This Courageous Journey

by Misty M. Beller

  The voice grew nearer, bringing a flash of memory. Simeon. She forced her eyes open, working to focus through the pounding in her head. Her eyes watered, clouding her vision, but she turned to look for her brother.

  “There she is.” Something heavy settled on the side of the bed, pressing down the mattress. “I knew you were hard-headed, baby sister, but I didn’t think even you would force this poor man to ride through a blizzard to get here.”

  A blizzard? Foggy memories tugged at her mind, but she couldn’t seem to bring them into focus.

  “Simeon.” Words were so hard to push through her aching throat. Her insides felt as though they’d been left out to bake in the sweltering heat of a South Carolina summer sun.

  A strong hand settled on her shoulder. “It’s good to see you, Noelle. Real good.” His voice cracked with those last words.

  Moisture stung her own eyes. “You too.”

  He cleared his throat. “I brought some things to help you perk up. Looks like Monti’s put ‘em in a tea. You drink up, all right?”

  She nodded but stopped when the movement sent a fresh ache pulsing through her head.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Everything is new. I can’t help but feel unsettled. Yet the peace inside carries me forward.

  ~ Daniel

  Noelle’s Journal

  October 14

  So much has happened, I can scarce wrap my mind around it all. I’ll write the details of our harrowing journey since we left the Crow camp later, when I understand it more myself. But I’m content to say, we’ve finally reached Simeon. Or rather, the home of his wife’s brother.

  Simeon has come twice to check on me and bring medicines, but he only stays a few hours at a time lest he be away from his dear Emma when the time comes for their babe to be born. I can’t wait to meet her. I never thought I’d see my big brother so enamored with a woman. When he speaks of her, his face goes soft and starry-eyed. So sweet.

  I think I see the same expression on Daniel’s face when he looks at me, but maybe it’s only so many layers of concern. I must have put him through a great deal of worry and hardship. He’s such a good man to have worked as hard as he did to get me to safety. Such a good man for so many reasons.

  Even now, he sits in a chair near my bed as I write this. My strength has been slow in returning, and this is the first time I’ve been able to sit propped on pillows so long. Daniel pretends to be reading a book, but he sends so many looks my way, it’s a wonder if he knows what he’s reading at all. I should tell him I’m well and that he doesn’t have to hover over me any longer. But I’m afraid.

  If he no longer has the duty to protect me, he will probably leave. I can’t stand the thought of that. Not yet.

  NOELLE SET ASIDE HER journal and relaxed against the pillows propping her. Her gaze slid to Daniel again, then to the book in his hands. “What are you reading?”

  He lifted his focus from the page to look at her, then he closed the book as though checking the title. “The Bible.”

  A surge washed through her. “Really? Are you a Christian?”

  He met her gaze, his intensity stirring concern in her chest. “I’m still not quite sure what that means. I’ve never believed in God. Any god. Never wanted to cater to some being who demanded things and answered prayers only at his whim.”

  He dropped his face to study the book’s leather cover. “I suppose I saw too much of that with my Blackfoot family and their sun god.” He looked up at her again, that intense look more exposed than before. “When we were in that snowstorm and you wouldn’t wake up, I begged your God to help. I pleaded for you to wake up, and you did. Then I promised if He’d get us to help and keep you alive, I’d do anything He asked. Be his servant forever.” His throat worked. “I aim to keep my promise.”

  “Oh, Daniel.” Tears blurred her vision as she reached for him. She couldn’t reach far enough, so he met her halfway, closing his hand around hers. “God has wanted to hear those words since he first formed you. But it’s not a servant he wants so much as a son. He wants you to know Him, Daniel. For you to seek Him. To learn about Him. To walk with Him, hand in hand.”

  She couldn’t see his face through her tears, but she could feel the strength of his hand around hers.

  “I’m not real sure how to do that. Is the Bible the best way to start?”

  Her heart lifted, soaring upward in glorious exhilaration. She couldn’t help the grin that felt like it would split her face. “That’s exactly the best way. Maybe you could read it to me?”

