact me but I’ve ignored his calls. I feel too ashamed at what we did while Ronnie was butchered to death and I know I’m being too hard on myself, but I need to mourn in my own way.

  Exactly one week after the funeral, I head back to work.

  As soon as I walk into Crossline, it feels as if I’m home. The nightmare of the past few weeks hasn’t gone away, but I’m in a better place emotionally and feel able to move forward with my life, which I hope includes Julian Landon. I haven’t spoken to him and am worried about his reaction when I see him. He will be angry; I know that but I hope he lets me explain myself because if I’ve come to realise anything, it’s that life’s too short and I need to grasp my future with both hands.

  As I make my way to the executive lift, it’s as if I’ve never been away. Everything looks the same and feels the same. Life goes on, even when it ends for someone important. It almost feels wrong to be walking, talking and eating, but I know I must if I’m to survive.

  The lift is full and my fellow workers look at me with curiosity but remain silent. I’m not surprised because I have been away for a long time and they may have heard what happened. Nobody likes to talk about death and loss, illness or anything that raises an emotion in a person they are not equipped to deal with. So, it’s with considerable relief that I exit the lift and walk towards Julian’s office, steeling myself for the meeting we are about to have.

  Will he still want me? The nerves are gripping me tightly as I face the possibility he doesn’t. What if he’s moved on and found my replacement? I wouldn’t blame him because I’ve been so cold towards him. He’s sent flowers, chocolates, notes and messages, but I haven’t responded once.

  However, as I reach his office door, I take a deep breath and prepare to face the consequences of my actions and knock loudly.

  “Come in.”

  My legs shake as I push the door open and walk inside. Then I blink in disbelief as I see the man watching me approach, smiling slyly as I stare in amazement.

  “Good morning, Mrs Carter.”

  “Mr Slater.” My voice is but a whisper as I stare at him in confusion. Then he laughs, a low, hollow sound that tells me everything.

  “Take a seat, Mrs Carter, you must be wondering what’s going on.”

  My mouth is dry as I walk towards the chair set before the desk and perch on the edge anxiously.

  He leans forward and stares at me with a triumphant look and says relishing every word, “You’re fired, Mrs Carter.”

  I stare at him with a stunned expression and he laughs. “Yes, I have no role for you here, as Louise my own personal assistant is more than willing and able to fill your shoes. In case you are wondering, we have the right to fire you after three months, which is up tomorrow. Sorry that it didn’t work out, but these things can’t be helped.”

  My mouth is dry and I can’t form words as he pulls a piece of paper from his desk and makes a show of reading it. Then he says in a rough voice, “It appears that you lied on your original application. We checked and you have never worked as the personal assistant of the chief executive of Gascon Industries. You also fabricated paragraphs of your CV that appear to be directly copied from two other much more qualified applicants and we believe you accessed their files through your role as a cleaner here.”

  I want him to stop, but he is obviously enjoying this way too much as he laughs. “Impressive, Mrs Carter, but extremely foolish. Did you really think an organisation such as this one doesn’t check its staff out? I’m surprised that Julian agreed to let you in, but then again, I expect it’s because you were screwing him behind his wife’s back. Classy, Mrs Carter, very classy, which shows just what lengths you will go to get what you want.”

  “You’re a fine one to talk, Mr Slater.”

  I feel the fire return as I field his blow with one of my own and he laughs. “Yes, the saying, ‘it takes one to know ones,’ rings true in our case but I am way cleverer than you because I cover my tracks. In fact, I am so superior to you in every way because you are a nobody, Mrs Carter. You always were and always will be. Now, Harriet will mail your P45 and in the circumstances, I don’t believe we can offer you a good recommendation. Just count your blessings that we’re not going to prosecute, so get out while I’m still in a good mood.”

  “What’s this, Mr Slater, are you doing Julian’s dirty work for him these days?”

  Raising his eyes, he looks at me in surprise and laughs softly. “You haven’t heard then?”

  A cold feeling grips me inside and I stutter, “Heard what?”

  “That Julian Landon is currently under investigation for fraud and has been suspended from his role at Crossline while the police investigate. Yes, a lot has happened over the past few weeks, which led to a few changes around here. I am acting CEO and I must say it’s been a long time coming. So, if you don’t mind, Mrs Carter, I have a lot to do. You will find security waiting to escort you from the premises.”

  I say no more and leave without looking at his satisfied smirk. Julian is under investigation, for what, I don’t understand?

  My mind is filled with so much information I can’t process it and as I exit the office, I am greeted by Jack who looks a little upset and says kindly, “I’m sorry, Emma. I need your security pass.”

  Nodding, I hand him the lanyard and walk with him to the lift, my mind working at a million miles an hour.

  As we head silently down, he clears his throat and says quietly, “I’m sorry to hear about your husband.”

  “Thank you.” He looks uncomfortable and says kindly, “Would you like me to call you a taxi?”

  “No, it’s fine, thank you.�
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  We soon reach the ground floor and I walk with him to the revolving doors and he holds out his hand. “Good luck, Emma, I’m sorry it didn’t work out.”

  “Thank you, Jack.” I smile, but inside my heart is breaking. How did this happen? I wasn’t here for Julian when he needed me, just like Ronnie. I wonder how he is coping?

  As I step outside, I take a few deep breaths and try to control my mind. I need to get it together and see if I can be of any help. I can’t let Julian down as I did Ronnie, so, grabbing my phone, I call him. However, there is no connection, just the recorded message telling me there is no such number and my heart lurches in fear. He’s been cut off.

  Suddenly, someone shoves me from behind and I feel myself falling onto the hard pavement below. My phone flies out of my hand and smashes on the ground, and there is a sharp pain in my leg. Looking up, I notice a man towering above me and a familiar voice sneers, “Hello, bitch.”

  I see a familiar face staring at me with twisted hatred and he sneers, “Look at you cowering on the ground with the filth where you belong. Let me help you up.”

  I shake my head and make to call for help, but he grabs me in one sharp move and pulls me into a side alley.

  He then holds me against the wall by my neck and hisses, “Did you really think I’d let you get away with what you did – bitch?”

  I can’t even move, but my eyes are wide and terrified as I look into the burning hatred flashing from Declan Cole’s hard, unforgiving, eyes.

  “You got me fired and I’ve struggled to find a job as good as that one. But look at you, all dressed up and reaping the rewards of your work in getting me fired. I know it was you and now I’m going to make you pay.”

  Frantically, I struggle, hoping to free myself just enough to scream. The streets are busy all around us as the workers go about their business, but in this alley, behind a huge bank of waste bins, we may as well be on a desert island.

  Declan snarls, “It’s about time someone taught you a lesson.” He slaps me hard across my face and then I feel him shift my skirt until it is bunched above my waist and he rips off my underwear with a sudden force. My eyes bulge as he holds me firmly against the blackened wall, and I’m terrified as he undoes his trousers. The tears blind me as I wait for the inevitable as he pushes against me. Then I hear, “What the fuck is going on?”