  “ARE YOU SURE YOU’RE strong enough for this?” Daniel tucked the buffalo hide more snuggly around Noelle’s shoulders as she nestled into the sleigh’s seat. The effort brought his face within inches of hers, and the way she was looking at him caught his breath up short. Every part of him craved to press a kiss to her full red lips.

  But with her brother standing a few feet away with the horses, he summoned the strength to back away. Later. He’d find a way to accomplish that kiss later.

  “I’m fine, Daniel. And eager to see my new sister and niece. There’s no need for Simeon to keep chasing back and forth when I can go there and be of some help when the baby comes.” She looked at him with those eyes that seemed to drill into his soul and melt him like snow on a warm day.

  But he couldn’t help his lingering worry. “Are you warm enough?” If this four-hour trip in the cold brought her fever back, he’d chastise himself for allowing it.

  “I am.” A smile tipped her lips.

  He rubbed a hand down the fur covering her arm. “I’ll be right beside you on Pauper. Just speak up if you need to stop for anything.”

  “Simeon is here too. Between you both, I’m sure I won’t want for anything. And I have Griz here to keep my feet warm.” The dog looked up from his position on the sleigh floor, thumping his tail at the sound of his name. He seemed quite content in the spot.

  He squeezed Noelle’s shoulder. “Don’t let yourself get chilled.” He might be taking his worry too far, but he’d come so close to losing her, he wasn’t about to let that happen again.

  The ride was fairly quiet as they followed the tracks Simeon had created on his way over that morning. Noelle and her brother exchanged a few questions and answers as they sat side-by-side in the sleigh, but she still hadn’t regained much of her strength, and being out in the cold seemed to take what little she had.

  Simeon had proved himself a good, capable sort. Strong and rugged, like he’d lived in these mountains for a number of years. So different from Noelle’s delicate form, it was hard to tell they were related. Perhaps they had the same shape of face, but he hadn’t found any other similarity.

  But the affection between them was clear. An old familiar jealousy twinged his gut, something he’d not felt since he lived in the Indian camp as a boy, practically an orphan while his father left for months at a time.

  It was good to see Noelle reunited with her brother, but it didn’t stop his ache to belong to a family of his own.

  At last, they rode into a wide valley where a good-sized log cabin perched in the distance. “There we are.” Simeon shook the reins, and his team picked up their pace. The man pointed to the left at a dark speck farther away. “Emma’s aunt and uncle live at that end of the valley. They have a ranch where they raise cattle and horses. A few men live there to help with the animals.”

  As they entered the yard, a dog trotted from the barn to meet them. A mid-size animal with mottled chestnut coat. Wiry compared to Griz’s pinto fluff.

  The two dogs met with raised tails, slowing as they neared each other. Griz raised his head to stand erect while the other dog slunk around him. Investigating—probably testing—the stranger.

  “Easy, Mustang. He’s a friend.” Simeon’s voice filled the yard.

  Before the dogs could finish their inspection of each other, the cabin’s door flung wide. A woman waddled down the steps, holding a young child on her hip. “You’re here.”

 
Daniel slid from Pauper’s back and stepped close to the sleigh to help when Noelle was ready to get out. But the woman, who must be Simeon’s wife, set the child down on the seat and wrapped Noelle in a thick hug.

  The women chattered for a moment before Mrs. Grant stepped back and turned to him. “Is this the man we have to thank for saving you?”

  Noelle turned her smile on him, sending him one of those looks that made him want to be the man he saw in her eyes. “This is Daniel Abrams, the best guide and friend a girl could ask for.”

  Heat swept up his neck as he extended his hand to the woman, although he couldn’t quite meet her gaze. But as she took his hand to shake, it occurred to him women didn’t shake hands in greeting. He backed away and managed a “Pleased to meet you,” as his face went up in flames.

  “Come inside then. Both of you. It’s too cold to visit out here.” Mrs. Grant scooped up her daughter and motioned them forward.

  That was his cue, and he stepped toward Noelle to lift her into his arms.

  “I can walk.” Her protest was just loud enough for his ears, but the way she snuggled into him belied the objection.

  “You shouldn’t get wet in this snow.” She was light enough, carrying her was no hardship. Griz followed in his tracks, with no sign of the other dog. Apparently they’d called a truce for now.

  “Come inside and set her in the rocking chair. Your dog too. He can’t stay out in the cold.” Mrs. Grant held the door and motioned them through.

  As he settled Noelle in the chair and tucked blankets around her shoulders, her head slumped against the back, dark circles marring the skin under her eyes. He couldn’t help but brush her cheeks there. “You should rest awhile. The trip’s been too much for you.”

  She sent him a weary smile. “I am resting.”

  He gave her a look, but she took his hand and pulled it down to her lap. “I’m fine, Daniel, really. I’ll talk with my new sister for a while, then go lie down.”

  She clearly wasn’t going to change her mind, so he gave her one more warning look before he stood. “I’d better settle the horses.”

  He couldn’t remember a time he’d been inside a house as much as he had these past few days, and it looked like the women planned to get acquainted. Far be it from him to be in their way. The barn sounded like a better place just now.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  This hope burgeoning inside me, it’s one I thought never to feel. Yet I want it more than I ever longed for the other.

  ~ Noelle

  The yard sat empty when he stepped outside, so he headed for the large building where all the tracks seemed to lead. The double doors hung open, and he stepped inside. Simeon’s team stood at the end, still attached to the sleigh, while Simeon rubbed Gypsy with a cloth. Pauper munched hay beside the mare, his saddle already removed.

  Simeon looked up as Daniel stepped inside. “Figured these two have been through enough, they’d be happy for a bed of straw to rest in.”

  Daniel nodded his thanks. “They don’t often get that. But they’ve had a long trip, and not enough food at times along the way. They’re still catching up.”

  The other man patted Gypsy’s shoulder. “We’ve aplenty. You can put them in those first two stalls if you like. There’s already hay and water in there. My girls like to share the big one.”

  “We’re obliged.” Daniel stepped forward and took Gypsy’s lead line, but he took his time settling the animals in their stalls. He’d been so focused on staying close to Noelle, he hadn’t given the animals the attention he should have while they were at Joseph’s place. Thankfully, Joseph had taken good care of these old friends in his stead.

  While he was still in Pauper’s stall, Simeon wandered over and propped his arms on the rail, watching him as he checked over the gelding for injuries. The look carried more than friendship.

  Daniel held his tongue. Best let the other man speak his mind. He had an idea what would be coming.

  “I haven’t heard the entire story from my sister, but I plan to.” Simeon’s voice came out in a rumble that made it clear he took the topic ahead seriously. “As I understand it, the Biggers were with you as far as Fort Whitson, but they chose to stay and homestead there.” The pause made it clear he was waiting for Daniel to confirm or deny the statement.

  He kept his focus on the horse. “That’s right.”

  “And you traveled on with my sister for more than two weeks after you left there. Alone.”

  Daniel turned to face him squarely. “It was actually more than three weeks, counting the time I was laid out from a lightning strike, then the extra days we stayed in the Apsaloke camp.”

  Simeon’s brows rose, a clear accusation on his face. “Anything happen on that journey I should know about?”

  “A great deal happened.” He paused, letting that sink in. “Your sister’s virtue is unsullied.” A spurt of anger sluiced through him at the implied insult, but he pressed it down. The man had every right to be concerned.

  He held Simeon’s gaze, letting him see the truth in his eyes.

  After a long look, Simeon moved his gaze to the horse, a frown pinching his brow. “Spending weeks alone with you didn’t help her reputation any. Back east, that isn’t done. I know conventions are looser out here, but Noelle plans to make a name for herself in the cities. I can’t imagine this will make people think favorably of her.”

  A niggle of unease crept through him. He’d not thought about her reputation back east when he’d agreed to guide her the rest of the way, only what her brother would think about it. Had he ruined her dreams?

  Would marrying her resolve other people’s concerns or only make things worse? He’d planned to ask Noelle if she’d have him, but maybe he should talk through the repercussions with Simeon first. He wouldn’t jeopardize Noelle’s dream, even if it meant walking away from her.

  At least, he wanted to be so noble. He would walk away if it was best for her.

  He inhaled a strengthening breath. “Simeon, I’d like to ask your sister to marry me. But I don’t want to stand in the way of her dream.”

  The man’s gaze narrowed on him, scrutinizing, reading between and around each of his words.

  Daniel pressed on. “I wouldn’t make her stay here. I’d go where she wants to live, make a living however I could there. But if you think I’ve tainted her reputation and having me around will make it worse, I need to know.”

  A long, long silence stretched. Daniel stood still at first, but Simeon seemed lost in his thoughts. Daniel’s skin started to itch from the tension, so he turned back to the horse, stroking Pauper’s neck.

  “Why do you want to marry my sister?”

  Daniel spun back to face him, letting the question settle in his mind. Why? The tangle of emotions was almost too much to put into words, but he did his best. “When I first met your sister, I didn’t think she belonged in these mountains. She’s so dainty and delicate, but it didn’t take long for me to realize her strength. She steps in and does whatever needs doing. She’s never too tired to care about others. She doesn’t say a lot of useless things, and what she does say makes you feel special. She’s special.”

  He paused to swallow down the lump rising in his throat. “I know she could do a sight better than a mountain-born half-Métis, but somewhere in those mountains I realized she means more to me than my next breath. I’m willing to do whatever it takes to make her happy, and I’ve been praying hard that involves me being in the picture, too.”

  He was spent. Out of breath. Out of words. Let that be enough for him, God. When he said he’d been praying about this, he hadn’t been spouting nonsense. Over these past days, he’d talked to God more than he’d ever imagined he would. About everything, from whether he should leave Noelle’s side long enough to go hunting to whether he should pack up his things and head out before he could no longer bring himself to do it.

  God sometimes gave a clear feeling one way or the other, but with that last question, there hadn�
��t seemed to be an obvious answer. He had no peace with the thought of abandoning Noelle. No direction that the Almighty wanted him to leave, so he’d stayed.

  Daniel lifted his eyes to Simeon’s face. Their gazes locked, Simeon’s still as intense as before. “As to your question about whether you marrying Noelle would further taint her reputation, it actually works the other way. Usually once the couple is married, past indiscretion is forgotten. Mostly.”

  Simeon let out a long breath. “I don’t know you well, Abrams, but my sister seems to think you set the stars in the sky. I’m not inclined to go with her opinion alone, but I appreciate what you did to save her.” He ran a hand through his unruly hair. “Heavens, I’m thankful.”

  “If you feel as much for my sister as you say you do, I suppose it’s up to her. You might as well ask her. She’s a stubborn one. If she doesn’t want to marry you, she’ll set the matter straight.”

  One corner of Daniel’s mouth tugged upward. Noelle definitely had her own opinions. He nodded. “I appreciate it.”

  Simeon straightened, then turned away. “I need to do a couple more things before I head in, but you’re welcome to go on when you’re ready.”

  With a final pat for his gelding, Daniel slipped out of the stall. “I’ve a free pair of hands. Let me know what needs doing.”

  THE NEXT AFTERNOON found Noelle leaning over the table with her little niece. “See the star? And the heart?” She pointed to each flat shape as she said the name.

  “Tah.” Hannah poked her pudgy finger into the star-shaped dough.

  “That’s right, sweetness.” Noelle planted a kiss on her cute cheek, in that soft spot just below Hannah’s ear. “You’re such a smart girl. You must take after your Aunt Noelle.”

  Her niece beamed up at her, showing a row of sparkly teeth. “Aunt ’Welle.”

  How could she resist that smile? She ruffled the girl’s soft brown curls. “That’s right. Aunt Noelle loves you.”